It had been a few minutes since I ended up in Vidal's lap. I was scared that he would bend me over his knee and punish me for doing something wrong. I wasn't sure what I'd done wrong, but I always did something wrong. Always.

I'm just stupid. Stupid Kiara. Always messing up.

The rules are simple. I just have to follow them.

If they say no sound, that means no sound. Why can't I just shut up?

I'm not a baby. If something hurts I don't always have to scream like a child.

"You ok?" Vidal asked me.

He kept asking questions, clearly hoping for a response. But the rules were simple, if you talk, you suffer.

Why does he want me to be hurt? Why is everyone so determined to cause me pain? I didn't do anything to them.

Maybe it's because I'm ugly so he just doesn't like me?

I just don't understand why people like to see other people in pain. I just don't want to hurt anymore.

"Alright, I guess not. I'm sorry. I won't hurt you. You're ok." He promised me. But I didn't know if I could trust him.

I didn't understand why I was in that white room and how I got there. I just wanted to know where I was and what they were going to do to me.

He was quiet for a while after that, occasionally shifting so he was sitting with his back against the back of the bed. I was going to stay right there in his lap for the foreseeable future. There was no way I was leaving the safety of being stuck to him like this. No one could hurt me and neither could he because it would hurt him in the process. At least that's what I chose to believe.

I didn't dare to move, holding tightly onto him. He was very warm and comfortable. I wondered how this would end. I was so scared of what would happen when I had to let go. If it was up to me, I would stay in his lap forever. It was cozy. But I knew that eventually they'd drag me away from him.

I knew things were going downhill for me when I started to get drowsy. I felt myself growing weaker as my eyes started to close. I was slumped against his chest now, and he was playing with my hair. He had been quiet for a very long time, just playing with my hair and twisting it around his fingers.

He smelled very nice, he was warm and I actually felt safe for once. But I just couldn't let myself sleep. If I slept, who knows where I'd wake up. I just wanted to stay where I was.

"Hey. I'm back." The older man said as he suddenly burst back into the room.

I wonder why they all burst into rooms like that. Don't they realize they're being a little dramatic?

They were scaring me, that's for sure. My body acted on its own and I found myself jumping up abruptly in Vidal's arms.

"Woah... you're ok." Vidal said, his hand coming down gently on my head.

"What happened to keeping a distance?" Rico asked.

"It just happened, ok? She's fine." Vidal said, lifting one of the blankets from the bed and throwing it over me.

"Fine. Since this seems to be working out. Make sure she eats." Rico said, coming closer and making me cower away.

"Hey. I've got you. He's nice. He won't hurt you. No one will." Vidal said.

"Here." Rico said, placing a bowl on the table beside us. "I thought the hospital food was a definite no go. But her stomach probably isn't used to heavy food, I thought fruits might be a happy medium."

Hospital food?

Is that where I am?

I'm in a hospital?

But why? I'm not hurt? Not more than usual anyway. This was normal.

I blacked out... maybe they did something to me after I'd blacked out.

Maybe this was my sterilization visit? They sterilized me so I would never have kids. That way I could just be a sex toy.

That's all I am. All I'll ever be to people. Just a worthless toy.

A large lump formed in my throat.

I don't want to be sterile.

I don't want to be a sex toy.

Does this happen to most girls or is it just me?

That kind of life was all I knew. But I was pretty sure it wasn't the case for everyone. Just me and my cursed life.

I wished I could just run away. But what was I meant to do? I didn't know anything. I'd die all alone with nowhere to stay. I'd either starve or get raped and killed. I knew that.

"Alright, thank you." Vidal said, moving the bowl of fruit.

Curiosity overpowered all other feelings for a moment and I ended up peeking into the bowl. I had never had any fruits before. I'd seen pictures and learned about fruits. But usually I was just given pills with all the nutrients I needed to keep me alive and then told not to eat the disgusting things they gave me.

When I looked at the so called fruits, I just saw colourful cubes and I felt betrayed. They didn't have to lie in front of me. I knew what fruits looked like, I'd seen pictures and those colourful cubes were not fruits. That I knew.

The Rico man left and Vidal grabbed the bowl.

"Why don't you eat some mango?" He asked me, pointing to the orange cubes. My knowledge was being challenged here. I was fairly certain that mangoes were large and round, not small cubes. The colour seemed accurate enough though.

I looked away from the bowl of deceptions and he sighed, setting the bowl down.

"Are you just not hungry?" He asked.

I hid my head in his shirt and didn't respond.

"I don't know much about you. I still don't know your name. What's your name?" He asked me.

I didn't respond. I was certain that, that was how he was going to trap me. He was going to act all nice and then right when I give him my trust, he'd hurt me.

"No response... Alright. That's ok." He said, tucking some hair behind my ear. He was a big person, his muscles were scary, his size intimidating. But he was so big that I could almost disappear in his lap, which was very useful.

I saw him take out what looked like a phone, but it had been so long since I'd seen one and this one looked like it was made completely of glass, so I wasn't certain that that's what it was. He started typing and strange sounds came out of it. I watched his fingers glide across the screen from the corner of my eye.

I stroked Bunny softly. I knew it was stupid. But Bunny was my best friend. He was there for me my whole life. The only solid thing in my life was Bunny. I liked to think he was capable of emotion even though I knew he wasn't. I just tried to associate the emotions I felt with the bunny. That way he was a better friend.

I held Bunny tightly, only feeling safe if he was in my arms.

"What's his name?" Vidal asked, his fingers raking through my hair as he looked down at me.

I didn't respond. He had found my soft spot and he was trying to mess with me. He was so desperate for me to speak that it had to mean he wanted to hit me for it. No one had ever been this persistent about me speaking.

Besides, I knew the rules well. Stay silent or suffer a punishment that will leave you silent all your life.

"I really don't intend on harming you." He told me.

Lies. They have to be.

"I just... I don't know what happened to you, so... it would help if I knew something." He said to me.

Don't say anything, Kiara.

It's a trick.

He just wants to whip you.

"Alright... it's ok. Take your time. I won't force you to speak." He said.

There was a long pause before he spoke again.

"You can hear me, right?" He asked me suddenly.

I looked up at him in confusion. I wasn't deaf. He knew that.

"Alright. So you can. Aren't you hungry?" He asked, offering me the plate of food.

I knew I had messed up. I just wish I knew what I'd done. Why did he want to hurt me so badly? I knew I wasn't supposed to eat either. I wouldn't be punished for it, unless he was extra cruel.

But he was lying to me. He said it was fruit but it was strangely vibrant cubes. I didn't even know if they were edible. They looked too beautiful to be edible. All the pretty colours in one bowl together.

"Please? Just eat one piece of mango." He said to me, picking the soft orange ball up and bringing it to my lips.

Maybe it was poisoned and that's why he wanted me to eat it so badly. I moved away slightly and then I heard something loud smash behind me.

I panicked, clearly he'd thrown something because he didn't like that I wasn't listening. I figured it was a better idea to follow his orders than the rules. So I quickly took the orange cube in my mouth and whimpered as I clutched his shirt more tightly.

The mango tasted like absolute heaven though. I had never tasted anything more delicious in my entire life. The flavour almost seemed to explode through my mouth. It was delicious. I wanted more. I wanted it all the time. I never wanted to stop eating it.

I was overwhelmed. From the thing that smashed behind me and the threat of pain, to the beautiful taste of the mango. My entire body shook and large tears streamed down my face. I felt him lean behind me and he grabbed his phone.

"I'm so sorry. That probably scared you, huh? It was just my phone falling off the bed. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry." He said and his voice shook with what seemed to be worry.

I looked up at him and saw his eyes wide with concern.

"You ok?" He asked, bringing his hand towards my face and making me flinch hard.

One hit from him was enough to kill me. I was all skin and bones, just the way men liked it apparently. I was too weak to defend myself. Too short and skinny to be able to handle one blow from his strong hand.

"Woah... I won't hurt you. Relax." He said softly, wiping away my tears and pushing my hair back again.

This man was frustrating. He made me want to believe him, but I wasn't stupid. I knew no one loved me enough to be nice.

Who am I kidding? I know I'm just an ugly girl who was going to be sold to be nothing but a sex toy.

I still remembered their words.

"With a face as nauseating as this one, you're only hope is obedience and this sexy body."

"No one is going to like to look at you, so learn to shut your mouth and follow orders."

"All you'll ever be is a little ragdoll to play with."

"Hey, you ok?" He asked. "Do you want another piece of mango?"

I looked down at the mangoes.

My head was all over the place. I didn't know what to think, what to trust. I didn't know if I'd been sterilized and sold or if this man was actually nice and I'd been saved. I didn't want to be a toy. I wanted to be Kiara.

"Will you eat if I look away?" He asked.

I examined the bowl and his large fingers grabbed another little orange cube and brought it to my mouth. The temptation was too strong. I ended up taking it between my lips and flinching every time his hand moved.

I knew it would make me fat. I knew I shouldn't eat. I knew I needed to stop before he punished me. But I couldn't help it. I was hungry and it tasted so good.

I sobbed as I accepted orange cube after orange cube from his fingers.

"There you go. Forget everything, you're safe. Eat a blueberry." He said, picking up a blue sphere. It wasn't a cube this time. But I'd never seen blueberries or really heard of them. I wondered if they were as good as mangoes.

I just went for it. If he would hurt me for this, it was honestly still worth the experience. Even if it killed me, it would end this misery. I wanted him to keep giving me these beautiful tasting things. Fruits or not, they were delicious and I no longer cared if it challenged what I already knew.

"Do you like them?" He asked me as I chewed on the little sphere. It was delicious as well, the taste wasn't as aggressive. But it was delicious. I ate all the blueberries and then he picked up a little pink and red chunk. It wasn't a cube but it was close enough.

"Strawberry?" He asked, bringing it to my lips.

I cried harder at the taste and he continued bringing piece after piece to my mouth.

After that he reached out and he grabbed a green cube with little black specks on some of them.

"Kiwis..." He said softly.

I examined them, seeing how some had some white parts and some were free of the black specks.

"I like these a lot." He smiled.

He brought one to my lips and I bit into it. It was very different from the others. Much less sweet.

"These ones match your eyes, don't they? Your pretty green eyes." He said to me, wiping away more of my tears while I was too distracted by the explosion of flavour.

I rubbed my irritated eyes and he fed me another kiwi slice. It tasted good but it made my body shiver a little from the little sting it had in its taste.

"Is it too sour? Sorry about that." He chuckled, gently raking his fingers through my hair as I relaxed a little.

I wanted more. I liked kiwi.

"You want more?" He asked me.

I looked at the kiwi and then at him. He really, really wanted me to talk.

He fed me the rest of the kiwi even though he hadn't gotten an answer from me and then he smiled.

"All done." He said to me, brushing my hair away from my face.

I wanted more, but I'd never dare say that.

Kiwis were my favourite. Even though they were a little sour and made me shiver. There was something special about them. Maybe it was because he said he liked them and I did too. Maybe that's what made them special. Or maybe it was how he told me my eyes were pretty and shared the same colour.

I had come to the conclusion that no matter what, I preferred this hospital and it's colourful cubes a lot more than the other place I was in. I also preferred Vidal over anyone else I'd ever seen. Even if he was lying, he was nice right now, and that's all I needed for the time being.