"Have you heard of CGL relationships?" The psychiatrist asked me.

"Uhm... no." I said in confusion. I hadn't ever heard of that.

"What about DDLG relationships?" She asked, and I stiffened immediately.

This was not where I was expecting the conversation to go, and I sure as hell wasn't comfortable with her telling me to adopt that lifestyle. I didn't know enough about it to judge, but I had my problems with what I knew. Maybe I didn't understand it, which is completely possible, but I just didn't want to practice it. It really wasn't my thing.

If it was truly the right thing for Kiara though, and I truly believed that she would be better off practicing it, I might consider it. But I'm completely uncomfortable with practicing it at the moment and can't see myself ever doing that.

"Yes." I said hesitantly.

"What do you know about it?" She questioned.

"Not much." I said in mortification, wishing she would move on.

"Alright... so you seem to be against it? Or what I mean to ask, I guess, is that you would never practice it, correct?" The psychiatrist asked.

"Definitely not." I said instantly, not trying to hide anything. It just wasn't something I was comfortable doing.

"Oh... you seem as though you think that's what I wanted to hear." The psychiatrist said.

The way she spoke to me and the way she spoke to Kiara were infinitely different. With me she held an expression that gave away nothing about what she was thinking.

"It's an honest answer if that's what you're getting at." I sighed.

"No. I know it's an honest answer. But why was it so strong? What's wrong with the relationship you think of?" She asked me.

"Well, how I see it, not that I know much.... I feel the little is taken advantage of. Clearly, they seem to have some sort of emotional trauma, or they're sensitive at least... The last thing they would need is to have a sexual relationship with a person who is acting as their only caregiver, not to mention they're calling the person 'Daddy' and associating them with a father figure. Next thing you know, they break up and the little, who already had their problems, is shattered beyond repair." I sighed, rubbing my little kiwi's back.

I knew some girls were interested in the idea of calling a man Daddy in bed. But I viewed that different than I did the lifestyle. I didn't necessarily think that it was wrong or horrible, I didn't know enough about it. I just never wanted to practice it myself. I wasn't into it.

"Hm... it is risky. You're correct." The psychiatrist said.

I nodded, happy that we were agreeing on that.

"What about Kiara? She acts exactly the way a little would. She regresses into a child-like state. It's called age regression and with her it's involuntary as far as I can tell. She treats you the way a little girl would treat her caregiver. You treat her the way a caregiver would treat his little, in a way." The psychiatrist said.

"No.... I try to do what's best for her. I protect her, I give her what she needs and I try my best to make her happy. I am her legal caregiver but... I don't punish her or sleep with her." I argued.

Maybe I treated her the way a 'Daddy' would treat his 'little', but I don't even know what that genuinely looks like and I don't want to know. I want to stay the same with Kiara. This relationship doesn't need to become that complicated. I believe it's fine the way it is.

"Alright. So if you took the DDLG lifestyle, but took away the punishments and sex.... you would practice it?" She asked me.

I frowned.

I want to have sex with Kiara eventually though.

"You just said that I already was." I frowned.

"Alright. What happens when you fall in love with the precious girl that you're taking care of? When you want to sleep with her? She already loves you. So what? Would you sleep with another woman and break her heart? Or would you never sleep with anyone?" The psychiatrist asked me. "I'm not suggesting a sexual relationship. I'm suggesting a kind of therapy, but I believe that you need to have some kind of power exchange. She needs punishments in order to learn."

I huffed angrily. I just wasn't comfortable with the idea of such a relationship. I wanted things with me and Kiara to stay the way they were until we could both figure stuff out and settle down. Was that really so unreasonable?

"I agree that it can be harmful to someone as fragile as a 'little' to call a man 'daddy' and then to be expected to please the same man sexually. She needs that kind of freeing experience where she lets go of the responsibilities of an adult life, and the 'daddy' takes full advantage of it. It's something that could easily become abusive and terrible. But it also can be therapeutic for someone like Kiara." The psychiatrist told me. "She already regresses as you have noticed, but she needs some guidance because she has no normal life experience. So she needs to have rules and consequences for not following them. That's the only way she'll learn."

I shook my head in annoyance. Things were going well for Kiara and I, and if I practiced this, I feel like they would spiral out of control. I don't have the capability to practice this lifestyle, I would be uncomfortable and become a horrible caregiver.

"She's fine the way she is. I don't really know what's going on with the lifestyles. Age regression or DDLG or whatever it is. I think the way I'm handling it is fine. I think rules and punishments are exactly what I should avoid after what she's been through." I said.

"Listen. Just think about it, alright?" Dr. Sallow suggested. "She needs a dominant man who can be her source of guidance and teach her about life and how to act. You're already treating her as your little, because she's regressing and that doesn't mean she has to use that title with you. Think about it alright? What I recommend is that you begin to set rules for her and have punishments."

"Absolutely not!" I outright refused the second I heard the word 'punishment'.

I couldn't imagine ever telling Kiara not to do something and then punishing her for doing it. She didn't deserve that. I wanted to create an environment for her to explore things freely. I didn't even want rules for Kiara.

"Alright. No one will push you. But I advise you to do what's best for the woman you love. She needs to eat. She needs to start being happy and forgetting the past. She needs someone to tell her what she's expected to do and what's completely ridiculous. She was trained to serve and that's what she's going to try and do. If you were to implement rules that prevented her from overworking herself as she attempted to serve you, she would recover from her twisted mentality much faster." The psychiatrist told me.

She had tried to serve me. She cleaned the entire cabin and started baking before following me to the villa.

"I can tell her what I'd like and what she doesn't need to do, but I will by no means punish her or harm her in any way." I growled.

"No one asked you to harm her. Have you heard of time out, or taking away privileges?" Dr. Sallow asked me.

I brought my hand to my forehead, letting it rub my forehead slightly as I tried to think what to do or say. I just didn't want to punish her or do anything to make me the bad guy. Maybe that was selfish, maybe it wasn't what was best. But I truly believed that giving her the utmost freedom was right for her. All I wanted was to be the person she trusted to be around as she explored things for the first time, as she made decisions and messed up and learned from those mistakes. It felt wrong to dictate everything and then punish her because she's struggling to adapt.

"Relax. You don't have to do this. Or accept what you're living.... Just tell me what you're thinking." Dr. Sallow insisted.

"I don't want to punish her. She hasn't done anything in need of punishment. My rules will be petty and if she breaks them it won't be something that needs punishment." I said.

"Alright. What will your rules be then? Just give me an example." Dr. Sallow tried.

"That she needs to eat. Even if she doesn't feel like it, and even if we have to cry and struggle, she needs to eat... only because it would make it easier for me if I didn't have to sit there and wait for her to finally eat. But I'm willing to do that for her, I'm willing to wait as long as it takes so that it's not forced when she starts eating properly. I don't want her to be dependent on me. I want her to start becoming independent." I explained.

"Ok. If she broke the eating rules though, she would be hurting herself, slowly killing herself. If she knows not to break the rules, all you have done in the end is protect her." Dr. Sallow explained.

"I refuse to punish her for struggling. She struggles with eating, and I'm helping her through it. She doesn't need to be punished for her hurt." I said angrily.

"You're a bit of a softie, that's fine. Don't follow through with punishments. But make the rules clear at least." She told me.

"What would that achieve? I don't want her life with me to be in any way resembling the one she had at that facility." I sighed.

"You think she had rules at the facility? There were probably no rules, she had to figure them out on her own. That's why she's so quiet and reluctant to speak. She was likely tortured for the simplest of things, like crying or speaking." Dr. Sallow explained. "Giving her rules will liberate her, she will understand what to do and what not to do."

"Why can't I just tell her without making it a rule?" I complained, and I felt Kiara shift in my lap. I changed our position and I made sure that Kiara was the most comfortable she could be.

"You can just tell her without making it a rule. But let me ask you something. Did you not punish her for not eating yesterday? You made her stay up which for the record I would've killed my husband for, and made her eat fruits. All she wanted was sleep after an emotionally exhausting day. It was a punishment and it was because she didn't eat." She told me.

"It was necessary. She needed to eat and I didn't want to be punishing her nor did I intend for it to be a punishment." I sighed.

"Your intentions are irrelevant at this point. You punished her whether you intended to or not and it wasn't at all fair to her. If she had known that she was expected to eat and that she wouldn't be allowed to sleep if she didn't, she probably would've just saved you both the trouble." Dr. Sallow told me.

"That's not true. She knew I wasn't going to let her sleep until she ate and still, it took her so long to give in. She's testing me right now. She's still trying to get used to what she can and can't get out of me. The food thing isn't what you think it is, it's more complicated. She won't just eat because of a punishment. But regardless, I don't want to live like that." I sighed.

"You already are. The way you reprimand her when she's being a little difficult and try to push her when she refuses to do something. You are living the lifestyle already. But you're doing it in a way that will confuse her. A simple time out would do as punishment." The woman said.

"And how would that make her feel? She's struggling with sucking on her thumb, and now time out? I don't want her to feel like I see her as a child." I explained.

"Then do something else. Something she would find displeasing, but something that she wouldn't completely despise." Dr. Sallow said.

"Imagine me telling her I was going to set rules and punish her if she didn't follow them. Do you know how much that would hurt the trust we've built. She trusts me because she finally sees I would never harm her or make her even the least bit uncomfortable. I want it to stay that way." I argued.

"Ok. She already trusts you. So why would you sitting down and maturely explaining rules to her do any kind of harm?" Dr. Sallow asked me.

"Because I'm not her father. I may be her caregiver, but I'm not here to control her or tell her what to do. Just provide comfort and care when it's needed. I hope to eventually start a romantic relationship with her and marry her and start a family with her. And a husband never has the right to tell his wife what to do and what not to do. I can't and will not attempt to control her." I sighed.

"Ok. You're right. But she's severely traumatized, Vidal. She's not in a state to be making her own decisions." The woman said.

"Yeah, you're right. But eventually she's going to be strong enough to do that. Which is why I'm here to be there for her when she's still recovering. I'll guide her, show her what's a good decision and what's a bad one. She'll never learn if I take all of her control away from her." I said.

"Ok. I still think you're missing my point. I mean look at her." The woman said.

"What? She acts like a fragile child?" I asked.

"You said it yourself." The woman said.

"Yeah, she can feel free to act however she wants or needs to. I'll always be around to baby her as much as she needs. I'll carry her around, let her suck on her thumb, shower her with excessive amounts of love. But taking freedom from her is a hard limit for me." I said.

It wasn't so much about the lifestyle itself, it was about me not thinking it was best for Kiara and being uncomfortable with practicing it. It just wasn't for us. I wasn't up for it. I couldn't take control even if I decided it was best, I didn't have the heart to do that because I believed it was wrong for her.

"Vidal... she never got a proper childhood. She's completely lost right now. You could say she doesn't know right from wrong, yet." The woman told me.

"I think that you don't know my girl. She knows right from wrong better than any of us. But I'll think about what you've said and I'll talk to her." I sighed, not wanting to continue this conversation any further.

"Alright. I suggest you clue her in a little bit about our conversation." She told me.

I nodded my head, ready to get out of this office now.

"Alright, do you think that she's going to need to suck her thumb for much longer. Like is it something she'll get over soon?" She asked me.

"I'm not sure. She hates it, so I'm trying to find other ways to calm her unless we're in an emergency situation." I said.

"Alright. So I suggest if it's something she's going to be stuck with for an extended period of time, get her an adult pacifier at least." The doctor said to me.

I nodded and kissed my girl on her forehead, looking down at her precious little face and pulling her thumb out of her mouth.

"Other than that, I think we're done here. Is there anything else you want to talk about?" Dr. Sallow asked me, smiling and standing to her feet.

"No." I said, standing as well.

"If you have more questions you can ask them now and if any new questions come up, please feel free to message me." She said.

I nodded and tightened my hold on Kiara so I could hold her with one arm. I freed one hand, shaking hands with the doctor and then leaving as quickly as my feet could carry me.

I didn't need to fly back to the island anymore, we could finally settle down here. So I just went to the mansion and took my angel to my room. As I set her down on the bed she stirred gently.

"Mmm... n-no.... Vivi." She whispered, her hand grabbing the air in search of me.

She pulled me into the bed as soon as her hand found me and she placed her cold toes in between my thighs and hummed in delight. I had noticed that she was very at one with her toes. She used them to test things quite often. Like the temperature of the water when I took her to the beach and the texture of the sand. I held her for a while and I got some work done as she slept.

"Vivi, can we go see the animals again?" Her voice suddenly said.

I wasn't even aware she had woken up. I smiled down at her and nodded.

"We can. But we need to eat some breakfast first." I said.

"It's one." She said to me, trying to argue.

"That doesn't matter. We need to eat." I said to her.

"But I don't like eating." She pouted, trying her best to get out of this.

And the struggle began once again.