《Tears of Blood ✔》XV - Reconciliation
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The past few days had been a blur, feeling more like a fever dream than anything.
Cora and Ti should almost be finished. I saw them two days ago in their break, blood and sweat and shaking limbs. Barely any words were spoken as I passed through the food and water. I had hoped to take them out for some air, but both had refused, choosing to stay in the cell.
I had no issues with that, leaving the moment I saw their eyes roll to the back of their head.
And then there was the case of Alexander.
I hadn't spoken to him at all, avoiding his glance and trading the bed for the floor, even though I always woke up back on the mattress. I knew I was in the wrong, and half of me was too embarrassed to go and apologise. The second part of me was mad, especially since I had woken up after my return, I had found a large, purple mark on my neck. For one tiny, split-second of a moment, a grin had taken over my face, almost proud to be wearing such a mark. Then realisation and common sense hit me. Alexander knew exactly what he was doing when he left this, he couldn't mark me the way he wanted to, so he settled for this.
It was easy to cover up, but I know that Alexander was aware of what he'd done, considering how many times I had caught him staring at my covered collarbone with a triumphant smile on his face.
I had merely scowled, returning his glance with a glare.
Thankfully, he seemed to get the memo, avoiding conversation just as much as I.
"So tell me," Myra started, taking another long sip of her tea. "What are your plans for tonight?"
I picked up my cup again, "Sleeping? I was planning to go for a training session tomorrow morning."
Myra furrowed her brow, "Going against the usual, huh? I figured you would be going out with the pack, considering the fact that it's a full moon tonight."
I paused, "Full moon?"
"Yes, didn't you know? I thought it was some sort of a sixth sense for you wolves, knowing when the full moon was coming." Myra said.
I probably looked like a deer in the headlights, how had I forgotten? "It should be," I scoffed. "I rarely had the opportunity to fully celebrate it, so I guess my body just filtered it out."
Myra sat down her cup. "Strange, Vance was talking about it and Xander mentioned that he had already talked to you about it. I will admit, I only know about what happens after they return from their run, if you know what I'm saying."
I glared at the ceiling, "Of course he said that."
"You two are arguing at the moment?" Myra mentioned carefully. "I mean, I already know the answer considering the fact that I do have a pair of eyes, but still."
I rolled my eyes, suddenly feeling very unwilling to share details. "I haven't talked to him at all this week, but I'm guessing that's about to change. Why the hell he decided not to mention anything to me I have no idea, probably hates me now to the point where he can't even utter a word without throwing up in his mouth a little bit."
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Myra shuffled forward, "Let me tell you, Cassandra. I've been Farren's mate since the moment she turned 16. She felt it straight away, and I certainly couldn't deny the attraction. I grew up with the Cain's, my family did a lot of work with the Bloodlust pack, so I was practically always around. Xander... he's hard, stubborn, strong, literally always horny. But he's also a man who's always wanted a mate. He understands the situation between the two of you, and he wouldn't do anything to compromise that. Xander has been waiting for you for a very long time, and I think you need to have a little more faith in him. I'm not sure what you could ever do that would make him hate you, but I can almost guarantee that he's just putting distance to be respectful, perhaps to let you come to him, but certainly not because he hates you."
I sighed. "He hasn't done anything wrong, I got pissed off and now I'm being too much of an arse to apologise."
"Your minds think the same way. You should just go upstairs and talk to him, try and relieve some of that tension. A lot is happening within the next few weeks and trust me, you'll want to be on a talking basis with him before all that comes to fruition."
I didn't question it, knowing full well that I could get that information. "He'll kick me out of his office,"
"Then storm in!" Myra proposed. "Take charge. He can't kick you out if you're already in the room and speaking to him."
"I doubt I have any choice, I have to go and speak to him." I cringed, letting out a nervous breath.
Myra smiled slightly, "I think the goddess did a very good job in pairing the two of you."
I looked up at the ceiling again, "Perhaps,"
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Alexander had once said that there was no need for me to ever knock on his office door. Considering how I currently felt about him, I had no issues in barging through the entranceway like a bull.
A perfect image, sitting quietly at his desk with a pen in hand and his glass, goddess forbid his glasses, perched right on the edge of his nose.
It was as if he had already known that I was about to come in, taking the liberty in finishing his sentence before daring to look up at me.
He flashed his wrist, checking the time before dropping the pen from his fingertips and situating his hands beneath his chin. "Afternoon."
I gave the fakest smile I could, scrunching my face as my eyes blared. "Afternoon."
Silence, more utterly, unbearable silence. What the hell was I doing? I'm supposed to be nice and try and get him to forgive me.
"You're welcome to sit down, I would assume your whole body feels like shit considering the fact that you're sleeping on my floor rather than on an actual mattress." He said, gesturing to the seat.
"I'm sleeping better there than I was in a bed with you," I snarled. "It's the full moon tonight."
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Confused, Alexander furrowed his brow. "Well it's certainly not waning."
"Don't sass me," I snapped, "What, did you not think about saying anything to me? Myra said apparently, you claimed to have already talked me through the full moon but here I am, clueless."
I watched him sigh, placed his fingers at the top of his nose before smoothing the skin over his rough brows. "Perhaps I had already figured that the conversation would go just as dismal as this one, especially considering the fact that you have a nasty habit of jumping to conclusions and ripping my head off before I even have the opportunity to explain."
I widen my stance, "Well here, I'll shut up. Go on, explain. What a golden opportunity I have no granted you."
He paused, "I just didn't want to have the conversation with you. Wolves have an affinity for sensing those sort of things, I had figured you had already worked it out. Either way, you would have found out before we left."
He didn't want to have the conversation with me. Of course that was the reasoning.
I bit my cheek, "So what, you're scared to talk to me?"
His entire body tensed, "I'm sick and tired of having my heart shatter with every word you say. Turns out, you have more weapons on you apart from the knives at your side. I'm sorry if I give off the impression that I don't have emotions, but I do. And it's so easy for you to fucking break me down with every shit thing you say. You think I like having my mate hate me? Do you think I like living with the information that in what, two months? My mate is going to leave me and never look back simply because the tactic I chose to make you fall in love with me backfired and is completely failing and I have no other options at all except hoping that something I do strikes a chord?"
"I-"
He stood out of his chair, "You could tell me to jump out that window right now and I would do it. I have spent so much time trying to figure you out, figure out who or what stabbed you that first night we met in hopes of bringing you justice, and nothing is ever enough. Excuse me for trying to use something that I know can make a girl fall at her knees, yes it wasn't the right move but I can barely think when you're around what the hell do you think I'm supposed to do-"
"I'm sorry." I interrupted, cutting him off mid sentence. "I'm sorry. I'm a shit mate, I haven't tried at all. You have nowhere to blame in this, it's all my fault. I can take accountability for that."
He said nothing.
I took a breath. " I know I'm not what you expected. You probably wanted some gorgeous, model worthy woman who's kind, and caring, who's ready to step up to being a luna, who wants to do everything with you right away and not waste a moment, but I'm not that girl. I have never been that girl. I have no idea what I'm doing and I could never even prepare myself for this since I certainly didn't expect a mate-"
That was when he kissed me.
In one quick moment, I was drawn into his arms, a quick turning leaving my whole body pressed against the desk. Alexander's lips were soft, desperate as he pinned them against mine. For a moment I was still, however, that was all it took before my lips began to move against his. I let my hand slide up his chest and just behind his neck, letting my fingers play with the hair at the nape of his neck. All I could think about was his body over mine, the way his hands caressed my skin, how my entire body was fluttering as sparks coursed through me.
Alexander pulled away, resting his head in the crook of my neck. "Tell me you feel something. Anything, anywhere. Please Cassandra, tell me I have a chance."
I leaned my head against his, "You make me feel... I don't even know how to explain it. Unlike any way I've ever felt before. It's a good feeling,"
He pressed another kiss to my neck, just one, slow and deep. "I hate fighting with you, not over such stupid things like this."
"I'll try and be better," I whispered, "I'll try and make this work on my end. I don't mind- actually, I think I rather like kissing you, but we can't go any further than that. Not for a while, anyway."
He let out a chuckle, "So you'll leave me to deal with all my problems myself?"
"Get a grip on yourself and I think you'll find that you'll have no problems at all." I replied back, slowly stroking my finger against his neck.
"You're a devil Cassandra," He said, "You're an evil, evil woman."
"And yet I would say that's what you like the most about me,"
He threw back his head, letting out the loudest, most genuine laugh I had ever heard, "You wouldn't be wrong."
He returned back to the original position, except this time, leaving no space between us as he hoisted his hands beneath my legs and pulled me up so that I was sitting on his desk.
I let out a slow breath.
I wasn't sure how much of this I could take before...
Before the feeling in my heart spread, spread so far over my body that there was no hope for me. I knew that it would work better and faster than the injection did.
How I expected to be able to leave Alexander when the time came, I had no idea.
All I knew was the fact that I was beginning to wish that I didn't have to leave at all.
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