12

❦𝓡𝓸𝓼𝓮❦

I'm startled awake by the sound of something crashing. "Fucking hell, Isaiah. Be quiet, you're gonna wake her up." A voice that I'm pretty sure belongs to Blake hisses.

"What the hell! It's not like I meant to drop the pan on my foot." Isaiah hissed back.

"Oh my gosh, you both are like children in the morning. Where the fuck is the coffee." Ace's voice travels across the apartment.

"I drank it all." Isaiah says. I hear a loud thud followed by a whimper. "Owe, fuck. What the hell? You're gonna give me a concussion one of these times!" He cries out.

"Shut the hell up, and make more coffee, you jackass." Ace spits out.

I don't think he's a morning person.

"If you want coffee, make it for your Goddamn self." Isaiah yells back.

"Your dumb-ass drank it all, so you make more." Ace says with venom dripping from every word.

"Fuck no." Isaiah yells back.

"Will you both shut the fuck up!?" Blake yells, this time sounding beyond annoyed and about ready to start swinging.

"If you want me to shut up, you make the coffee then." Ace says, but it sounds like a threat.

They sound like they're going to kill each other. I push the blankets off of me and run to the bathroom to brush my teeth as quickly as I can.

I'll have to go make Ace some coffee, that should calm everyone down.

"Don't even start with me, Ace." Blake growls.

I rinse my mouth out, and then start my way down the hallway to the angry voices.

"Someone better make some fucking coffee then because I'm about to lose it." Ace threatens.

"Make your own coffee, you lazy piece of shit." Isaiah scoffs.

I peek my head around the corner to find them all surrounding the island in the kitchen glaring at each other.

"I can make the coffee." I offer.

All heads snap in my direction as they hear my voice. Blake's head falls back as he lets out a grunt. "I told you Assholes to be quiet! You woke her up!" He grumbles.

A course of sorrys float around the kitchen and I can't help but smile at the grumpy men.

"Where are the beans at?" I ask, stepping fully into the kitchen.

"Don't worry about it. I'll make it." Ace says, he steps around me and opens a cabinet that they keep the coffee in. Isaiah motions to a seat at the island, so I walk over and sit in it.

"I'm making myself some pancakes, do you want some?" Isaiah offers. I haven't had pancakes in forever.

I grin up at him and nod my head. "Yeah, if that's alright." Isaiah ruffles my hair. "Course it is, Cupcake." He laughs out.

"Don't poison her." Blake says as he gives Isaiah the stink eye.

"Like I would ever do that." He scoffs rolling his eyes.

A few minutes later Isaiah slides a plate of pancakes in front of me along with some syrup. "Thank you." I smile.

"No problem, Cupcake. So I was thinking, since we keep bumping into each other, that you should tell me what your number is." Isaiah says, as casual as one can be.

I swallow the lump in my throat. Oh boy, this is awkward. How am I supposed to explain that I don't even have a phone, without looking like a complete loser.

"Isaiah!" Ace scolds. His coffee finished brewing a minute ago and after just a few sips his scowl is already fading. Or it was that is, until Isaiah asked for my number.

"You don't have to give it to him." He says as he glances over at me before scowling at Isaiah again. "I knew you had an ulterior motive when you asked if she wanted pancakes."

"I did not! I was just trying to do Blake a favor, but gosh you all think I'm such a bad guy!" He proclaims. I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, why would making me pancakes be doing Blake a favor?

Blake's head snaps in my direction with a hint of panic showing on his blue eyes, then whips his head to Isaiah and starts glaring."You fucker, get out of my house." Blake growls.

"Fuck no." Isaiah pushes out of his seat and crosses his arms.

"What's happening?" I ask, having no clue what's going on between them. Seems to be the usual whenever I'm around them though.

"Blake wanted your number, but he's too afraid to ask!" Isaiah yells, followed by ear splitting screaming as he runs away from Blake who just jumped across the island trying to tackle him.

"I'm gonna fucking kill you." Blake warned, cracking his neck to get ready for the next lunge.

The two of them are running around the island and Ace stands off to the side silently sipping his coffee. He glances over at me every few seconds, almost like he's trying to make sure I'm doing ok.

"Get. Out. Of. My. House." Blake seethes.

"Fine." Isaiah shrugs. "But Cupcake is coming with me!" He shouts. I feel arms circle around my waist as I'm hoisted up off the chair and yanked against a hard chest.

"Ahhh!" My voice screeches, I wasn't prepared to be kidnapped this early in the morning. I didn't even get to eat the pancakes.

I look up, and the sight in front of me sucks all the air out of my lungs.

Blake looks ready to kill, his eyes are dark and cold. His body is tight and rigid as he sucks in short breaths. I would be scared out of my mind if I thought that any of that anger was directed at me.

But Blake doesn't spare me a glance, his cold eyes stare directly at Isaiah. The arms around my waist loosen as Isaiah mumbles a few curse words.

Blake starts to walk over towards us, his steps are slow as he closes the distance.

I should be scared, but I'm not, I'm more intrigued than anything. When Blake gets close to us Isaiah pushes me forward, causing me to fall against Blake. "I surrender! Please don't kill me, I still have to pass math!" He yells, using the collision of Blake and I's body as a distraction, he darts around Blake and to the other side of the kitchen.

"Don't use me as a shield you dumb fuck." Ace grunts as Isaiah tries to hide behind him, but Ace keeps stepping out of the way with a smirk on his face.

They kinda look like they are dancing and it sends a giggle flying out of my mouth. "What are you laughing about?" Blake speaks quietly. I notice that his hands are on my arms, probably from catching me when Isaiah pushed me, it sends a shiver up my spine.

"They look like middle schoolers trying to dance." I state. Blake's face lifts up into a grin as he looks over to the two guys spinning circles around each other.

"They do, don't they." I'm surprised at how different he is at this moment. Just seconds ago he looked deadly, but now his eyes have returned to their normal steely blue and his face is bright as he observes his two friends running around the kitchen.

His gaze shifts back to me, his smile turns warm as his eyes roam over my face. "Sorry about them." He apologies.

He's close, so close that I can feel his body heat, his hands that encase my arms are rough but his touch is gentle. My heart pounds in my chest, but not from fear or unease like usual.

It's from something completely foren.

"It's ok." My voice comes out weak and I internally scold myself. I can't ever seem to be tough around these boys.

"Don't give him your number. He'll text you every ten minutes once you leave." I don't think I'd mind that at all, if I had a phone that is.

Someone to talk to when I'm huddled up in the back of Jack, all alone, the sky dark, the idea of that sends a surge of excitement throughout my brain. A friend, something I always stayed away from, not because I wanted to. No, not at all because of that, it was because I was told to. I couldn't have friends, I wasn't allowed to have people like me, to want to be around me.

That was one of the biggest rules.

The one guy I broke that rule for, the one person I decided to have as a friend. He turned out to be someone who haunts my nightmares to this day.

The idea of having them as friends is both daunting and intoxicating.

"You could give it to me though. Only if you want to." He blurted.

I want to, so badly that if I could spare any of the money I have to buy a phone, I would. But I haven't been able to pinpoint what's going on with Jack, so every penny I have I need to save until he's fixed.

"I can't." My voice is filled with regret. I'm meant to be alone anyway, anything else is just a dream I'm wasting time on. Friends don't stick around long anyway, so what's the point?

I'm fine on my own, I have been, and will continue to plow through life on my own.

"Ok, I understand." Blake says. His hands dropped from my arms and his posture returned to the rigid form it was before.

He misunderstood my words, it shouldn't bother me, what difference does it make if the outcome is the same. One way or the other, no one is getting my phone number because I don't have one to give out. But it does bother me, it tugs at my heartstrings a little, and I hate that I'm struggling so hard to let these guys just disappear from my life.

"It's not that I don't want to. It's that I can't." I stupidly clarify.

Stupid, stupid, stupid Rose! Why would you say that?

"What do you mean? Do you not know your number or something?" His full attention is on me as the two other boys continue to scramble around in the kitchen.

"No, I just.... I don't have a phone." My words came out mumbled, I was hoping he didn't hear me. But not only did Blake hear me, but the rest of the boys did as well.

"What! You don't have a phone!" Isaiah yells as he darts across the kitchen to stand in front of me. "Why the hell not?" His voice is thick with disbelief.

This is why I didn't want to tell them, now they all probably think I'm some weirdo.

Ace stocks over and delivers a smack to the back of Isaiah's head for the second time today. "Don't be rude." He scolds Isaiah and then takes another sip of his coffee like he didn't just almost knock his friends head clean off his shoulders.

"Why don't you have a phone?" Blake cuts in curious.

Oh you know, the usual 'my brother broke my old one and I have been barely scraping by since I left my hometown, so I can't afford a new one. Also I sleep in my car'. I wonder how mortified Isaiah's face would be if I said that?

"I lost my old one, and money is tight right now, so I haven't been able to get a new one." I say. I mentally pat myself on the back for coming up with something that wasn't a lie, and sounded somewhat normal.

"You don't have enough money to buy a phone?" Isaiah questions. He doesn't sound judgmental about it though, just curious and maybe a little concerned.

"I could... I just have something I'm saving for right now and I get by fine without a phone." I'm not really lying, I do ok without a phone and I am saving up to fix Jack right now.

I currently wouldn't have enough money to buy a fancy phone, but I could get a flip phone with a low cost plan with the money I have saved right now.

"But... then how am I supposed to keep in touch with you? And invite you to hang out with us, and what happens if you need help? How do you call someone to help if those guys start problems again, or if your car breaks down or, or if you break your leg or something?" Isaiah says horrified.

He turns to Blake and continues. "She could be dying and we wouldn't know!" My heart swells at his words.

It's like he actually cares about my well-being and that's so sweet.

Blake's jaw is clenched as he nods his head at Ace towards the other room, they both disappear leaving me with an over-dramatic Isaiah.

"I've survived fine so far, no need to worry about me." I state, but I don't think Isaiah heard me, he's too lost in his imagination with me getting hurt.

"What about a home phone? Do you have a phone at home that we could check up on you with?" He questions hopefully. A stabbing feeling tears through my heart at the word 'home'.

Home, something I'm not sure that I ever had, a house for sure. Up until recently anyway, but never a home.

I shake my head no. "Email?" He says almost begging. I shake my head no again.

"Oh my God. What-how do I... ugh. Wait, I could get a carrier pigeon!" His eyes brighten up at the idea. I can't help but smile at the fact that he jumped over regular mail and went straight to bird delivery.

"I see pigeons every time I go out, I'll catch one the next time I see it, and train it. How cool would that be? I'll have to get two though, that way you have one at all times in case of an emergency." He makes a thinking face as he strokes his imaginary goatee.

"That's a very impractical way of communication, Isaiah. Not to mention it would probably take you years to catch and train a bird to deliver a message. If it's even possible to do that with a wild bird." Ace mumbles as he walks back to us, Blake nowhere to be seen.

"Ok, party pooper. You got a better idea?" Isaiah snaps out. I think he might be upset that he won't get to have a pigeon as a pet with a purpose.

"If you gave me your number I could call when I use a payphone to call about jobs?" I offer, but I won't call. Eventually I'll be able to get my footing back and understand that it's better for me, in the long run, to be alone.

So I'll let them become a memory, and a nice one at that. I don't have many of those, so I'm extremely grateful for the time I've had with them.

"But what if I wanna call you?" He wines, "This sucks." His brows crease in sadness.

Blake strides back into the room and over to us. "Here." He holds out a smartphone with a cracked screen. "It's my old one. Has a cracked screen, but it still works." He pointed out.

For me? But he barely knows me, why would he give me his old phone? I look up at him confused, he gives me a reassuring smile and pushes the phone closer to me.

"No, I couldn't take that from you. That's really nice of you though. Thank you." Why are they all so nice?

"Seriously, take it. It's been sitting in a drawer ever since I got my new phone. And I just added it back to my phone plan so it's all ready to go." There is determination in his voice, I bite my lip to keep myself from bursting out crying. No one is supposed to care about me like this, it shouldn't be an issue for anyone if I live or die, so why the heck do they act like they care so much? Taking a deep breath to calm my emotions, I push the phone back towards Blake.

"I can't ask you to give me a phone, and pay for the service charges too." I emphasized. Why does it make my stomach twist painfully when I say no to him?

"You're not asking, I'm offering. Ace and I are bundled on our plan, a third line is practically free anyway, so don't worry about it." He grabs my arm and places the phone in my hand. Shoot, why can't I say no? He looks at me as if it's actually important to him that I take it.

"Take it or I'll pitch a fit." Isaiah blurts out. I let out a shaky laugh as I glanced at the three boys in front of me.

I'm not going to be able to let them go am I? Will it be ok this time, I can't even imagine them being as vile as Max was.

Should I try to make friends again, instead of trying to disappear?

"Wait, gimme. I need to text me from it so I have your number." Isaiah says as he snatches the phone from my hands. He types away as he dodges Blake's attempts to grab the phone from him.

I hear a ding from his phone, then he hands Blake's old phone back to me with a grin on his face.

"Ok, so let me show you how to block someone." Blake says as he gently grabs the phone out of my hand and starts tapping away at the screen. Isaiah peers over his shoulder with a frown on his face.

"Ok, so you just click on this. Then hit the block button and... perfect, now they can't contact you anymore." Blake gleams.

"Hey! That was my number you Asshole! Also why is your number and my moms the only numbers you saved in the contacts? Greedy jackass." He accuses as he glares at Blake.

Yeah, I think I have to give friendship another chance, because if I don't, I know I'll regret it for the rest of my life.

My body fills with happiness, a smile bursting across my face as I unblock Isaiah from 'my' phone.

Friends. I can do this, I can at least try, even though it's scary for me.

Sometimes you have to take a risk to gain something wonderful. And if I get these guys and Olivia as friends, I'll gain a wonderful thing, but if they end up anything like my previous friendship, at least I'ill have stepped out of my comfort zone and tried.

That counts for something right?