The magazine has come out with my column that Ash is doing. I've brought the magazine, but I haven't read it yet.

What if I don't like it? I thought to myself. What if my readers know it isn't me? What if Ash is way off? Or worse, what if I do like it?

I had to focus. Rowan is at school. At day care where he needs to be. I need to be studying. I took my glasses off and rubbed my eyes. I can't. I've been doing alright till now, knowing that this magazine is distracting me. I got up and placed it in the lounge room before going back to my computer, rereading the text.

My mobile buzzed and I looked at it. Ryder. I groaned as I opened the message.

Is it alright if I get Rowan from school?

I left it at that and I didn't hear anything else from him. It was only twenty minutes later that my phone went off again.

"Hello?" I asked.

"Why can't I?" Came Ryder's voice.

I groaned loudly. "Because you aren't on the paperwork for his day care. Only I am."

"Fine. I want that changed though."

"Does it matter?" I sighed.

"Yes! He is my son and I wish to be on the paperwork too. Since I can't pick him up, I'll be over later."

I froze. "What? I thought you were in Melbourne?"

"Melbourne?" Ryder echoed.

My eyes went wide. Oops. That's Luke in Melbourne.

"I was in Perth. But I'm back now, heading home. I'll be over later to pick you and Rowan up."

"What for?" I frowned.

"For dinner." Came his tone. "Or are you going to deny Rowan his father? I haven't seen him all week."

"Don't play the guilt card on me." I snapped out.

"Great. I'll see you in about four hours." I heard the line go dead and I had half a mind to ring back to abuse him, but it was Ryder, there is no getting through to that stubborn man. Once he has his mind made up, there is no changing it.

Maybe that's why he is still so persistent on me, even though I've told him countless times to stop.

I rolled my eyes and finished off the segment I was on before closing my laptop.

****

"Look Momma, plane." Rowan smiled as he showed me his new toy.

"Wow." I smiled at him.

Ryder was beaming ear to ear that he won the argument. I didn't want to go out. I was willing to let Ryder take Rowan out and I stayed home, but Ryder wouldn't have a bar of it.

"More drink, please, dad." Rowan looked at Ryder. Ryder picked up the pitcher of water when I said no.

"He can eat his dinner first. Rowan hasn't touched his food." I warned him.

"You ordered him salad with his nuggets." Ryder argued. "He ate one nugget."

"I would also like him to eat his salad. He had a lazy dinner last night and I would like for him to eat something more than processed chicken." I pointed out.

Ryder grinned at me. "It's a fancy restaurant. Do you seriously think the chicken would be processed?"

"I don't care if it is or not." I held my head up. "He can still eat some salad." I turned to Rowan. "Eat this much." I told him, dragging some salad and making two piles. "Then you can have ice cream."

Rowan liked that negotiation as he started shovelling the lettuce in to his mouth. I gave Ryder a look, the 'I won' look as I smiled.

"Come on, Rhea. The kid is only three. Cut him some slack on his food." Ryder growled under his breathe.

I don't know if he actually wanted me to hear it, but I did. "Don't tell me how to parent, Ryder." I scolded at him. "If I slack off on his diet, he will expect it all the time and the next thing I know is I'm raising a fussy kid."

Ryder leaned back in his chair, a small smile on his face. "Did we go overboard on the parenting manual's?"

I gasped as I placed my fork down. "No."

Ryder shook his head. "Sorry." He whispered out.

"Don't tell me what I should and shouldn't be doing with Rowan." I gritted. "I don't like that."

"I can tell. Just drop it. I'm sorry."

I could have continued and I would have, if we weren't in the restaurant.

Rowan finished his dinner, the portion I told him to eat as Ryder poured him another glass of water.

"Momma, I need pee." Rowan tapped on my arm.

"Okay." I got up to take Rowan to the bathroom when Ryder stopped me.

"Are you going in to the men's?"

I looked at him in confusion. "What? No! The ladies."

Ryder threw his napkin done. "No. I'll take him. He is a male. He can go to the men's."

I raised an eyebrow, but didn't argue with him, releasing Rowan's hand and sitting back down.

Ryder did have a point. Rowan will soon be wanting to use the same bathroom as every other boy. I can't keep taking him to the ladies room.

The rest of the night went a bit smoother as Ryder and Rowan played little games before he took us back home.

"Say goodnight to your dad." I told Rowan as we got to the front door.

"Night, daddy." Rowan hugged his father then ran past me to inside the house.

I wanted to get inside and get Rowan to bed, but I didn't want to invite Ryder in.

"Thanks for the dinner." I said as I tried stepping inside.

"We wouldn't have to keep doing this if you will just put your guard down." Ryder said.

Frowning, I turned to Ryder. "Yet, you're the reason I have one."

"Understandable. But I've been trying to tell you, Rhea. I won't make the same mistake twice."

I couldn't help but smirk at him. "And I won't either." I told him as I held on to my front door. I had managed to get inside, now to close the damn door.

Ryder is right about my guard being up. But I now felt like I have no control on lowering it.

"Please, Rhea. Can't we make this work somehow. Think about Rowan."

"What of him? He is happy. That's all I care about. Not my happiness."

"Well I care. If you didn't care for your happiness, why are you dating?"

I stood there, blinking profusely. "That's none of your business." But his words struck a chord. If I didn't care for my own happiness, why am I dating?

"If you just want sex, Rhea, you can just call me. I'll be more than happy to come when called, babe." I saw his smirk and the lust written in his eyes.

I gasped as I slammed the door in his face. "The balls on you." I muttered as I went to Rowan.

Flashback

"You don't have to be shy about it." Ryder laughed as Rhea covered herself.

"I'm not being shy." She defended. "I only came here with you for a book. I don't even know you!"

"Well, you just got to know me a bit more."

Rhea's face reddened. "I can't believe I did that."

Ryder sat up on the bed, his chest exposed.

"I only met you two hours ago." She shrieked as she held the wrapped blanket around her. "Where are my clothes?"

Ryder smiled as he watched Rhea search franticly for them. "I imagine where you took them off." He suggested. "In the sitting room."

Rhea dropped on to the edge of the bed. "Oh my! I'm sorry, I've never done that before." She had her head buried in her hands as parts of her ponytail escaped and hung loosely just above her shoulders.

Ryder jumped at her and pulled Rhea to him, letting her give out a small scream in fright. "I didn't mind. You can always do it again."

Rhea groaned as she tried pushing Ryder off her. But his lips went to her neck, making Rhea relax instantly, her tongue wetting her lips.

"I really shouldn't. I have a lot of studying I need to catch up on." She tried protesting, but Ryder smothered it out as he kissed her. "But I guess another thirty minutes won't hurt."

Rhea giggled as Ryder tore the blanket away, covering her with his body.

Now

I slammed the magazine down. The son of a bitch! That's not what I would have written. Ashley Grant doesn't know how I write at all.

I groaned as I sat back in the sofa, shaking my head. Why did I do this? I know I needed time off to study, but why did I agree for Ashley to take over for me?

I heard a knock on my door and I jumped up to answer it. I wouldn't be surprised to see if it was Ryder, but it wasn't.

"Luke! What a surprise!" I smiled, letting him in.

"Hey." He instantly gave me a kiss on my cheek as he stepped inside. "I know it's short notice, but do you want to do dinner tonight?"

"Dinner?" I just did dinner last night with Ryder.

"Well, if you're concerned, we can take your son as well."

I smiled at him. "That's sweet, but no. I don't want to over stimulate him." I could see I was losing Luke with the topic. "Sorry, I took Rowan out for dinner last night. I'll see if his father can have him for a few hours."

"So I can scratch off all the kid restaurants?"

I laughed at his goofy smile. "Yes. Why didn't you ring me?"

Luke shrugged. "I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, it worked. I'm surprised." I grinned as I went to him, placing a kiss on his lips. "Okay. Pick me up at six?"

"Sure."

Luke left as I shut the front door, smiling. Now to ask Ryder. I know he doesn't like me dating, but I couldn't care less about what he likes and doesn't like.

I picked up the phone and dialled Ryder's number.

"Hey." Ryder answered in a smooth voice. I felt shivers instantly go down my back.

"Ryder. Can you have Rowan for a couple hours tonight?"

"Have you got a date?" He spat. My jaw dropped as I blinked.

"I have an assessment." I lied.

"I guess I can."

"You know what Ryder, don't worry about it. I'll deal with it, I have before." I snapped and hung up.

Why does he have to grind my gears? I shook my head as I placed my phone down. I guess I'll just take Rowan with me. I'm sure Luke really wouldn't mind.

****

"What are you doing here?" I snapped as I slammed my car door shut. "I told you not to worry about it."

I went to the door for Rowan but Ryder beat me to it. "Don't get snappy." He said to me before turning to Rowan. "Hey buddy. How is my boy?"

"Dad!" Rowan called, holding up a painting.

"A little Picasso!" Ryder grinned, unbuckling Rowan and lifting him out off his seat.

"Down, Dad!" Rowan struggled against Ryder until Ryder placed him down. Rowan ran to the front door as I took out his Paw Patrol bag from the car.

Ryder watched as Rowan went to the front door, knocking on it. "Open! Open!" He yelled impatiently. I shook my head as I opened the door. Rowan ran in and disappeared down the hall.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Ryder again.

"You asked if I could have Rowan."

I raised an eyebrow. "Yeah. Your reply was I guess I can."

"You read too much into things, Rhea." Ryder gritted out.

"Can you blame me? I allowed you to be a part of Rowan's life. You wanted this and then you give me an I guess?" I snapped out as I walked inside. "It's either a yes or no."

"And if I said no, you wouldn't bother asking again." Ryder closed the front door behind him.

"No, I wouldn't. I would accept it as a no and get over it. You don't know me at all." I turned to Ryder and was a bit surprised to see how close he was to me.

"You're right." He mumbled as he squeezed me between him and the kitchen bench. "I don't know you, the mother side of you anyway." Ryder's hands went to my hips. "But I know your wants and needs, your triggers." Came his soft voice as I felt his lips slide over my neck.

My heart fluttered as I tilted my head. "I can't do this, Ryder." I mumbled out. "Please don't make me."

"I'm not making you do anything." He whispered as I felt his teeth. I gasped, my fingers clutching the edge of the bench, Ryder's hands holding my hips as he lifted me, placing me on the bench.

I moaned out as I felt Ryder nibble on my neck, my hands running up to his arms, Ryder standing between my legs. Pulling away for a second, he took my lips to his as I took them.

I felt his hands on my back, pulling me to him as his hair went through my fingers.

Ryder's kisses were rough and wanting, his tongue demanding and his teeth constantly bit down on my bottom lip. I wanted him, now and here. I can't. Rowan.

"We can't." I finally breathed out.

"I know." Ryder replied as I dropped my head, panting. I felt him kiss my forehead before stepping away, heading to Rowan's room. I stayed on the bench, eyes wide, breathing hard.

What the hell came over me? Ryder came back out, holding Rowan in one arm and his bag on the other.

"Say bye to mum." Ryder said softly.

"Bye Momma."

I snapped my head up, looking concerned as I slid off the bench. I went straight to Rowan and placed his chubby cheeks in my hands, kissing him.

"I'll see you around seven?" Ryder asked me.

"Uh," My date starts at six. "Eight thirty."

Ryder turned a bit more, looking at me. "He will be fine."

Will he? I just nodded.

"I'll see you then." Ryder gently kissed my head before he walked out.

I stayed there, blinking. Oh no. I think I just screwed up, sending Ryder the wrong message. I didn't mean to kiss him. I just got lost. He does know my triggers, still.