He was stuck. Something had struck the tent, something big, and knocked him off balance. His foot was tangled in something and he couldn't get it free. People were screaming.

Smoke. He could smell smoke.

Was that Crow? He looked down and tried to speak but the words were lost.

His foot hurt.

A loud sound of something screaming, then nothing.

-----------

Snow awoke with a gasp, sitting straight up and grasping the side of the couch in tightly fisted hands. He winced automatically, waiting for the pain in his foot to come rushing back to him -- but it didn't. He moved it a little. It felt completely normal.

Frowning, he looked away from his foot and to the unfamiliar surroundings around him. This wasn't the tent he knew, nor was it the little wooden room on the cart in which he spent the rest of his time. This was somewhere he had never seen before. But as he looked around the room, he caught sight of something that was familiar and his eyes brightened.

Crow.

"Crow! I--"

He never got the chance to finish his sentence for he found himself wrapped in a hug, so tightly it knocked all the wind out of him, and for a moment he froze. Surprised. But Crow rarely hugged him -- or anyone -- and it was nice, so he hugged him back. And then Crow just kept hugging him to the point where he was starting to get concerned and gently pulled himself free.

"I don't understand what happened. Is something wrong? How did I get here? What happened earlier? Where's La?"

'And why', he thought, though he didn't voice this, 'are your eyes so red?'

Crow smiled at him and leaned over to ruffle his hand through Snow's hair, just like he used to do when they were younger. "We thought you were injured but I pulled you out of the tent just in time. You're fine, Snow, you're going to be all right. Do you hear? You'll be all right."

Snow nodded silently but couldn't help wondering which one of them he was trying to convince with that last bit. Something was very wrong. But what?

Crow paused. The smile faded. Then he spoke again and his voice sounded distant, like his thoughts were somewhere far away from here. "The Wyvern -- you remember when I told you about the Wyvern? The scaly beast that breathes fire and flies, you gotta remember that. It got out and it attacked. Dealt a lotta damage. Had to pull you outta the main tent when it attacked; took you here."

Made sense. Mostly. "Where's 'here', exactly?"

"We're in the Master's tent. He had me bring you here after the other tent 'bout collapsed."

Snow nodded again and swung his legs over the side of the couch, getting up carefully to test his foot. But he was able to put pressure on it with no pain. It must not have been as bad of an injury as he'd originally thought, Snow decided, and put it out of his mind in order to explore the tent around him. Part of him warned against it -- this was the Master's tent, after all -- but he had seen the same tent and the same four walls all his life, and the intrigue of being somewhere new outweighed common sense.

There were a lot of really weird things in here. Snow picked up a little figurine of a horse, mostly red with a blue saddle and decorated with several other bright colors. He smiled at it and set it down, careful to put it back in the exact position where he had picked it up. And then he remembered something and turned around to face Crow.

"You never told me where La was."

Crow stood up. "Sorry. She's out working but she's fine; she survived without gettin' hurt."

Snow nodded in response and then turned back to his exploring, letting the silence draw out between them. He could sense that there was something off about Crow; he knew his brother well enough for that, but he couldn't figure out what it was. So he didn't ask. Crow would often become tight-lipped if someone pushed him too much for answers and it was usually best to just wait and let him speak on his own if he chose to. Besides, he was enjoying looking around.

After a minute or two that way, Crow broke the silence. "It's raining."

"Yes, I can hear it."

"Do you wanna see?"

That made Snow stop and he frowned, but when he looked at Crow, he saw only sincerity in his eyes. He wasn't joking around. He wasn't lying. And that worried Snow more than if he had been.

"You know I can't," he said softly. "Don't you remember when we were kids? I can't let that happen again."

"Yeah, I remember." There was a break in Crow's voice when he spoke. Forgetting all about what had just been so new and exciting to him mere moments ago, Snow stepped over to him and waited. Just waited. Crow was trying to speak but he needed a minute to find the words -- and he did find them, though it took a few seconds of struggling with what to say.

"Look, Snow, it don't matter what the Master thinks about it now. He can't do anything worse to me than he's already doing."

"What do you mean?" Crow's tone was making him anxious and he felt his heart beginning to beat faster, the same way it did right before a performance -- only that felt exhilarating, and this? This was just scaring him.

Crow kicked at the edge of one of the fringed rugs on the ground that the Master used to cover the dirt floor. He wouldn't look Snow in the eye. "He's sending me after that beast. Alone. So I don't reckon it matters if you go outside now, he can't do nothin' about it."

Snow's eyes widened. No wonder his brother's eyes had been so red earlier -- he couldn't imagine anything worse than separation from the person he loved most, not even after everything they'd already been through. "Then I'll go with you."

"You--"

'No," Snow interrupted. "I don't care if it's dangerous. I don't care. We can get La and we can all go together or no one goes at all. Isn't that what you've always wanted?"

Crow frowned. "I never said that."

"I could always see it in your face."

Finally, Crow turned to look him in the eyes. There were no tears but his eyes were bloodshot and full of more pain than Snow could understand. He knew it was there, he just didn't know why.

"I wish I could do that, Snow. I tried. But he ain't sending me alone -- at least, not right away. He's sending some men with me for a while 'cause I think he knows that the first thing I'd try to do is get you and La out. They're waiting outside for me right now and I gotta go soon or they'll come in after me. I just want to show you the rain first so I can at least know before I leave that you finally got to see outside like you always wanted."

"Please don't go," Snow whispered. He couldn't wrap his mind around the concept of Crow leaving. He couldn't leave! This was just a bad dream, like the attack on the tent where he thought he had been so badly injured -- only this was worse. He'd gladly have lived that pain over again if it meant Crow could stay.

Crow merely shook his head in response and turned to exit the tent, leaving Snow in there alone to think. For a moment he stood, frozen in disbelief. Both that Crow was leaving -- really leaving, and maybe not even coming back -- and that he was finally going to get to see outside.

Seventeen years. Seventeen years he had been hidden and now, seemingly out of nowhere, that burden of secrecy was being lifted from his shoulders. Yet it was done only to be replaced by a heavier burden and, with a heart full of sorrow, Snow lifted the flap to the tent and stepped outside.

The rain stung against his face. He had never thought he would feel something so cold, so wet, and so foreign. It ran into his eyes until he could barely see through the droplets and into his mouth, and it was cool on his tongue when he opened his mouth to catch it. How... strange. He'd always imagined that rain would be warm.

"It's going to keep getting in your eyes if you keep staring up like that." Crow's voice came to him from the right, sounding a little amused.

Snow didn't move. "The sky... it's huge! And so high up! How far do you have to go to touch the top of it?" He stretched his hand upwards, though he knew he couldn't touch it from the ground.

"You can't touch it. It never ends. It's just... air, but outside. Ain't nothing to hold it in out here."

It never ended. How did something never end? He tried to understand it but he, a boy who had been raised inside of barriers and boundaries his whole life, couldn't quite grasp the concept of something eternal. The trapeze was the closest thing he could get to freedom but this... this was something much freer than that.

Snow wiggled his toes into the earth and, despite everything, laughed. "It feels so strange! Does it always feel like this? I thought you and La said that grass was soft but this is just... slimy, really."

"That's because it's mud. It's wet dirt. Grass is something else kinda like... like leaves from trees, I guess, but pointier..."

That made no sense to Snow. He didn't really mind. Again, he tilted his head back to see the rain and to wonder from where it fell and from how high and, though he strained his eyes, he couldn't see it.

"Crow," he said at length, lowering his head back down, "Run away. Run away, don't go after the Wyvern, and just start a new life somewhere. Then you'll be safe. I know you only ever stayed here for me and you won't have me now, so just go and forget about this place.

'No." Crow spoke with more anger than he had expected and it made him jump. "No, don't you ever ask me to abandon you and La, ya hear me? I won't do it. Not even if I have to hunt down fifty of them Wyverns to get back to you."

"Crow." Someone else spoke and Snow turned, startled. He hadn't realized that there was anyone else around until now and he stared at the redhead with curiosity. The redhead stared back, looking equally curious, and then thrust out a hand. "Hey. My name's Lars."

Snow glanced at the hand, confused. "I'm Snow. What am I supposed to do with your hand?"

Lars dropped his hand. "Aye, I know who you are -- didn't really expect to see you out here, though. Never mind about the hand, it isn't important. Just came to get 'im." He tilted his head in Crow's direction. "I... I don't want to interrupt but the others are getting impatient. I'm sorry, but it's time. I'll go wait with the others but you only got a minute."

He nodded politely to Snow and then turned and walked away, shaking his head.

The moment Lars was gone, Crow pulled Snow into another embrace. This one didn't surprise Snow, not now that he understood what was to happen, and he tried to capture this moment perfectly in his mind so he would never forget it. The rain, cool against his skin. It had long since seeped through his thin and torn performance clothing. The feeling of Crow's arms around him, hugging so tight as neither of them seemed to know what to say in such a moment. And -- worst of all -- that feeling leaving him abruptly as Crow let go and turned and walked away. He didn't look back and within moments, he had vanished into the heavy falling rain and out of sight.

Snow had never felt so empty in his life, nor had he ever felt so alone as he did now. Again, he looked up to the rain and tried to capture that feeling of wonder, but it was gone. "Do you cry, too?" he murmured, blinking through the water that ran into his eyes.

Thunder rumbled loudly in response and a crack of lightning lit up the sky, just for a moment. Snow jumped backward, clinging to one of the tent poles. Light in the sky, just as Crow and La had always told him! He'd heard the thunder before when the storms were particularly loud and angry but had thought surely the light was something made up to entertain him; a story for a child. And yet here it was.

Snow wished he had one of them here to enjoy this moment with.

He was alone.

So terribly alone.

"It's not very friendly, is it?" Again, Snow jumped. People kept showing up when he wasn't expecting them. A bolt of fear went through his heart when he saw it was the Master there -- and yet, what could he do? Crow was gone and the Master couldn't punish him anymore. If there was any comfort in what had just happened, it was that.

"What isn't very friendly?" Snow spoke warily.

The Master gestured upwards with his cane. "The storm, of course. But I am glad to see you here. I had decided it was time to show you outside, to show you the dangers of it and how fortunate you have been to be so protected, and then I come to find out you have saved me the trouble. How convenient. But come, let us get out of the rain. You will stay in my tent for the time being."

Snow stiffened as the Master put his hand on his pale arm to guide him into the tent but did as he was told.

---------------

He didn't sleep that night. Even after the Master had long been asleep, Snow lay on the couch and stared at the ceiling of the tent and studied the patterns of it. It was intricate and luxurious, far more so than the little cart he'd called home for so long, yet he couldn't seem to get comfortable. For hours he lay there, tossing and turning as quietly as he could in order to not wake the Master, but the attempt to sleep was futile and eventually, he gave up.

His thoughts were all of his brother. There was an ache inside that he just couldn't shake; a pain he didn't even know how to describe, and yet it was ever-present in the pit of his stomach. It throbbed like a wound but this was worse than any wound he'd ever had before. This couldn't be bandaged. There was no healing ointment that would soothe this feeling. Nothing could heal this, nothing but having Crow back again, and he lay there thinking about it until he thought it would drive him mad before the sun even had a chance to rise.

At last, Snow shoved the covers aside and tiptoed to the door of the tent. He listened. All seemed peaceful, though it sounded like it was raining harder than ever, and cautiously he shoved open the flap of the tent -- just barely an inch so he could look out. And then he closed it as quickly as he had opened it. Two men were sitting by the door, huddled under a tarp and muttering miserably to each other with steaming drinks in their hands.

Snow returned to the couch and sat down -- not on it but beside it, too used to sitting on floors to be very comfortable anywhere else. Why did he even bother to look out? It wasn't like he could leave.

...Could he?

Snow sat up a little straighter, his mind racing. He used to hear the guards in the main tent complaining about kids slipping underneath the tent, trying to get in for free so they wouldn't have to pay. He never would've attempted it after what had happened to Crow all those years ago but now...

Heart pounding so hard he worried the Master would somehow hear it, Snow crawled as quickly and as quietly as he could to the side of the tent, though at one point he made the mistake of looking back and bumped into one of the tables. The Master mumbled something in his sleep and Snow froze, but several seconds passed and the Master hadn't moved again. He relaxed and moved more carefully all the way to the edge of the tent. It was much muddier over here, thanks to the rain, but he was grateful for it when he discovered he couldn't fit under the tent but he could scoop out a hole in the mud deep enough to allow him to squeeze through, which he did feet first. Halfway out his shirt got caught on the side of the tent but, not caring that these clothes were brand new and clean, Snow ripped it off and wriggled out the rest of the way.

The rain greeted him, much more harshly than it had earlier and Snow suppressed a cough as some of the water went down his throat. Already he was shivering but it didn't matter. All that mattered now was getting past the guards and as far away from here as he could before everyone woke up.

I'm sorry, La, he thought silently. A twinge of guilt went through him when he thought of her but he couldn't let that stop him. Maybe with both of the brothers gone from the circus, she would finally be able to leave too. He hoped so. He never quite understood what kept her from leaving in the first place.

Slipping around the back of the tent, Snow crouched low and moved as quickly and quietly as he could, weaving around the still-standing tents like a snake. The rain was cold and unpleasant but all the same, he was glad of it since it also meant it was difficult for anyone to see him. A few times he nearly ran into someone -- he couldn't tell who they were -- but ducked his head away and no one gave him a second glance.

Snow did not, however, notice that he was being followed for he was too occupied with looking forward to be looking behind. A shadow, quick as could be, stayed but a few paces behind him everywhere he went.

Soon there were fewer and fewer tents and the sightings of other people were more and more infrequent until at last Snow found himself standing surrounded by nothing but trees, nearly ankle-deep in mud, and the most free that he had ever been.