With a final heaving of my stomach, I knew it was over. And while my head continued to pound and my entire body continues to ache, it was over.

The injection had finally left my system.

I was myself, completely and wholly myself for the first time since I was six.

My own thoughts, my own feelings, my own opinions.

Nothing to blur over my actions, nothing to keep me from remembering the awful, gruesome details that filled my mind.

I sat alone on the cold, stone floor with my own blood staining my skin for about four hours before I heard the steps echoing down the hall.

I moved my body slowly, facing my head upwards so I could see whoever it was.

Farren leaned casually against the bars, a key swinging in her hand, a slow whistle on her breath.

She raised her eyebrow, "You're not screaming." It was more of a statement than a question, as if I was a child.

"I'm done," I whispered, my mouth dry and my throat burning. "It's over."

While it was obvious she didn't fully understand my words, Farren shoved the key into the lock, clicking it open before walking over and doing the same with my cuffs. "Can you walk?"

She was bored, almost annoyed that she was the one who had to come down here. I pulled myself up, my entire body swaying as I did so. I didn't want to have her carry me, goddess forbid get someone else too.

So I made sure I stayed standing, my hand on the wall as my entire body hunched over.

And then we started to walk, Farren just in front of me. I channelled every piece of remaining energy into climbing up the stairs, my body hovering closer to the floor with every step.

By the time we reached the top, I was on my hands and knees, Farren not even sparing a glance to me as I did so.

She stood still for a moment, facing me as her eyes glazed over. She was only mind linking for a minute before she began speaking to me.

"Right now, I'm the only one here. To be honest, no one expected you to be, well, normal for another day or two. Otherwise Xander or Harmony would be here, hell, maybe even Vance. I've mind linked Xander, he'll be here in a moment to take you to a doctor, and who knows what from there. But until then, do you need anything?" Farren said quickly, narrowing her eyes.

"Water," Was all I managed to say.

She sighed before heading into the kitchen, returning with a bottle of water.

I took it graciously, the cool water gliding down my throat the moment I got my hands on it.

"It seems like you all had quite a thought out plan on how to deal with me once this was over." I started offhandedly.

Farren rolled her eyes, "Well, it's not like we had a choice. We all went down that day after Harmony locked you up. We all saw you. You were begging for us to kill you, that you deserved to die. It took a whole hell lot of restraint not to just shove a dagger into your side."

Memories flashed back, my body scraping against the floor, screaming, screaming, screaming-

"I wish you had," Were my final words before the two of us slipped back into an uneasy silence.

-------------------------------

The door opened, revealing Alexander. I raised my head slowly, as if to meet his gaze. He was breathing heavily, his eyes rimmed with red and messy hair.

Something was bothering him.

"I'm sorry, I was at a meeting," He breathed.

I raised an eyebrow, "Ok?"

My breathing was still hoarse, and while the water had eased my throat, each word that came out of my mouth sounded as if my voicebox was made of sandpaper. Alexander stepped forward, tentatively, as if approaching a ticking bomb.

"Well, now that you've turned up, Xander, I'll leave you to your nutjob-"

Alexander interrupted. "Mate, Farren, have some respect."

"Nightstalker, Alpha, have some respect," I mocked.

The two siblings went silent, sharing a quick glance with each other. Alexander flexed his hand as the long vein in his neck sticked out.

"Yeah, like I said, nutjob. I'll see you tonight, but otherwise, she's all yours," Farren snarled before walking out the room.

I let my legs collapse against the floor, trying to appear as unbothered as possible. With a wicked smile on my face, I asked, "So, how have you been?"

Alexander gulped, "How have I been? I-, you know what, better than you I could guess."

I shrugged my shoulders, "Yea well, wouldn't be too hard."

"I'm not sure what Farren said, but you're heading to the doctor-"

"I don't need to." I cut him off. "Trust me, I'll recover just fine on my own."

Alexander ran a hand over his face, "First off, no. Whatever the... reasoning for what has happened, I understand I'm not getting that information anytime soon, but you're not ok. I mean look at you-"

"Saying I look ugly?" I smirked,

"Well, you certainly don't look like an angel." Alexander admitted, "You're the most stunning woman I've ever seen in my life Nightstalker, but whatever you've done to yourself this last week isn't something that one really does to themselves very often."

I pulled myself off the floor, focusing on my centre for a moment to channel out the pain.

I raised my fists, baring my teeth. Let him try to take me to the doctor. "Bite me,"

"How tempting," I watched his eyes flicker for a moment before coming forward and throwing my body over his shoulder, securing me without any issue. "But keep it for the bedroom,"

"Put me down your Alpha brute." I heaved, smashing my fists against his back in a small act of rebellion.

Alexander was already out of the door, "You do realise that I'm not feeling anything right?"

I kept going, "I don't need to go to a doctor, you need to go to a doctor, how about I give you a fucking reason to go to a doctor-"

I could feel his chest rumble as he laughed, jostling my body as he did so. "I'd like to see you try."

This man, this absolute arse of a man who for some reason, I had been fated with. So what if he couldn't feel anything, so what if his body was so built that the only way I could do something that he could feel would be to lodge a dagger in his neck.

The doctor was about as helpful as a pool floatie in a rapid. It almost felt like a therapy session, practically begging me for information. What was wrong with me, what was the injection, where did it come from, where did you come from.

All while Alexander was sitting in the seat next to me, carefully listening in to every word that was said.

I didn't feel like replying, and in all honesty, I couldn't be bothered.

Instead, I took my time to properly inspect myself. My nails looked like tree stumps, bloodied stumps that had been gnawed down to nothing. Long, red streaks covered my legs, easily from what was once my nails. Bruises were everywhere, while my arms were covered in grazes, grazes that most likely transferred over onto my torso where a similar pain lingered.

One of the first things I had been taught was pain identification. I had a broken wrist, my knee was dislocated and as I ran a phantom hand over my ribs, I could almost guarantee that one was fractured.

I was thankful that I was used to injuries like this, or else I didn't know how I would be sitting here, looking completely unaffected. No, this pain was temporary, but I knew that all the effects would be mental, whenever it chose to fully come into place.

"Look, Luna-"

My head snapped towards the doctor, pulling me out of the fantasy world that I had just been living in. "What did you just call me?"

I leaned forward, cracking my knuckles as I let my face drop. The doctor looked at Alexander,

"Luna. Or is that not your title?"

I ran my tongue over my teeth ."No, no it is not. And I think you should disregard anything that this Alpha has told you and listen to me. My knee has been dislocated, my wrist is broken and I've got a rib fracture. All of which I can solve by myself. The only thing you need to concern yourself with was making sure I didn't die when I was unconscious. Which you have already done."

The doctor sighed, "I don't have a degree in psychology, but I can see you have a lot of pent up issues, perhaps rooting back to your... origins. Should you need to come back when you're prepared for that sort of vulnerability, let me know, we can book you in easy for an appointment."

I turned back to Alexander, "Force me into anything like this again, you'll regret making me share your bed."

I pulled myself out of the chair, and in my limp, I hobbed out of the room and into the hallway. I could hear mutters before I felt Alexanders presence behind me. I never thought I would miss the endless darkness of the Base's corridors, and while I appreciated the red accents that seemed to cover the entire pack, but it was clean. I was never concerned about ruining my shoes on the floor. I could see Alexander's shadow looming over my shoulder.

"Are you alright?" He whispered behind me.

"What the hell do you think?"

Alexander didn't stop, "I should have listened to you,"

I whipped my head around to face him, a snarl on my face, "You're only just realising this now?"

------------------------------------

Clink, Clink, Clink.

I didn't recognise the meal in front of me. But from what I could tell about the other's eager reactions to it, it must be good. I couldn't bring myself to take a bite just yet, merely clinking my fork against the side of the crockery bowl.

"Xander, did you get the issue of the newbies sorted?" Vance asked, his bowl already half empty.

Alexander was already on his second plate, "I've gone through and sorted through the applicants. We should be able to get them on the borders within a month. Farren agreed with essentially all of my choices, but I'm pulling together a training session for them specifically where I can train them."

"I was thinking You, Farren and I should go over it as a trio, just to make sure that we're able to know them slightly better. I can almost guarantee that it will help, especially considering just how much the three of us interact with the trainees."

Alexander gestured his fork forward, "I was thinking the same thing."

I raised an eyebrow as I continued to twirl the pasta around the fork before undoing it.

As if watching my every move, Harmony tilted her head, "Nightstalker, is something wrong with the food?"

I snapped my head up, "No, no, it's fine."

Nice, respectful, kind. That's what I had to be. The longer I put on this act, the more seamless it would be, the more convincing.

"Then why aren't you eating it?" Farren interrogated, "This is practically Myra's specialty, are you too good to eat her food?"

I narrowed my eyes, "No, I'm not too good to eat Myra's food I've just... I've never eaten food like this."

Farren snorted, "Oh please,"

I gritted my teeth. Guilty, I would have to make them feel guilty.

"Where I came from, three meals a day would be a luxury. It was always there but people like me are always busy. I would never know whether or not I would have the time. Especially since I was never provided food when I'm out on the field. The meals I did eat... I'm just concerned about adjusting to food so rich." I said slowly, thinking over each word slowly.

Everyone seemed to pause.

"You really have a sob story for everything, don't you?" Farren accused, her eyes blaring.

"Farren," Myra stepped in. "It's fine. Not everyone eats like us, not everyone eats like the Bloodlust pack and not everyone eats as a wolf should." Myra moved her face to mine, locking eyes. "I understand."

"What, so you've decided to forgive her for what she's done?" Farren hissed.

"Not yet, my love, but I'm willing to look past that to try and understand her situation. I can acknowledge her relationship to Xander, along with her relationship in terms to me." Myra placed her hand over Farrens. "Nightstalker is making an effort, the least we can do is the same."

Myra turned back to me and nodded her head slightly. In return, I slowly filled the fork and placed it in my mouth. It was too acidic, too salty, too thick. But I swallowed it, and that seemed to do the trick.

Farren took a deep breath. "How can we trust her, if we don't even know her name?"

I heard a small squeal come from Harmony's mouth.

I'm not sure why I didn't want to tell my name. Perhaps it was because I was on a mission, and I didn't want to risk it. Perhaps it would be because I knew it would put me in an awkward place with my mate, didn't want make connections that I would be breaking.

But I could see right into Farren's thoughts. If there was anyone I needed to get to trust me, It was her.

I started at Alexander, his face as emotionless as his body was still.

"My name," I started, "Is Cassandra Verano. I'm Twenty Three. I know nothing of where I was from, my parents, my family or my heritage, so that's about all I can offer you."

Everyone was silent as I could feel small pricks of heat behind my eyes. "If you don't mind, I need to get some sleep."

As quickly as I could, I stood up, pushed in my chair and exited the room, wiping a hand over my face just as I turned the corner. Hopefully, to give the illusion that I was crying.

I would have liked to hold on to that information for just a while longer, but desperate times called for desperate measures.

The room's door was wide open, along with a large shirt hanging off the edge of the bed. I glanced around the room before sighing. Seems like this was my only option.

My head was pounding and the small bite of pasta I had was sitting uneasily in my stomach. How long would I be unable to eat the food placed in front of me? I let my body collapse on the very edge of the bed, knowing very well who would be joining me in a matter of hours.

As much as I wished it wasn't, my sleep was plagued with dreams.

------------------------------------------------

"How many times have I told you Nightstalker? You throw that dagger to the board or I break a finger, whatever you do is your choice." Master Skotus ordered as he stalked around the room. "Or are you truly as weak as you look?"

"I'm not weak!" I bit back, "I'm not!"

"Then prove it!" He ordered, his voice echoing around the room.

The temperature spiked as I took a breath, I began to through the knives. One to the head, one to the chest, one to the stomach and so on. When I was done, you could barely see the wooded plank underneath.

Master Skotus stepped forward to inspect it. He ran his fingers along the hilt of the dagger, "Not good enough. Again."

And so I did it, again, again, again.

Every time the attempt seemed to be worse, Master Skotus yelling louder and louder in my ear.

"If you don't fucking get this right, we'll have to kill you. Maybe I'll do it, put a bullet through your brain. Maybe Mistress Circe will poison your food until your insides begin to burn you from the inside out, choking on your own organs. Or maybe I'll hand you over to Madame Beaudeline, have you as her own personal blood supply."

I kept throwing, the eternal ache in my shoulder growing stronger.

My body was shaking, how true were Master Skotus's words? Would I even live to see my twelfth birthday?

"Alright, stop. This is pathetic." He finally said, his eyes a burning flame as he moved towards me. "Maybe you'll do better with some live targets."

He called in a long string of slaves, their skin dirty and hair matted.

I could barely feel my own muscles as Master Skotus yelled, "Again!"

Blood sprayed as the knife punctured the man's skull.

-----------------------------------------------

I woke up screaming.

My chest was rapid, hands shaking as eyes leaking as I sat up straight.

I didn't have nightmares, why was I having nightmares? That day, my first kill, why out of everything was I dreaming about that.

"Cassandra, Cassandra, are you ok?" I had woken him up, Alexanders face only inches away from mine.

All I could hear was my breathing, "No. No, I'm not."

"What can I do?" He asked, eyes begging.

I pulled away. "Minding your own business would be helpful."

The entire mattress dipped as I quickly rolled off, heading towards the bathroom in complete darkness.

As I splashed water onto my face as I tried not to think about how much I liked my name on Alexander's tongue.

I took a moment, muttering Master Skotus's promise over and over. Brutal training means a Brutal warrior. I couldn't think about Alexander, not now.

I was out of withdrawal, at least, out of the worst of it.

It was time to bring the Bloodlust Pack down.

-----------------------------------------