Jodi Walker (Earth):

I changed the Channel on the TV with my remote, “Come one Izzy, why can’t you tell me what my brother is doing? “

The unbelievably charming old native man held up two wrinkled brown fingers “One, I don’t know. Three, what fun would it be If I did tell you?”

“You forgot two” I said, smiling at him, knowing exactly where things are going.

“Two more episodes of Firefly?”

“I told you, there is only one season, if we watch more than one a day, we’ll be all extra depressed when it’s over.”

“That’s why I got you a medical Marijuana card too, a little smoke and some chips and we will not care.”

“But my brother doesn’t want me to smoke.”

“If Cancer and Chronic Glaucoma aren’t a good reason for smoking pot what is?” Izzy teased me back.

“You don’t -have- chronic glaucoma, Izzy.”

“That’s not what my card says,” Izzy whips out his medical marijuana card, look, right here “Chronic Glaucoma”” in a terrible stereotypical India Indian accent.

“You just had it say that so all the cops have to say “Chronic” to you after they check it.” I laugh at the old man. “And you’re not that kind of Indian, so cut the accent out.”

Back in his normal accent, part bad move Indian from the 50s and part Marlboro man, “True, True, I do find that shit hilarious. I seem to remember a certain 25-year-old girl Giggling her ass off, last time too…” said the man, his eyes twinkling like diamonds. “Besides, aren’t you feeling much better since we started doing the old medicine? What native medicine is older than Chronic?”

“Izzy, Marijuana comes from East Asia, not America.

Izzy laughed back, “So do the Native Americans, according to the latest science, so it’s still our sacred weed!”

I laughed at the man, I really was feeling much better since he started his rituals. “I’ll smoke when I’m all better, using a medical marijuana card for a condition you actually have is bad luck, you said that.”

Izzy acts pretend affronted “I said it was Bad Ass Medicine, not bad luck!”

“Same, Same, want to watch Mando instead?” I countered.

“Okay, but after that, Martin and Lewis, or The Three Stooges, Laughter is good medicine.”

“Deal!” I say, laughing as I change the channel. I miss my brother and I worry about him, but he was right, Izzy is a lot of fun, and a total pothead.

Getting a bit more serious, I say, “You know, I looked you up, you parents are evil naming you after a guy who got his name changed from White Eagle, to Wolfs Vagina, just for losing a battle.”

“It's a traditional name with a lot of important lessons to teach.”

“Oh yeah, like what?”

“Don’t lead your people and lose or they’ll change your name to wolf pussy?” Izzy asked.

----

Sharon Lee, Executive Assistant to Carol Ann Beisler:

I blearily packed up my things, getting ready to head out for the day. Once again, I was the last one out. I shut things down and locked up. It was past 9 and the eateries on my route home were all closed. Tiredly I turned from the now locked door, to trudge my way to the train home for far too few hours’ sleep. I heaved my heavy bag over my shoulder, and made my way to the train station. I managed to catch the last train back to the junior clerical housing complex where I live. As I settled myself on the dingy bench, A neatly dressed grey haired woman hopped into the cabin and sat across from me her face a kindly smile. After we were clattering down the track, the woman introduced herself, her eyes twinkling mischievously.

“Hello, Sharon, I’m Agatha Orebite, from the Onboarding Department. I’m afraid I’ve made a bit of a mess of things for you. You are Sharon Lee, yes, Executive Assistant to the head of the Recruitment and Training Department?”

A cold shiver of adrenaline went through me at her words. Suddenly I was as awake and sharp as if I’d had a dozen coffees. If this woman was as successful against Carol Ann as it seemed, she was someone to treat carefully. People with that much power could ruin me without even trying.

Taking a deep breath, hating to even say it out loud, I replied in a flat voice, devoid of any pitch changes, “Yes, I am, and I’m afraid, shit still rolls downhill, Ms. Orebite. So yes. I’ve been picking up what you’ve been putting down on Carol Ann Beisler lately.”

“I’m sorry you are down stream of that woman, call me Agatha, Sharon, and I think I can help you. I’ve known Carol Ann Beisler since we were new trainees together. I have a pretty good feeling how life has been for you working for her. How’d you like to get out of her claws all together? I can bring you over to Onboarding with me. I can’t promise an executive assistant job, I’m afraid, but I can bring you over as a Senior On-Boarding Specialist 2, directly under me. Before you ask, that’s a lateral transfer, no pay raise, no pay cut, But no Carol Ann either. If you are one tenth as good as your record pre Carol Ann shows, you’ll be earning glowing recommendations from me in no time. In 6 months, tops, you will qualify to laterally transfer back to an executive assistant job, when one comes available. That is assuming that’s still your goal? I can’t promise anything, but I have some friends up in the Suit levels, and I’ll pull any strings I can for you. Worst case, I promise to plug you into the gossip network well enough to avoid working for a boss like Carol Ann again. Believe it or not there are actually worse out there, though not many”. The woman help up 2 fingers, indicating how few they were.

Desperately trying to squash the flickers of hope that kindled in my chest at that idea, I asked “And what do you want in return, my Soul?”

“Nothing so dramatic. We only want 3 things from you. 1. We need to prove Carol Ann took that Walker boys Tome of Magic. 2. We want you to speak truthfully, if we can get an inquest going into Carol Ann’s latest screwups. Lastly, we’d like to recover the Tome, but that’s not conditional to the deal. I can’t promise we’ll get an inquest off the ground. She’s plugged into the suit network herself and a big fan of leverage. But I can prevent her from giving you another review after the transfer. If you’ve seen the exit review she gave her last half dozen assistants, you know what a gift that is.”

“Oh, I have Agatha, she made me file the paperwork my first day, to make 100% sure I saw it. Doesn’t seem to have ruined Brenda’s career though. Pissed Carol Ann off to no end, I tell you, when she got picked back up. Was she one of yours?”

“No Dear, she was picked up by a friend of mine, Head the Engineering Department, Michael Urgos. He knew his assistant was retiring soon. Moved Brenda in as her assistant to learn the ropes. Carol Ann thought it was a demotion, so she approved it wholeheartedly out of spite. I’m afraid we can’t pull that exact same caper with you, she’s wise to in now. I need to be 100% honest, whether we get an inquest or not, working for me, will make you her enemy. You see, back in the day, we were tilting our caps at the same fella, and Carol Ann -Never- forgives anyone who goes against her, double so for crossing her personally as I did. Needless to say, I’ve gone against her a dozen times since then.”

Musingly I said, “How’d that turn out? Near as I can tell, Carol Ann never caught any one man long term.”

The older woman, Agatha screwed her mouth up and said, “The fellah in question was frankly repulsed by her. This was despite Carol Ann being quite the looker back in the day. I can see from your face you don’t believe that, but I swear it was true. Carol Ann never let the fact that the man she wanted was fleeing stop her before, mind you. As most things around Carol Ann do, it turned out badly for all involved. Though things might be looking a little less grimly of late, too early to tell.” She finished with a small private smile, eyes soft.

“That certainly sounds like her.” I considered my options, if there was a safe way out, I wanted it. I needed to find out how safe this option really was. ”Okay what exactly do you need me to do about the tome?”

“In concept that’s simple. Find the tome. Carol Ann will have hidden it near to her office. She’s too crafty to put it in her house, and she loves gloating too much to let it be far from her. My guess is it’s somewhere in the training department. Watch her behavior see if she’ll give it away. If you do find it, use your phone, Film finding it. If you think you can get out with it, put on gloves and put the Tome in a plastic bag and seal it. Film all of that as well. We’ll want forensics to get evidence for it if we really want to burn her. Lastly, get out of there, and don’t plan to ever go back. Find a safe place to make camp, don’t go home. Once you are safe, contact me at this number. “At that point Agatha handed me a card for a cleaning service, with a number written on the back. “That will be a burner phone, so it can’t be tracked back to either of us. If you need me to get in contact with you, call to schedule a cleaning. If you need us to come get you, request an urgent or emergency cleaning. If it’s a desperate emergency dial 0 for the operator and it will ring through to me directly. Just In case here is a prepaid burner phone for you as well, so that the calls will not show up where Carol Ann can see them.”

“Carol Ann is monitoring my phone calls?” I said frozen, my mouth agape.

The older woman smiled sadly at me, “That and more, how do you think an incompetent like Carol Ann Beisler got into middle management? She’s not particularly smart, but she’s willing to be 100% ruthless and bend or break any rule that gets in her way. Back in the day, she was also trying to sleep her way to the top, as I said, she was quite the looker. It worked, until her targets didn’t have a use to her anymore and her natural birth control personality came out to play. Every time she went up the ladder, she’d quickly get a lateral or upward move out of whatever department she landed in. Honestly it was a bizarrely successful strategy, by the time her claws came out, most were willing to sweeten the deal to get rid of her. It’s a mystery to me why men kept falling for it, once they’d known how it went for others, but they did, and well past when her looks first began to fade. Men are just incomprehensibly naïve sometimes I guess.

I caught her eyes in sympathetic agreement and then looked up and off into space, brows knitting together considering my options. It was mostly for show, at this point I’d take any chance to get out that looked halfway safe. “I’m in, I’ll do it. I think I might even know where the Tome is hidden. Not 100%, sure, but a solid maybe. Please get things set up to pull me out quickly, just in case. Once the Tome is gone, she’ll know it’s me. I’m the only other one to a key to her office.”

Agatha’s eye brows rose high on her forehead, “You really think she was dumb enough to keep it there?

I felt my posture slowly straightening, and looked firmly into Agatha Orebite’s eyes.

For the first time Agatha could see the girl pictured in Sharon’s file in the woman before her.

In a much firmer tone, I continued, “She doesn’t stay at work late enough to hide it anyplace else in the office. At 5:01 she’s out the door, leaving us to keep working for hours yet. If I can get it tonight, can I get one more thing? Actually, a couple more things”

“What’s that?” asked Agatha,

“I’ll need a pickup and a ride tonight. After that I’d like to disappear for a bit, preferably two days in a spa, and maybe a makeover. Do you have any idea how much work it is trying to look worse than Carol Ann? It’ll take that long just to relax, just to unhunch my shoulders, and straighten my spine again. I have no idea how long it will take to unfold my personality from the origami coward I had to make of it just to keep my job.”

Agatha tossed her head back and laughed a deep laugh from her belly “HA! I bet. I can’t promise it will be paid, but I can get you a 4-day weekend at the Spa in the House of Cryptids, and a makeover as well. If it were in my power, I’d love to put you in the Spa at Deities’ Rest, but I don’t have that much pull. As to a makeover, I can’t promise a big name, but they’ll have impeccable taste. I just might be able to pull a couple quality outfits too, but let me see before I promise that.” Agatha stuck out her hand. “You in?”

A huge smile burst out of my face, my first real smile in a dozen months. “You have GOT to be kidding me.” I grabbed her hand firmly and shook. “I’ve been drooling over that spa for years in magazines. Nobody below Senior Executives can even get a reservation there, I’m sold on that alone. You get me out, and all the rest, and I’m your girl.”

Agatha smiled at the younger woman warmly, “You can count on me. Do me a favor though, nice as it is to see you feeling prime again, be quiet, careful and calm. If you can’t get out tonight, don’t change your behavior at all. Carol Ann is many things, but given half a chance, she can smell a rat. It’s part of how she’s gotten so far. Don’t unfold yourself out of the box you built to keep Carol Ann Off your back just yet. Not till you have it and are out and safe. Dial Zero and we’ll come a running, I’ll have a car nearby your office just in case.”