"Is she?" My mother asks, with curiosity painted over her face.

"It feels like it, yeah." I confess bashfully, and my cheeks warm up at the thought of her.

"This makes me think of myself and your father. I had fallen in love with him so quickly, and I think that's how you feel about Alex." My mother explains, and I nod my head.

"This girl, she just-, gets me. I feel like she knows a part of me that even I don't know exists. This is just... it's-" I stammer, trying to find the proper word to describe how I feel.

"Ineffable." My mother says with a small smirk.

"Yeah," I say and I sigh. "I've known this girl for over a month, and she's already made me feel like I've liked her for way longer. Momma, can I ask you something?" I ask, and I follow her to the refrigerator.

"Sure, you can ask anything." She says while grabbing some peppers.

"This is kind of cringeworthy to ask, but I'm going to anyway. Is there an appropriate time to-, physically love her? We've kissed before, but I'm talking about-"

"You could've been in a relationship for a week, or you could've been in a relationship for over five years. As long as she's okay with it, and you feel sure enough, I don't think it's ever too soon." She says.

"I just think about the lessons you guys gave me every time I get intimate with her, and I always ask if-"

"Rian, baby. I love how worried you are about this girl, and I love how you still come to your father and I for advice about these things. Does it seem like she's willing to wait?" She asks while holding my hands.

"Yes, in fact, I think waiting is the best thing to do until she feels comfortable."

"Do whatever you feel is right, baby. She should respect your decision."

I help my mother finish cooking, and after we're done, I go upstairs and into my room. It's a calming silence in the air, and I let myself get lost in my brain. All of the things that have happened over the past month swim through my mind.

This really is crazy. Alex and I met because she had dislocated her knee, and I was the doctor assigned to take care of her and perform her reduction. When I saw her sitting alone at Starbucks, the tears falling down her face made me ache inside. Like I was feeling the pain she had. I couldn't just leave her there, especially after what her mother did to her. Alex needed a place to stay where she wouldn't have to worry about being abused, and I knew that I was capable of providing that.

Alex and I are just starting, so I need to just wait for her. Especially after what happened during her sophomore year, I need to be cautious of my self control.

~~~

On Thursday, my family all go to the doctors together for my fathers first cancer treatment appointment. We all sit together in the waiting room, and my mother anxiously shakes her leg while we wait.

"Daniel Peterson?" A young woman says, and we all stand from our chairs and follow her.

Once we're in the room with the doctor, my father sits down and my mother places her head on his shoulder.

"Mr. Peterson have you been experiencing any pain lately?" The doctor asks politely.

My father just shakes his head, and a bitter taste fills my mouth.

He's denying it.

The look in my mothers eyes is troubled, and she bites her lip out of habit so she doesn't accidentally blurt something out that she thinks will make our father annoyed. My father and his irascibility have made us all a lot more wary of the words that come out of our mouths. I absentmindedly stare at something on the wall, and my vision becomes unfocussed while the woman and her monotonous voice continues to badger my father with questions.

"Okay, we're going to have to do an sDNA test Mr. Peterson." The woman says, and my father just nods.

After waiting for a while, the test is over, and the woman comes back with papers in her hands.

"Mr. Peterson, do you know how severe your cancer is?" The woman asks.

"I just know that it's colon cancer, why?" My father says nonchalantly.

"You have Stage IV Colon cancer, and the chances of a surgery curing this is very unlikely." The woman says, she seems phlegmatic about this.

Vanessa and my mother are on the verge of tears, and they both are covering their mouths with their hands to keep their sobs from coming. Brendan is trying to act like he's macho, but in his eyes, there's a dismal look. I feel like someone just punched me in the stomach, and I feel the lump forming in my throat.

My father's cancer has reached the point of no return, and no matter what the doctors do, he's still going to die. Like the woman said, even a surgery wouldn't guarantee him surviving. My chest aches, and I wish that Alex was by my side to comfort me. As soon as I get home tonight, I'm going to wrap her in my arms for as long as I can.

After the appointment, the ride home forces tears out of my eyes, and the woman's voice echoes in my head. My father doesn't say anything to anyone once we walk through the grand doors, and he just walks up the stairs and the door slams loudly. The sound causes me to jump slightly, and I let out a distressed sigh.

"Momma-," I start, but then I stop because I don't know what to say.

I can't keep telling her that everything will be okay, when we all know that it won't be. I can't try to make myself think positively when there's no hope left. I can't watch my family continue to grieve while my dad acts like everything is okay.

I can't.

I go up to my room, and I begin to pack my stuff up again, because today was the last day I was planning to stay here. I need to go back to Alex and Bruno, and of course the hospital. I open the curtains, and I watch as the sky's palette changes from calming blues, to deep orange and fuchsia. I hear knocking on the door, and I walk over and open it. Vanessa stands in front of me, and her eye make up is smudged. She holds a tissue in one of her hands, while the other hand trembles.

"C'mere V." I say sympathetically, and she wraps her arms around me.

Her sobs jolt my body, and I rub her back slowly. Her crying is muffled by my shirt, and I try to stifle a sob as well.

"Can we talk before you have to go back to San Fransisco?" She begs, and I instantly nod.

We sit next to each other on the bed, and she continues to wipe underneath her eyes with the tissue.

"I just can't seem to grasp this reality." She says and stares out of the window.

"I don't think I can either," I admit, and I swallow hard. "I didn't know his condition was that severe."

"Me either! The old bastard acts like he's perfectly normal, and that his health is in no danger at all!" She says, her voice progressively hardening.

"Nessa-," I say sternly.

"No! Dad acting like he's okay is just making this a whole lot more depressing. It's just-, I can't!" She shouts, and I look at her somberly.

"I know, this is hard." I say, and I pull her in for another hug. "Your anger won't help either, Nessa."

"You're right, I need to just take a breather. Go on a walk, or something." She says calmly, and she takes deep breaths.

After I say goodbye to everyone, I place my bag in the trunk of my car before Vanessa and I walk all around the outside of the mansion, and for a while, we say nothing to each other. I just listen to the sound of the birds chirping and the fountain water streaming.

"Thanks Rian, I just needed someone to talk to. Brendan is just an asshole, and he wouldn't care. I don't want to make mom even more upset than she already is so, yeah." She explains, and I smile.

"I'll do anything to help out my little sister." I say playfully, and she shoves me.

"I guess we'll see you on Christmas." Vanessa says.

"Definitely," I say with a smile. "Bye, V."

"Stay safe on the drive home." She says, and gives me one last hug.

"I will, don't worry. I love you."

"I love you, too."

She smiles at me again, and she runs back inside of the house and closes the large doors behind her. I take a final glance at the house before I get in my car and start the drive back home. By the time I arrive back to my house, it's around 7:30 p.m. I take my bag out of the car, and I open the front door.

"Bruno!" I exclaim, and I set my stuff down so I can pet him and hold him.

He barks excitedly and wags his tail, and his tongue hangs out of his mouth. He licks my face, and I pat his back.

"Where's Alex, huh Bruno? Do you know where she is?" I ask in a goofy voice.

Bruno follows me around while I look for Alex, and when I open the bedroom door, I see her. Her eyes widen and gleam with joy while she runs up to me.

"Rian!" She exclaims, wrapping her arms around me.

Alex kisses me, and all of my sorrow from earlier today seems to have disappeared. I smile at her appearance, and I place my hands on her waist. Her hair is messy, and she's in a tank top and leggings. No make up on her already beauteous face.

"How was Sacramento?" She asks curiously, and I cup her face in my hands.

"Pretty nice to see my family again, but today we got some pretty bad news." I say, trying to swallow the newly formed lump in my throat.

"What happened, Rian?" She asks while caressing my upper arms.

"Well, my father had his first cancer treatment appointment today. They did an sDNA test on him, and I don't think that there's anything they can do." I say, frustrated wiping away my tears.

"What'd they say?" Alex asks, and her voice begins to shake.

"He has Stage IV Colon cancer, and they don't even think a surgery will help."

"Rian, I'm so sorry. I wish that things were different for you and your family." Alex says softly, and she traces circles on my lower back.

"I just didn't think it was that bad! I thought that after a surgery, or lots of chemotherapy that he'd be cured. I guess not. I just have to accept the fact that my father's life has been taken away from him, and he can't get it back." I say, and I rub my temples.

"What can I do?" Alex says, and she places her head on my shoulder while continuing to make designs on my back.

"What do you mean?" I ask. "There's nothing that can be done."

"What can I do to make you feel better? Especially with everything that's going on. I just want to love you and hold you in my arms until the pain starts to fade, and you forget about everything. Even just for a little while." She says compassionately.

"Alex, having you to vent to makes me feel better. Just you being here, it feels right." I say gratefully.

She smiles at me, and I lean in to kiss her. Alex kisses me back, and my whole body is filled with butterflies. I cup her face in my hands again, and our lips don't separate for a while. We pull away for a second to get air, and we both grin before we keep kissing. Our noses bump into each other, and Alex lets out a low, vaguely provocative giggle before biting my lip. My blood begins to boil with ardor, maybe even concupiscence.

Our lips tangle together again, and we slowly lower ourselves on the bed.

This temptation has taken over me.

Shock runs through my body, and I'm surprised at how far this is going. How far is Alex allowing this to go on?

Is she comfortable with this?

My breaths become noticeably shaky whenever we touch, and my heart is beating so fast that it feels like it's about to pop out of my chest. I slip one of my hands underneath her tank top, and she gasps. I stop, and we're both breathing heavily and staring at each other.

"Still too soon, Alex?" I ask, genuinely concerned about how she feels about this happening.

About...us being carnal in my bed.

"I-, I don't know." She admits, and she sits up.

"I can't keep my hands to myself when we're together, no matter how hard I try." I admit, staring directly into her eyes.

Her cheeks blush, and her eyes widen almost instantly.

I shouldn't have said that, but it's true.

Alex just makes me feel...good.

Like my mother said, it's ineffable. Too good to describe. Normally, I'm quite ambivalent and unsure of most things. Alex isn't one of them.

The silence between Alex and I isn't awkward, but it isn't comforting either. She keeps opening and closing her mouth like she's about to say something, but she stays speechless. I want to say something as well, but I'm tongue-tied. Instead of saying anything, we just look at each other. It's like how we looked into each other's eyes and souls before we kissed for the first time. I turn my head, and I realize that Bruno had been watching us.

I let out a chuckle, and beckon Bruno to join us on the bed. Bruno sits in Alex's lap, and I smile at the both of them.

"Bruno and I became great friends while you were in Sacramento." Alex says.

The lack of eye contact now makes me feel tense, and slightly embarrassed.

"Not surprised, he loves people. You're a friendly person, too."

"Thanks," she says and lets out an awkward laugh. She's so adorable.

I move a strand of hair from her face, and tuck it behind her ear. Alex bites her lip, and her eyes follow mine while I do this. I gently place my forehead against hers, and she gives me a gentle peck on the lips.

"I think we should-, uh-, get some sleep." She stammers, and I just smile before nodding my head in agreement.

"Me too, I'm exhausted. After the day I've had, I need to sleep to forget my reality for a while." I say.

I turn so that I'm on my side, and Alex turns on her side, and she faces me.

"Rian?"

"Alexandrianna?" I say, and smile because I love how her name sounds as it rolls off of my tongue.

"I hope that you sleep well, and I just want you to know that I'll be here for you whenever you need me to be."

"That means a lot, Alexandrianna. Thank you." I say appreciatively.

She falls asleep in a matter of minutes, and I watch her intently. I study her facial features, and I notice that she has a few acne spots on her cheek. I lift up my hand, and I irresolutely stroke her cheek. I smile at how her skin feels on my finger tips, and I place a kiss on her forehead and her lips. Bruno comes between us, and I pet him gently before I fall into a deep, but troubled sleep.