We watched the storm together in awkward silence. Lightning struck right in front of us, startling me. Arsamira looked at me with those innocent eyes of his, a slight smile - almost mocking.

He placed a hand on my shoulder, the foreign warmth messing me up. I didn’t have the will to brush it off nor to complain. I pretended to be lost in thought, almost meditating.

Under the forceful disaster, the beauty of the storm, the world continued falling apart.

Minutes went by in a deafening struggle, flowers and bushes grasping the soil, holding themselves against the unprecedented chaos. In-between the raindrop bullets, a little critter approached my feet. A wet mop. The same squirrely-rat I fed a magdalena to. I couldn’t imagine another critter as irreverent as that one, climbing up my clothes and sitting in my hands as I held it in surprise.

‘Tas to’o mojao’

- “What… What’s that thing, Von?”

- “I don’t know what these are called?”

- “Ah- A sansa.”

- “Alright, it’s a sansa.”

He looked like he wanted to say something, but I ignored him and tried to dry off the sansa. It was trembling from the cold, so I started blowing some air onto its face to warm it up a little.

- “I’ll be going in, then. The furball is cold, I need to dry it.”

- “But- Ah, yes, Renime is waiting for me. If you need anything-”

- “Bye.”

And I left before he could stop me. I hope he didn’t notice – how fast I was walking, the irregular breathing, how I couldn’t stop trembling. I think I held it together pretty well.

The sansa snuggled against me while I looked for the way to my room. In the dark, I got lost here and there. After I turned up for the third time at the bottom of the stairs that led to the kitchen, a butler asked me if I was lost, and guided me to the corridor my room was in - relief washing over me as I saw Kio in front of my door. I kept the sansa hidden inside my sweater just in case either of them would complain. And the sansa purred, for some reason. I had no idea they could purr-. A short hi to Kio, and I walked inside like a stiff puppet.

The critter was a fluffy ball with a long, hairy tail, and long front teeth. It had brown fur with white dots here and there, and little grabby raccoon hands. Its big ol’ eyes stared at me for a second before it jumped onto my bed.

- “¿No estás siendo muy confianzudo, oye?”

It dug itself underneath my pillows, the irreverent furball. It laid there, sleeping comfortably. The room was warm enough, so I didn’t worry. I left my sweater over it and put something else on. There was this really cute robe-of-sorts that felt like a fluffy winter coat, yet looked like a mage’s cape. It was just the perfect time to indulge in its warmth – despite it being too big for me. All wrapped up and ready to go.

- “Sir?” – Asked Kio as I was leaving the room. – “Everything okay?”

- “Yes, yes- Ah, don’t let anyone in my room until I’m back! No one!”

- “…But Loe has to come late-”

- “No one! It’s an order.”

- “M-May I know the reason?”

I hesitated for a long time, staring at his eyes.

- “…Ibroughtinasansa.”

- “What?”

- “I brought in a sansa! The one we saw in the garden the other time! The storm is really cold and… stormy, so he climbed onto me. And… I brought it inside, I couldn’t leave it there.”

- “But sir, you don’t know if that thing carries any disease!”

- “Arsamira saw me bring it in! So it’s fine! I just don’t want anyone to chase it away.”

- “…S-Sir.”

- “What?”

- “…Nothing.” – He laughed. – “I’ll make sure no one enters your room, then. And, sir-”

- “Hm?”

- ‘Thanks for telling me.’

- “What?”

- “Oh, nothing. But when are you coming back? I can wait, but it’s around time for me to head to bed.”

- “Ah-… Right. I probably won’t be back until midnight... Actually, no, later… You can sleep in my room if you’d like.”

- “I wouldn’t! I will wait for you here, sir. I will manage. Just be careful, the palace seems to grow at night, it’s really easy to get lost.”

- “I noticed. But really, if I take too long, you can sleep here, okay? It’s no trouble.”

After a few seconds of Kio’s facial muscles failing to work properly, he bowed.

I headed towards the apothecary. Or tried to.

Once again I was in front of the stairs to the kitchen. But after some turnarounds I saw the gleam of light passing through a glass door – something only the apothecary seemed to have.

Bells announced my arrival as I opened the door. Gotoi, the bird niwe, greeted me with tired eyes and dirty feathers. The princess showed up soon after - her hair up in a bun, gloves covered in soil. They were both wearing raincoats of sorts.

The apothecary was a bit of a mess, potted plants claiming the tables, and mud all over the floor. There was also some broken glass in a bag, and some small puddles on the floor.

- “Sir! Good weather we hold, don’t we? Sorry you have to see the shop like this, but the storm broke one of the windows in the greenhouse!”

- “Ah, don’t worry Princess- Is there anything I can help with?”

Gotoi placed a potted plant on the table, right in front of me, and talked with a tired and feisty tone. His beak barely moved when he talked.

- “We already covered the hole and moved the pots inside, so we are basically done. I’ll prepare some tea.”

- “Ah! I can do it- You two rest!” - I took off my cozy jacket and left it on a chair. – “Put this on if you feel cold, okay?”

- “May I, princess? My feathers are wet.”

- “Sure, Gotoi. I’ll help sir Von with the tea.”

So, Gotoi took off his raincoat and put on the fluffy cape. His feathers puffed up, mostly the ones on his head, so he looked like a startled hen. His feathers were of a pale, cocoa brown - but under the light of the candles, they seemed to be a bright, shining red.

Warmed up with tea, and the storm outside still strong, we talked about silly things to calm down. Mostly about the prince, the silliest thing of all. The princess kept complaining about him to me.

- “I can’t handle him at times! When he was young, he would bother whatever servant had the misfortune of being the newest, just to get a reaction - like a spoiled child! I always would go around apologizing for him! And he also stole sweets from the kitchen at night! And I’m not really convinced he has stopped doing it!”

- “And he doesn’t like to be told what to do at all. It’s really hard to give him medicine like that.” – Gotoi added.

- “Unless you are the captain! Tito Hae raised him pretty much, but he spoiled him rotten when he was little!”

- “But, Princess, you were also spoiled by your uncle.”

- “Tito Arlo doesn’t count, he’s too strict… I’m thankful for his advice, but!”

- “I’m surprised at how lively you are.” – I laughed. – “It makes me glad.”

- “A-Ah- Am I? I apologize if that’s-”

- “No, no, princess, is fine. I would be worried if someone so young lived life seriously.”

- “He’s right, princess. You’ll get old soon if you keep frowning so much.” – The way Gotoi laughed was incredibly weird, yet charming in its own way. It was between a squawk and a sizzle.

- “I’d rather get old soon if it means I’m doing my job right!”

- “Calm down, your Latrei is showing.”

- “…Wait.” – I did the math in my head. – “Arlo… So siblings, they were siblings after all.”

- “Ye- Oh. Oh dear. Oh dear, what do I do now-. You are not supposed to-. Oh dear.” – The princess covered her face in shame. – “Sir Von, you promise to keep the secret? Please?”

- “..What? What’s the matter?”

- “Oh, well, it’s… People outside the royal family aren’t supposed to know.”

- “I didn’t know it was a secret that the queen and the count were related.”

- “Wait- So you did know!?”

- “I just assumed; they look similar. The vibe and all.”

- “Oh-… I guess? Yes, but… Oh dear, I’m… I didn’t notice. Talking to you feels too natural. I… It’s my mistake.”

- “So… What’s the problem?”

- “The Count… is the illegitimate son of my grandmother. Our mother welcomed him into the family anyways. My father wasn’t really fond of him, but the Count was always there for us. Now he’s officially part of the family, since he married my sister.”

- “Wait- Waiwaiwait-. Latrei is married?”

- “Ah, huh, yes.”

- “To his niece????”

- “T-That’s why it’s a secret-. They didn’t get married to be together, it was because my sister wanted to resign from the right to the throne. Please don’t think badly of him! They don’t have that type of relationship!”

- “…So they are business partners, of sorts?”

- “Yes! Exactly! You get it.”

- “I don’t think I could expect anything else of him. He doesn’t seem to do anything but work.”

- “Right? I aspire to be like him.”

- “Well, princess, if that’s the case, you are doing extremely well. Just remember to not overwork yourself.”

The princess giggled a little.

- “Foebi is fine. For someone who had to leave- sorry- was taken from all they had, if anything, it’s my worry that you don’t get burnout. How is life here, now that it has been a few weeks?”

- “I’m still not really used to being so spoiled. Loe takes such good care of me, I feel bad not being able to help her. And then there is Kio, and Daien, and everyone… It feels like I don’t deserve to be treated this well. I haven’t done anything yet to deserve it. But I will make sure to earn it.”

Gotoi served us another cup of tea, huddled inside the coat in silence.

- “The trust we put in you is not unjustified, sir.” – The princess took my hand. – “Even if it’s because of Mister Io’s influence, you have inspired people enough by just being here. That’s more than enough.”

- “…But have I really?”

- “Maybe you simply haven’t noticed.”

- “I just don’t think ‘inspired’ is the right word- Ah. Can I ask something?”

- “You already asked something, right there.” – Said the sneaky bird while drinking tea. I looked down.

- “My, Gotoi, don’t be mean. What is it, sir- Oh, can I call you just Von?”

- “Please do. Uh. Well… I wanted to ask if you knew about someone called Koen.”

The princess took a long sip of tea. A really long sip. Her friendly expression changed ever so slightly – just a little, just enough to seem less alive than normal.

- “Koen, yes. I’ve heard that name. Is this related to the kidnapping attempt?”

- “Y-Yes.”

- “I will look into it. You don’t need to tell me anything else.”

- “A-Are you sure?”

- “Why, yes. The name is enough.”

Gotoi suddenly got up, smiling at us - kind of.

- “Why don’t we talk about something nicer, then? Like the spices you asked us to look for.” – He put the coat over my shoulders – and I expected it to be wet, but instead it was strangely warm and dry. Cozy.

He brought in a tray of little pots filled with powdered spices. Some were green, some brown - there were blue, red, and golden ones too. The princess stood in front of me with a little spoon, as if we were to eat the mountains of powder.

- “So, let me see… This is a variety of zafra, so it’s spicy. This one is luluma - more of a mild, earthy flavor.” - She kept pointing at them with the spoon, and I kept waiting for her to scoop a little for me to eat. - “This other one is kosko; it’s normally drunk as a tea, but also used as a spice. And this one here - I think this would be the closest to what you are looking for? It’s bayal, an especially sweet spice from the skin of bai cane.” - In the end, I didn’t eat no spice.

- “Hmm, the smell is somewhat similar. And that one?” – I pointed to a warm green powder.

- “Ah, anaris. I wasn’t too sure about it, but it still fits. It’s mostly used for liquors, but I’ve even seen it used as garnish in the southern region, since they prefer strong flavors.”

- “Uhm… And this other one? The yellow one.”

- “Pilanta! The flower of this one is really good for stomach aches. Pretty much every part can be used, the roots are delicious pickled- it’s from the lands of Helan, so it stands strong against the harshest cold! It’s a tad expensive, though-...”

- “Huh, to say- Isn’t the market here closed to outsiders…?”

- “Yes, it isn’t available to civilians.”

- “So it’s either grown here or it arrived through illegal methods.”

- “Not quite.”

- “So… It’s smuggled?”

- “Indeed. We have favored the arrival of foreigners these last four years to hide the presence of the growing foreign market from the common folk.”

The princess didn’t hesitate in her statement.

- “Isn’t that- uh- pretty fishy and corrupt?”

- “Is not corrupt, there is no obligation for us to share such information, no law to abide in that sense. As long as it doesn’t damage the economy of the kingdom, it’s not really important. To start, only those of noble status have the money to make use of it. We are just trying a new system for the good of our people.”

- “Princess, isn’t that snitching on every other noble family?” – Whispered Gotoi, not really caring much about it.

- “Sir Von has no reasons to do anything about it, and nothing to gain from that either. If anything, sir - were you in the case of making use of it, feel free to come to me with your requests.”

- “Ah, yes, thank you. Wait- Wait. Does Latrei also accept this?” – I tried to sound as calm as possible in my bewilderment.

- “While he doesn’t make use of it, he isn’t against its existence. It’s a first step towards opening our borders, legally, to commercial trade. The first in at least a hundred years.”

- “So, the coin has been circulating internally- for a hundred years.”

- ”Indeed, so we can’t ensure that civilians would be ready for such a change.”

- “But the nur is almost useless to foreign markets. Where does the money of the nobles come from?”

- “Well- treasurer Sheqipi would be glad to explain it to you if you’d want to. He’s one of the few members of the Court that lives in the castle, so feel free to visit him when you have time.”

- “Y-Yes. I think I’ll do that- Can we- Back to the spices?” -

- “Surely. What do you think about it?”

- “Pilanta… It’s pretty close to cinnamon. It has that kind of... red smell. Is it alright if I save a bit for later?”

- “Please do. I have some new saplings growing - they will definitely survive the threat of the storm, so I’m not worried.”

- “Thank you. If- If there is any help I can provide, uh-”

- “You are already doing quite a lot, sir. There is no need to worry about that.”

- “Ah, uh... Uh. I will be leaving, then. It’s already pretty late.”

- ”Take care on your way back, the castle can be quite scary at night.”

The princess waved at me while serving herself another cup of tea, and Gotoi walked me to the door and nodded goodbye.

After I left, I heard the rattle of people moving things and mopping floors. I gulped - and sped up my pace.

The midnight dark - it conquered the arches and walls, it ate the paintings and the plants, it silenced the carpets and pillars. As lanterns dripped down to nothingness, as the fire died with a gasp, I found myself walking in the eternity of a dream. Every fearful step resonated across the waves of its nocturnal breathing.

Falling prey to my own echo, I ran from the empty shadow of my memory of back home. Back home?

I saw the trail to its illusion more than twice in the dark.

I was sure to not follow.

As if the walls had eyes, as if the paintings chased me around, I twisted and circled around the corners of the hidden dark - hoping to meet Kio’s warm presence in the next turn. The stairs to the kitchen, now obscured by the weight of the night and the storm, welcomed me in a mocking tone. I had gotten lost again and again, only to end up at the very same spot.

But when the abyss laughs at you, you laugh back at it.

With an idea in mind and tired eyes in my skull, I apologized to Kio in silence and stepped towards the kitchen.