《Girl Gone Rogue (The Shadow Hunters #2)》15. Want Me
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"This place is kind of cute." Aella dropped her satchel near the door, taking in the humble cabin.
"There's only a single bed." I informed her.
"You both can share it." Jamison offered. Alexei nodded, careful not to look at me for too long.
The ride up to the cabin had been interesting.
Thankfully, the men sat in front while Aella and I occupied the back row, talking.
The moment she had met Alexei and I near the truck, she faltered, staring between us in shock. It was a miracle Jamison had been on his way, or he would've easily connected the dots. She hadn't noticed yesterday either when I visited Daisy because I had left quickly.
Alexei and I hadn't had the chance to really talk since he had been busy patrolling the borders for most of the day. When he finally appeared, I couldn't stop ogling the hell out of him. He always looked great in his fitted E.S suit but this evening, he looked edible walking towards me with a duffle bag hanging from his left hand. Those dark pools of mahogany pinned me with an intensity that made my heart palpitate loudly as he drew closer. His scent settled my nerves.
"Penelope." He greeted, the timbre of his voice sensual. It was a tone I'd never heard from him until the other night.
I opened my mouth to respond but then Aella had been running towards us, calling my name with an exuberance, I couldn't help but give her my attention.
And that was how she had found out.
When Jamison finally arrived, he greeted everyone with a grunt before slinging his duffle bag into the back. Aella and I climbed to the back while Alexei claimed the passenger seat since Jamison had already hopped behind the driver's seat, starting the engine. The truck rumbled to life, spitting out black smoke.
Aella had been intrigued by the new development between Alexei and I but I couldn't talk to her with Alexei and Jamison's prying ears around. So, I started to blab about things that didn't really matter but was a safer topic to cling on to for now.
"Are you sure your ankle is fine?" She asked.
I shouldn't have been surprised. Aella took in detail. She didn't miss things. I thought it was baddass because she was Jude's other set of eyes in the Pack now. Before, I would've said it was Seamus.
I had hidden the limp in my walk quite spectacularly, but her expression was contorted into one of worry when she examined my ankle. I had already unbound the bandages since I could feel the bones had merged correctly but I had placed it in a thin ankle brace before tucking it into my combat boot just in case.
"It's almost completely healed. There are only slight pangs, but they can be tolerated. I think tomorrow morning, it'll be good."
"Let me know if it starts aching too much. I have some painkillers somewhere in my satchel. Jude packed it for me although I told him I'd be fine."
"Thanks Aella." I pulled her into a quick hug.
We were in the midst of talking about Misty, Jude's pet cat that resembled a fluffy white ball, when Jamison interrupted.
"So, you placed a chip on the changeling." Jamison spoke, glancing up at the review mirror to meet my gaze. "That's why you led it on a wild goose chase instead of killing it on the spot."
Neither was a question but two, solid facts.
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"Yeah. I already explained it to the Alpha. I wondered if the red-eyed changelings were gathering at a common spot, so I got Kian to make a chip and download an app on my phone. He didn't know what the chip was for, but he made it and I placed it on the wolf."
"Good call. This should move things along."
I blinked.
Was that a compliment from the great Jamison?
***
"Should we be doing this?" I asked my quiet companion. He hadn't spoken much since we left the cabin.
"We haven't had a training session in a while." Alexei replied, standing off to the side, watching me stretch. It was difficult ignoring the heat of his gaze, especially since I wanted his hands on me, like, everywhere. "Jamison and Aella will be fine scouting the area for now. We'll be doing all the dirty work in the morning. By then, your ankle should be completely healed."
I stretched my arms over my head, rolling my neck back and forth, "The Alpha and Aella know about us." I said when silence descended again.
"Is that a problem?" He asked.
From my peripheral, I watched as he leaned against a thick trunk, his toned arms crossed over his wide chest. Not once did his attention stray from me. It was like he was determined to see if his gaze could send me into a burst of flames.
"Is it?" I brought my hands to the grass beneath me, until I was bent at the waist. His gaze had followed intently, searing into my skin through my E.S gear.
I slowly straightened to my height, arching my spine back as I held my hips. I groaned, feeling my muscles loosen.
"I'm not going to hide this." His voice was gruff.
"And I'm not going to do that either." I slid into a perfect split, pointing my toes. I closed my eyes, letting the rustling leaves settle into my ears like nature's lullaby.
"Then why the weird distance?" He asked, catching me off-guard.
My eyelids snapped open as I warily shifted to my feet with practised grace, watching him. There was a strange tension in his jaw and shoulders as he regarded me intently.
"What did you just say?"
"You've put this weird distance between us. I don't know what it is but it's holding you back from coming to me."
I was beyond surprised by his words. "I'm holding back?"
"Yes."
I couldn't believe him. It was also clear he had no idea what he'd been doing either.
"Of course I'm holding back." I told him carefully, watching as my response made him flinch.
The confession jolted him from what I saw. He swallowed hard as something flickered across his expression. He slowly moved his weight off the tree, dipping his hands into his pockets. It was an incongruous move. It made him look vulnerable. "Why are you holding back?"
"I was following your lead." I admitted.
"My lead?"
I palmed my face. I didn't want to explain word for word, but it seemed like he had no idea what was happening. I could barely look him in the eye as I began, cautious. "Remember when I had the biggest crush on you?"
Absolute silence met my ears.
I flushed, mortified. Of course he remembered! Everyone in the damn Pack probably knew. It was a wonder no one had used the information to-
"You had a crush on me?" He asked, his mouth hesitating on the word 'crush'. It wasn't the type of word he used; it didn't fit. Other than that, he looked incredulous, as if he couldn't believe what I was telling him.
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I couldn't believe I was telling him either!
But here we were.
"Yeah, I had this ridiculous, massive crush on you, and you ignored it." I threw my hands in the air, slightly embarrassed and most likely humiliated I had brought it up. Heat crawled up my spine, spreading across my cheeks as I felt my heartbeat pound a thunderous tune.
He shook his head. The movement was stiff. "I didn't ignore it. I didn't know."
I blinked, feeling afloat and wondrously disconnected from my body. "Y-you didn't know?" That couldn't be right. I made it more than obvious. I had been hopelessly enamoured by him. At first, I'd just thought he was hot. Sue me. Alexei made all my girly parts tingle and I liked looking at him, but I'd never done anything about it. However, when we had been paired as part of my E.S training, my thoughts had changed on the man.
He was hard-working. He genuinely cared for the protection of his Pack. He was kind. He took care of me during those days I was glued to his side. He was hard, soft and everything between. It had been impossible to pull the brakes until I found myself watching him with longing. I'd been right to be cautious around him. Alexei was charming and he worked his charm with poised grace when he met a woman.
The said charm had never been directed at me.
Initially, I had been suspicious.
Then I realised, Alexei perhaps liked me as an annoying little sister. It was plausible at the time I was sorting out my messy emotions regarding the certain Enforcer.
My thoughts solidified when I had caught him with the same woman who had accosted the Pack house in search of him a few weeks earlier. It was why I thought she looked familiar. I had all but forgotten about the pretty honey haired woman until now.
She had been one of the reasons why I squashed any soft, fluttery feelings for Alexei and saw him simply as just another Enforcer in the Pack.
After our pairing had ended for the training, I'd been completely enraptured by the man, my heart sang each time he was near. I liked him a lot. He never treated me like a senseless Rogue. He treated me as an equal with the same capabilities as the other Recruits, possibly more.
My crush had been inescapable.
He'd caught me and he didn't even know it.
Hence, when I spotted him with the woman kissing near the Pack house like they couldn't live without each other, I had realised my crush could only be a crush that would fizzle out in time. There was no point in chasing something I knew I couldn't have, so I pretended I was the same Pen. Crazy, loud and sarcastic Pen. Sometimes I could barely shield away my crush. I slipped so many times, I was convinced Alexei would've caught on to it.
But then he had changed towards me.
After I had entered the Pack as an official member of the Elite Syndicate, he had avoided me. It was such a sudden shift; I was left reeling without any firm ground to regain balance. I was at first baffled, but I grew to accept it. I guess it was part of my survival tools, to accept the bad and just deal with it.
We'd become nothing but associates. I eventually embraced it and my crush simmered to non-existent. I still thought he was hot but other that, I had trained myself to not think of Alexei as anyone but a fellow Enforcer.
That light, inexplicable feeling bubbling in my chest reminded me of how it felt when I used to think he created the sun, moon and stars.
Alexei had gone still at one point. I couldn't tell what he was thinking because his expression had been wiped clean of any telling emotion. I couldn't read him. It was frustrating. "I didn't know."
A dry laugh escaped my lips, "I don't believe you. It was so obvious."
Alexei moved away from the shelter of the tree, so I had a clear view of his face. A shard of moonlight made his face glow. "If it was obvious, it wasn't obvious to me."
"How?"
His jaw ticked as he tried to find his words. I waited, hugging my arms around my waist. Surely, there couldn't be a good explanation. I had factored all the things he could've mentioned but I didn't expect his next words either.
"I forced myself not to look at you in any way but an Enforcer."
"What do you mean?" I asked, baffled. "Why would you need to do that?"
"Because I started to look at you differently Penelope."
"Like a little sister?" I supplied, trying to help as well as trying to hide my distaste.
"Like a woman Penelope. I started to look at you like a woman I wanted to fuck. A woman I wanted to sleep and wake up next to. A woman I wouldn't mind having around me. The kind of woman I would gladly keep to myself if she so wished."
I felt the air in my lungs whistle out from my lips.
"I wanted you. I couldn't look at you too long because I wanted. You had just entered the Pack as an Elite Syndicate Enforcer Penelope. That was your dream. You said so yourself. I could see the determination resurrect something in you. I admired it. I adored you. I wanted to help you achieve those dreams. I wasn't going to be the person to wreck it. Anything between us wouldn't have happened. I respect the rules of the Pack too much and you had finally got what you wanted but this thing now...it changes everything Penelope. Everything. I want this. I want you."
I had to be dreaming.
Breathe Penelope. Breathe.
I was in danger of falling face first into the grass, but Alexei's gaze watched me, searching my expression.
"Then what are you doing all the way there?" I asked, my words a gentle whisper in the wind.
Alexei took in my expression again, probing. I let my feelings surface, showing him what I was feeling.
A satisfied look crossed his eyes as he prowled towards me.
I held still, waiting.
When he was close enough that I could hear his thunderous heart, I tipped my chin up, catching his burning eyes.
He peered down at me; his gaze locked on my lips. "Give me that mouth Penelope." The words sounded a lot more like a plea than a command.
I fisted the collar of his suit and tugged him down. I heard the hitch of his breath before I claimed his lips in an open mouth kiss.
I felt his hands immediately grasp my hips, pulling me closer until his hips pressed mine.
A moan escaped me as his teeth nipped my bottom lip, before his tongue swept inside my mouth, teasing me. His lips felt like silk, and he knew how to use it, applying just the right amount of pressure. His lips moved expertly down the length of my neck, sucking the skin there and flicking the sensitive spot with his tongue. I arched into his touch, reeling at the feeling of his teeth as he nipped along my jaw and took my mouth again with fervour.
My eyes were closed, and I felt nothing but the way his lips manipulated mine into a heated dance. My fingers had a mind of their own, tangling into his hair and gripping it hard so he wouldn't leave. He groaned in response, and I captured the sound with my lips, tugging playfully at his lower, plump lip. He trembled slightly under my touch as he held my jaw and kissed me until I felt my lips become tender.
I reluctantly eased away but not before brushing three more kisses along his lips that he accepted with a small, secretive grin.
"We should head back before they start wondering where we are." I told him, licking my lips, still tasting him there. I didn't want to leave yet. My feet refused to inch away from his close proximity.
"We have time." He looped an arm around my waist and hauled me closer until our chests pressed together. "And I wasn't done sampling these lips." His eyelids lowered as he dove for my mouth again.
I did nothing but surrender.
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