"She left because she walked into our conversation right as Joonie was telling me how much he can't stand her."

The four of them turn to the voice from behind to find Hae-Ran, standing there with a smirk on her face.

"Why the fuck would you say that?" V glares at Namjoon. "Literally anyone within a mile radius of you two would know that's a lie."

Namjoon runs his hand through his hair, stopping at the back to yank on it in frustration. "Because the last time Hae-Ran got wind that I was seeing someone, she found her and paid her off."

The other three turn to look at the crazy bitch standing before them.

"What?" she shrugs. "I did him a favor. She didn't love him if she was willing to take the money."

"I went on two dates with her!" he seethes. "Of course she was going to take the money."

"Did you think [Y/N] was going to take the money?" Nanami glares, making Namjoon shrink in size. "Do you think that little of her?"

"I..." his voice caught in his throat. "I just panicked. I didn't want it to happen again. I didn't even want to take the chance. So I wanted Hae-Ran to think she wasn't import-"

"You're a fucking moron for someone with a 148 IQ!" Nanami yells, punching him in the stomach.

Jimin yanks her away from Namjoon as he doubles over in pain, kneeling on the cement. Nanami's punches are about as strong as Taehyung or Jimin's.

"Let me go!" She screams. "Let me kill him!"

"What do I do?" Namjoon whimpers into his hands. "I know I fucked up. Badly."

"Well, she's contracted to show up to your place in two days," Jimin sighs. "Try to talk to her then."

The thought of you being forced to see him doesn't sit well in his chest, but he'll have to take it for now.

• • • • • • • •

"Okay, how do I look?" Namjoon asks, checking himself in the mirror.

"I don't know," Taehyung rolls his eyes. "Handsome? Beefy? Fuckable?"

"Seriously V," Namjoon glares. "I have to look good. I have to be perfect."

Taehyung sighs and walks towards his frantic leader, adjusting his collar and smoothing out the fabric across his shoulders. "You look like a million bucks," he says. "But your looks aren't what's going to get [Y/N] back."

"I know that," Namjoon frowns, rolling up the sleeve on his forearm. "But I have to do everything I can. And if that means looking irresistible every time she's around, then I'm going to do it."

It's already Saturday; the day you've been dreading but the day Namjoon couldn't wait for. It's close to 10pm, which was your usual arrival time before the dinners and move nights started. Namjoon had asked V to come hangout with him beforehand, hoping to relieve some anxiety about seeing you.

He so desperately wants to impress you. He's wearing one of your favorite white button ups, tucked into black leather pants that show off his thighs, hair slicked back, and your favorite pair of glasses resting on his nose.

"Just be yourself, hyung." V smiles softly. "She didn't fall for the perfect RM, she fell for the broken Namjoon."

A lump forms in his throat. He's been a nervous wreck the last 48 hours, wondering where you've been or who you've been with. He knew you were with that English bastard Jeffrey and it kept him up both nights. You'd eventually blocked his number because of how many times he's texted. You had sent him a very stoic and cold email, letting him know all communication about the contract needed to be handled formally.

He is so nervous to see you that he hasn't been able to focus on anything else. The guilt is eating him alive, and he's desperate to make it up to you.

His breath gets stuck in his lungs as he hears a knock on the door.

"I'll get it on my way out," Taehyung smiles, giving Namjoon a pat on the back. "Good luck. Let me know if you need anything."

Namjoon nods, fiddling with the buttons on his dress shirt.

"Hey [Y/N]," Taehyung smiles as he opens the door. "Come on in, I was just leaving."

You say nothing but give him a small smile and bow as you move past him and into Namjoon's apartment.

Namjoon freezes at the sight of you. Your hair is up in a bun, not a speck of makeup on your face, and all you have on is a simple black t-shirt and shorts. His throat tightens as he's in awe of how beautiful you look regardless. You're carrying a backpack and a small cardboard box, maybe the size of a shoe box.

Taehyung closes the door and you stand in the entryway, glancing at Namjoon then blankly looking at the floor.

"H-hey," he stutters, taking a small step towards you.

You sigh, removing your shoes and walking up to him to hand him the box you're carrying.

His stomach sinks as you look at him. You're staring directly into his eyes, with zero emotion on your face. You're not happy, but you're not angry or sad either. You're just blank, like he's a stranger.

"Here are your clothes that I borrowed," you say to him, "I won't be needing them anymore. As per my email I'd like to keep things between us professional, and officially end this contract in 4 weeks. I am not interested in an extension."

You head directly for Namjoon's room to set your things down, and he slowly follows you in, gripping the box you'd just handed him. His chest feels like he's underwater, sadness beginning to overwhelm him at your behavior.

"Can we please talk?" he asks shakily.

You remain silent as you unpack your clothes for tomorrow, back facing him.

"[Y/N], please," he begs, setting the box down. "Please just let me explain things to you. I didn't mean any of those things I said to Hae-Ra-"

"Don't say her name," you cut him off coldly, still facing away from him. "I don't want to know anything about you personally. I'm not interested. You are merely my employer."

Nanami was right. You are going to treat him exactly the way he'd asked to be treated. You will give him nothing more than an employee/ employer relationship. And he knows it's all his fault.

You finish unpacking and stoically move into the bathroom, not sparing him a glance as you close the door.

Namjoon fights back his tears as you finish up in the bathroom. He expected you to be angry. He expected you to scream at him. He did not expect you to ignore his existence. It actually hurts worse than if you'd hit him.

You return from the bathroom to find him in the same position you'd left him.

Brushing past him you crawl onto the mattress, facing away from his side of the bed and pull out your phone to scroll through social media.

Namjoon silently moves towards his closet, quickly changing into pajamas and crawling in bed. He sits there and stares at your back, tears swelling in his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, [Y/N]," he exhales shakily. "I'm so sorry for lying to you and I'm so sorry for hurting you."

You remain there silently, scrolling through your phone.

Tears begin to stream down Namjoon's face as he realizes just how much you hate him right now. How he hates the idea that you're only near him because you have to be. He knows just how much he had to have hurt you for you to treat him like this. He knows this is all his fault and the guilt is swallowing him whole.

"You don't have to answer. You can just lay there in silence," Namjoon says between tears. "But please listen. I know you want to keep it professional so just pretend I'm talking to myself. If you want to hate me after I'm done then I will respect it."

You continue to stay silent, nonchalantly flipping through your Instagram feed. At least you seem nonchalant to Namjoon. In reality your insides are contorting in pain, your chest aching so badly it's making you nauseous; the lump in your throat making it hard to breathe.

"Hae-Ran and I dated for 3 years," Namjoon says shakily, looking at the ceiling, his head resting against the headboard. "We met 5 years ago at one of those banquet dinners when her father brought her along."

He glances over to make sure you're still awake before continuing.

"It was great for the first year. She was relatively free so she was able to come with me everywhere, whether it was for BTS or for personal things. But she suddenly said she didn't want to travel around anymore, getting tired of never being home. We were incredibly busy around this time, so I don't blame her for being exhausted."

Namjoon's hands start to tremble as he fiddles with his thumbs.

"She slowly got angrier and angrier at me for not spending time with her. I mean, who wouldn't? I hardly saw her," he takes a deep breath, trying to control the shaking in his voice. "I neglected her. I put my career before her. It made her bitter and eventually turned her into a different person. She became spiteful and jealous, to the point where she'd purposely try to start drama between me and the members or staff. She thought if she made my life miserable away from her, it would make me want to be around her more."

Namjoon looks over at you again, you're in the same position with your phone in front of your face but you've stopped scrolling.

He blinks a couple times as he looks back at the ceiling, a few tears rolling down the sides of his face.

"I dealt with it for two more years. Two years of being screamed at and belittled for everything I did. I put up with it because I thought it was my fault. And I loved her. But one day she brought me food to the studio, and it was laced with poison."

Namjoon feels your body tense up in rage, but that small movement actually relieves him. He knows you're listening, and that somewhere deep down behind all your hurt and anger, you still care about him, giving him the smallest amount of hope.

"It wasn't enough to kill me, just enough to make me sick so I would go back home to her," Namjoon exhales. "And that's when I ended it. As you can imagine, it was very ugly. For six more months she stalked me and tried to make everyone's lives a living hell. She went so far as to bribe any girl I came in contact with to never speak to me again. We ended up having to get Bang PD and the board involved, and Hae-Ran's father sent her to America."

Namjoon sits up, eyes staring at his lap as tears fall onto his crossed legs. "So that's why I panicked when I saw her. I was scared she was going to hurt you or bribe you." He buries his face in his hands as his sobs become harder to control. "That's why I said those things about you. I didn't want her to know how much I care about you. I wanted to convince her you were insignificant so she'd leave you alone."

Namjoon pauses for a moment, trying to steady his breathing.

"I'm sorry [Y/N], I'm so sorry for lying. I just panicked. I should've been honest with you. I care about you so much." He wipes his tears uselessly as more fall right after. "Nanami told me about your ex, and I know that me saying those things without consulting you was one of the worst things I could've done to you. I know you hate me right now, and you have every right to. But thank you for listening." He clears his throat and pauses again.

"I like you so much, and I'm sorry for not admitting it sooner," his voice cracks as he begins to break down.

He gets out of the bed and walks out of the room, not wanting to sob uncontrollably in front of you. He's not trying to make you feel bad for him; he knows he can't stop crying so he removes himself to give you time to think.

He sits down on the couch and sobs into his hands as quietly as he can. His shoulders violently shake as his breathing becomes more uncontrollable; his chest feeling like it's breaking into a thousand pieces. This feeling is 10 times worse than how he felt during his breakup with Hae-Ran. He's finally able to admit just how much he feels for you but he's gone and ruined it.

Namjoon tenses as he feels your arms slowly reach around his neck, pulling him into your chest as his face is still buried in his hands. You remain silent as you cradle the broken man in your arms, stroking his hair as he cries like a child.

He croaks out "I'm sorry's" and "please forgive me's" between his sobs, melting into your embrace as you silently soothe him, tears now streaming down your face as well. You hold him against you for what seems like hours until he's able to calm down.

Namjoon pulls back and you cup his face with your hands, wiping the tears from his cheeks. He can't quite read your expression, but he relaxes when he sees the softness in your eyes and the dry tear stains on your cheeks. You're not looking at him like a stranger anymore.

"Let's go to bed," you say softly, taking his hand to guide him off the couch.

He grips your hand like his life depends on it as you lead him towards the bedroom and onto the mattress.

He almost whimpers as you release his hand to position yourself on your side of the bed, still keeping a foot or two of distance between the both of you.

Silently, he positions himself in his spot, not wanting to pressure you into any touching even if wrapping you in his arms is the only thing he can think about right now. Even with the giant hole in his chest, he feels incredibly grateful just to be lying next to you.

His heart almost leaps out of his throat as you wrap your hand around his again.

"Sleep," you say to him. "Let's talk in the morning."

He nods as his chest swells in a mixture of sadness, nervousness, and excitement knowing you'll still be there when he wakes up in the morning.

Namjoon feels his eyelids getting heavy from the fatigue. He hasn't cried like that in years. He feels your thumb rub lightly over his knuckles, gently soothing him to sleep.

"Thank you, [Y/N]," he softly mumbles before drifting to sleep.

________________

Chappy 24 ~

I'm SUFFERING

Why am I doing this to myself lol

I hope you guys are liking the story so far!!

Another shout out to my angel editor

Don't forget to vote and comment :) I read every single comment you guys leave!