HICCUPS POV

I can't believe she's here! In front of me... alive! I mourned for her. I cired for her. How did she- when did she- I have so many questions...

She's so beautiful. I can't take my eyes off of her. She no longer looks like the girl, one year younger than me, that I used to know. She's grown gracefully into a young woman, she's changed.

Yet... I knew that her nature hadn't change at all. The way she held herself. The way her feet moved nervously when she saw me. The way her cheeks blushed when I hugged her. I've missed her so much.

And the dragon! My soul shifted when I saw what (Y/N) had become, a strong, brave person with a majestic creature by her side. Her beliefs had shaped her reality just like mine with Toothless.

So much has happened since the day she died- or when I thought she did... the day she left me. Memories came flooding back.. of the days around the time when I found out she was gone...

* * * MEMORY * * *

I was 14, nearly 15. I was still in the phase of avoiding my dad to prevent him from persuading me to start dragon training.

I hadn't seen (Y/N) for a couple of weeks at least, only during supper in the great hall some cold nights. I could tell that something big had been stealing her time... and I was missing her dearly. But I, unfortunately was busy helping Gobber, preparing weapons for the Vikings that battled at night. The ones who would kill, daily. I hated making those weapons; knowing that they would kill innocent animals. I had no choice, the attacks were getting more and more frequent...

Every time I saw (Y/N), I felt my cheeks filling with blood and my heart racing. I cherished every moment I had with her, all the memories from when we were 4 years old playing together in the fields, to our first kiss on the log by the lake. Time would stop when I was with her, everything felt brighter, better and the world purely made sense. Every time she talked passionately about protecting dragons, it would bring me much comfort, knowing that we felt the same way about the creatures. We were inseparable.

We were friends with Fishlegs, Snotlout, the twins and Astrid... well more than me. Actually (Y/N) and Astrid were really good friends, but we would hang out just the two of us way more often. We would only be around the gang when we were needed in the village. After all they were fun, entertaining company... even though they did not share the same passions as (Y/N) and I.

Otherwise, (Y/N) and I would go deep into the woods.. or high up on the mountains.. or down by the sea, creating memories and everlasting happiness with each other. We would spend entire days together, I would normally bring the food... if she did, she would only bring her mother's stale bread. I always teased her about that. She normally brought her journal along with her, the one I gave to her... she wrote in it often, normally at the end of the day before we headed back home. She would never let me read it, but teased me by writing in front of me. It made me so curious, but I also loved that she had mystery... she always kept me on edge, in the best, exciting way.

When we were 13/14 years old, after our first amazing kiss by the lake, we started kissing more frequently. Only when we were saying goodbye at the end of the day, or... I used to lean in when I thought we were in a romantic setting like a beautiful sunset or when we laid on the hills, looking up at the stars. We would also hold hands and hugged when it got dark... I knew she felt safe around me. I loved making her feel protected. Even though we kissed frequently, I never got used to kissing her, it was exciting every single time our lips met.

I remember the last time we kissed... it was a gloomy night, the heavy dull clouds covered the map of stars above. We had been frolicking in the fields all day, chasing yaks and picking flowers. Only the red flowers, because that was (Y/N)'s favourite colour.

"(Y/N), I have to ask you something..."

I told her whilst we were making our way back home to the village. She held a dozen scarlet red flowers in her hands.

"Yes what is it, Hicc?"

"I haven't seen you in a while. You've been distant-"

"What do you mean? I haven't been avoiding you, if that's what you're assuming. Besides, you've been helping Gobber..."

"I know that I've been helping more often because of these attacks worsening... but (Y/N), you've been so distant. You're gone everyday, not to be seen until sundown. I don't know why, and I wish to know what's changed. We haven't been hanging out as much."

She plodded her head down in shame and I could tell she was thinking of an excuse to tell me.

"I- I've been busy. That's all." She said with a snap. Her abrupt answer was enough for me to know that she didn't want to talk about it.

"You know... You can tell me anything-" I added, seeking further explanation

She paused and gazed upon me. She fought the tears that were forming in her eyes.

"I know I can. But there are some things that I can't tell you, Hiccup. Not for now at least..."

I respected her words. I had the feeling she wanted to tell me... so I decided to give her time so that she could tell me on her own terms, when she felt comfortable doing so.

"I must be heading back home now, before sundown..." she said, with a longing tone.

"When will I see you again?" I asked in a hopeful timbre.

"You'll probably see me tomorrow. I'll be in the great hall during supper" She tried comforting my worries with a smile...

"I mean... when will I see you again properly. We could go to the woods or to the hills with a picnic-"

"Soon Hiccup. I promise." She turned around to leave but stopped in her tracks... She slowly turned around revealing her nervous expression, grabbed my shirt with both of her hands, and pulled me into a kiss. My heart fluttered with adrenaline as we indulged into the kiss. She pulled away, with a shy smile below her red cheeks, and walked off back to her home.

Little did I know that that would be the last time I kissed her...

One night, about a week later, the battle between the Vikings and the dragons was much worse than usual. Innocent blood was spilt. I had to work on my own in the workshop throughout the entire night because Gobber had to help out - it was that bad. I melted metal to create as much weapons as I could. The high demand was overwhelming... death filled the air. My biggest regret was that I never left that workshop to check on (Y/N). I took for granted that she was safe and warm in her bed. But what I heard the next morning in the great hall broke my heart into a thousand pieces.

That morning, my father stood tall in front of our village with an empty look across his face. Everyone looking up towards him for guidance and support. I couldn't imagine having to present the names of the fallen in front of my people like he did after every attack. I briefly scanned the hall, looking for (Y/N).. I couldn't find her within the moving crowd, my size at the time didn't help at all.

He started listing the names of the unfortunate victims from last night, there were too many to count. The worst outcome of a battle that I could remember.

"Toke... Ragnar... Harder... Torsten..." he paused, I saw a single tear running down his face. I had never seen him cry before in my life. I could hear the cries of the heartbroken families echoing through the hall.

He took a deep breath and carried on...

"Hilda... Ravna... Tora... Frode..."

Frode?? That's (Y/N)'s fathers name... My heart sunk. I looked across the hall looking for (Y/N) the second time. All I wanted was to console her, wanted to be there for her. Every other sound was muted around me, until I heard my father saying-

"(Y/N)..."

Pain filled my body. Everything felt so real so fast, like never before. I fell on my knees, my head planted into my hands, dad ran towards me..

"SON, SON! are you okay?" He placed his hand on my back. I couldn't speak. I could barely breathe. The entire hall went dark.. My best friend was dead. I never even got the chance to tell her that I loved her...

"It's gonna be alright, son... Gobber, could you?..." he went on listing the names that had to be heard by the people. He lifted his warm hand from my back. I knew he wanted to make me feel better, but he had to do his duty as Chief.

Gobber took me to the workshop and tried to make me feel better but he didn't really help at all. He told me to 'look on the bright side' and to 'kill the beasts for justice'... he sounded like a typical Viking. I just wanted to be alone, with my thoughts.

I stayed inside for a long time after that. Not getting out of bed. Grief consumed me. I didn't want to face anyone, I didn't want to go outside incase I saw (Y/N)'s mother or her younger brothers, Iacob and Erik. I couldn't imagine the pain they were going through, loosing two family members in one dreadful night. I knew I could never have faced them without crying and being reminded of her face. Her beautiful face. I couldn't accept the fact that she was gone.

~~~~

A lot of time passed and eventually dad forced me to face the world again. To make friends with people my age, so he manipulated into getting into dragon training. That was around the time I met Toothless. I don't know what I would've done without him. Things changed for the better after Toothless, but it was never the same. A part of me wanted to believe (Y/N) never died because I never got to say goodbye. But I forced myself to believe what everyone thought was the truth at the time.

* * * END OF MEMORY * * *

Now... in this moment... everything has changed. I've found her! I'm so glad I went to that island to get Toothless's favourite food and to look for another Nightfury. Because I ended up finding so much more... I found the love of my life.

END OF CHAPTER