《The Ministry Of Monsters》Terms And Conditions

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Geun let his eyes adjust, not breaking the stare until he had got a good look at his captor/interrogator. He found it curious how while there was a clear family resemblance to her mother, the mother was clearly the more attractive woman. Lyubov had an ordinary face, a toned physique, but not the gorgeous appearance he expected a divine being to have. Certainly a divine comfortable enough with her power to shape flesh as clay could appear as beautiful as she wished.

Further confounding his expectations, the woman was wearing street clothes. A bright pink polo shirt, a pair of jeans, and indoor slippers. He'd expected her to be dressed in a more elaborate kimono than the styles the attendants had been wearing.

He wondered if that apparent humility might help him survive the consequences of being caught trespassing. He dared to ask, "What's going to happen to me now?"

"I saw your conversation with Boon-Broker," she said as she started buttoning up his shirt.

He felt a flash of annoyance but brought his expression back to neutral as fast as he could.

She didn't seem to care and continued, "So what was your mission abort penalty, huh? A fee? Additional free work? Or, uh, does he just sell you out to whoever’s been hunting your family?"

He couldn't help it. He asked, "You're asking instead of taking now?"

With affected annoyance she replied, "Do I look like a dragon? An Eldritch being? I only searched until due diligence was, uh, served."

Geun tugged pointedly at his bindings.

Lyubov gave Geun a toothy goofy grin as she said, "Ah, well, you did try to run."

He muttered in Korean, "Not stupid enough to try to fight."

She murmured back in the same tongue, "Want to see your Yeon again."

Geun, seized by the sick feeling of his heart dropping through his stomach, protested, "She had nothing to do with this."

Lyubov's expression softened as she took stock of Geun's change in body language and she said in Japanese, "I would not harm a child. I only meant it would be, um, ill advised for you to challenge me. Perhaps a fun fight for me, but for you? Futile."

Geun decided to keep his mouth shut again.

Lyubov filled the silence, "Anyway you broke nothing of mine today. So yeah, you were not here with guest-rights, but you still helped the guards and Gennady. You did annoy my mother but if she wants to forgive and forget then, you know, what kind of overbearing daughter would I be to insist on further penalty? Right?" She released the shackles which secured him to the chair. "And, uh, I think mother could relate to your story. Kinda. She also was a single parent, you know?"

He stared at the odd woman before him, rubbing his wrists where the cool steel had bitten, and finally asked, "That's it? I get your mother's forgiveness and you're done with me?"

Her mannerisms became less casual as she soberly considered the question. She spoke crisply, "On a personal level, yes. I hold office though, and the attempted theft against the office, while amusing, is not quite amusing enough that I can totally ignore your crime. Right now the only people who know you tried to rob me are myself, yourself, your associate Boon-Broker, and a handful of people loyal to me."

She leaned over him and worked the lock on the heavy collar on his neck. The jamming device falling away from him was every bit as revelatory as the blindfold being removed. Where Palkin’s body had burned with vitality and energy, Lyubov’s was a crack of lightning, impossible to properly take in before his senses retreated from the attempt.

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He swallowed and rubbed his throat to buy a moment to adjust. He banished the idea of trying to run from her. Given how much she’d just worked over his mind and body in the name of finding the truth, he guessed she could home in on him without much trouble. And she already knew about Boon-Broker’s hidden hotel, so that was it. He could not run, and he could not hide.

He asked, "What do you want me to do?"

She closed the collar and rolled it in her hands. "Usually a caught thief is punished. You have some mitigating circumstances but you still are a thief caught stealing. So, um, I would prefer you alive and able to work off the damages. Killing you is only a benefit to whatever wanted to wipe out your bloodline."

"An indenture then."

"Short in comparison to most, but yes. Technically, yes. I'd like if it were mostly just your wages getting garnished."

Geun blinked carefully at her. "I do not draw a wage from Boon-Broker."

She casually lectured at him, "Of course you do not. He would not pay a regular wage for anything; it is against the nature of the Autumn goblin tribe. Lump sums per completed contract are the only way they are even capable of hiring help."

Geun remained quiet. If she were getting at the point he thought she was getting at, he would be best served letting her make her pitch.

She nodded once during the pause and then said, "Right, to the point: it is a job offer. Palkin was not mistaken when he was being overly helpful. I do need capable people, and I do know just how hard it is to tempt qualified people away from their clans."

Geun protested, "I have outstanding obligations which will be expensive or complicated to tie up."

She still had that crisp edge to her speech. "Maxim Palkin will help you with those. It will be his penance for giving you everything you needed to finish that job of Boon-Broker's."

"I mean no disrespect to Palkin but that is a tall order for a two man team."

She shook her head sharply and said, "Three men and a kitsune, with backing and materiel help from the Ministry itself. Max, Gennady, and Ai will assist you directly. Since you all seem to get along so well together."

“That’s- they’re surely not going to feel like they can trust me.”

She grinned toothily again. “Maybe you will be able to earn some of that back.”

He protested, “I need time to-”

Lyubov interrupted, rudely and deliberately, and said, "You do not have time. Even if you are not going to accept the job offer, I must insist you allow my people to help relocate Yeon."

He fumed, "Now wait just a-"

Lybov placed a fingertip against his lips. They grew sticky and melted together, then smoothed away entirely, leaving him mouthless. He tried to scream in horror, and could only make a muffled noise. Lyubov frowned at him and said, "Shush. Listen. While Boon-Broker is good to the letter of his word, if you fail a mission and Yeon can't benefit from the insurance payout, and neither are you free and able to make good on more work immediately, then you have nothing left to keep paying Boon-Broker's rent with; am I wrong?"

He made a frustrated sound through the thin flesh pressed against his teeth as he tried to think up some argument; tried not to let the visceral fear of his missing mouth overwhelm him.

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Lyubov continued on, "And if that is the case, he will simply sell whatever is in your room. Which includes your cousin, you fool. You are better off if we relocate her here, where she will be safe while you tie up loose ends. Or would you prefer I simply buy the lot when Boon-Broker decides to put it up for bid?"

As soon as she gave him back his lips, he angrily said, “You’ve made your point.”

“I should hope so. Now, are the other outstanding obligations quite so time sensitive?”

“No.”

She stepped to the side of the chair, clearing a space for him to stand. “Then report them to Palkin when you have a moment, and he will determine the next priority.”

He stood. “That’s it then?”

She pressed something into his hand: the battery amulet he’d drained trying to escape the fight, fresh and loaded with energy that had the same radiance as her own. She said, “Go. Back to the garden. You know the way.”

Wordlessly he looped the necklaces over his head and pushed a packet of energy from the charm into his blood. Once again he was in that weird shadowless landscape, directly in front of Palkin and Ai.

The attendant had exchanged her kimono for a rather more casual hoodie and jeans. Beneath the unzipped hoodie was the tell-tale bib of bullet proof armor. Geun eyed her arms and decided she was probably wearing armored sleeves under the hoodie too. She had her hood up and half her face was hidden by mirrored sunglasses. She looked like a delinquent J-Pop performer.

Palkin was also in armor, but there was nothing subtle about his kit. It was a paramilitary getup in black made from tough cloth which contained thick plates along the chest and back; Geun couldn’t tell exactly what they were made of, but they looked like they’d stop anything short of a rocket launcher. There were places where unit patches and identifying insignia could be attached with velcro, but they were left empty.

Palkin said to Geun, “I consider this a learning experience. True, I welcomed an infiltrator into our midst. True, I was slow to recognize the security threats. But the boss likes what she heard about you, after I told what you can do.”

“I guess it’s nice to be liked.” It beat the alternative of being imprisoned.

Gennady again simply slipped himself into the conversation and said, “Palkin argued mightily for you. That if you threw in with us, we would have a powerful ally, and would incidentally deny our antagonists, competitors, and enemies a chance at using you as an asset against us. Well, against us again. You already sexually assaulted the boss’s mother once.”

“She is a very beautiful woman, but that doesn’t excuse such rude behavior,” Ai said.

“It was a case of mistaken identity,” Geun said. It sounded lame even to him.

Gennady folded his arms and said, “The boss gave us a very brief briefing. We’re supposed to help you get your stuff from your hotel room. If the Autumn goblin proprietor Boon-Broker gives us trouble over your unpaid dues we’re to invite him to take it up in person with the boss.”

Geun looked over Gennady’s outfit; it was a more reasonably scaled version of Palkin’s paramilitary armor. The armor plates were thinner, and there were fewer of them. “So you’re meant to be a deterrent.”

Ai said, “Ideally we won’t even talk to him on this operation.”

“He talks to everyone that comes in, and he’s going to want to know why I’m bringing guests back before the job is done.”

Palkin asked, “You have a good excuse prepared?”

“Maybe. Ai, how are you at other forms? Men, women, kids?”

Ai tilted her head and looked over her sunglasses at him, deliberately letting him see her eyes narrow. She clicked her tongue. “So rude to ask.”

Palkin said, “If it is a mission related question, he can ask.”

Ai primly said, “I am versed in multiple humanoid forms. All must be about my present size, though, so because of my height I cannot pretend to be too young. Fifteen is credible; younger is not.”

”Then I do have an excuse we can use, if we can find a tweed suit for Palkin. The only guests I ever have to my room are private teachers and ladies who provide certain personal services.”

They stared at him for a moment. Finally Gennady asked, “You like to have professors lecture you while you fuck whores?”

Geun wished that he could just talk in Korean to them. “What? No. No, I have a kid, a younger cousin; the tutors are for her.”

Ai asked, “Why is it important what I look like? Do you not hire female teachers too?”

“I was thinking you could pretend to be Professor Palkin’s kid.”

Palkin said, “That may get us in. How do we get out?”

“Gennady moves the suitcases out while we kill time, and when he says he’s ready Ai leaves while pretending to throw a fit over some petty teenage misunderstanding. We chase after her like we want to calm her down and go back to the lessons. As soon as we’re all outside we just run to whatever the transportation is. A boat, I guess, since the hotel’s on an island.”

“The Boss arranged a flying boat for us. And you better not have a dozen suitcases for me to haul.”

“Two, we travel light.”

Gennady made a disgruntled grunt. “A steamer trunk to carry your cousin out in too?”

Geun paused. He hadn’t actually thought of smuggling Yeon out but if whatever trick Gennady used to be a sneak would accommodate that, it would simplify things. “That works, if you are up to it.”

“As long as she does not make a fuss it should work.”

Palkin said, “It sounds like a straightforward plan A.”

Ai pulled her hood back, showing how she’d changed her hair color to the same shade of blonde as Palkin. Her skin tone, too, was already lightening up to match his. “I can make myself look like Palkin’s kin. But, teen girls and professors are not armored.”

“If it works no one will be shooting at anyone.”

Ai removed her sunglasses and stuffed them in her pocket. She now had light green eyes, like Palkin’s. “And if it doesn’t work? What kind of security do we have to face?”

Geun said, “Boon-Broker uses ongoing contracts. Many of the people who live in the Hidden Hotel are also obliged to protect it. But as long as I’m just skipping out on the bill and not destroying the place, it’ll be down to whoever he has hired for debt collection today. I’ve done that job a few times if that gives you an idea of what he looks for.”

Palkin said, “So bloodline-mage level, possibly. Do you know anything about the other guests? Any gun users?”

“Maybe. I saw a guy with cowboy pistols once.”

Gennady asked, “Cowboy pistols? Ball and cap?”

Geun shrugged. “I don’t know. They were some kind of revolver.”

Palkin frowned. “Right, I remember you said you’re not a gun guy. Well, plan “B” will be to extract with no damage to the hotel so that we don’t trip anyone else’s contractual obligations to stop us. Can your cousin teleport like you?”

“No.”

Gennady flatly asked, “Why?”

“She was born with stunted magical power. In a normal family she’d have been a branch family member, but she was the clan head’s daughter. So she was around when- when we had to flee.”

Gennady nodded along. It was some sad story, after all. “No mobility or health issues?”

“No, she’s just a normal kid.”

Palkin said, “We’ll bring some defensive amulets for her too then. Okay, Ai and I will go get costumed. Gennady will sign out the things we need from the armory. You will help him. Meet at the boat. And Gennady?”

Gennady had almost slipped away. “What?”

“Do not forget to get the evidence from lock-up. The bag and those rocks.”

“Boss won't let that marble one go, and the flagstone is being kept by Miss Hanmaki.”

Ai commented, “You could ask for counterfeits.”

Geun suddenly felt the urgency that Lyubov had impressed on him. “I thought we were short on time.”

Ai frowned. “It is rocks. A gnome could make the counterfeit, it doesn’t need to pass close scrutiny.”

Palkin nodded. “She is correct. Make the request at the armory. Now, let us meet at the flying boat.”

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