I wake up in a bright bedroom, everything smells like lavender. I look down and see a blonde head of curls nestled up against my chest and I smile.

I wasn't supposed to be here, I was supposed to have gone home last night but I was too happy here. There wasn't anything like laying in bed and talking with Sasha, and when she wrapped around me it made it almost impossible to leave.

I picked her up after her therapy appointment yesterday and took her to dinner before she had to go to the gym. Sasha never spoke much about what she talked about in therapy, but I suppose the whole point of therapy if for it to be private.

I knew she wanted a break, she had too much on her mind and I wanted to cheer her up. I even promised to come by after her practice. But that was mostly just because I wanted to see her again, by the time I got there she'd already changed into one of those evil little slips, and I had no issue crawling into bed with her.

I knew we both liked to be together, everything felt so easy with her. She didn't expect anything from me and I didn't expect anything from her. It was a beautiful relationship, and it was one I should have gotten into a long time ago.

I look down seeing her fast asleep and I smile running my hands over her back. I watch her lips curl into a smile and she laughs a bit, kissing my chest.

"Morning." She says and I laugh a bit.

"Morning." I whisper. "Sleep well?"

"Better than ever." She says quietly. "That's the best I've slept so far this week."

"I'm glad." I whisper, running my fingers through her hair. "I'm so sorry about everything that happened this week."

"It's not like any of it's your fault-"

"But I feel responsible." I answer and she furrows her eyebrows.

"Why?" She asks and I sigh.

"Because......because I put you in harm's way." I say quietly. "Because I dumped Sabrina as fast as I could, and by getting with you too fast....I made you a target."

"You didn't do anything to me." She assures me running her hand over my face. "She already hated me, it was a matter of time. Nathan, she's a mean, cold-hearted bitch. This is a game to her, to mess with peoples' feelings like they don't matter. And she's not going to back me into a corner when I finally have the sort of life I want." 

It made me smile that she was being so strong about all of this, especially given the constant teasing and harassment she went through at school. I could hear people snicker behind me in class, some people would outright ask me invasive questions. 

"You're stronger than me." I admit and she wraps her arms around me tighter. 

"I feel like this isn't a good time to leave." She says quietly. "I feel off about this, I really do."

"Why? Because of the teasing?" I ask and she sighs. 

"It's not just the teasing, it's.....my family and Micheal and.....I feel like I'm focusing on something selfish. I feel like I'm putting everything off until I get back and I'm sick of it." She mumbles, pressing her face into my chest.

"Baby, don't say that." I say quietly, running my hands up her back. "This is what you've wanted since you were six and you have a shot at it. You've spent....so long trying to look out for everyone else, to keep your dad happy, to include and spend time with your brothers, to look out for your friends and the people around you. You've put in all of this work and effort and I believe in you. 

"This is about you." I remind her, holding her face in my hands. "Nobody else, nothing's going to change here while you're gone. But everything will if you don't go."

"Why are you pushing me so hard to go?" She asks shaking her head. 

"Because I've seen you when you skate." I answer quietly. "I've seen how capable you are and I know what this means to you. Tell me how you feel when you skate?"

"I feel...." She starts and she nods a bit to herself, building up courage. "I feel alive."

"Exactly." I tell her and she lowers her eyes.

"What if I can't do it? What if I go and I don't even place or-"

"You'll never know if you don't try." I tell her and she nods slightly. "You're afraid of unknowns?" I ask and she sighs, nodding again. "Make this a known."

"I guess." She mumbles and I sigh.

"What's going on?" I ask. "You've looked stressed since yesterday."

"It's just the.....um, the competition. It's coming fast and I just don't know if I'm settled back into figure skating properly again." She says and I shake my head. 

I can always tell when Sasha is less than truthful with me, she stutters, her eyes shoot from side to side. It's honestly amazing that we managed hide our relationship for six weeks. 

"What's really eating at you?" I ask. "I know you, I know that's not all."

"It's really....it's just a little overwhelming?" She says and I nod.

"We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to." I remind her. I didn't want to push her to tell me, but I didn't want her to feel like she had to hide things from me. "But if you want to I'm here."

"No, I have to tell my parents anyway, Jennifer's sending along a follow-up in a few days and I'd rather have it come from me." She says and takes a deep breath.

"Yesterday, in therapy.....she asked me to talk about the teasing at school. Then she wanted to talk about my eating habits and problems.....Nathan she wants to put me on an anti-anxiety medication." She huffs.

"For what?" I ask and she shrugs.

"She says the reason I have a hard time eating is because I get anxious. But it's not anxiety I actively notice or something like that. When I come back she wants me to talk to my doctor about it and get my blood tested."

"Do you think it'll work?" I ask and she sighs.

"I hope so." She answers. "Maybe I do just need to relax a bit and I'll try anything to feel better at this point. I need to gain weight."

"You-"

"Healthy weight." She finishes and I smile. "I didn't say anything about it because-"

"Because it makes what's on the flyers true?" I ask and she nods, pressing her lips together. "Sasha I know it feels that way, but you and I both know what you have going on is different."

"I asked if that meant I did have an eating disorder, she said no but then she got hesitant and retracted that statement saying I didn't have one in the 'traditional sense'." She sighs.

"Even if that is true....you're dealing with it. Once they figure out what's going on you'll feel heaps better, and that's what's important." I remind her and she nods. "But you're alright, don't get it in your head that you're in danger. Once you're back I'll bring you to those appointments myself."

"You will?" She asks and I nod.

"I want to see you happy." I whisper. "Try not to let it weigh on your mind."

"I know.....it's just hard." She sighs and I nod.

"I get that." I tell her. "Why don't you pass all of your worries to me for a few days and I'll keep them safe until you're back."

"It doesn't work that way." She reminds me and I laugh.

"Pretend it does." I whisper. "These next four days are yours, enjoy them, Sash you've earned it."

"Alright." She whispers. "I feel really bad, nobody's going to watch my brothers play hockey. My parents are insisting on going with me, even though I'm sixteen years old."

"They probably wish they could watch you too." I assure her and she nods.

"Hockey is....important to them, the way my skating's important to me. I'm tired of them getting put last, you know?" She asks and I nod.

"I do know." I whisper.

Sasha was more empathetic and caring than she gave herself credit for. She was feeling guilty for things that were out of her control. It made me sad, because I knew she was already overwhelmed and I most-likely couldn't convince her otherwise.

"Hopefully everything will start to get better when I'm back." She says quietly, running her finger over the chain on my chest. "Then everything between you and me will work easier, less scheduling issues and more nights in bed together." I laugh a bit at that and she smiles.

"How do you suggest we spend our nights in bed?" I ask furrowing my eyebrows and she laughs kissing my jaw. 

"It depends if we're alone or not." She whispers and climbs on top of me, leaning down to kiss me.

I almost couldn't believe this was the same girl who, just a few short weeks ago, was uncomfortable with me putting my hands on her bare legs. I was thankful she still trusted me this way, that she was still confident in herself. 

I sit up with her and run my hands over her back and down to her butt. I push past her nightgown and let my hands run over her bare skin.

"You drive me crazy." I whisper and she smiles. 

"And you drive me wild." She breathes in my ear, pushing her hand through my hair. 

That took me a bit off guard, she usually didn't say anything like that while we'd do things like this. It almost seemed weird to hear her say those words.

"Sasha?" I hear someone knock on the other side of the door and immediately the kiss is broken. 

"Oh no, it's almost eight!" She says getting out of bed and I look around at my clothes on the floor. I pick them up and she's ushering me into her closet.

"Just a sec." She says and I sigh, thankful it was decently large. I start to pull my clothes on as she closes the door on me.

"Hey mom." I hear her say opening the door to her room.

"Sasha, why aren't you dressed yet? Nate's supposed to be here in fifteen minutes." She says and I groan, I'd never make it home before school. I was just thankful mom left at five a.m and dad was away on business again.

"I um.....I just can't decide what to wear." She covers quickly. "What's up?"

"I just wanted to see how you were, with your big competition and everything." She says.

"Oh, I'm fine." Sasha tells her. "Yeah I think I'm going to pack tonight."

I can hear her rushing her words and stuttering. Sasha is a horrible liar. 

".....Who's sock is that?" I hear and I suddenly panic, noticing I only had one sock.

"Huh? Oh! It's mine." She says and I run my hand over my face.

"Sasha, this sock is massive." She says and I can hear the inquisition in her voice. "When did Nate leave last night?"

"You know....late." She says and I groan. She already knows I'm here just give it up Sash.

"Speaking of late, you need to get ready to go." She says and I close my eyes, praying she'd leave. "I have some of your clothes here, I'll just put them away while you get ready-"

"No!" I hear Sasha say. "No....thank you." She tries to save. "I'll handle it mom, thanks."

"Nonsense, you won't have time to put them away before you go I'll just put them away now." She says and I hear her hand land on the door handle.

"Honestly mom, I'll deal with it-"

Next thing I know, light from the room is pouring into the closet and I'm standing face to face with Sasha's clearly amused mother.

"Why Nate, what a surprise." She says and I give her a tight smile. "Here extra early to pick Sasha up?"

"Look mom I'm really sorry, it was an accident." Sasha says as I step out of the closet. "I was just tired and we were having a nice conversation, I promise it won't happen again." Her mother simply smiles and passes Sasha her laundry.

"Young lady, I was young once too." She sighs. "It would be nice if you would let me know first."

"Excuse me?" Sasha gapes she laughs.

"It wasn't that long ago I snuck in through your father's window and hid in his closet." She says and I feel my eyes widen. "You're not that slick, if I were you I'd avoid being in situations where I needed to lie." Her mom scolds and Sasha turns pink.

"Sorry mom." She says and her mom nods.

"Well you two should get ready, nice to see you Nate." She says and closes the door to Sasha's room behind her.

"Your mom's sort of.....cool?" I say and she laughs, walking over to loop her arms around my waist.

"She has her moments, now come on." She says. "Get ready, some of the clothes you let me borrow are around here somewhere."