“Loui.”

So much steam and red smog flowed into that tiny room. His sight grew hazy with it as he breathed in the noxious fumes and exhaled it out. It did not suffocate him regardless of how thick it was. He grew up in such conditions, so its oppressive presence was not an issue. He felt hot, uncomfortable, and he was not even sure if the humid conditions caused it. So strange to feel so smouldering, when for so long everything was freezing.

He found himself sitting on... something. It was soft but he could not tell whether it was a pillow or simply a mattress.

The smog grew thicker.

His head felt slightly fuzzy and, as he tried to concentrate and all that resulted was a headache. He leaned back, only to find his back pressed against another body.

This startled Loukas, even in his hazy inebriated state. A gentle hand and fingers ran through his soft hair. That current hot feeling intensified when a pair of lips pressed the side of his neck, and he felt his blood rush.

“Loui, you’ve had a hard day, didn’t you?” a familiar voice said with a purred. Loukas, despite the feeling of something, was off, allowed his head cradled in those thin arms and, quietly nodded.

He...

He did not want to think about today or tomorrow, or yesterday. Every day was separated by times of pain and times he was not in it. He just wanted all of it to stop, but what could he do?

“... I can see that,” the voice distinctly masculine albeit of a higher pitch, “Guess who can help with that?” It chimed.

He wanted to ask how he can make these many past horrible years better. How can he? How can anyone? All he had ever known was to grit his teeth and bear it... bear it all until…

Just be content with it...

He then felt the comforting presence on his back disappear much to his disappointment until a soft finger pressing against his now bare chest shown by his recently unbuttoned shirt.

“Oh, Loulou , I know exactly a great distraction,” That fluffy eared goat beast-kin said with that seductive grin ad straddling his waist.

A small part of him wanted to deny this, but that part was dumb and not letting him enjoy things. So for now he would throw it away.

The kisses were making his unbuttoned shirt feel too much already, and an increasingly even smaller part was telling him still something was off.

“What... Kind of distraction?” His voice despite himself came out raspy. His pants felt too tight at this point as he was tempted to reach for the button and zipper already.

The smog was suffocating and it smelt of lilac perfume.

“Well, How about a game?” that familiar tone echoed throughout the room, “You spilt some ice cream on the front of your pants and, I’m just gonna see how quickly I can lick it up. It already seeped through very… thoroughly”

His grin had a naughty glint to it as he placed both hands on top of a now very, sensitive area. Loukas inadvertently let out a low groan and gasp from the touch.

He wanted more…

This was odd. The whole thing was off but…

He just did not want to think anymore. He wanted to at least take his mind off everything and not worry about what was to come of him. Even for a few minutes, he just wanted to pretend everything was fine.

Everything was alright.

He was loved back.

It was not alright and he feared he was not.

But he still wanted to pretend.

As his tongue ran over his razor-sharp teeth and Hide’s finger fiddled with Louka’s bulging zipper, he answered, “Okay… I’ll bite.” He leaned closer to Hide with that sharp, lustful smile, “Just make sure you lap up every bit of…”

“........................... It”

Loukas slowly opened his eyes again, found himself in his bed and, with the sun about to rise. He let out a groan of frustration and annoyance. He was so close…

He then realized what he just woke up from, and his extreme frustration and annoyance turned into one of embarrassment and shame. He went to his bathroom that morning, making sure no one was around as he made sure his bedsheets were dry. He was fortunately they were mostly dry, as much as he wished the dream went on for a little more. He was dumb for wanting that.

He held his head under the cold water as he allowed the aching lower part of him to cool off as he felt more and more guilty.

Once he got out of his long and very much necessary cold shower, he wiped off the dripping water from his hair and near his bed was a meal on a little silver trolly.

On closer inspection, it seemed to be a slab of some sort of meat, most likely left by a servant, specifically for him. His tongue instinctively ran across his teeth and lips, making him realize how hungry he was.

He narrowed his eyes at the meal, shook his head and dumped it into the bin.

He was not interested in anything they serve him anymore; it was always the same now, and he hated how it made him feel.

Putting on his clean clothes, he internally went over his schedule for that day.

Eat.

Session…

Rest.

Take Hide, out for some shopping for new clothes.

Hang out with Carole and Hide this evening.

Giving himself a nod as he slipped on his shoes over his socks. He exited his room and tried not to think of the incoming session nor on that wonderful that awful dream.

The day until that afternoon was just the same. It hurts, but he can bear it.

“I might have gotten better at this,” Loukas thought as he laid on his bed and traced the now faded scars on his legs with a finger.

Before, when he was a child, a mere second would have left him bedridden for over weeks on end. But right at the moment, he could last longer, and he can not remember that last time these sessions left him unable to move for over one day.

Not that he can remember specifically anything anymore.

Just feelings… vague pictures... pain.

He then heard his cell ring pulling him out of the daze.

2 missed calls and 3 messages.

He must be really out of it.

Looking at the messages, he saw the familiar chat-style from that little goat beast-kin.

“Sup u g0in? or Ill ditch d:”

Loukas let out a chuckle at the mangled message as he texted back.

“Yeah, I’m going, just wait near the exit. I don’t want anyone to see us leave together alright.”

With that, he put his phone to his side as he felt that familiar glow of warmth from the crude messages. He pulled over some warm clothes, a sweater and a wool hat, and headed out. Happy to at least have something to take his mind off everything.

Hide has been getting paid for his work with Loukas' family. Although Loukas was fully willing to pay for everything with his card, Hide rejected it with the notion of, “not being a gold digger." He instead threw all his money on at first the newest Computer parts. At least that was what Loukas can determine about those pieces of metal. Maybe it was to build his own Pc or something like that. It did not matter, either way, Hide looked so excited during the purchase. He wanted to tell him everything and what every part does. Even though Loukas could not keep track of the many parts nor understand the first thing about them. Hide's enthusiasm was simply too infectious and almost innocent to not just listen to whenever he talked about his interest.

Although Loukas still had no idea why so many parts had X in the name.

With the remaining cash, Hide splurged on himself. He decided, having moved up in the world, wanted to show it off to all who looked at him. Getting his nails done at a salon allowing them to be neatly manicured painted in a glossy black. He then bounced to the clothing section and obtained a variety of colourful hoodies and shorts. Each article deliberately was more garish, skimpy and eye-searing than the last.

Hide knew the manor would have a big party hosted soon, with Loukas’ family and their personal guests in attendance. So maybe that's why Hide decided it would be appropriate, to dress himself to be the centre of as much negative attention as possible. Although Loukas was more looking for him to get an actual formal suit.

He still would not want to change Hide for the world. He was actually envious of his confidence in his body and his ability not just bask in the attention.

Still, it was hard to not stare and admire him.

Not in any obscene way, Hide just looked good in these kinds of clothes, that was all there was to it. He looked handsome in them, beautiful even.

Loukas for a minute almost wanted to laugh at how things change. Just last year he would have just invited his... Sorta girlfriend to this.

She was not awful or anything. She was in fact very nice, never mean nor rude to him nor others. He at times suspected she was nice, mostly because of basic common sense. Marry to the future heir and get all the perks and wealth of Ildens.

Just like his father did with his mom.

Their families of course had restricted the relationship between the two teens as much as possible, but he did not mind that in fact it was almost liberating not feeling pressured for once to do... things. He remembered enjoying the company she gave him. However, he always thought romance would be... more. More feelings more.. something, maybe that was just fiction.

That secret kiss she gave, instead of feeling nice it felt... His first thought was simply "that was it?"

He felt bad for her, after that, she must have realized it too. As pulled away from his lack of response and tried to change the subject.

They rarely talk after that. Especially after he mentioned wanted some space. Last he heard she was engaged to someone else. He was relieved. He hated dragging along someone who may have felt something for him when his own love was probably not what she wanted.

Thus he might as well invite two people he knows and was friends with. He shook his hazy head again to stare down Hide who wore...

The world's skimpiest hoody revealing his scrawny chest and tight tiny shorts that clung on to the curves of his butt as his tail wagged with excitement. If it had any less cloth he would have just been completely naked… The garment even revealed his nipples that peeked out from the hood.

Why did that cross his mind?

“How’s this, Loulou,” Hide gave him that cheeky smirk snapping Loukas out of his current daze. “Maybe I can walk in with this and all you stuffy losers in stiff suits and dresses, would just sit up and stare at my style. Make them all real jealous Hahaha."

“P-put, th-those clothes away, You are not going to my family’s party d-dressed like that!” Loukas stammered averting his eyes somewhat.

Hide pouted and tugged on the jacket’s drawstrings.

“You're so mean Loulou, don't be such a prude,” Hide stuck out his tongue at Loukas and did an exaggerated pout.

Despite his deep blush, Loukas found himself trying not to laugh at the display. Hide can be so damn cute at times… For a guy.

But no way in this lifetime he would let Hide dress like that in front of his family, Loukas did not think he they could survive a night that if it happened. Most likely Hide would have been kicked out of the party within the first few seconds.

Loukas finally got him to pick something more classy, that he finally agreed to wear, for the event... After much convincing. He wished Carole was not busy working. She's a very classy girl. She could easily, if she tried, blend into a crowd of billionaires and impress them with her refined way of speaking at times. He had no clue why she did not see that and seemed so sad usually.

He then wondered how to cheer the little angel up.

Loukas arm was tugged by Hide, who excitedly pointed towards the theatre of the mall, for the next activity of the day.

“Hey, hey why not something fun,” Hide pointed to the poster of some science fiction movie with guns and apparently alien spaceships.

Loukas gave the excited Hide a soft smile and went towards the theatre, “sure why not? It's only an hour and a half.”

Hide grinned at Loukas in return as they both headed towards the theatre.

That turned into the best and worst decision he could have made for the outing.

The biggest issue of this was the fact there was only one more seat remaining, so Hide got the brilliant idea to use Loukas’ lap as a seat as they watched the movie. After that dream, it was… distracting, especially as Hide seemed to have issues with sitting still and fidgeted constantly, making Loukas very aware of the body heat radiating from him as he tried to keep his mind on the film as much as possible.

The next issue was Loukas’ height, blocking many people in the back as he heard the grumbles and mutters of annoyance from the people behind him as he slumped further into his seat. The next issue was Hide himself.

He liked to talk… a lot. Especially on how unrealistic science fiction was. Loukas had been so used to watching films with him and Carole that forgot how in a public setting that trait was more a nuisance to others than an endearing one. Hide would chat, question and joked in a way that Loukas snickered and laughed at the shorter man’s quips and insistent questions.

Ultimately, the two men were asked to leave the theatre early and Hide probably blacklisted both of them by showing the crowd and the employees his middle finger as they got politely booted out.

It was embarrassing, mortifying and simply… fun…

Loukas had fun, just hanging out and laughing with him.

His eyes passed by the food court of the mall, and an idea lit up in his head. He may not have time to cook, but maybe there were some pastries he can buy for Carole. Maybe a bit for Hide as well.

As a sign of friendship.

“Hey Hide you hungry?” He said to the goat-man as walked by his side, arms swinging.

Hide looked up at him, “Well yeah of course, duh. I don’t want to starve with these losers Loulou.”

Making his order a giant plate of ribs, Loukas ordered a big slice of blueberry jam-filled sponge cake covered in creamy custard.

Hide ordered vegan quiche with apple juice on the side and got his card rejected.

A surprise to no one, it turned out he used up his last cent, meaning much to Hide’s reluctance Loukas paid for his meal.

“This RAM module is optimised to hell, for literally every kind of thing, but to pick that crap would mean I miss out on-,”

Hide, as they ate, began thoroughly explaining why he picked the parts that he picked. Even though Loukas did not understand a word of what he said, he still enjoyed hearing the man’s childlike joy when he spoke on the topic. He nodded along smiling and enjoying the meal. All seemed to be well only for him to get knocked back by Hide's seemingly innocent question.

“So, you're gonna be running Asbjorn corporation soon huh?” he said, stirring his straw in his apple juice.

“Oh, um... yeah by next year at least,” Loukas had just finished devouring the entire plate of ribs, “And probably married by then too.”

Hide let out a whistle, “Loulou you sly dog, I never knew you had a girl wet and ready for you.”

Loukas choked on his drink at the sudden lewd turn, “W-wait- wait, what? It's more a courtship thing, so um. It's not like that. ... I doubt it would be her... It could be someone else by the way things look."

A complete stranger is most likely...

Loukas wiped his lip with a napkin before regaining his composure to continue, "I get a lot.... of um... letters. For dates, courtships, an outright marriage request... It's kinda.. weird.. like they only seen my picture sent out.”

He would be happy if they all found happiness somewhere else.

Hide scoffed, “lame. You have girls lined up wanting to suck your dick, and you settle for a courtship? Of all things. What’s the point? Wanna keep your virgin powers or something? Are you planning on becoming a wizard?”

Despite how crude it was, Loukas folded his arms and tried to act unaffected. Although his waiver in his voice and the blush of his face ruined that attempt. “Maybe I prefer to know someone a bit until marriage. As my mother said, waiting brings the sweetest of fruits.”

Hide rolled his eyes at the remark, "Or maybe I can take you to a club in the area to get you some tail from some hot chick. It would be easy to find one for a young guy like you."

Loukas flinched, "Um no..."

Hide chuckled at his hurried response but his gaze suddenly sharpened as he asked.

“What was your mom like, anyway?”

Loukas could not help but instinctively bit down on his lower lip as soon as he heard that question.

“Um, she was a pleasant woman ... who raised me and my brothers, I think I said this before,” He moved a lock of hair from his eyes, “Why did you ask?”

“Just curious. You are pretty much in big brother mode 24/7 and I’m just wondering if you came out her vagina like that or something,” Hide gave him a cheeky grin, allowing the younger man to relax as his lips pulled into a lazy smile despite the vulgar way Hide said it.

“Oh no, definitely not,” He said, “I was a little terror as a kid, beat up my cousins cus I thought they were talking bad about me and my brothers, skipping my homeschool sessions, running off to Orbis knowing where for days on end.” He let out a chuckle, “Running away attempts... Overall not a good kid, gave Cherly a lot of headaches for 14 years.”

“Dang,” Hide looked up at Loukas with awe, “That sounds so fucking cool. What brought out your meek, I'm soft side, anyway? I Wanna see the Loulou who kicked some ass.”

Loukas, despite his easy-going smile, felt nothing but dread. That Loukas was a dumb kid, a dumb kid who did not know his place.

“I guess you can thank my mom for some of my patience nowadays,” By now his large drink was empty, “Whenever we were alone together she would talk to me… she was open, told me about her day as did I, her stress, her fears for the future, so did I. Cried on my shoulder when... When things were too much...I... I learnt a lot from her... Then... Then she died...”

Those words poured out his mouth a lot easier than he expected. It was... honestly difficult recalling her at this point. So... difficult…

His head hurts…

“Hey, Loulou, stop staring at the stars and focus on me!” Hide’s voice snapped him out of his daze.

“Oh um, sorry,” Loukas laughed sheepishly, rubbing his hand through his hair, “This kind of thing happens a bit to me...”

Hide rocked back on his chair, “Oh really, I haven’t noticed,” He replied with biting sarcasm.

“Look, my mom was the heir, and they selected me to be her replacement. It was what I’m made to do and I shall fulfil the job.”

He lied about things and hide the murder of his aunt…

He did not try to prevent her death and threw her into a furnace to burn.

Mom would not want this... She would never...

“You always say that,” Hide either ignoring Loukas spacing out on him or realizing just him talking brought him back. “But, is that what you really want, Loulou?”

What he wanted?…

What he wants is to fulfil his role...

But...is that what he wanted?

Before Loukas could provide an answer, a brash, loud voice yelled out, “Oh shit?! Don’t tell me…”

Loukas turned to the source as did Hide, who upon having his eyes set upon the approaching voice, set themselves into a harsh and firm glare.

A brunette fox beast-kin, a few inches taller than Hide, moved towards them. He wore very casual khaki pants with long thick socks and a green coat showing he had just arrived inside the heated mall. His bushy tail swayed from side to side as his fox ears twitched underneath his cap once his eye laid upon them.

“Hide, you’re still here?” He scratched his head before his gaze sharpened on him, “I guess you were just talking hot air back then, huh?”

Loukas heard a chair scraping against the ground, drawing a few odd glances from others towards them. Hide still on the chair with a tense smile and said in return, “Oooooh, so let me guess Matty. Did you suck off enough dumbasses to afford that jacket? Not cute. Very uncute. At least a guy like me has standards.”

Loukas sat tense in his seat as he gazed between the two, Fox-beast kin unbothered by Hide’s remark, crossed his arms, “Still an immature ass? I guess that’s a dumb question from a stunted-”

The man shook his head, “No, no. Look Hide. I have something to tell you-”

Hide growled and gave the fox beast kin the middle finger. He hopped off his chair and grabbed Loukas by the arm, much to the taller man's surprise. “How about no? Fox bastard can go fuck off elsewhere I'm out.” And with him getting the final word Hide ran out of the store back into the cold with Loukas still confused with what's going on and reluctantly dragged after him.

Loukas could only catch a glance back at the man who seemed trying to call them back but to no avail as Hide refused to even glance behind them.

Loukas, once they went some distance away, stopped running causing the shorter goat man, still holding his hand, to stop in his tracks from the sudden anchor at his arms.

“Loulou, what the Fuck! Warn me before you turn statue on me or something,” He shouted at him

Loukas realized Hide was holding his hand and became painfully aware of how firm and warm it was and how gently he was unintentionally caressing his fingers.

Damn it... Maybe... Maybe he had a... crush. But that does not make much sense.

Maybe he was just a pervert-

“Earth to Loulou!,” Hide shouted, pulling him back.

“Huh?”

Hide still gripping his hand, “No huhs to me. You’re growing so damn red it's embarrassing.”

Loukas realized upon his face was an intense blush much to his increased mortification, “W-well um, It-It was embarrassing. L-like who-who was that guy?”

Hide’s annoyance grew very sombre.

He, despite Loukas’ desire for the opposite, let go of his hand. He took a deep breath and said, “What if I told you... He was my boyfriend.”

Loukas felt himself pause. He also felt that ugly feeling again, he hated that feeling. As much as he denied he had a crush, he could not deny what that bitter feeling was. He swallowed back any from surfacing. He simply could not show it.

“Oh, um... I didn’t know you were, um... into other guys. I mean I-.”

Hide gave Loukas a deadpanned look, “I thought I made it very obvious… Damn, I didn’t think you would be that dense. I guess straight people are like that. Seeing only hetero everywhere.”

Loukas stammered, “Oh um, I-I s-s-sorry I didn’t mean to-”

Hide then broke out in laughter.

Huh?

“Loulou seriously, you actually believed that." He threw his head back and laughed even harder, "Look, as I said I have standards,” He held his head up as if to emphasize his so-called high standards.

“Oh... I guess... I should stop being so gullible, huh,” Loukas let out a small sheepish laugh and much to his relief and disappointment in himself, all that bitterness disappeared the instant Hide renounced the claim.

"Naah, No, don’t change, you’re fine,” Hide then turned his eyes upwards to the cold sky, “He was a friend. We did a lot of shit together, mischief, fun shit just... hanged out…." Hide, as he spoke has a small smile grow on his face. It was a painfully soft gentle thing before it swiftly morphed into a sneer as he continued, "screw him for acting all big and shit. He’s a dick… end of the story.”

The way he ended that sentence ... sounded off.

Hide then much to Loukas’ surprise held his hand again, tightly Loukas felt aware of how small his hand was compared to his own.

“It doesn’t matter anymore, He probably came to lecture me and shit. What a loser.”

He turned and without even glancing back said, “Let’s get back before some jerks realize we’re gone.”

Hide did not let go, nor Loukas asked him to let go. Side by side they walked back as they laughed and talked.

With that, his outing with Hide ended. Despite everything, Loukas had to admit he enjoyed being around him. Just talking with him despite Hide’s crude nature and words made him forget his worries.

He was… fun and made him laugh and enjoy himself.

With his hands still warm from Hide's rough touch, he laid in bed that night with his mind drowned by the sensations. He... He liked him... Loukas really liked him.

He knew the man was also hiding something from him. He could not precisely say what.

But deep down he knew.