《Those Darn Sexy Kidnappers》Christmas Bonus Chapter: Letters to Santa
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Dearest Santa,
Quit slacking off.
I asked for a hot wheels car two years ago, and you got me a shirt.
So last year I asked for a hot wheels car again, and you got me some pants.
So this year I am asking for a hot wheels car again, and I if I get any clothes-related items this year, there will be consequences.
Yo, Santa!
What's bumping, Man? Look, I know you are like, super busy and all, so I'll make it easier for you. All I want is eighty million dollars. Too much? You're right. Let's make it 5 thousand. Merry Christmas!
PS. Don't give Kenzie anything. If she tells you she's been good, she's lying.
Dear Gift-bringer,
I am expecting a vast amount of gifts this year.
Dear Santa,
I am so sorry for what I did. I thought I could be good for a whole week, but it seemed I did not succeed. I will try harder next year. Can I get presents anyway?
Dear Santa,
How are you doing on the presents? My mother said you would not be coming due to the results of the presidential election, but I still believe in you. For Christmas, I want a boyfriend. I think I would also like a second boyfriend, in case the first one runs away. Merry holidays, old man! How old are you, anyway?
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