"Don't act all innocent, Alex. I remember how I had to drag you out of that taxi as well because you were too wasted to stand on your own two feet," Martha chuckles and in response, everybody laughs except for Alex who is shaking his head furiously.

"Miss F, with all due respect, I was the one that pulled that shithead of a son of yours out of that fountain. Without me, I'm sure he'd lay in there until the next morning."

I giggle as I picture what Alex's describing in my head. Apparently, Hero and his three friends go way back, and they are now going over the first time they were all drunk. At the end of the night, Hero decided to go for a swim, and he thought the perfect location for that was a fountain in a park.

Next to me, Hero slides his thumb and forefinger over his eyebrows while his head is bowed slightly. I've noticed how he does that when he feels awkward or ashamed, and it somehow makes my heart beat a little faster. It's because I'm getting to know the small things that make him, him.

His arm is thrown over my shoulder and he's pulled me against him as we sit in the corner of the couch. Martha a sitting next to me with Daisy. She's been sleeping in her arms for about an hour now, and I expect her to wake up any minute since it's almost time for her feeding.

Around us, all his friends have made themselves comfortable. Miryam has kicked off her shoes and is sitting in the other corner of the couch, a glass of wine in her hand while she loudly laughs at Alex's animated defense. Alex is sitting on the ground in front of the Christmas tree, a mixed drink in his hand.

Morgz, which is Morgan for short I've come to figure out, is sitting in a chair that he dragged away from the dining table, and Felix and Elif are sitting on the ground while they lean against the couch. It's clear that they indeed have things going on; they are now cuddled up, but according to Hero that's because they both have been drinking a good amount of alcohol. From what I've heard, they did things and now Elif wants more while Felix doesn't.

Mercy has left an hour ago since she's doing the countdown with her friends. Afterward, she's planning on going out, just like Hero's friends. They will all leave after twelve because there are all kinds of parties going on.

I've asked Hero if he wants to join them two times tonight. He looks so comfortable and happy around his friends, and I hate to be the one that breaks a tradition they have for so long. The first time I asked him, he politely reassured me that he wanted to stay with me and Daisy and that he wouldn't leave me alone. The second time I asked, about an hour or two later, he was less polite and even a little irritated. He stated that he wouldn't want to be anywhere but with me, and he didn't give me a chance to argue.

And although I really don't want him to give up the traditions that he's built with his friends just because he feels it's the right thing to do to stay with me, I'm so happy that he stays. And deep down I know that staying here, with me and Daisy, is the thing that Hero wants most as well.

The whole night he's been by my side. Ninety percent of the time, his arm has been wrapped around me protectively and reassuringly, and the other ten percent he carefully watched me and made eye contact with me to make sure I was okay.

And now that he's had a few drinks -not many because he explained that since he's a police officer, he doesn't get very drunk anymore and especially not now Daisy is here too- he's fully pulling me against him, not caring about the stares of his friends or his mom.

I've drank two glasses of wine, and now I've switched to iced tea. I'd never drank iced tea, but I'm on my third glass now because I like it that much. It's not too sweet, but it's refreshing and I don't think I can only drink water ever again. I also think the wine I had has made me a little thirsty, and it has definitely made me a little braver.

There is a nice tingle floating through my veins and my cheeks seem permanently hot. Of course, that's to be expected since I'd never had alcohol before.

And although the idea of alcohol always scared me because of the effect I've seen that was caused by it, I feel the complete opposite now. I feel at ease, and most importantly, safe. His arm around me and his goofy yet sweet smile make me feel safe. I know that he -whatever happens, and no matter his or my state- will take care of me. I know he would never let anything happen to me.

"Ten minutes to midnight, kids," Martha pipes up while looking at her watch. She then stands and carefully hands Daisy, who is starting to wake up, in my arms. "We should get the champagne and glasses ready."

Around us, Hero's friends come into action right away; standing up from the couch and the floor to help Martha prepare. For some reason, Hero and I stay put on the couch, and when I do try to stand once, Hero pulls me back against him with his arm. "Are you having fun?" His accent is heavy still, now not talking any differently to me. His lips are pressing against my ear, and it sends shivers straight through me in a way that tickles.

"I am. Your friends are very nice." I turn my head so I can look at him and smile at him. He's close. His nose is almost touching mine, and I can smell the minty, winy scent from his breath.

"Yeah? You like them?" A relieved smile appears and his arm around me tightens slightly.

I nod. I do like them. I haven't been talking alone with them much. Only to Miryam, and she mostly asked about Daisy who was laying in my arms. But she was very interested and genuinely nice. Elif too; with every glass of alcohol, she became less mean to everyone. "They've been very nice."

Hero hums, his hand sliding over Daisy's hair as he leans his cheek against my head. "She's been a doll the whole night."

"She has," I agree. Daisy has been the perfect baby; she hasn't cried once, and she mostly slept in my arms or Hero's or Martha's. Mercy gave her a bottle of formula around nine, and I expect her to let me know she's hungry again any time. But as of now, she's looking at both of us with wide eyes, her two fingers in between her lips as she always does.

"In eighteen years we'll worry sick about her. She'll be out in town, chilling with friends while we sit here and wait for her to come home. The thought alone already drives me insane," he mumbles, and right after his hand stills and arm tenses. "I mean, I think. You know... I mean, she... Fuck, I had too much alcohol."

And while what he just said is something that would be my biggest wish, and while it gave me the feeling of floating just now, I can't help but giggle as he realizes what he said and how he tries to blame the alcohol even though I know he didn't have a lot.

"I hope she'll have a life like that. With a lot of friends with whom she can celebrate the new year. I really want that for her." For her, I want everything that I never got the chance to do. "You'd like that, don't you, sweetheart?" I say in my Daisy-voice, and on cue, Daisy stops sucking on her fingers. She still keeps them in her mouth, but all her focus goes to my face.

"You're gonna dance all night and have fun with friends?" I continue, my hand moving to her belly where I lightly tickle her. "You will, don't you?"

And then, the corner of her mouth lifts slightly and for just a second, she gives me a toothless, drowsy-looking smile. She doesn't do it consciously; it's too short and unsteady for that. But I'm almost sure it was there. It's so brief, at first I think I imagined it, but when I hear Hero excitedly ask, "did you see that?" I know it really happened.

"Did she just..?" I whisper, my eyes glued to my daughter who has no idea how she just made my year before it even started. She has no idea how she made my heart swell and made me the proudest mom in the whole world just now. She's sucking on her fingers again, her eyes still on us but her focus is lost now that I'm not speaking to her anymore.

"She did," Hero mumbles before he kisses the side of my head. All the while he keeps stroking Daisy's hair. "She did. She smiled at you, Jo. I saw it."

"Oh Gosh," I mumble, suddenly feeling emotional. The tears are stinging in my eyes and for a short moment I feel all my worries regarding Daisy and if she's happy disappear. I know it doesn't mean anything since it's a reflex, but it feels like a sign. She's giving me this sign to tell me she feels happy.

Hero's arm moves around me completely, his hand on my cheek forcing me to look at him as his thumb moves over my skin. "You're an amazing mum, Jo. She loves you so much." He doesn't give me the chance to respond. It's as if he knows that I can't anyway; instead, he presses his lips against mine determinedly. There is no long staring at each other like there normally is. No careful testing the waters. It's just a firm kiss which he doesn't even deepen, but when he pulls back, I feel out of breath because it was that intense.

His breathing goes faster, just like mine. I feel it because his chest is heaving up and down rapidly. His eyes are dark and fixated on my mouth, and for some reason that only adds to the sensations and feelings his kiss inflicted.

"Two minutes, people!" Morgan shouts, and it's his excited, drunken voice that pulls Hero and me from the haze that we've been interrupted from countless times tonight.

Hero is the one that moves first; his hand slides to my shoulder blade and guides me so I'm no longer leaning against him. Then he stands from the couch, and I follow suit while switching Daisy so she's laying against my chest.

His mom and friends have all gathered around the dining table where Felix and Elif fill the glasses with champagne. After they're all full, they start handing them out.

"One minute!" Morgz shouts again, and Hero chuckles beside me. "He's shit-waisted," he mumbles while he wraps his arm around me again, his hand resting on my hip.

Heat rushes from the spot where his hand lies but I try to ignore it. I try to ignore how his fingers fold around the curve of my hip, and I try to ignore how my heart almost beats out of my chest.

When Felix hands both of us a glass of champagne, I switch Daisy so she's laying in my free arm. She's looking at the lamp that hangs above the table, her fingers in her mouth still, completely unaware of my heartbeat or the fact that we're about the leave the year that she was born in.

"Here we go! Ten, nine, eight..." Alex starts, but soon everybody joins the countdown.

"Seven, six, five," Hero mumbles along, his low voice rumbling in his chest. With each number he says, his hand folds around my hip tighter and he also pulls me against him firmer.

"Four, three, two." Everybody lifts their glass in the air except for Hero. While I look at his friends and mom, I feel that he is looking at me. I'm so aware of his eyes on me, I feel the hairs stand on my entire body. And for the hundredth time tonight, I wonder what is happening to me. How can he pull this reaction out of me by just being close?

"One, Happy New Year!" His friends yell, and right after they start embracing each other while I hear the first fireworks go off outside.

"Happy New Year, love," Hero whispers in my ear, and when I turn my head, I find him just inches from my face. He has a sweet, one-dimpled smile on his face, and his hand has moved from my hip to my cheek.

"Happy New Year," I manage to get out in a heavy, hoarse whisper, the tone making him chuckle. And then, he does what he'd asked me permission for. He leans down and captures my lips with his, kissing me slowly.

At first, he doesn't move his mouth. He just presses against me firmly, his hand sliding to the back of my neck. Only when I open my mouth because I crave more, he follows me. I take his full lower lip in between my own, testing the waters. I have no idea what I'm doing, but my body seems to take action on its own accord.

And Hero effortlessly catches on. His lips mold around mine with ease, and soon, I'm completely lost on where I am or who is with us. It's just us. He and me, and even though the kiss isn't nearly as intense as the others we've shared, it's still making me dizzy.

"Jo," Hero mumbles against my mouth before he pulls back slowly. His breathing is heavy, just like mine, and his expression has changed drastically. He looks flushed, and judging on how I feel, I do not doubt that I look the same. "I'm fucking happy I kicked in that door."

I smile and am about to tell him that I'm too happy that it was him, but a squirming Daisy pulls my attention away from him. She has raised her fists, and she's moving in my arms which tells me she isn't comfortable.

When I've lifted her to my chest, I bow my head so my lips are touching her soft hairs. "Happy New Year, sweetheart. You've changed everything." I kiss her head twice, inhaling her soapy, Daisy-scent. "I love you."

When I pull my nose out of her hair, I find Hero looking at us. He has a loving expression on his face, and I can tell he is patiently waiting for me to hand her over so he can wish her a Happy New Year properly. When I give Daisy to him, his face lights up before he cradles her against his chest in a way that almost makes me jealous.

"Happy New Year, Dais." His hand slowly moves up and down her back while he kisses the top of her head.

The way he calls her Dais instead of Daisy somehow only now makes my stomach flutter. It's just the whole way he is with her. Gentle, patient, but so secure and easy, it's truly amazing that this man only knows us for eighteen days.

And while his mom and friends make their way to us to wish us a Happy Nee Year as well, Hero keeps acting just like he always does; with one arm wrapped around my waist and in his other Daisy. Gentle, patient, and with ease. I love him.

"She's asleep?" Hero asks as he puts his phone on the bedside table next to him. He then turns so he is facing me, and follows every move I make as I slide underneath the covers next to him.

"Yes. She didn't even manage to drink her whole bottle." I smile as I think about how she was sleeping in my arms, the bottle still in her mouth but completely knocked out.

"Watching all the fireworks has worn her out," Hero chuckles while moving his hand under his head. He isn't wearing a shirt, and the sheet is just stopping underneath his pec. I can't seem to tear my eyes from the lines of his bicep.

"I think so too," I mumble while I lay my head on the pillow before turning on my side so I'm facing him.

Right after we wished everybody a Happy New Year, Hero and I moved to the window to watch the fireworks. Daisy's eyes turned big too as she followed the flickering lights in the air, completely forgetting about how she was almost crying moments before.

Hero's friends left soon after twelve, and while I changed Daisy into her pajamas and gave her the bottle, Martha and Hero quickly cleaned everything up. It wasn't a huge mess; Hero's friends are descent and I have to admit that even though they all had enough to drink, they stayed friendly.

"I had fun tonight. I like your friends and your mom is an angel," I tell him as I move my hand underneath my cheek. He has turned to face me completely as well, and the left corner of his mouth is raised to which appears one dimple in his cheek.

"She is," he agrees. "My friends liked you, just like I knew they would."

"Elif too?" I ask, not sure if she likes me that much. I've talked to all his friends during the night, except for Elif. She seemed a little distant.

"I'm sure she does. She's just busy with herself at the moment. She wants something that Felix doesn't want, or at least not yet. They had sex, and she wants more." He shrugs, seemingly not impressed by the struggle she's dealing with. "They'll figure it out, I reckon."

"I hope so," I mumble.

A comfortable, short silence falls between us. Hero is looking at me, and the color of his eyes brings me back to that moment we had in the kitchen. The way he scans my face, the way he licks his lips, it makes me nervous in a weird, unknown way.

"Come here." He speaks first, holding his arm up so I can scoot underneath it. When my head is laying on his pillow too, he drapes his arm around me, his hand resting on my lower back underneath the covers. "I meant what I said. I'm happy I found you. You and Dais changed my life." His eyes are almost burning holes into mine; he's that serious.

"Me too." I'm caught off guard by his intense stare, but I feel exactly the same as him. It's been eighteen days, yet I wouldn't know what my life would look like without him. He didn't just change my life, he saved it.

He smiles, his eyes flickering to my lips once before his hand folds around the back of my neck. A moment later, he comes closer so our noses rub together. "Every time I look at you, the need to touch you becomes bigger." He takes a deep breath, closing his eyes for a moment. When he opens them again, his eyes are a shade of green I've never seen before. They are blazing and bright, and I can't help but wonder if that's what mine looks like too.

After he's stroked his nose against mine a few times, he tilts my head by moving the hand in my neck. And then, again without warning or intense staring, he plants his mouth on mine.

This time, he doesn't wait for me to move my mouth; he goes in fully prepared, his lips forcing mine to part the moment they connect. When his tongue slowly slides in between and rubs against mine, he lets out a low growl. My hands have found their way to his chest, and outside of the fact that I feel his heart hammering underneath my hands, I also feel the low rumble of the sounds he makes.

And as if he's taking control over my body, I make sounds as well. Sounds I've never made before. Sounds that are completely new. Sounds that I had no idea I could make, let alone that they could be inflicted by actions as kissing and someone's touch. His taste is a little different from what I've become to recognize; I taste his toothpaste, but in the far distance I detect the wine we've been drinking. I can't help but note how I love the taste more now that I taste it from his tongue.

His hand slides from my neck to my back and stops just above my behind. And while our tongues slowly tangle with each other, he pulls me flush against him.

The first thing I notice is how his body radiates heat; his chest was warm when I put my hands on it, but now that my entire body collides with his, I feel how hot it is. I feel how hot he makes me too.

The second thing I notice is how he subtly searches friction by pushing his hips forward. I know what I feel; I've felt it before when we kissed. Only this time it feels as if he lets me feel it consciously, were other times he tried to hide it.

The confusion is still there; I shouldn't want to feel him against me. I shouldn't be curious about him and what he looks or feels like. I should be disgusted and above all afraid, because of what others did to me when they were in this state.

But I can't. I can't, and even though that makes me hate myself slightly, right now the curiosity and hot feeling that rushes through me wins it from the need to fight. From the knowledge that I should fight.

Because how can someone that makes me feel the way Hero makes me feel, hurt me?