I made a pasta casserole for Cal, Hallie, and myself. Jace, obviously wasn't here.

"So Hallie, how was kindergarten today?" I asked sweetly.

"Awful." She replied and shove a forkful of pasta into her mouth.

"Wanna talk about it?" I asked when she was done chewing.

"No." she said and shoved more pasta in her mouth.

She obviously didn't want to talk about it.

"What about soccer practice?" I asked and her face lit up.

"It was so fun! I love soccer! But Tristan pushed me down." She said with a pout.

"Aww I'm sorry sweetie." I replied.

"Next time you should kick him." Cal said.

"Ca-" I began.

"Like this?" Hallie asked and kicked Cal in the leg.

"Ow!" Cal shouted and looked at me expectantly.

"That was your fault." I said with a pointed look, "But Hallie don't kick your brother."

We sat in silence for a few minutes before Cal spoke up, "Dinner was amazing, Lexi, you're such a good cook." I glanced at him and raised an eyebrow. I'd been a babysitter too long to not know where this was going. "And I was wondering... if I could be excus-"

My phone cut him off.

"Sorry Cal, hold on." I said while I answered the call.

"Hey Alexis." A low voice said from the other line.

"Jace?" I asked.

"Yeah." He replied.

"Where are you?" I asked, "and why aren't you home?"

Hallie was looking at me with a confused little pout on her face, and Cal was looking concerned.

"The ol-" he ran off into a mumble.

"What?" I questioned.

"You know what? Nevermind." He said and hung up.

"Where is he?" Cal asked warily.

"I don't know, he said something about the ol- but then he stopped." I informed.

"God damnit Jace." Cal said banging his fist on the table. "He said he wouldn't go to the old bridge again."

"You know, lets go into the living room." I suggested and Cal and I got up as we walked into the living room.

Oh no.

Oh no he didn't.

"We gotta go get him." Cal said.

"Why? He's a big boy, he can handle himself." I said. So maybe I was a bit hostile from earlier, but honestly, I didn't think he'd want us bothering him and his friends.

"No, Lexi you don't understand. We have to go get him." Cal pleaded with me. His voice was uneven, and his eyes were... glassy?

"Cal, calm down. What's wrong?" I asked.

"You know what? It's fine, I'm fine. Everything is fine." Cal said. He was hyperventilating at this point.

"No, Cal tell me what's wrong." I said, I was beginning to panick, and when I panicked my 'take control of everything/control freak' persona and voice came out.

"I can't, I can't, I can't, nothing is wrong. I can't tell you what's wrong. I can't, I cant, I can't.

Now I was freaking out. Cal was full on sobbing in a ball on the floor, and Hallie was beginning to cry also.

Where was the usual controlling me?

The collected and calm one that came out under pressure?

Why was I completely freaking out?

I had no clue what to do at all. I'd never been in a situation like this before, and it was so frustrating that I was almost crying myself.

"Cal! You need to take deep breaths! Calm down!" I pleaded with him.

Hallie walked over to Cal and me.

There were tears streaming down her face.

"What's wrong with Callie?" She asked with a wavering voice, and then proceeded to break out in full on waterworks.

"Shhh, sweetie it's ok." I said picking her up.

I put her down a second later however when Cal's breathing started to shallow and he began coughing and clutching at his throat.

I ran to Cal, and turned him over from his fetal position.

"I can't breathe." He rasped out, "I'm dying." He said.

"No you're not Cal." I said, by then a few tears escaped my eyes too.

And then it came to me.

I picked up the phone and rang him. He picked up by the first ring.

"What's happening?" He asked.

"C-Cal." I stuttered, "H-he's he's- I don't know what's happening Jace! Please come home."

"Get his inhaler." Jace said quickly. "It's in his lacrosse bag."

I ran towards his lacrosse bag which was lying in the entry hallway and grabbed the inhaler. I ran back to Cal and handed it to him. When it was clear he wasn't going to do anything, I forced it into his mouth.

"Try to breathe in Cal." I said. Tyler had an inhaler so I had a basic grasp of how they worked. "One." Click, "Two." Click, "Three." Click.

I helped him used his inhaler, and did three hits to make sure he got it.

His breathing began to calm down, and he no longer seemed as though he was being strangled by an invisible force.

"Ok, I did it." I said into the phone.

"I'll be there in a few minutes, don't worry." He said.

And he doesn't hang up.

He stays on the phone with me, maybe to hear what's going on with us, or maybe because he knows that I have no clue what to do.

But it's like I'm not alone anymore, and that tiny gesture makes my heart warm.

"What's happening right now?" He asked after a while of silence.

I had my phone on speaker, resting on the coffee table as I tried to calm Cal down.

I got him a glass of water, I held his hand, I forced him to breathe.

He was still sobbing uncontrollably, and I had no idea why or how to stop it.

The door unlocked before I could answer, and Jace ran right to his little brother.

Instantly, as if a magic switch had been flipped, Cal stopped crying, other than a few wavering breaths, and he was no longer hyperventilating.

"Alexis," Jace says, and my name rolls off his tongue like smooth silk. " put Hallie to bed, and I'll handle Cal."

I nod. I still don't trust myself not to start crying. I'm usually so calm under pressure, and of course the one time it matters, I broke.

Watching Cal say he was dying and not being able to do anything about it made me feel awul and useless.

I carry Hallie, who had just stopped crying and was now stifling a yawn, up to bed.

I dressed her in her pajamas, brushed her teeth, brushed her hair, and put her into bed.

She was asleep the second her head hit the pillow.

"Night, Hal." I said and walked downstairs to grab my bag of clothes and necessities for the next few days.

As I got to the bottom of the stairs, I saw Jace carrying a sleeping Cal up the stairs.

I walked back up the stairs with them to open Cal's door for Jace.

I pulled back Cal's sheets and Jace gently set him down in the bed. He brushed some of Cal's hair that was plastered to his head out of his eyes in a caring way.

I couldn't see how this Jace would ever make Cal think that he would take his girlfriend. I guess Jace loved his siblings more than they knew...

Jace and I walked downstairs together after I dropped my bag in my room, "So I guess you want an explanation." He stated.

"Couldn't hurt." I said with a small smile.

"The Old Bridge is a dangerous place." Jace said after blowing a huff of air through his mouth.

"I know." I said.

"But do you?" Jace asked, and once seeing my confused expression, he clarified, "Gangs, weed, coke, alcohol, fights for money, races."

I knew about the drugs and alcohol, but not the fights and races.

"And it doesn't help that there have been a few deaths there..." Jace trailed off with an innocent shrug of his shoulders.

"Deaths?" I exclaimed, "what were you thinking? And my brother went there... oh he is so going to get it!" I was fuming with Tyler.

"Anyways, after my mom and dad's divorce, I'd go there all the time. And then one night I was babysitting Cal. My mom had taken Hallie with her to a buisness conference. I was scheduled for a street fight. I brought Cal and left him with one of my dudes. He was eleven and I was fifteen.

"Long story short, Cal watched me beat up a guy twice my size, and then one of his cronies whipped out a knife. We escaped unscathed except for this scar, " he said lifting up his shirt.

I almost gasped at the sight of him shirtless. He didn't quite have a six pack, but his stomach was flat and his abs were very defined. The only blemish was a white scar about five inches long across his right side. It stretched from the top of his rib almost down to his hip bone, and unconsciously I felt myself reaching out to touch it.

Jace flinched a bit when my hand touched his side, probably because my hands were cold.

He took a deep breath and continued, "we made it out of there safe, except for this scar, and severe panic attacks for Cal."

Maybe that's why Cal thought something of that about his brother. Maybe unconsciously, he still had bad memories tied to Jace.

"I've regretted it every day." Jace said. His voice was unnaturally low. He'd long since pulled his shirt down, and we just sat together on the couch. I looked over towards Jace and saw his eyes were unnaturally watery.

Today, everything about Jace Johnson was unnatural.

"I hadn't gone back since that day, but lately I have and I don't know how to stop." He said.

For some reason I felt like I should do something, so I put my hand on his arm in a gesture of comfort. He didn't move away so I took that as a good sign, in fact, he moved slightly closer to me.

"When did you first start going back?" I asked.

"The day you saw me there with Tyler, dad was supposed to take care of us, but he bailed. And then mom hired you." Jace said.

"I'm sorry." I told him.

"Don't be, not your fault."

"Anyways, i went then. And today, and I would've gone back tomorrow, but I can't put Cal through that." He said.

And then the most unnatural part of Jace Johnson that I'd ever seen came out.

He shut his eyes, and two perfect crystal tears rolled down his cheeks in perfect sync.

Jace Johnson was crying in front of me.

Because it seemed like the best thing to do to comfort him in the moment, I put my arm around Jace, and he used his arms to pull me closer, and then he proceeded to wrap them around me.

And we stayed like that until I guess we drifted off into a sleep, because one minute I was awake, and then I was safe in a peaceful sleep.