Nick's POV

This can't be happening. She's fine. She must be. Please, please let her be okay!

It's felt like hours but in reality, it's been minutes. I'm almost to the farm. I've kept Jay on the phone, and he refused to leave Spencer and go to the house but assured me the bull was nowhere to be seen.

The terror and sadness in his voice is breaking my heart. He went through this all alone because I wasn't there. I couldn't help him; I couldn't save her. I should have waited to go out to the store. Why didn't they tell us the bull was coming early? Why didn't Spencer wait until I was home?

Thoughts kept flying through my mind as I tried to focus on driving and keeping Jay calm. I could just barely see the ambulance behind me so at least they weren't far.

My mind was in a fear induced daze. Tears gathered and made my vision fuzzy. I'm not sure how I made it home.

My truck skidded into the drive as I raced towards the house. I could see a giant bull leisurely grazing on the side of the drive, heading down towards the river. Completely content and unaware or uncaring of the trauma he had caused. I had half a mind to plow into him.

I slow down as the house comes into view. I don't know where Spence or Jay is. I turn the truck off before it's even stopped completely. Yanking the E-brake and jumping out of the truck, my eyes scan frantically for my family.

"Daddy!" I hear Jayden screaming for me from the opposite side of the sheep enclosure. A trailer is backed up to the fence, the back door ajar.

He's running towards me, tears streaming down his terror-struck face. I scoop him into my arms and hold him tightly as I go around the trailer to find Spencer. I could hear the ambulance turning onto the drive.

The sight just about broke my heart. I withheld the sob bubbling up in my chest.

Spencer was lying face down, her head directly next to a large, wooden fence post. I could see blood trailing down her forehead and down her left eye. It matted her hair down. Her left leg was at an odd angle and she has cuts and bruises on her face and arms.

The sob forces its way through my chest. I gently place Jay on the ground, telling him to stay back, as I rush towards Spencer.

Please. Please. Oh god, please be alive.

Please!

Relief flooded my body as I saw her breath. She was breathing in short, harsh pants but it means she is alive. I wanted to see her face. I needed to. But I knew I couldn't move her.

I heard the ambulance pull to a stop, so I reluctantly left Spencer and lifted a scared Jayden into my arms and rushed to greet the paramedics.

"Over here!" I call to them frantically. Two paramedics rush towards me with a pack and a back board. Another ambulance and a police car pull up. I can see a fire truck pulling into the drive as well.

"What happened?" One of the paramedics asks as his partner kneels beside Spencer. He takes a quick set of vitals.

"I don't know. Jayden called me frantically to tell me Spencer wasn't waking up." I gesture to the toddler in my arms. "I was out running errands. He said the bull ran her down." The paramedics eyes widened a fraction.

Well, that does not make me feel better.

"Okay. We need to roll her over gently onto the board, but I need a neck brace first." The paramedic tells his partner who runs off to fetch it.

I bury Jayden's head into my shoulder as they roll her over. I don't want him to see this, but I couldn't leave. Tears were streaming down my face and I didn't do a damn thing to keep them at bay.

I couldn't.

The love of my life was lying motionless in front of me. Her beautiful face marred with bruises and blood.

"I think her leg is broken." The paramedic speaks softly. I glance down and see her left leg still at an awkward angle.

Fuck.

I shouldn't have looked.

My stomach is rolling with nausea and I can feel the bile rising. Normally this wouldn't make me queasy but just the fact that it's Spencer, makes me want to spew.

I can't watch this.

I need to be strong for Jay.

A policeman waves me over and from the corner of my eye, I can see them prepping an injection of some sort for Spencer before lifting her up to walk towards the ambulance.

After talking briefly with the officer, they get the full story and head on their way. I grab Jayden's car seat from Spencer's car before latching it securely into my truck. The ambulance already left, and it just about killed me to not be in there with her. I put Jayden in front of the tv while I go pack him a bag.

With shaking hands, I dial my mom's number.

"Hello?"

"Mom." My voice broke. I need to keep it together.

"Nick?" Her carefree voice turned concerned instantly.

"Mom, I need you to meet me at the hospital. Spencer was in an accident and I need you to watch Jayden. I can't....I don't know..." I sobbed into the phone.

"What happened?! Is she all right? Oh my god, I will be there soon. What happened?" She repeats, rapidly firing questions into my ear.

"I wasn't home. The bull came early and ran her down. Jayden called me because he couldn't wake her up. Mom....she looked horrible! She was completely unconscious, and blood was running down her head and her leg is broken. I don't know what else is wrong. I can't. Mom, she has to be okay. I can't lose her, I can't!" I break down on the phone with my mom whispering soothing words into my ear.

"I'm packing a bag for Jayden if you can watch him at least until I know the extent of her injuries. I still have to wrangle the bull back in the pen, but I can't right now. The dick can get eaten by wolves for all I care." I don't mean it. I'm angry and I hate the animal right now, but Spencer spent a good deal of money on him.

"I'll meet you at the hospital. Take deep breaths and try and calm yourself. We don't need you getting in an accident either. She will be okay." Her no nonsense voice helped calm me somewhat. I need to keep it together for Jayden. For my son.

At the hospital, my mom sweeps me into a giant hug before I can even properly step out of my truck. She pulls back and wipes a traitorous tear from my face.

"Let's go check on her." She grabs Jay's bag and moves it to her car while I unbuckle him from his car seat and lift him into my arms. His little hands tighten around my neck as he buries his face into my shoulder. The whole ordeal has exhausted him. We walk towards the entrance. My mom can move the car seat later.

The receptionist looks at me expectantly when we enter. "I'm here for Spencer Williams. She should have been brought in by ambulance." I manage to mumble out. She looks at her computer screen before glancing back at me.

"Are you family?"

"She's my fiancé." Okay so a little bluff there, but no way are they not letting me see her. The receptionist nods and tells me to take a seat while she sees what is happening.

I gently rock Jayden in my arms as I sit in the uncomfortable chairs. Seriously why are these chairs so fucking uncomfortable if they know people could be waiting here forever?

My mom sits quietly beside me while she updates my dad and sister. My dad decided to take some men and go wrangle to bull for me so he would be safe in a pen and I wouldn't need to worry. We have been waiting for about an hour so far.

My knee impatiently bounces, and I continue to glance around the waiting room. I lurch in my seat any time a doctor comes through the doors, but it's never for us.

More time passed. Surely if she was dying, they would have come and told us.......right?

This is unbearable. Not knowing what was happening or if she was ok. What will happen to Jayden if she passes? Will someone take him away from me? I couldn't bare it. I need Spencer. I need to see her beautiful eyes open and her smile that lights her face when she looks at me.

I need her.

"Hey kid." I look up to see my father walk in. His steps falter when he sees my face. No doubt I look awful. My eyes are red and puffy, you can see dried tears and I have a look of despair on my face. I give him a forced, weak smile. His eyes soften and he sits beside me. He smiles sadly at the boy cuddled up in my arms. He had fallen asleep about 30 minutes after we got here.

"Any word?" I shook my head, my knee resuming its bouncing. My dad sighs heavily.

"That bull is a piece of work." I raise my eyebrow at him. "Nasty fucker. He was a challenge to get him into the pen. I'm not sure you should keep him. Maybe let him breed one round and then sell him off. He's not worth the trouble." I nod. If my dad is saying he's nasty than the fucker is a truly fierce bull. My dad had plenty of experience with mean bulls and knows how to handle them. If he had trouble....I shook my head. I can't think of this right now. I can't think of what she went through. Not until I know she is okay.

The doors open and a tall doctor who must be in his fifties, walks out. "Spencer Williams' family?" I jump up and we all huddle near the doctor.

"How is she." I croak out, not sure I want to know the extent.

"She has a long recovery, but she will be fine." We all breathe a sigh of relief. "She has some extensive wounds so it will take time. She is still unconscious, and I don't expect her to wake for another day or two. Her head wound was significant. She has a skull fracture where she hit her head and she has a broken leg. She also has two broken ribs and severe contusions on her abdomen. Luckily, she doesn't have any internal bleeding and the skull fracture was fairly small. The largest recovery will be for her leg." We remain silent for a time, processing all the doctor just said. My poor Spencer.

"She will be asleep, but you may see her if you like." We nodded, following the doctor through the halls until we reached a door. Sliding it open, he ushered us inside before leaving us to give us privacy.

I choked back a sob; my shoulders shook as I desperately tried to keep it inside. She was hooked up to monitors. Her leg was in a cast and elevated on a pillow. An IV was in her arm and bandage was wrapped around her head. The bruises were even more prominent in the hospital room lighting. Her beautiful face had turned purple, mostly on her left side.

My mom gasped seeing her and I could see her struggling to keep her tears at bay. Even my dad was at a loss. I had to keep reminding myself that it looks much worse and that she was going to be fine. My mom's arm circles around me, squeezing me to bring me comfort as I tried not to break down.

"I'm staying with her. I'm not sure if Jayden should see her like this until she is awake." I look to my mom for guidance.

"How about I take him home and we will see how it goes. It might be too traumatic right now for him especially if Spencer doesn't wake up to speak to him." I nod.

"Dad, would you mind helping the men do evening chores tonight and the rest tomorrow? I will pay them."

"Don't worry son. We will take care of everything. You just worry about Spencer and Jayden. They are your family now." My dad throws me a knowing smile which widens when I don't disagree.

After they took some time with Spencer, I walked them to the door. Carefully, I pass Jayden off to my dad. "If he needs me then call me and let him talk or we can FaceTime. I'm not sure how he will react to both of us not being there. Just try and explain as best you can." I bid them goodbye and sat back down next to Spencer.

I grabbed her hand in mine, trying to warm it as best I could. I lay her palm against my cheek, just how she always holds my face, wishing that she were awake. I kissed her palm before lacing our fingers together.

I have never been so terrified in my life. I have never felt such a vice like grip on my heart and soul as I did when I answered Jay's call. I was petrified I would lose the greatest person in my life. My heart and half of my soul. I need her awake. I need her with me, holding my hand and kissing me tenderly. Growing our family and growing the farm. I need her. Plain and simple. I'm nothing without her.

"Please baby. Wake up soon. I can't live without you. I have something important to tell you." I lean forward and kiss her lips gently before trying to get comfortable in the hard chair next to her bed. It will be a long day and night, but I will watch over her until she wakes up. I won't sleep until I can see those beautiful eyes that have captivated me so fully. I'm not leaving her.

A/N

Nice long chapter and double update! What are your thoughts? I love constructive criticism!