Chapter 8: Infiltration

The gnome hadn’t seen us yet.

Good.

With a leaping bound, I had closed the gap.

A stroke later, its head rolled across the ground.

Strangely enough, the corpse didn’t vanish with a flash of white light.

Mere seconds later the door to the next room opened, and a lizard-humanoid carrying a tray of food appeared.

It stared blankly at the headless corpse on the ground.

A clattering sound was heard as the tray hit the floor and all the bowls shattered, spilling their contents across the ground.

Tears began rolling down the face of the lizard-humanoid.

“I’m free!” it sobbed as it fled for the stairs.

As it reached the stairs, it suddenly froze and clutched its abdomen.

Suddenly, it dropped to a knee, its mouth wide in a soundless scream.

Blood flowed out of its abdomen as parts of its intestines came out.

A tearing sound could be heard as the lizard-humanoid was suddenly turned inside out.

The bright red lump of flesh fell to the ground with a meaty slap.

What just happened?

「Not quite sure… Should we investigate? 」

Fuck that, don’t get near the thing. Use a chicken.

I walked over with a chicken puppet to survey the damage.

The madly twitching mess on the ground quickly created a small pool of blood which seemed to seep into the ground.

Not even ten seconds later, the blood had been completely absorbed by the ground, leaving only a pink, fleshy carcass.

What? We just walked down those stairs, so that rules out a trap…

Could it be that we’ve been discovered? If someone with the power to do that to a humanoid discovered us, I don’t think there’s much hope for us.

“Are we trapped in here?” Karl broke the silence.

“Good question.”

I sent the chicken to the stairs.

The chicken set foot on the staircase and suddenly froze.

A hole appeared in the chicken as it went through the inversion process.

「These chickens are super realistic. Flesh golems are super weird.」

Same.

Apparently, golems made of flesh are a thing.

「Does that mean that a human’s body can potentially be nothing but a golem created by nature? 」

Self-replicating golems? That’s an interesting concept.

I’m a golem, you’re a golem. We’re all golems!

I think, therefore I’m a golem.

「Not sure that’s what Descartes meant…」

The chicken completed the inversion process, and seconds later, an inside out chicken fell to the ground with a meaty slap.

Rest in peace, chicken.

“Well. Looks like we’re stuck in here,” I confirmed with Karl.

「Executing optimized mana recovery protocol.」

With a flash of white light, the chicken vanished.

Using mechanized protocols to do boring stuff is great. No mistakes and maximum efficiency. ‘Creativity’ is overrated.

Meanwhile, I recovered a small amount of mana.

Sadly, I can only recover mana from my own dead puppets. If I can figure out how to get this to work on the dying dungeon monsters, I’ll have a more reliable way to recover mana.

Karl’s face became exceedingly ugly to behold.

“I really hope that there’s another way out of here…”

“Don’t worry, if we keep going, we should be able to find a way to get out of here,” I reassured him.

“A trap that I haven’t seen before either. I’ve read at least an entire chapter of a guide before coming. There were falling rocks, spikes, poison gas, arrows… but no stairs of death,” Karl remarked. “This can’t be normal.”

“You know what they say, the bigger the risk, the bigger the reward! ... Usually.”

I got a blank stare from Karl.

Alrighty, we’ve got a potato, a few chickens and assorted puppets and myself. How do we escape?

「What potato? Am I missing something, here?」

I stared at Karl.

「Oh, makes sense.」

“First thing’s first, though. Burn that body,” I said, pointing at the headless gnome.

Karl looked at me helplessly. “I don’t know any elemental-type spells.”

Sighing, I dragged the body into the corner.

That’ll have to do.

Hopefully, they’ll overlook the body. And the splattered food.

“Let’s do some scouting to gather information,” I suggested.

Karl nodded in assent and our party of six proceeded quietly, tailed by four chickens.

I picked up on the faint sound of footsteps in the distance so I quickly signaled for Karl to stop.

Sure enough, there were two gnomes patrolling.

This is a golden opportunity. They can be captured for interrogation.

I signaled for Karl to stay, while a group consisting of me and three other puppets snuck up behind the patrollers.

We moved forward silently and put them both into blood chokes while two others took their swords from them.

Seconds later, they stopped resisting and making noises.

Too easy.

“What’d you find there?” Karl asked curiously.

“A way out.” I smiled contentedly at the two bodies being dragged across the ground.

The two gnomes were brought back to the staircase room.

“Hello there,” I said jubilantly.

The two gnomes stared at me groggily before jumping up in anger.

“As you’ve probably guessed, I’ve brought you two here for a reason.”

They looked at each other, and then at me again confusedly.

“That reason,” I continued, “is to lower the defenses on the stairs and let us out.”

The one on the left smiled wickedly.

“You want to run?” the gnome laughed. “You can never escape the sacrificial mines. You’re doomed.”

I just smiled.

“Deactivate the mechanism. You have ten seconds.”

The gnome stared at me, not quite comprehending.

“Are you ordering me? You can’t tell me what to do!” it cried indignantly.

I shrugged and picked the gnome up.

The gnome suddenly realized what I was about to do.

It tried to resist, but its efforts were in vain.

With one swoop, I hefted it off its feet and threw it onto the stairs.

Strangely enough, nothing happened to it as it touched the stairs.

Unable to find purchase, the gnome began rolling.

Upon touching the last step, it froze.

The gnome suddenly emitted a ripping sound before turning inside out.

Wat.

Huh?

Don’t tell me…

I approached the stairs with a chicken.

With a little hop, I flew over the first stair and landed on the second.

Immediately, I froze.

Oh shit!

「...」

Nothing happened.

My feathery little puppet was quite alright.

Isn’t it great to be alive?

A few hops later, it safely made it to the top.

That’s strange; there was definitely some sort of influence in the chicken’s mind.

I usually take two stairs at a time, yet the chicken seemed to instinctively go for the first step.

I had it come down again, this time, not controlling it.

Step by step, it hopped down, until it reached the second to last stair.

Then it instinctively skipped the last stair, landing on the ground unharmed.

Nefarious.

What a genius.

The last stair is trapped, but on the way down, you’re compelled to skip the last stair by some sort of mental force.

However, on the way up, you’re compelled to step on the last stair by the same force.

“Hahaha, it’s so simple!” I laughed.

How terrifyingly creative. I bet the creator has no friends.

「Wow, that was sudden.」

What a brilliantly designed one-way trap, though.

How was I so stupid not to realize that no one stepped on the last staircase?

「Analyzing known mental force patterns.」

「Deploying warning and suppressive countermeasures.」

「You will now receive a notification if a manipulative mental force is detected. Suppressive countermeasures are effective to 30% for intra-mind processes. Better suppressive algorithms are being developed, ETA 1h.」

Karl looked at me. “Is only the first step trapped?”

“That’s my current theory. I felt some kind of compulsive force that makes you want to miss that step on the way down, but step on it on the way up.”

I demonstrated with a chicken-angel.

The angel jumped over the first step and onto the second.

Then, it jumped back down.

“See? Perfectly fine.”

「Earlier memories have been analyzed for mental manipulation. One match found: Entrance to this area was surrounded by entry-countermeasure.」

Eh? There was some kind of field keeping us from entering? How’d we get in then?

「Likely explanation: Automatic mapping originates from electronic components which are not affected.」

Why is it that I can resist the compulsion so easily?

「Compulsion is of suggestive type. Thus, it can be concluded that these types of traps would be most effective against unwary enemies.」

Huh. So if your mind is made up, you won’t be affected, but if you haven’t made a specific decision on the subject, you’ll fall under the effects?

「That is correct.」

“Hahaha, well, looks like you are of no further use, Mr. Gnome,” I laughed.

By now, its smug expression was all but gone.

“No… no… please…” it cried out.

“Mister Gnome, I regret to inform you that you were unable to add you to the list of survivors for this expedition.”

Its face instantly turned pale.

“The list of applicants this time has been the most competitive in all of history. Unfortunately, we are a very selective group. Although you have great potential, you lack contributions to the group. Due to the inherent risk of sheltering an enemy, we are unable to accept your application.”

I had an angel unsheathe its arming sword.

As the blade was slowly exposed to the air, the gnome’s expression turned to pure terror.

“Wa-Wait! Contributions? I can make contributions! Please! Just spare me!”

“Hahaha, you’re just blowing hot air out of your rear end! You think I can’t see that?” Karl laughed maniacally. “Just a second ago, you were smiling condescendingly! Where’d that go, huh?”

The gnome seemed to lose the little bit of hope it had.

Now that death is breathing down its neck, I wonder what kind of profits I can make…

It would make absolutely zero sense to kill it right now, seeing how limited the benefit would be.

Spite killing is fun… the first few times.

But spite killing gets old pretty quickly.

On the other hand, money doesn’t. Anyone who tells you otherwise has an extremely limited imagination.

I looked at the gnome curiously.

“What sort of contributions?” I inquired. The best time to scam someone is when they’ve got much to lose.

“Information, treasure, whatever you want!” the gnome said quickly.

“Well then, let’s start with some easy ones.” I pointed at the dead gnome. “Why is there no gem?”

“Only dungeon creatures drop gems,” the gnome answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

“Are you trying to imply that you aren’t a dungeon creature?” I raised my eyebrow. “Where did you come from then?”

“We’ve traveled here from the Forests of Eternal Darkness in order to make sacrifices at the Altar of Aruer.”

“Altar of Aruer?” Karl interjected. “What business do you have with the God of Slaughter?”

God of Slaughter?

Sounds like an evil person.

“Multiple high priests are here on a personal mission from the King. We’re just here to guard them.”

“What sort of mission?” Karl pressed.

“I don’t know. All information about this mission is told on a need to know basis.”

“Aren’t you afraid of compromising the mission by telling us this?” I questioned.

If he is able to betray his friends at the drop of the hat, wouldn’t he betray us as well?

“You think I give a flying rip about the royal family? Those bastards are the ones that conscripted me in the first place! Taxes are insane for all but the richest! Forget not supporting them, I would join the opposition if anyone had the power to kill them!”

My smile slowly grew wider as the gnome went through his treasonous rant.

“What about your patrol buddy? Isn’t he your friend?”

“Are you kidding? That guy was an asshole. He uses my stuff without permission and leaves me to clean up after him. I’m glad he’s dead!”

「Lies lies lies lies.」

Duly noted. He shall be disposed of when convenient.

“So you claim you might be loyal to me. What about treasures? What sort of treasures can we gain?” I said, putting emphasis on the ‘we’ part.

“On the way here, the high priests had multiple caravans with their elite teams. There’s probably something valuable there,” the gnome replied with a hopeful expression on his face.

「It may be possible to set up a Forward Operating Base here in the gnome stronghold. We just have to disguise operatives as gnomes and when the time is right… we grab and burn.」

That’s pretty bold. Is it possible for the angel puppets to lose their wings?

「Theoretically, we can spawn them without wings. We can technically spawn them anywhere from between ‘normal human’ to ‘normal chicken.’」

Nice. We should make two ‘gnome-sized’ puppets for now with their face features and have them disguise themselves with their clothes and hats.

「Wow, that’s even bolder than an FOB.」

And when we launch a full offensive of winged-puppets, we’ll already have friendlies inside their ranks.

“Hey, Karl!” I called out. “I need two mana solutions.”

The two blue vials were handed to me.

“What’s your name?” I asked the gnome.

“Lobar,” he responded promptly.

“Well, Mister Lobar, today’s your lucky day. Since I don’t stand to gain much from killing you, I’ve decided to work with you.”

I threw my head back and drank both solutions.

In two flashes of light, two gnome-sized humans formed.

Karl stared dumbly at the head on the ground and the puppet.

“They’re… identical… impossible…” he muttered repeatedly.

The puppets immediately began changing into the bloody clothes of the two dead gnomes. Talk about being born with a purpose.

“You will go back patrolling with this gnome.” I gestured at one of the newly-created puppets. “The other will stand guard right where we found him.”

Lobar nodded.

“You have two missions. The first is to supply my summons with anything needed, whether this is mana solutions or information. The second is to gather supporters. Round up your lackeys and friends who also share your mindset. Inform my summons of any potential enemies, and we’ll have them replaced. Do you have any questions?”

“No, Mister…”

“Steele. Steele Johnson.”

“Thank you, Mister Johnson.”

“It’s a pleasure to be working with you, Mister Lobar.”

I sheathed my rapier and turned to leave.

“Assist me, and you’ll be lavishly rewarded. Betray me, and I’ll kill you like a dog.”

On that final note, we departed.

The dead bodies and spilled food were cleaned up.

One of the ‘gnomes’ went back to guard the entrance and the other returned to patrol with Lobar.

The rest of us began ascending towards the exit.

「Wait, what if we left the puppets in the dungeon to farm and absorb gems while you return with Karl to the base? That way we can also keep the puppets a secret.」

That’s actually a great idea!

We can just leave them here to farm and build OU-2 or higher soldiers to expand!

「Analysis of /summon_data says it is fundamentally impossible to create a puppet of higher OU than the soul.」

That’s total bullshit… but makes a lot of sense actually.

I had gear in the puppet’s bags were transferred to Karl’s and my bag.

I left puppets to farm the first and second floors.

As long as they don’t encounter any floor bosses, they should be fine.

「Footsteps, 8 entities, 11 o’clock, 150 feet and closing.」

“Hey Karl, we’ve got company.”

“What? Where?” he asked in surprise.

「Micro expression analysis indicates feigned surprise.」

Feigned surprise? In other words, he was expecting incoming entities?

He must have some kind of radar device or something.

「He is close to the Second Lieutenant, so that’s expected.」

Hey Aipers, tag a note to everyone’s GUI for every secret device suspected.

「New threads created, Glucose consumption rates have exceeded soft cap ‘A’. Finding alternative energy sources is recommended.」

「Warning: Glucose consumption rates have exceeded soft cap ‘A.’ Current bodily energy consumption estimated 220 Watts. Finding alternative energy sources is highly recommended.」

Woah, what the fuck… are you downloading the entire internet right now? Show me energy distributions…

「Estimated body consumption: 100 Watts, Core processor: 80 Watts, Secondary Coprocessors: 10 Watts/each.」

What the hell is that power draw…?

「You’re running three virtual minds for the puppets, version 9 with all combat augmentation services along with three virtual minds for the chickens with the target and echo-positional analysis for all six of them. Additionally, you’re doing it on the most energy inefficient processor imaginable. You tell me where all this power is running from.」

Uhhh, can we use this ‘mana’ stuff for energy?

「If mana to electricity exists, we can make it work.」

Alright, so we’re tight on energy… what about heat dissipation?

「Heat dissipation grid is functioning correctly. Temperature is maintained at 98.6 degrees.」

Ya know, this body is pretty sweet.

「You’re the creator of the body, definitely a great success.」

Why thank you.

Seconds later, a party of eight rounded the corner and stopped in front of the two of us.

Curiously, all of them appeared to be females.

They casually looked at each other and nodded.

“Looks like we’ve found them,” one of them commented.

“Karl, we’ve been looking all over for you.”

「Lie detected. Their path from detection time to now has been on the shortest path.」

What? They could have some kind of homing beacon when they get close, though. When was the time of detection?

「A chicken stationed near the entrance picked up their footsteps first. A second chicken was deployed to track them, and according to all mapping data, they made a beeline for us.」

Wat.

“The Lieutenant Colonel has personally summoned you.”

A hint of annoyance could be seen flickering across Karl’s face for a fraction of a second.

“Do you want to go back with me, or do you want to stay here by yourself a bit longer?” he asked me.

“Uhh, I guess I’ll stay for a bit longer.”

「Hey, ask him why he’s leaving.」

Why? He won’t know…

「That’s the point. Just do it.」

“Hey, do you know why you’re being summoned?”

“Not a clue,” he replied after an almost undetectable pause.

「Karl has been flagged as a potential traitor.」

WHAT.

Isn’t that going a bit far?

「Not at all. Both the pitch of his voice and the pause time were both around four standard deviations from the baseline.」

So what if he’s lying though? Everyone has their secrets…

「He’s clearly colluding with the party of eight and potentially Lieutenant Colonel Kazia. According to the Overwatch service, those eight and Kazia are a hair away from also being flagged as potential enemies.」

That’s not true, they could be in a secret relationship… those eight could be in on it as well.

「Your explanation for being lied to repeatedly is that the Lieutenant Colonel has a secret relationship with a secretary? 」

Of course, we shouldn’t unnecessarily barge into other’s business. Force suppress the potential traitor warning and raise the Overwatch service’s flagging requirements. Clearly, it’s too sensitive.

「Are you sure you want to do this? 」

Yes, I’m sure. Get on with it.

「Are you sure you’re sure you want to do this? 」

For the love of God, just fucking do it already!

「Admin privileges are required for this action, please input credentials. You may still cancel your action.」

If I could roll my eyes any harder, lab-grade centrifuges would be put to shame.

「Changes will be made to core-level programs, do you wish to proceed?」

Sweet motherfucking Teresa on the hood of a fucking Tesla, can you please just make the changes?

「The changes have been made. You may undo if you dislike the changes.」

Dislike the changes? I fucking love these changes. I am change.

I winked at Karl and gave him a thumbs-up.

“You can do it,” I said, grinning.

He paused for a second and smiled.

“Try not to die,” he said, a touch softer than usual.

With that, they spun on their heels and left.

They quickly rounded a bend and went out of sight.

「Two soldiers have split off from the group. The rest are headed for the exit.」

What’s that supposed to mean?

That’s pretty bizarre.

「It is now a given that they have ulterior motives.」

You know what? Flag all those soldiers as potential enemies.

「Why now? 」

My gut says they’re evil.

「Hey, we’ve got a problem… chickens have just lost the two soldiers. Footstep noises have vanished and no one is at the point of vanishing.」

That’s fishy as fuck.

Can you use noise rebound predictions to figure out where they are?

「Hearing mechanisms on puppets and chickens aren’t sensitive enough to use those kinds of services.」

What about the six and Karl, are they still detectable?

「Yes, we have audio and visual confirmation. They’re trying to be ninjas and are estimated to leave the boundaries of the dungeon within twenty minutes at their current pace.」

Good.

Let’s focus on our current priorities. OU-2 needs to be reached as soon as possible. Without strength, our future moves will be extremely limited.

If a goblin can be killed every two and a half minutes by each entity, of which there are me and four puppets… that makes one hundred and twenty gems an hour. That means to reach our goal of two thousand, we will need sixteen hours and forty minutes.

「Wait, you’re assuming no rest or breaks...」

Rest and breaks? Who the hell has time for those?

Use spare computational power to search for more efficient ways to farm gems. Let’s make the South Koreans proud.

Part 2 -

「A total of 2000 gems has been absorbed. Mana recovery rate appears to have decreased. No other differences observable compared to previous states based on information from instruments.」

Heh, collecting goes way quicker when you have more puppets, eh?

Wait, but recovery rate has dropped off?

「Time needed to gather mana for each new puppet has been increasing. Mana costs remain unchanged. Mana recovery rate appears to be continuously decreasing, even with no actions being taken.」

That’s ridiculous. It’s already bullshit enough that mana regeneration is split between all my puppets.

In order to utilize the summoning spell, I need to gather all my farming puppets with me to consolidate enough mana.

Hey, Aipers, how does our current understanding of ‘mana’ fit in with the Soul Model?

「Currently, based off /summon_data and observed phenomena, I have created the Soul/Mana Model. Basically, the body is connected to the soul via the brain. From the soul, decisions based on processes and inputs from the brain can be made. Additionally, a type of energy that can accurately be called, E_Primitive aka ‘mana,’ is transferred to the body. There is one known use for E_Primitive and there have been no previous observations of any such energy on Earth.」

Wait, that actually makes sense. If puppets are just additional bodies controlled by the soul, it makes sense that mana is split between bodies.

I took a piece of meat from my bag and began munching on it.

「Wait, give the puppets a chunk too. I want to test something.」

The food was quickly distributed. I ate the chunk with each puppet and waited expectantly.

Well?

「It will take an estimated hour to take effect, so just go back to farming gems.」

What? Don’t just leave me hanging…

「Mana recovery rates seem to increase slightly after eating if you haven't eaten for a while. My hypothesis is that each puppet could have an upkeep cost that can be mitigated if food is consumed.」

You’re fucking brilliant… if this works.

If not, I retract my statement.

I immediately went back to farming gems.

Sure enough, after about an hour, the results were clear.

Mana recovery had shot up by leaps and bounds.

How much food is there left?

「About four meals. If you split it between eight people, you have about two hours of additional food supply.」

Based on current mana recovery and next scheduled meal, I should be able to create two more puppets before I need to head back. If I make these without wings, they can become dedicated food suppliers. That’ll make this farming base completely autonomous.

「That’s incorrect. You’ll probably have to head back earlier than that, considering the sheer amount of energy you’re burning off.」

Well, I could technically head back now. There are enough puppets here that a significant portion of my mana will come here.

Slowly, I began making my way out of the dungeon.

As I left, I noticed two soldiers watching me from the shadows.