I look around the banquet for Amy. I don't find her anywhere. Last I saw her was in Ethan's arms 2 hours ago. I walked out of there before I punched him. I had so much respect for Ethan before. But now seeing him treat Amy like she is some kind of doll he can play with, I realize he is just another rich asshole. I ask the bartender if he saw them. He tells me that it looked like they were fighting and Ethan went down to the beach. I walk towards the edge of the garden from where there is a clear view of the beach to see if Amy is with him but he is sitting alone drinking straight out of the bottle. Even though I don't want to believe it, I know Ethan loves Amy. He might think he is over her but the way he looks at her, clearly shows how much he still loves her. It would do everyone good if he pulled his head out of his ass and accepted his feeling for her.

Probably everyone except me. It's clear as day that Amy also loves Ethan. Yet I am in love with her. I tried to stop feeling for her. But I can't seem to think of anything else other than her for the past three weeks. A small part of me wants Ethan to f*** it up so I can get Amy.

I look around the banquet ones again but there is no trace of Amy. I spot Sandro sitting with Elsa. That's a relief. If he is here then he is not troubling Amy wherever she is. One of these days, I am going to break his fingers for laying his hand on Amy. Bastard does all the shady businesses to earn money.

I decided I should go check on Amy. She told Kate earlier today that she was feeling sick. So maybe she left early because she was not feeling well. I walk over to the mansion. It's quiet. Most of the guests are still in the banquet dancing. I climb up the stairs and walk towards Amy's room. I knock a few times but there is no answer. I peek inside to see if Amy was sleeping. The bed is still made and there is no sign of Amy. I turn around to leave but something in my gut tells me I should check the room before leaving.

There is no major security concern on the island. It's a private island that can be accessed only through ferries or helicopters making it pretty isolated and safe. I am only here to take care of emergencies. I walk in the room and look around. Nothing looks suspicious. The bathroom door is ajar so I knock and wait for someone to open. When I don't hear anything, I push it open and stop dead in my tracks.

There on the cream Italian marble floor lay Amy with blood everywhere around her. It takes me a couple of seconds to understand what was in front of me. I tell myself I am a soldier and I am trained for this. But looking at Amy like this was worse than anything I saw on the battlefield. Once I pull myself together, I rush towards Amy and check for the pulse. There is pulse but it's weak. She needs to be taken to the hospital if she has to be saved. First, I tear a piece of her dress and tie it on her wrist trying to stop the bleeding. Next, I call Doctor Fraser and Mr Lockhart. Both of them come immediately. when the doctor did the first aid, I called for a helicopter to take us to the mainland.

"What happened?", Mr Lockhart asks me.

" I don't know. I came to see if she is okay and I saw her on the floor like that"

My walkie talkie makes a noise and I hear the operator say "ETA 9 minutes".

"Her pulse is very weak. We have to rush immediately", Doctor Fraser says looking tense.

I gather Amy in my arms and we start running to the car that we can drive us to the helipad. Soon the helicopter lands and we fly out to the mainland.

I look out at the ocean and drink the last drop of whiskey from the bottle. It does nothing to make me feel better. I still can't get Amy out of my mind. I keep seeing her in the black dress that she was wearing earlier. I lay back on the sand and consider if I should go back to the room. From a distance, I hear the mechanical sound of the helicopter blades. I immediately sit up and see where the sound is coming from. The approaching helicopter confirms my fear. It must be Nan. I get up unsteadily and walk towards the mansion. My steps flatter a number of times and by the time I reach the banquet, I cannot hear the helicopter anymore because of the loud music and other noises.

The party is still on and everyone is dancing to the songs of a DJ. I don't think any of them heard the helicopter. I trudged over to the mansion and see Mr Lockhart pacing.

"What happened?"

"Oh, thank God you are here. I was just sending someone to get you", he says shaking.

" How is Nan"

"Mrs Harris is doing fine. It's not her. It's Ms Green"

"Amy? What happened to her?"

He looks a little green.

"Doctor Fraser said she cut her wrist. There was so much blood. It was everywhere. Mr Hamilton found her and they just took her to the mainland"

I stay roots to the spot and all I can hear is "cut her wrist" playing in a loop. Mr Lockhart shakes me after a minute. I ask him again what happened.

"Ms Amy lost a lot of blood. Doctor Fraser said she is in very serious condition"

Amy serious. I run up to our room taking two stairs at a time and there on the bathroom floor I see for myself what had happened. There is blood everywhere. I hold on to the door frames so I don't fall off.

My heart beats erratically and all I can think is "oh my God, nothing should happen to Amy". Mr Lockhart tells me he just heard from James and Amy is rushed into the emergency unit. I ask him to call for another helicopter and speed to the helipad.

20 minutes later I run towards the emergency unit like a mad man. James is pacing in the middle of the room.

" How is she?", I ask him gasping to breathe.

"You bastard. What did you do to her? If anything happens to Amy I will kill you myself", he says holding my collar. Up until that moment, all I thought was to get to Amy. I didn't think why Amy did such a thing. Hearing James blame me, I recall our last conversation. Did I do this to her? Did I push her too far that she thought it's better to die than living?

Doctor Fraser pushes James off me and tells him to calm down. He drags me to a seat nearby and tells me to wait for the on-call doctor. I sit there in a hazy. It feels like everything is moving fast around me but I am stuck there frozen. I soon realize I might lose Amy today and that feels like a hundred-pound boulder on my chest. If something did happen to Amy, how can I live with myself? How can I breath knowing she is not breathing somewhere with me? I need Amy even if she is not mine. I need her just to be alive somewhere. I will give her anything she wants if she is alive. She needs to live. I can't let her die. I won't.

I get up from my seat and start pacing. A few minutes later, a doctor in scrubs comes towards us.

" Are you with Amy. Amy Green?", she says looking down at the chart.

James and I rush forward.

"I am her friend", James says. At the same time, I said, "I am her husband"

"Ex-husband", James corrects me grinding his teeth.

'Is there anyone else who is a closure relative?"

"No, Amy has no one else", James says.

" Okay. Amy lost a lot of blood. We are trying our best. If organs start failing, it will be impossible to recover. But right now her organs are working. We nearly lost her twice and had to perform CPR. We have started blood transfusion and the next 24 hours are critical."

We both nod. I am not sure what to ask her.

"We have also done a rape kit on her and the cops will be here soon", she adds and for a second I thought she was talking about somebody else.

James is quick to recover.

'What do you mean?", he asks

"We found a lot of bruises in her inner thighs so did a rape kit. We found semen and pubic hair from her vagina. We think she might be raped."

"Again?", James asks looking crushed.

" What do you mean again?", I ask him. He ignores me and talks to the doctor.

"Three weeks ago, she was raped after her shift at the bar. She has been having nightmares and panic attacks since then."

"This attack is very recent. It has happened less than 24 hours ago.", the doctor says and leaves.

" I didn't know", I say not sure to whom I was saying it.

"If you can open your eyes and see, you would have known. All you saw was what you wanted to see. You know what I think. I think you saw a beautiful girl and wanted her. You told her all the romantic crap to get what you wanted from her. Once you got it, you kicked her out and never looked back. You didn't care if she was struggling to pay her bills or working herself to death to take care of her mother. You are no better than that asshole who dragged into the alley and raped her. And mark my words, I don't care that you are a millionaire and I know someone on the islAnd did this to her. I will find out who did this to Amy and I will f*****g beat him to his death.", James says and walks out of the emergency unit.

For the first time, I realize I let this happen to Amy. It's all my fault. If anything happens to her, it's on me. I am as guilty as a murderer. I remember the sweet girl I saw in New York nearly four years ago. She was bubbling with life. I recall the last time I saw Amy when I told her about her mother, the light in her eyes fading away. I did that to her. Like James said I took what I wanted and threw her away at the first chance I got. I remember all the harsh words I told to her. I remember how her eyes filled with tears when I said something to hurt her. God, I was such an asshole. I hate myself so much right now. I will never forgive myself for what I did to Amy. For as long as I live, I will remember every word James said. I truly deserve to rot in hell.