May

Emily very sick. Vomiting frequently, and complains of nausea. Shows no sign of fever though, which is good, but fear means some more serious disease, one she says she does not fear, and looks up at me with such courage, could not say which of us the stronger one, for fills me with fear.

Could not stand to lose her.

Not now.

Not ever.

Patrick is dead.

Have meant to make this note long time, but could not make the time for it. Fever much worse in town for a while but I believe it is broken now. The Steward has returned to looking over the manor and the other servants, those that survive, have also returned. His sister has moved in to take over for the young wife that he lost, and all begins to feel as it did before, only this damn disease I cannot tell the cause of.

Strange, to feel so much now, and not then.

Patrick.

His notes make feel as though he is next to me, as in our lab. Measuring and injecting and testing, and disposing of it all in the sewer. Journals go back a long way. Some to before university. Cannot read those, but from research, so many memories. Way we skipped about after first success with frog, drunk afterwards. Death was dead, shouting in Oakleys. Throwing flaming mouse out window into old woman’s hat when started electro shock and hiding as old man tackled her to put out. Whe found him in bed surrounded by candles because all mice got loose and couldn’t sleep with crawling all around him. Trying to resurrect little girl’s parrot recovered from trash because seemed a good thing to do.

All the late nights.

All the long talks.

Dreams.

I must be rational. Emotion no use at all. As in research. Notes.

Have attempted reanimation of… refer to as subject.

Have attempted reanimation of subject.

Weight 150 lbs

Gender Male

Species Homo Sapiens, English... Mammal.

Have, in previous experiments, perfected means of reanimating mice, repeated experiments noting the differences that weight, time from death, and manglement impact effectiveness of serum as well as various mixtures for ease of injection.

Used formula number thirty seven from P- Subject’s... fourteenth journal as instructed and prepared by subject before expiration.

Subject expired while was not there.

Found in bed. Could not have been dead long, as spent most of night there, thinking to see him die any time. Blood already nearing coagulation.

Injections of serum made every two inches along major arteries and spine. In previous cases used no more than 6 grams for six injections, One along spine, one at base of skull, and one in each limb to reanimate smaller subjects (mice). Used many many more on subject. Hands bloody by end. Coagulation not quite set in. Left for several hours. May have been too long. Fully set on return. Limbs very stiff, at ideal readiness as determined by previous cases.

No response to initial electro shock. Own fault, was not thinking when applied. Was remembering fight when found out was trying serum on arm after amputation. Used same battery as used for electroshock of mice. Far too small. Switched to largest in lab and much quivering when applied, but still too small.

Pharmacy closed due to fever, and no batteries inside when broke in.

Police tried to detain, until recognized and told them medicine needed for fever patients. Lied. Left alone after that.

Pharmacy closed in Herbertville and Arkham. Obtained, at last, in tool shop, a set of Daniells. Returned perhaps 28 or 30 hours after initial experiment. Smell. Putrefaction begun. Applied all twenty Daniells despite and quivering again, spasmodic twitching of fingers and fluttering of eyelids, but no more. Smoke compelled to stop. Terrible stench, like Bacon. Very terrible. Vomited on front step. Did not go in for long time afterwards.

Last words: Don’t let me die.

Or

Wont let me die. We.

Won’t die.

Can’t remember now. Was so tired when left him last.

Did not weep when I was working. Now.

More detailed notes in last page of subject’s journal, procedure followed exactly. Suggested time table the only change. Could not find a faster horse in bedridden city. Must put this page with it when remember. Moved all his things to manor recently. Sold the mice, the cages, burned the bed linen. Only kept equipment, chemicals, journals.

Must write family, if can find address.

So many dead. Why? Would pray, if was a god. But no god in a wasteland.

Only flesh

And blood

And electricity.

I will use more electricity next time. I will test. Order larger batteries now Pharmacy is open again. Lead batteries will be more effective, but perhaps I will need several , or several types. I must experiment. Must not let subject’s sacrifice be in vain.

Must not forget

Patrick.

My friend.

Fragment A

There are not enough dogs in the world.

I wish I could die, and no one bring me back.

I wish I could get more dogs.

I wish she would stop screaming.

I’m so sorry.

So sorry

So sorry.

Want you back.

Emily.

Why?

What must do?

What can?

So sorry. Sorry sorry srry.

So tired.

Want dogs.

These ones are all dead.

And nothing I do will bring them back.