Year 1 has been rewritten, and the new summer arc "5.5: HELL OF AN ACT" has been posted! It follows Julia, as her & her socially-justice-minded protege Markus clash while Mia & Marisa help them investigate a branch of the mafia. [Yes, the name was changed: I explain why later.]

There have been enough changes made to existing arcs that I would suggest re-reading, but before I begin with the general philosophy, I'd like to address my non-interaction with comments. I saw a few comments on Year 4 -- which, if they were positive, genuinely warms me, because I just assumed everyone got sick of the story before then. Still, I can list off reasons why I don't interact, but it mostly comes down to that I've got worse social anxiety than Julia, and Yuruko/Serena's trait of assuming the entire internet is as kill-yourself-toxic as 4chan.

If you enjoy Urasaria, I very much appreciate you, and I hope that, eventually, I'll have solved this emotional (but not artistic!) failure on my part. Thank you.

On to general philosophy of the rewrite.

Characterization remains queen, and lesbianism has been buffed: Mia & Aimee go on dates, they make out, they cuddle and buy gifts. They even have a small leadup-to-sex scene in Arc 2, Christmas. Year 1 is now also no longer indicative of a time when I believed readers would be bored without melodrama. Some remains for effect, like Magnus's persona, but no longer are cheap hooks favored over depth.

This was difficult, because 1 of the reasons melodrama is favored over drama is that it is more *immediately* entertaining, but I have also tried to be more humorous & cut out needless dialogue. Prior to 5.5 being added, Year 1 actually went from 120k words -> 95k while sacrificing nothing of depth.

But let's get to arc specifics for how that happened.

[ARC 1: SCOURGE OVER URASARIA]

I was pleased by this arc when I first wrote it, and I still am now. An extended introduction ensures the reader is behind Mia's eyes from the plot's start. Marisa has her Year-4 characterization of a younger, more rebellious "down with authority" lesbian, whose hero name has been changed from Boudoir to Lavender Menace.

Some new developments may please left-wing readers. Marisa confesses to Mia that she steals goods for her impoverished family, and Aimee comes from a wealthy family whose sole inheritance to her is a firm sense of guilt. (Characters are 90-95% similar, these are just additions/deepenings.) Lack of initial Mia-confidence made some of her dialogue difficult, but I've also layered characters like Makoto - who, for all her contrarianism, is a supportive friend who encourages Aimee to pursue Mia.

A new fight in Chapter 6's intro shows off Mia's electrical scarabs. The tournament chapter has been kept: it's a genre cliche, so you're legally allowed to note it as a flaw, as cliches are objectively flaws. But the final stretch is different; Matoi no longer apologizes to Mia until Arc 2, and as with the other arcs, useless scenes have been cut/turned in to prose. For example, there is no characterization in Aimee explaining via dialogue how Urasaria's cameras saw Doppori, so it's just turned in to "Aimee relayed that Rewind, which acted as Urasaria's cameras, had seen...".

Lastly, Magnus's final duel has been moved from January 6th to December 20th, and as he dies, he recalls this moment with Ryumi to Mia:

"The moment with her I most remember was in my second year at Urasaria, during a summer afternoon. It was a summer afternoon. I was reading through research papers at my desk, and I had a presentation to work through for the start of the semester. She came over to me, and I thought of how beautiful she looked.

She told me that she couldn't wait for winter, and asked me what my favorite season was. I replied that it did not matter much, as I was always indoors. She prodded me, and I eventually said fall, for how the leaves change, and that it's neither too cold or too hot. When I turned to look at her, she was smiling a little. At that moment, I realized her trait of always asking small questions of me, and why she asked them. I can't explain why that simple moment moved me so profoundly."

My only concern with this arc is its initial slow pace, but I hope readers recognize that the first 6,000 words set up Revenants, Urasaria Academy, 6 characters, *and* a plot. 6,000 words to set up a 600,000 word series is reasonable, and those who need instant gratification will not last long regardless.

[ARC 2: LANACCA STATE OF MIND]

For this arc, I quote Deus Ex: "You take another step forward, and here I am again, like your own reflection repeated in a hall of mirrors."

That makes me one ugly son-of-a-bitch.

This arc's numerous flaws made it tiring to edit: it begins by cutting away from Aimee & Mia to develop 2 male characters who have 2 chapters in the entire series. Characterization like Saya's PTSD & Aimee's secrecy of Ningsing Revenants is neither deep nor re-readable, and the melodrama makes even less sense with how close Mia & Aimee grow in Arc 1.

I began by cutting the first chapter and having Aimee relay the plot with Lanara/Appraise to Mia & Marisa when relevant. Unfortunately, Atori's fight with Yujin is a good fight, so I needed to write a character introduction to Atori in C4 - alright. I take another step forward, and here my errors are again, like a hall of scenes where nothing is revealed but that Aimee is keeping something secret & Mia is worried.

After a week of attempting to extract characterization from these scenes, I became so fed up that I thought "how would I rewrite this fucking arc from the *start*?"

And so, Aimee now tells Mia the truth of the Ningsing Revenants early. Not wanting to allow the creep Makoto around Marisa, Mia swaps to be in Miarsa & Matoi's trio, and has to play diplomat between the two, as Marisa is still pissed Matoi confronted Mia in Arc 1, while Matoi is her usual "need-no-one" self. Saya's PTSD still occurs, but not to the point of paralysis: she does get set off by Matoi's "you would have made a good student" comment, however.

Fantastic: except another issue arises. The sunlight Revenant fight now needed to be rewritten with Marisa/Matoi/Mia, as did the casino fight. How could Matoi be kidnapped by Vortext post-Ten-Mile, which is a fight that occured to the *Aimee/Mia/Matoi* trio? Someone has to comfort Matoi after she's saved: I need Marisa & Matoi to like each other by Year 3, so how can it be Aimee doing it?

Thankfully, these were all solved, but no other arc in Year 1 had such structural issues. Aimee/Makoto/Mia now speak with each other at the diner so Aimee can relay the exact Ningsing abilities to Mia, and are attacked by Ten-Mile there. Matoi shows up unprompted and nearly kills herself breaking the barrier, prompting even worse feelings of inferiority after she's saved.

Afterwards, Marisa mentions to Mia that they were attacked by a Revenant (one Mia feels guilty when she recognizes the ability, & wonders if she should confess to Marisa), and that Matoi "ran off without telling us: she was the only one who had her tablet." This mix of selflessness & selfishness endears her enough to Marisa that she comforts her, and reveals her own insecurities over her past mentorship & her friendship with Mia.

It's not great, but it's more revealing than Mia asking Aimee if she would ever lie to her, and the endless deflections.

[ARC 3: THE END OF AN ERA]

This was the final arc I rewrote in Year 1 (5-4-1-2-3), and while a little rushed, there was much less to fix than the 2nd.

Looking through what I had rewritten, I noticed Makoto is even less likable: she's more contrarian, she sets Mia off by commenting on her father, and she's generally a little shit. Because Urasaria is not a series like Mad Men where everyone is terrible, few readers will care to empathize with Makoto & even less will read paragraphs of prose for her mental state: let alone that this was her final arc.

Fortunately, this allowed for more Marisa & Sylvia characterization. It's a short arc, so I won't spoil much: if you re-read, I'd just recommend the Grant/Sylvia club scene in C2 and Makoto's rewritten apology in C5. The ending scene also has a goodie for re-readers, as only you will understand it.

Similarly, Era didn't change much: I couldn't have him be too deep, because he's an insane psychopath who ignores the objective obvious reasons why it couldn't have been Mia. I did enjoy attempting a purposeful banal line in Ryumi's scene: after she murders Garcian's parents, she thinks about what she'll ask her husband to make for dinner that night.

[ARC 4: RED & BLUE & WHITE AND WHITE]

Originally, the arc's melodrama is that Matoi realizes she's attracted to Mia while training her, and Mia feels guilty over her own attraction to Matoi, as she feels it indicates a lack of love for Aimee. Mia grows more secure in her relationship after talking with Marisa, who advises her that it's alright, because she clearly loves Aimee & her attraction to Matoi is only physical. Matoi similarly grows out of her crush.

This was pretty silly, so it's been scrapped. As the two train, Matoi & Mia now discourse over dinner in a variety of topics, usually relating to crime, men, or culture. Matoi harshly believes that the cause of violent crime is incomprehensibly complex but must be punished lethally, while Mia believes that it comes from criminals with manifest issues in their childhood.

For Matoi, I use her as a test case for something I usually shyed away from: more dislikeable traits. For example, she makes a comment about authentic Chinese food being disgusting that Mia picks up on as not being about cuisine, and her radfem shows when she comments that men are disgustingly obsessed with sex.

It's difficult, and I tended to avoid this so as not to ruin later empathy, but I will attempt it for her, as it does make her a more complex character. I believe I will also add a small scene in "Lock Eyes With A Gorgon" [Year 2/Arc 8] where she realizes Serena is transgender, but "in Matoi's view, it took a lot of guts to attend an academy where she was likely the sole representative of her identity", to make her more likable. (And, as LGBT readers know, this also distinguishes Matoi's radical feminism from *that* type of radical feminism.)

Could I rename this arc, it would be "My Dinner With Matoi".

[ARC 5: FRENCH DEPRESSION]

For lack of a better word, Laura/Auctioneer is originally shown as a "cruel badass" who stomps undocumented immigrants to death and walks coolly off their bodies. But real-life villains are never so cool. Laura now has fallen arches, a foot condition that causes her pain, and the first scene has her limp off of a corpse before speaking to Edgar. Even as their homophobia/racism is expanded, Laura ends as both scary & pathetic: a virulent racist who can barely stand due to overwork at an essentially evil job.

For the Jeanne & Nuiko drama, Nuiko is originally essentially a hyper-joke character, and shows Jeanne that her comas are caused by ingesting drugs fertilized by Dream.

Before I started working, I thought this would be an excellent arc in the rewrite, and I'm glad to find I was correct. Jeanne is deeply characterized via an extended introduction showing various issues in her life, her outlook, and her former friendship with Nuiko. Nuiko is given her own personal struggles and made less one-note, while keeping her humor: a good case being, when, after finding out that hosts can still use their Revenants while shrunk: "I'm going to try not to think about how many people I've shrunk in to that fucking pouch."

The revelation that Dream causes comas is now saved for a throwaway line in Arc 6, though Nuiko theorizes it, noting that Jeanne has also refused to see a Revenant doctor to help test this theory.

Finally, there is an excellent moment where, before Laura sits down to interrogate Mia, she limps. If UA were animated, I would have Mia reach out to help her for a moment before pulling back - even Mia pities her.

[ARC 5.5: HELL OF AN ACT]

My finest work yet. Seriously, I'm very pleased by this arc on the metrics that I judge art on -- characterization, complexity, humor, lack of cliches, and it even has a good gimmick for the plot. But, the arc does feature Julia prominently, and as my self-insert, all the good parts of her are based on me, and all the bad parts are just me making up stuff.

I'm curious what the reaction to her will be, because while she's honestly a dick, she really is... well. I shouldn't spoil too much. Be on the look-out for the devastating scene where she runs in to an ex-girlfriend, and enjoy -- I'll see you again when Year 2 is rewritten, likely by the end of 2020.

Also, the reason the name was changed was because HELL OF AN ACT fits the villain's Revenant + themes of the arc better; I'll figure out another name for 12.5. On a related note, your RowPin movie recommendation is: Killing of a Chinese Bookie.

Finally, if you actually read these, here's a fun Urasaria fact: Worldwide is such an odd name for an elemental power, isn't it? Rider? Dream? That's because they were originally music names, like in JoJo's: Mr. Worldwide, Ruff Ryders, Dream Theater.