《The Heart Wants What It Wants ✔️》Ch. 14
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All my life I've felt empty and alone. When Jaxon and the rest came into my life, I felt like I could actually be friends with them. I felt complete with them. I guess I was wrong.
At this moment, I don't feel alone. I don't feel empty. In fact, I don't feel anything at all. I'm numb. At this point, my heart was used to the pain. It didn't even have energy to long for Jaxon. I couldn't keep going on. I have no purpose. Tell me, what/ who am I supposed to live for? Nobody cares for me.
Why is it that depressed people are almost always those who are abused or bullied or both? Can I be classified as depressed? I'm not sure; I never checked. Doctor's and Medicine are too expensive.
I didn't know what to do with life anymore. What purpose do I have? Most people have a dream they want to achieve, but I don’t. You need a dream to achieve it, and I don't have one. So now what?
I lie in bed thinking of my future. Is it bad that I can't see myself past the age of 21? I stare up at the ceiling with Mike whining by my side. I haven't paid any attention to him when I got home. I ran to my bedroom and flopped down on my bed.
I hated being alone in times like these. It gives me really depressing thoughts. You may already know this...
Hearing a knock on the door, I stood up and opened it. I smiled lightly at the person in front of me. I haven't seen him in a while.
"Hey Chris" I greet him
"I finally found you!!!" He cheers happily
"What do you mean?" I ask
"I've been going around the whole 6th floor asking if anyone knows where you live. After a lot of "I don't know", There was this woman who said she knows what hall you live in. I continued knocking my way to your room" He smiles cheekily at me
"Oh god" I forced out a little laugh
"Why?" I ask him
"Well...I'm new to the area and was wondering if you'd show me around? You're my only friend here" He says
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"Okay okay. I wasn't doing anything anyway. I'll just get changed real quick" I open the door wider to let him in
"Hey Mike!!!" He says as he squats down. He plays with Mike as I get ready. I changed into an ocean blue tank top paired with my white shorts and white converse. I grabbed my purse and went back out. Chris looks up and smiles widely at me.
"You look amazing" He says, and I smile thankfully in response.
We head out to the mall nearby. I was so thankful that Chris wanted to hang out today. I would've still been contemplating about my sad life if he hadn't came. Chris was really fun to hang out with. He was talkative and funny. I barely talked this whole time. I just kept laughing at his stories and jokes.
I found out that Chris was in his first year in college. His college was quite near here which is why he moved here. He wants to be a vet. He came from a place far from here. His parents are currently travelling the world. He has an older sister who is a lawyer, and she is engaged. He talked about so many more things but those were the important ones.
After hours of walking around and talking, we took a break and ate dinner at a Mexican restaurant we found.
"Okay okay okay. I've been talking way too much for way too long. It's your turn. I wanna know more about you" He pokes me nose when he says "you"
"There's literally nothing to tell. I'm one of the most boring person you will ever meet" I say
"Noooo. No one is ever boring. Tell me something interesting about yourself"
"Just ask me some questions, and I'll answer."
"Okay...What do you wanna be when you grow up?" He clasps his hands together and leans forward, making it seem like I'm in an interview.
"I have absolutely no idea" I laugh slightly
"Well you have to because you're graduating soon" He pokes my nose again
"Why do you keep poking my nose" I scrunch up my nose
"You're just so cute! I can't help myself" He says. I immediately blush bright red. I can not get used to guys complimenting me. Can you blame me though? I've never had a guy actually truly like me.
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"Awwwwww. You look like a tomatooooo" He says
"Stooooppp" I whine and hide my face.
He begins questioning me more and more. He listened intently as I talked and actually looked interested in what I had to say. I felt the sadness from before leaving. He treated me so nicely and special. He's a great person, but I'm still really cautious. Everyone puts up a nice facadè around people they're not that close with. Everyone in my life made me feel special and wanted at first, but they all ended up leaving me.
"Harley?? Harrrrllleeyy!!"
I snap out of my thoughts and smile sheepishly at Chris.
"Sorry" I say
"Awww am I boring you?" He pouts
"No! No no no. I was just thinking. You're not boring at all!" I say
"Woahh chill Har. I was just kidding. I know I'm awesome" He flips his imaginary long hair.
"Har?" I raise my eyebrow at him
"Yes, Har. That's your new nickname from me. Only I can use it. That aside, HOW DID YOU DO THAT?!" He exclaims suddenly
"Do what?" I furrow my eyebrows in confusion
"You raised just one eyebrow! How the hell did you do that?!" He says
"What? This?" I raise my left eyebrow.
"Yes!! That looks so freaking cool!!! Teach me how to do that!!!" He says excitedly
"Well I mean I just...do it. I don't know how to teach it" I shrug
"Aww dang. Well I can move my ears!!" He says
"No way" My eyes widen as he shows me. His ears are literally moving.
"That is so cool!!" I exclaim
"Hehehe thanks" He chuckles
Our little exciting moment is interrupted by our food arriving. We dig in but don't stop talking.
"Hey, Do you have a boyfriend?" He says
"Nope! I'm single and have been single since I was born." I say
"You're lying." He puts his fork down
"I'm not!" I laugh
"A pretty and amazing girl like you is single? How is that even possible?!" He says
"No guy has ever liked me." I shrug
"Guys in your school must all be blind" He shakes his head
"Why are you asking?"
"Uhm c-cause...cause if you did then I would be dead since we basically went out on a date today. I don't wanna steal another guy's girl. That's just terrible." He mumbles something else that I couldn't hear.
I blushed bright red at what he says. Today was kind of like a date. Plus we are eating dinner together, isn't that what you do on a date? I mean in every romance movie that I've seen, they always end up going out for dinner...
I look up to see him red faced as well. I clear my throat making him look up at me.
"This food is really spicy" I say
"Yup! I'm burning up" He laughs
We both laugh and the tension is gone. We're back to chatting and laughing. In a matter of no time, our desserts soon come.
Just like before, the bell on the door rings. A new customer has arrived. I didn't mind them as usual because I was laughing at what Chris had said. It wasn't until a shadow loomed over us that I took my eyes off Chris. I looked up and almosy groaned out loud.
"Hey...guys." I smiled lightly at them
"Hey Harley! Who's this?" Reece smiles at me
"This is Chris. He lives in the floor below us" I say
"Chris this is Reece, Kaden, and Jaxon. They go to my school. Reece is in my floor."
"Hi! Nice to meet you." Chris greets them with a friendly smile
"So how is she paying you? Money? Sex?"
My heart aches as these words come out of his mouth. I thought that he changed...I thought that he felt guilty about before. I was wrong. I was so wrong. You can't change him.
Jaxon Parker is an asshole bad boy. He is rude, mean, and fake.
Yet, unfortunately, my heart wants him.
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