I don’t want to remember the scene from a few minutes ago. What’s wrong with them? Why would they do such a thing?

Curious, eh? Do you enjoy my misery?

I’m tied to a tree. With my legs broken. Covered in blood. Not mine, though.

What has this world come to be? There’s no explanation for this madness. I know what being hungry is like. There was a time the only thing I had to eat was semen. Terrible memories. But I never sacrificed another person, in no way.

Being hungry and about to die drives you mad. It makes you hate the world. I get it. But no human should kill another in a ritual trying to get food.

Ah, that’s right. I had a dream about this, didn’t I? Though who would have thought that dreaming about babies eating me was a premonition for a village sacrificing me to the monsters and killing their old ones to bathe me in blood.

Can you see why sometimes I prefer death? Good. But I want to live. I do. I, I want happy memories… with a family.

…

I remain there, crying until night.

It’s so cold it makes me think I’ll die before a monster can eat me. I know it won’t happen; I’ve been through worse. But I’m tired. My legs are numb now. I don’t feel the pain.

“Someone! Help! Cough, cough.”

My throat is in pain from the screaming. I doubt someone will rescue me; my hopes vanish as the night continues. The leaves block the sky, preventing me from enjoying the moon. I don’t like to stare at the dark forest, so I close my eyes.

This is the reason I avoid humans. Sometimes they’re wonderful people who won’t fill you with semen during the night and will give you food, a house, and care. And other times, they’re awful bastards.

Who in their right mind, or their insanity, would think that killing someone would benefit their lives? There’s no logic to it. Dying for such a stupid reason makes my blood boil.

Why don’t I free myself? What do you think I’ve been trying all this time? They knew what they were doing. The rope is too tight and won’t allow me to gather strength.

I don’t want to die without accomplishing something. Being so good at sex means nothing for me, that’s a pleasure for other people. I mean, I want to have meaning, a purpose. Who’s Uzziye Bakker, and what did she do for herself? What did she achieve?

I’m just trash with no value. Even if families invite me to their house and let me stay for a while, once I see them as precious people to me, they kick me out. I’ll never know what being happy is like.

I hear a sound. I resist, but I can’t keep my eyes closed. I open them and see what lies before me. A monster with a grotesque appearance. It’s as if the sickness manifested in the world. It has bulges and holes all over its body. Its skin is yellowy with green spots. And there’s a smelly liquid coming out of it.

Even if I want to puke, there’s nothing inside me.

The monster comes closer. The smell makes me dizzy, to the point of thinking I’m hallucinating.

That’s it. This will be my end. If only I could survive this, I’d do my best with my life. I’ll become useful. I’ll be worthy of being loved.

A sensation out of this world travels from my legs to my brain. It makes me want to bite my legs. I squirm on the rope, hoping it will end. I open my mouth to scream, but something goes inside.

The monster puts one of its limbs inside my mouth and pours something inside me.

I scratch the tree and tear off my nails, only for the monster to cover my hands too. This is too much for me. I’m suffocating.

…

I open my eyes and notice I passed out. I’m on the ground. I look around and see my legs and fingers healed. Am I hallucinating? I don’t know.

I try to move my body, but I’m too weak to do it. I stretch a bit at a time.

I’m alive. I’m alive.

“I’m alive! Ahaha. Thank you!”

I pray to the moon for letting me live. I’ll work hard to become someone; to achieve happiness.

Just as I’m thinking about my future, I see another monster approaching. My smile vanishes and despair fills my heart. This monster is three times taller than me. With sickles instead of arms. It has a bulky build, making clear it was created for combat.

I close my eyes, waiting for my death. Even if I had my saber and fought intending to kill this monster, it’s impossible for me.

Mm? I’m not dead yet? Why?

I open one eye. I see more monsters surrounding me. It’s the same type of monster. They come closer and use their sickles to make a cage. They interlock their sickles under me and above me and take me away.

“Hey, where are we going?”

The monsters make crispy sounds that come from my head. It doesn’t feel like they talked. It feels like they’re communicating with my mind. I don’t understand a thing, though.

“Can you let me live? I don’t want to die.”

They ignore me and carry me through the night.