Five years ago.........

Prom night

This was yet to be the happiest day of my life. I had already planned everything to detail—my dress, shoes, accessories, make up but most importantly my date, Tristan Johnson. Everything was going according to plan. I was even counting down the days to prom.

Tristan had been my best friend from ever since I could remember, in preschool to be specific. The first time I saw him was just after a girl called Nancy and her friends were bullying me and shoved me on the ground. The next thing I knew, he was just there, standing up for me and telling them an earful about how mean they were being to me, and they should stop. He spoke so strong and confidently, I was remarkably impressed and At that moment I just knew. From that day onwards, we were inseparable. We did everything together, seen everywhere together.....you would swear we were twins.

Tristan was incredible, and I loved just how easy it was to talk to him because it was such a great listener. I know I was annoying and probably got on his nerves sometimes, but it seemed it didn't get to him, he would just laugh it off like its nothing and get back at me as soon as he could.

He was honestly a pain in the neck, drove me to the edge of insanity. He was goofy and annoying. But then, he made me laugh, like really, really hard. I, too, had my moments of cracking him up, especially when I was making a complete idiot of myself, and he found the humor in everything silly I did. When he laughed, like genuinely laugh, I swear the world stopped revolving. Like a sight you would wish to capture and replay whenever you need a reason to smile. He was amazing, funny and so incredibly goddamn handsome.

His body...my god his body. I was pretty sure God made him on a Sunday, taking time to sculpture this perfect body. Tristan hit the gym regularly and because he liked wearing those tight sweater like jerseys, so it was impossible to turn a blind eye to his masculine physique.

His smile, was enough to make my heart skip three beats at once. His small eyes would close shut when he threw his head back, laughing hysterically. His voice wasn't that deep, but it still carried that dominance in it. He had these dark blue eyes, that were inviting enough to get lost in.

I had been crushing on him for quite some time, years actually, but I really hadn't found the courage to tell him cause the moment his dark blue pools look into my eyes....my throat runs dry, and it feels like a flutter of butterflies exploded in the pit of my stomach. I just become a mess, going through a thunderstorm of emotions all at once and literally get dumbfounded.... and I'm basically afraid what his reaction will turn out like when I break the news to him.

I'm a coward

I felt a tap on my shoulder as I was packing away some books into my locker and I turned to meet his blue pools and killer smile, my knees instantly went weak

“Hey Liv”

“Hey Stan.”, He closed my locker for me, bringing his face closer to mine. My stomach did all sorts of somersaults every time he was that close to me. He smells so good.

“How bout I treat you for your favorite milkshake later on today?”, a smile played involuntarily on my lips

“I'd like that”

“Cool, I'll pick you up?”

“Sure”

He started to walk away, still facing me as he gave a mini salute.

“I'll see you later then”, he winked before he turned around and hastened his pace to his next class. Him winking at me made a blush crept onto my cheeks as I looked down at my feet to compose and regain my serious front again. He has his special way of making me smile without even trying. Tiny gestured he did, were enough to build up an earthquake from inside me, strong enough to shaken my tiny frame.

“I'm outside”, the minute his message popped up my notification bar on my phone. I didn't waste any time as within seconds I was already descending the stairs. Today was the day, I was going to come clean to Tristan and tell him how I felt about him, I'm shooting my shot.

If I die, I die

“I'll see you later Mom”, I blew a quick kiss at her as she appeared in sight from the kitchen

“Is that Tristan's car outside?”, she questioned, and I gave a quick nod with my hand already on the door knob. She gave a nod of approval before she rose her cup of tea to her lips for a sip.

“Have fun”, she literally motioned with her hand, telling me to be on my way. She hardly had no problem with me and Tristan hanging out. He made a good first impression on my parents from ever since we were still kids and because of us, our parents got close and got along well.

“Love you, bye”, I closed the door behind me and ran to his car, with him already holding out the door for me

The ride to the milkshake store was a lot shorter than usual, he was literally speeding down the road. He usually did that when he was nervous about something.

“Are you okay?”, I asked him as we found our seats after receiving our order. He gave a short nod. I had the chocolate mint double fudge flavored milkshake whilst he had the vanilla flavored. A little dull for my liking, but he was just that simple. He kept looking around, as if he was looking for something....or someone.

“So…”, he gave a nervous laugh before he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly. This was the perfect moment to declare my undying love for him.

“There's something I need to tell you...”, we both said simultaneously, and we locked eyes before laughing

“You go first”, I smiled. “Wassup?”

“Uh”, he gave another nervous chuckle as he ran his hand through his brown messy hair, this was something he did subconsciously, I could surely study him each time he did it.

“There's really no easy way to say this to you but—”, before he could continue, Mellisa appeared from behind him and leaned to kiss him fully on the lips.

“Hey babe”

What the fuck?

They both withdrew from the kiss, smiling at each other as she took the seat besides him and entwined their hands together

“So glad you could make it”, Tristan grinned at her, and they locked eyes for a second before she turned to face me

“Hey Liv”, she wore a warm smile on her face. “It's nice to see you”, I just gawked at her with my mouth hanging open, still recovering from the sudden shock.

I think I just swallowed my tounge

Tristan used his foot to kick mine underneath the table and my gaze diverted to him, he was surely giving me the say something look

“It's good to see you too, Mel”, I croaked out before I lowered my gaze to the milkshake in front of me, already fighting of the tears that were gathering in my eyes

Mellisa was one of the popular girls in our school. She was from a highly respected, loaded family. She was also beautiful ; Clear blue eyes, long blond hair and the perfect figure, striking personality and a gorgeous smile.

“Liv, I thought you should hear this from me before hearing it from other people”, Tristan cleared his throat before opening his mouth to rip my heart out of my rib cage

“Mel and I are a couple”

“Oh”, I stopped swirling the straw in my milkshake careful not to give off my disappointment. “That's great news”, I placed the straw between my lips and consumed the milkshake all in one go to ease the swelling pain in my chest.

“So how long has this been going on?”, I looked at the both of them simultaneously whilst forcing a smile on my face.

“Three weeks”, Mellisa chipped in before Tristan could say anything

Three weeks?

I fixed my eyes on him by this revelation. Why didn't he tell me? We share almost everything together and this was the first time he hid something this drastic from me.

A whole entire freaking girlfriend

“I'm happy for you guys”, I found myself saying without even thinking twice

A lie

“Thank you, Liv”, Tristan reached out for my hand. “It really means a lot coming from you”

It was the longest hour of my life, having to pretend that all was well with the two of them acting all lovey-dovey in front of me. It was honestly sickening. Forcing a laugh each time Tristan cracked a joke like he usually did hurt more than anything, it wasn't the same anymore. It wasn't because of me and to make me laugh, he was doing all that and being extra goofy to impress her and make her happy.

Seeing him happy was possibly the greatest things ever, and I didn't want to be the one to ruin it

“Are you sure you're okay?”, he asked as he walked me to my door after we dropped Mellisa at her house. “You've been awfully quiet on the way home”

“I'm fine”, I gave a weak smile. It was now the perfect time for him to get me out of my misery.

“So- “, I drew a deep breath, gaining his full attention. “What about prom?”

I saw how he twisted his lip to the side before he stopped in his tracks and turned me to face him

“I know we had everything planned, and we were going to go together at prom but now that I'm with Mellisa-”

That's when I felt my already broken heart drop to one of my kidneys

He gave a long, uncertain shrug. Tears had already filled my eyes before I gave a nod of understanding. Not that I did though, I was experiencing severe chest pains to make this a huge thing.

“Yeah sure”, I smiled faintly at him. Remember back there when I said If I die I die? Turns out I did die inside and now my coffin is being lowered to the ground.

“I'm sorry Liv”, he caressed my arms softly and that made me want to just cry as my eyes dropped to my feet. “I can ask Kevin to take you, he hasn't found a partner yet”

“No”, I quickly blurted out alarmed and his eyes widened. Kevin was his basketball teammate and his other friend. The guy was so weird, there was no way I was showing up with a guy like him at prom. “I'll be fine”

“Are you sure you're okay with this?”

No.

“With what?”

“Me and Mellisa, prom. Everything?”

Absolutely not.

“Yeah sure”, my voice was at the verge of breaking. “Are you sure?”

His lips turned up into a beautiful smile. Yep, he was definitely sure. I might as well walk to the door now before I get an answer from him and break into tears.

“I'm sure”, he fiddled with fingers nervously, almost blushing to himself. “She's makes me feel things Liv. I know we haven't been seeing each other that long, but I know that deep down, she may be the one for me”

I couldn't bear to look at him, and I was about to turn from him, but he interrupted me

“We never got to what you wanted to tell me”, he rose a brow as he motioned I speak up

“Oh”, I gave a nervous laugh. “It doesn't matter anymore”, I shrugged, and he gave me a long hard look before nodding his head and then pulled me for a hug.

“Thank you, Liv”, his grip tightened around me and a sob threatened to leave my lips as I was locked into his warm embrace. “I knew you out of all people would understand”

Is this the price I have to pay for being so madly in love with you?

I held back a sob. “That's what friends are for”.