《Long Sleeves are my Friend [Complete]》Chapter 8 ✔
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****Trigger Warning****there will content in this chapter that might be a trigger to you so read at your own risk. I'll put stars* when it begins and ends if you want to skip over it. Okay, that's all, continue.
Edit: Hey, sorry I didn't think about it when I wrote this chapter before, but the star part includes self-harm. I noticed the comments and felt bad that I didn't specify what it was. Well, cya...
"So, I was thinking, for our project, we could meet at the library in town or something," Xander says as he stands next to me. Xander meets up with me at my locker at the end of the day to discuss plans for our project. I really hope my brother doesn't see us.
"Yea...Yeah, sounds good," I say half-listening as I keep an eye out for my brother. I watch as Anthony turn the corner. If he catches me I'm in deep trouble. I look around, trying to find some sort of exit, a bathroom or something but it's too late by the time he sees me. He narrows his eyes before starting to stalk towards us, Xander not even noticing. I start shaking slightly from the panic flooding through me. Xander seems to notice my change of emotion and reaches to touch me but I flinch away, taking a step back.
Xander looks at me confused, "Hey, what's wrong?" he asks, concerned as he looks around. Before I could answer him, Anthony makes it over to us with a fake smile on his face, putting on the nice brother façade of a loving brother.
"Hey, sis. Our father just texted me and told me that he need us at home right away," He says but I know that isn't true. It's because I'm talking with someone, especially a guy. I'm so getting it when I get home. I let out a sigh, turning to leave but Xander stops me.
"Can I get your number, so I can text you about the project," I glance over at my brother, who is glaring at me with his arms crossed.
I turn back to Xander, "I don't have a phone so, I'll just...uh...talk to you tomorrow about it," I say, adding a fake smile.
He raises an eyebrow, "Oh...okay, alright see you around," He says, waving slightly, before walking away with his head downcast slightly.
I glance back at my brother, "Let's go," Anthony says, irritation in his tone. He starts walking out of the school building, me reluctantly walking behind him. We get to his car and I get in the passenger seat, while he gets on the driver side. I buckle my seat belt as does he. He turns the key in the ignition, without saying a word. Oh, this is practically worse than yelling. His knuckle grips the steering wheel as they start turning white, making panic rush through me.
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He pulls in the driveway and exits the car. He unlocks the front door, holding it open, waiting for me to enter. Before I can turn around to explain myself to him, he shoves me to the ground. I whimper in pain.
He lets out a low laugh, "So, my little slut of a sister has got herself a boyfriend, has she? Well, what am I to do about that?" he antagonizes, as he towers over me. He kicks me in the stomach and I grunt from the impact.
My arms clutch around my stomach, as I have trouble finding my voice, "He...he's not my...boyfriend," I say, coughing between my words.
He kicks me again, harder this time, causing coughs to rack through my body, "Don't fucking lie to me whore!" He grits out, grabbing the collar of my shirt, pulling me from the ground and slaps me across the face. My head turns from the impact as the hot tears roll down my cheeks.
"What are you offering him...huh? Sex, money...what?" He questions, his grip tightening on my collar.
"What? Noth...nothing," I mutter in confusion.
"Oh, come on...No one would want to be around you willingly," he laughs, like it's the most obvious thing in the world, "He must be wanting some cheap, ugly slut. So, answer me,"
"It's nothing like that...We are just working on a project, I promise. We were just going to work at the library...a public place just to do the project I swear!" I plead with him. He looks at me unconvinced before throwing me to the ground again. My elbow hits the ground and I whimper as the pain shoots up my arm.
"Just remember, I could do worse to you bitch," he spits out, before walking out the front door and it slams behind him.
I sigh in relief, knowing he's gone...but his harsh words aren't.
Fat
Ugly
Slut
'Come on, you'll feel better' my inner thoughts rush through my head. It's been awhile...but...I can stop whenever I want. This is my choice! Right?
"I just want to feel better," I mumble to myself as the tears start brimming my eyes. I slowly ascend the stairs, heading towards my bedroom. I enter my room and go to my drawers, finding what I'm looking for all the way in the back, where I left them last.
After grabbing them, I head to the bathroom. I look at myself in the mirror as the tears start to slowly stream down my face. "What have I done to bring myself to do this?" I whisper to myself.
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I slowly start peeling off my shirt and pants, glancing at my bruises and scared body. The bruises are already forming into a black and purple color. The cuts are from myself and my brother...I can't take it...
His words keep repeating over and over again in my head. I shake my head, my hands trail up and grip my hair.
I just want it to stop!
***Self-Harm****
'Why don't you just kill yourself? No one wants you here! No one cares about you! Your own mother left you, then you killed your only friend! It was all your FAULT! Everything is your FAULT!' My viscous thoughts clouding my mind. I don't want to die, I just don't want it to stop...
I take the razor, holding it to my wrist before slowly dragging it across my skin. Blood beads, soon dripping down my arm. I do one...then another...and another...I can't stop. The pain is just...addicting.
I drag lines across my stomach, as I scream the words inside my head.
'fat'
My hips
'ugly'
Thighs
'slut'
'Everything...is...your...fault'
I drop the razor, slumping against the cold tile floor. Blood streak down my body, as I breathe heavily, to try and calm myself back down. Silent tears stream down my face as I just sit there, enjoying the stinging pain rushing through my body.
After sitting there for, I don't know how long, I slowly get up from the ground. I stumble slightly to the shower. I don't even wait for the water to warm before stepping in, not really caring at the moment. I hiss in pain as the water runs over my fresh cuts. I watch the water mix with the blood, as it rinces from my body and going down the drain.
I take my rag and gently clean the blood that remains on my body. After I have finished, I get out of the shower, wrapping a towel around my body. I pick up my razor from the floor, rinsing it off. I grab another rage and clean the blood from the floor.
******
I walk out of the bathroom, walking down the hall to my room. I enter my room and put on some comfortable clothes to just lay down to, hopefully, relax. After putting on some long sweater pants and an overly baggy sweater, I lay down on my bed, feeling sudden fatigue wash over me. I feel my eyes start to shut but quickly open them when I hear a knock at the door. Who could that be?
I slowly descend the stairs, feeling my clothes brush against my cuts, cringing as I do. I get to the door, opening it slightly and my eyes widen in complete shock.
What is he doing here?! Panic rushes through me as he stands there with a half-smile etched on his face. What if my father comes home early or Anthony come back home from where ever he is? What if they do worse than they have already done to me. I try to calm my rapid breathing but it's not working. What if they actually kill me if they see a guy over at my house?
He looks at me confused, "Hey, what's wrong?" Xander asks looking upset.
I take an unconscious step back, "I...I need you to...leave," I force out through uneven breaths, trying to calm the panic flooding my mind.
"Hey, I just wanted to talk to you," He says hopeful, while showing concern.
I look around quickly, seeing if anyone is around, "Now...now is not a good time," I say starting to shut the door once more, but he puts his foot between the door. Why is he making this so freaking difficult for me?
"Please?" He pleads.
I close my eyes for a moment, letting out a shaky breath, "No, I'm...I'm sorry. Please leave," Panic overwhelms me and I feel my heart beat against my chest, and start breathing rapidly. I start to feel like I'm choking as I start gasping for air. I hear a faint 'Emilia' before my vision starts to fade before I feel myself falling. I feel someone grab me, soon black completely clouds vision.
I hope this chapter wasn't too much for anyone. But,
I'm at 74 reads already!
And I dedicate this chapter to
for being my first commenter on my book. Thanks for the support and to all who have read my book!
Till next time.
Ba-bye :)
EDIT: I hope you enjoyed..until next edit :)
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