There is no simple way to put it. I died.

I don’t know how and I don’t know why.

I only know that it was a spectacularly hot summer night and I was just going back home after getting some ice-cream. I remember my sweat covered body, the half-melted ice-cream in my hand and the slippers on my feet scratching the concrete underneath. I also remember looking at the shining blue moon and imagining an old goat on a rocking chair knitting a sweater on its surface. I closed my eyes, then, deep in thoughts. My thoughts, at that time, were focused on deciding whether the old goat had a goatee or a French cut.

Hey, it’s my imagination and no matter how weird it is, I’ll stick by it.

On that note, if I wasn’t so engrossed in my thoughts about that goatee (that’s what I decided on in the end), then I would have known the cause of my death.

All in all, the fact doesn’t change. I died. The end…

Or not…

Before coming to my current situation, let me tell you the moral of the story.

Look left, right and front while walking. Don't look up.

Ha ha ha… hah…

Enough of the bad jokes. Even I am feeling sorry about myself now.

The current status then:

Reporting for duty, sir! I have reincarnated as a baby with my memories intact!

*****************************

Reincarnation. A situation out of light novels and mangas. The dream of many otaku’s, both open ones and clotaku’s.

For countless people, this was an ideal situation. A new chance for a better life.

For me, it was a nightmare.

Dear God, I want my money back.

I have not been born in a world of magic and swords. There are no giant mecha’s or elves either.

I have been reborn in the same world, with the same parents, the same body and the same timeline.

When I opened my eyes, imagine my shock when I saw my own parents looming over me. I thought I had been paralyzed with heat stroke or some shit like that. When I felt them carrying me, that’s when I realized I had been reborn. When I heard them naming me, that’s when I realized. I had been reborn as myself, in the same timeline to the same parents.

Fuck you too world.

Now I have to do-over 20 years of my life again.

Just when I had finished my high school and had just one year of college left.

Now I have to study everything all over again.

How boring, how tedious, how annoying.

Again, fuck you world!

*******************************************************

I am 16 years old now. Life is the same as always. No, let me rephrase that. Life is the same as before. Do you get my meaning? The same as before.

Even when I tried to break away from my previous life-time, I was not successful.

At 6 years old, when I tried to act as a genius to get a certain scholarship, I failed to even apply. My application never even made it out of the mailbox. Mysterious.

At 9 years old, even when I knew the answer to every question in my math paper and answered it all correctly, I still got the same marks as before. A failing grade. I remember this event because this was the first time my parents punished me in my previous life. I wanted to avoid it this time. I couldn’t. In this life-time too, this was the first time I got punished by my parents.

At 10 years old, I had come upon a revelation. No matter how much I studied or slacked off, nothing ever changed. My hard-work didn’t matter. My actions didn’t matter. My words didn’t matter. Everything would always stay the same as before. Nothing ever changed.

I gave up. This was the time when the world stopped to matter to me. I had stopped being significant to it a long time ago. Now, I was just reciprocating the feelings I received from the non-existent entity called the world.

At 11 years old, I came upon another revelation. If everything was going to stay the same as before, then I would no doubt get very bored in the next decade when I reached my previous age. I wondered what would happen then. Would I live past then and my existence finally start to matter? Or would I die again and live this life over and over again?

No matter the outcome, the result was inevitable. I would be bored to death before I reached 20 at this rate. So I started to enjoy life. I started to enjoy my own company.

I have to say, my attention span is very less and my own self conscious is an ass-hole of a convo partner. It made for some very interesting conversations and debates that I always lost. I must also specify this, myself is a very good tsukommi partner in real life. I mean, if a real life situation is going to stay the same either way, then I can have fun with it and not have it matter.

For example-

“Son, you are now 12 years old and I and you mother found these magazines under your bed. We think it’s high time to have a talk with you about this.”

“Oh yes, go on. It’s nothing I haven’t heard before.”

“There’s no need to get so defensive son. I know it’s yours and not something your friend forgot here. You are a boy entering puberty, this is only natural.”

“Look dad, what you are holding isn’t-“

“You see, it’s a talk about birds and bees. No need to be so ashamed. My parents had the same talk with me and I know how awkward it feels. I will make it short.”

“Something that makes you feel awkward and is short? I know what you talking about!”

“Let’s take this book as a visual guide. As you can see here, when a guy and a girl-“

“Dad! That is book about painting and you pointing at Mona Lisa.”

“What happens next is-“

“That page has an illustration of The Scream. It really reflects my feelings. Please accept them dad.”

“So what I mean to say is, when the time comes, you must remember to use-“

*raises hands and screams*

As you can see, no matter what book I really placed there, no matter my responses or actions, my parents would go into the same spiel as last time. It was really fun, having my dad point out various famous paintings and then recite a passage about adult copulation endeavors.

Ha ha ha… hah

No, it wasn’t as hilarious as I made it out to be. But it was enough for my amusement deprived mind. There is so little to laugh about that I will take anything that comes. My jaws hurt from laughing too much but there are no laugh lines on my face. Another mystery.

And so, my un-important, same as before life went on till I became 16 years old.

No nothing drastic happened.

It wasn’t Elvis, it wasn’t Gandhi and it wasn’t Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles.

It was nothing big.

It was simply aliens.

******************************************