In The Hour of Mercury, On The Day of Guland, the Moon a Crescent:

I woke up late Saturday morning, feeling fresh and restored. No thanks to my lover's efforts.

After everything that had happened over the last week, and feeling a moment of relative calm, I decided it was time to read the cards for the journey ahead.

I crept down and sat in front of the altar to Hekate I had constructed between empty bookshelves in my living room. I had constructed her three-faced image out of a slab of clay that had long since dried. Her features were more rough and vague than I had wanted, but it was the making of the statue that had been important. In loving devotion I had somberly kneaded her faces and pinched the spikes of her crown.

Before her altar I had laid three black candles, which I took the opportunity to light with matches. Beneath the candles I had laid some pieces of obsidian I found among the little artifacts that my dad had collected over the years, and some old ornate keys I had found just checking the nick-nacks at the antique stores I'd often pass by when I went into Northampton. Between these various offerings I kept my personal deck of tarot cards, hoping that my goddess would favor them.

I had chosen Hekate as my matron because she was the ultimate embodiment of magick. She was the face of the primeval goddess of magic that the Egyptians called Heka. She was the threefold goddess of the place where the crossroads met, the avatar of Selene when she restored Dionysus, the pride of Artemis who walks the earth unbesmirched, she is the silence of Persephone in the netherworld. The Chaldean Oracles recognized in Hekate the very embodiment of the neoplatonic oversoul. She is the image of cosmic sympathy, the mind of The One that poured itself forth into individuated reality in order to experience itself, the epicentric point where all lines meet.

But I didn't have the kind of sense of confidence other pagans do that their gods listened- for the moment my devotion to her was just por supuestro. I couldn't feel her presence save in the sorcery I cast in her name.

I poured out the wine into the bowl of the brass goblet I had laid before her: "Goddess Hekate, I offer to you this libation in goodwill!"

I closed my eyes and began to shuffle the tarot cards in my hands as I muttered: "Mistress Hekate, Threefold Goddess, Reflect before me the crossings of my path!"

When I felt ready I staid my fingers and opened my eyes. I drew the first card and laid it out in front of me in the classic 'celtic cross' reading pattern.

The first card I pulled, which represented where I was and the present situation, appeared as a golden nude young man with a cheerful expression on his face burst forth from a caduceus held aloft by a babboon, showering ritual instruments- daggers, wands, goblets, and amulets across a blue sky. It was The Magician. What a cliche!

The second card I pulled, which represented the obstacle that stood in my way, appeared as a great brute clad in spiked armor pressing down great maces, entrapping a trio of hapless victims in a vast cage of interlocking bars. It was the Ten of Wands. 'Oppression'.

The third card I chose, which represented the past of my situation, appeared as a man laying upside down, pinned against the ground with a great boulder, surrounded by six more boulders embedded into the earth to either side of him. Above him looked a great beast holding pins and a hammer with which to bind him. The seven of disks. 'Failure'.

The fourth card I chose, which represented the future was a skeleton slashing a great scythe across a cloud of human figures cast into the air and above a coiled scorpion. It was Death. I wasn't going to make a rookie mistake and take it literally, the death card simply represents change and the end of the cycle. In this spot, the presence of the death card was a positive sign. Still, it's kind of hard to get over the foreboding presence of the cavernous eye-sockets of the grim reaper yawning out in front of you.

The fifth card I chose, which represented the external goal that I sought, appeared as a Minotaur looming amidst a starry sky. To his left a hunter fired arrows up towards a vulture hovering above a man surrounded by two women to the Minotaur's right. The figures all stood upon a pyramid- it's corners three wheels, two black, but the one on the bottom left in red. It was the three of disks. Change.

The sixth card I chose, which represented the internal goal or motivation that I was gravitating towards, appeared as a judge wearing the headdress of Osiris, holding down a sword between the arms of a great scale, upon each equally balanced bowl was rendered the Greek letters "alpha" and "omega"- It was Justice.

The seventh card I chose, which represented the advice for what I should do to succeed or avert disaster, appeared as an open book, between which reclined an old man with a long white beard who held out and inspected an orb of the starry sky in his palm. The book's front cover was a cross pierced in an intersection of six swords, and upon its back was a burning heart constricted by a serpent. Beneath the man floated four geometric shapes of blue, yellow, red, and green, and looking about all of them was the great faceless mother of the night. It was the six of swords. Science.

The eighth card I chose, which represented the external influences that would affect what I was trying to do, appeared as people cast aloft from a collapsing spire, vaporized by a monstrous mouth shooting flame. To the structure's left circled a dove and to its right roared a serpent with the head of a lion. Above it all cast down a great watchful red eye. It was The Tower. Unquestionably the nastiest card in the deck, but what did it mean that it should hang over the path ahead? Bad news.

The ninth card I chose, which represented the hopes and fears that I had, appeared as a great horned three-eyed goat, who reigned over two spheres of figures trapped in bondage. It was The Devil. I guessed this draw was probably literal, but I also considered that the devil in this case also might imply some fixation on materialism or falling into some kind of temptation...

When I pulled the tenth and final card, which represented the outcome of the whole shebang, a soft smile spread across my face. On the card was a king and queen bound together by wrapped hands, foremost among unified pairs of a black and white child, a red lion and white eagle, all atop a serpent-entwined egg. Above the couples floated a Cupid, his weapon poised. I had chosen The Lovers, Maybe I had reason to be optimistic after all.