~ Chapter 15 ~

“Wow, they have a great selection today!” Yuuki exclaimed as we perused the ‘new acquisitions’ shelf of the used bookstore, the shelf overflowing with titles I both had and had never heard of.

That morning, despite the late night, I had opened my eyes before the sun, an unfamiliar ceiling hovering above—not the unfamiliar ceiling of my crummy apartment, but the unfamiliar ceiling of one of Mr. Alessi’s upstairs bedrooms, where I had stayed, all of us agreeing to stick together for the time being. It took me a moment to remember where I was, to recall what all had happened the day before, to believe in the life that was currently my own. But once I’d taken a deep breath, everything had shifted into focus, and I felt strangely calm.

I had actually written something the night before. Whatever chaos had happened prior to that, the words nestled in the notebook Satsuya gave me were worth it. At least that’s how I looked at it. Maybe a non-writer would have thought me crazy, but right now I wasn’t sure I cared.

My life was already derailed, so what did it matter if my opinions were skewed, too?

Arranging my red hair into something sort of sensible, I’d ventured downstairs to find Mr. Alessi and Satsuya already up and about, nursing cups of coffee. Both were polished and ready for the day, wide awake even though they’d remained away later than I had. Still feeling sluggish, I’d waded through my brain’s morning fog to sit beside Mr. Alessi with a sleepy smile.

Satsuya placed coffee in front of me as if it were normal—as if he’d done it every day of my life. A tiny bit of my tiny crush had resurfaced before Yuuki appeared, loudly clearing her throat to announce her presence.

She (thankfully) hadn’t stabbed or yelled at me, which gave us time to eat breakfast before venturing out for the day at Mr. Alessi’s insistence.

“The coffee bar is closed on Sunday, and after yesterday’s events, I believe we all need a breath, no? Based on what you tell me, Satsu, the Conscious will not act out until your, ah, period of decision has run out. So we should enjoy ourselves for now.” The older man had grinned a grin there was simply no saying no to before ushering us out the door.

And so here we were at a secondhand bookshop located not far from the bar—a place both Yuuki and I had requested to go.

The shop was well stocked considering its size, shelves weaving through the space to create a literary labyrinth. The smell of aging paper and fresh ink permeated the air, a potent mixture of worlds new and old. Nearly every surface was paneled with wood, reminding me of a restaurant I used to visit with my grandmother, and the shelves were well managed and free of dust. Trinkets from popular works hung from the ceiling, the walls, perched on the top of the bookshelves.

As Yuuki pointed out a few of the ‘recently acquired’ books, I felt eyes on me, and looked up to find a fairy statue peering down at me from above. It too reminded me of my grandmother, and I smiled, a pang of longing echoing in my chest.

“Have you read this one, Ivy?” Satsuya’s little sister asked, stealing my attention. It seemed she was willing to talk politely to me, so long as it pertained to books.

I looked at the cover held in her small hands and shook my head. “No, I haven’t read that one. Actually,” I glanced at the shelf, which held a good deal of romance titles, “I’m surprised how many of these I’ve never even heard of...” I picked up one book, and then another, and then another, flipping through.

It was strange to think how much I had missed, even though I was a bestselling author. Even in my own genre, there were books whose titles were foreign to me—not just old books, but new ones with shiny covers, their dates of print somewhere on the spectrum of the last five years. Some titles I was less than enthusiastic about—‘Night on the Beach Wave’? really?—but others appeared genuinely interesting.

Too bad my poor-girl savings meant I couldn’t afford more than maybe one book. And even that was a stretch.

Wait a minute...considering how my life is going, will I even be able to find a job or submit a new book? Will it be too dangerous to go out in public, even if Satsuya agrees to the Conscious’s demands? Once the World Law catches on, they’ll come after us.

Maybe I’ll make a pen name and send signed books through the mail...

“Find something you like, Miss Ivy?” Mr. Alessi, who stood nearby perusing a selection of nonfiction, gestured to the book held in my hands.

“Oh. Um. I guess.” Honestly, I had yet to look at which book I’d picked up next.

“Good. Good.” Mr. Alessi waved his hand as he praised my book selection skills (or lack thereof). “You were such a large help yesterday, I feel I owe you, so purchase as many books as you like. You too, Miss Yuuki. You’ve been working extra hard on your studies and in the shop this week.”

I wondered if Mr. Alessi knew how dangerous a phrase like ‘purchase as many books as you want’ was. But, judging from the excited gleam in Yuuki’s eyes, and the way she grinned from ear to ear, he was probably very much aware.

“Just don’t buy too many, or you’ll never be able to finish them.” Satsuya said from his place off to the side. He was the only one of us who wasn’t looking at books, a fact which hurt my heart—but maybe he had too many already, and that was why he wasn’t looking, and was giving his sister this advice.

Yuuki huffed, though she didn’t appear at all annoyed. “I won’t buy too many, big brother. Besides...at least I’m not pathetic enough to buy my own book. Unlike some people.” She gave me a pointed look, and just like that the tiny bit of camaraderie we shared was gone.

Well, I guess it couldn’t last forever...

Still, what does she—

I looked down at the book in my hands, my face turning red and my throat threatening to close at the sight.

Oh no...

Staring back at me was one of my own novels, its paper cover bent. On the cover was a woman in a bikini. An attractive man stood next to her on the beach, his mouth open in a sexy smile...which revealed his long fangs.

No wonder I hated beach titles.

I never wanted to see this book again!

Before I could hide the book beneath the others on the shelf—or better yet, throw it in the trash where it belonged; heck, a fireplace would have been a better choice—a hand clasped onto the book, taking it from me as if it was something precious, not a glued together piece of rubbish.

“Is this one of your stories?” Satsuya hummed as he opened the paperback, eyes scanning a page. Though he had stolen it from me, there was nothing teasing in his tone, merely curiosity.

It was a wonder I didn’t keel over right then and there. “Don’t read it! It’s awful! It belongs in the furnace!” I begged as I lunged for the book, only for Satsuya to step aside, easily evading each of my panic-fueled attempts to hide my literary shame.

Vampire on the Midnight Beach was one of the three novels I had written in an attempt to appeal to the popular market. The other two are as follows, each more horrifying than the last: Werewolf In The Tanning Bed and Demigod At the Nail Salon. The fact that those titles even existed was a stain on my own existence.

But Satsuya wouldn’t give me the book back—worse, he had even read a page of the complete drivel that was contained in it. His eyes curved in amusement behind his glasses as he looked over the page at me. “Come on, Ivy. Even if it’s not your best work, you should be proud of it. Even if you don’t like it, you worked hard, didn’t you? Besides, I’m sure someone enjoyed the story.” He examined the paperback’s spine. “It’s well worn, so obviously someone’s read it.”

Yeah, probably to scorn it.

You could create a drinking game for all of the terrible lines and pathetic tropes in this book.

My shoulders sagged, and I stopped trying to regain the book. “Thanks, but actually you’re wrong. I didn’t work very hard on it. That’s probably why I’m in the mess I’m in. I was just trying to...I don’t know...write something people would approve of?” It hurt to say it, but that stupid blatant honesty of his always made me want to be blatantly honest in return.

At the time I wrote those stories, those kind of characters were in. Books about the supernatural lined the shelves, and I had no doubt they would again; everything worked in cycles, and it all came back eventually. I had committed the sin of writing something I didn’t really care about, and the resulting stories were a far cry from the sweet, uptown romances I typically wrote, which made some readers shy away. That wasn’t what had made them the joke of the writing world, though—no, the books were so filled with ‘what everyone wants’ that they fell flat, no life to them.

With the release of those three stories, everyone saw what my parents had seen all along: that Ivy McLaughlan was someone who couldn’t stand on her own two feet, and was desperate for approval.

That was the real reason why I hated that trio of books—they told something about me that I didn’t want told.

“It’s okay, Ivy. We can’t all be perfect all of the time.” These kind yet haughty words came from none other than Yuuki. I nearly jumped from my skin when she grabbed my hand to pull me through the labyrinth of books; she was far faster than I expected, nearly making me trip. “Let’s go find one of your better stories for big brother to see!”

I couldn’t celebrate the sudden return of camaraderie as Satsuya called, “Yuuki, wait for us!” The poor guy had shadowed our every move since we’d ventured out of The Red Bar, practically hugging the four of us together, he was so concerned with what the Conscious might do despite his own words.

The labyrinth of books seemed to swallow us, closing us in as Yuuki shouted, “I promise we’ll be fine! It’s just a bookstore. It’s not that big.” Her voice wavered with determination and frustration both, and if I hadn’t known her better, I might have thought she was silently declaring to protect me, while also making it known she wanted a little space of her own.

My heart suddenly ached for the young girl, who had probably never lived a normal life. Having to hide her powers was tiring enough, but this wasn’t the first time she and her family had run into trouble. According to Mr. Alessi, he’d found the siblings on the street, though I didn’t know the details. Hiding in the shadows, never able to walk without looking over your shoulder—it was an unfair life for a child so young.

And it was about to become even more unfair. Satsuya didn’t seem like the type of person to push his sister aside; I had no doubt she would be part of whatever discussion we ended up having regarding the Conscious. Maybe Yuuki just wanted one last moment to pretend things were even some semblance of normal, to take control in whatever small way she could.

Yuuki pulled me to the back of the store, where red drapes hung over us and frameless candles were lit: the romance section. Surprisingly, there was only one person there.A woman stood in a patterned dress and heels, already absorbed in the book she had plucked from the shelf.

Yuuki tugged me towards said shelf, accidentally sending me stumbling into the woman, who dropped her book to the plush red rug situated on the floor.

“I’m so sorry!” I wriggled my hand from Yuuki’s and bent to pick up the book. When I straightened, handing it to the woman, I was struck by her lovely face; she looked as though she belonged on one of the covers littering these shelves.

“Thank you, dear.” Her tone was as elegant as her black wrap dress, its edges patterned with blue roses. Tinges of blue died her hair as well, its multitude of coiled braids pulled back to form a low ponytail. Her deep brown eyes matched her skin, the soul hidden behind those orbs sharp and intelligent. A smile curved her lips, which were painted an icy blue.

The woman held up the book, and I was surprised to find it was one of mine. “You’re not a bad writer, Ivy McLaughlan.” She praised, an alarm bell going off in my mind as Yuuki grabbed onto my arm. The woman’s eyes narrowed, her smile transforming into something vicious as the air around us shifted, becoming cold. “Hopefully the Conscious doesn’t have to kill you. I’d like to see you continue your work.”

I sucked in a deep breath of the suddenly chilly air and took a step back—or tried to, anyway. But the ice that crawled up my leg wouldn’t allow me to budge.

“Icy Eve.” Yuuki hissed from behind me, just as trapped as I was.