He was here with her...alone...well with his parents. I look down back at my menu. Liam looks up to face me. I could feel his eyes piercing through me, he had a strong look at me. I try to cover myself with my menu to stop his staring.

He grabs the menu from me and makes me face him, "I see them just like you see them, we all do actually. And you hiding like that is just sad. So how about you ignore them and well have a nice dinner," He tells me giving me a shy smile. "It's our last day together and I know damn well you don't want to waste it thinking about them...the weird-looking rat couple."

He was right. It was our last day and who knows how long it'll be until we'll see each other again. I don't want to waste it thinking about them but it's just hard. I thought me and him had something but I guess not.

I look up to the whole table, everyone is smiling and laughing. I don't want to be the only one down. And I want to make the rest of the night count and that's what I'll do. I nod at Liam and the hostess comes to pick up our menus from us.

We order our food then she leaves. We laugh and chat about random things and how we'll all miss this. Being together, I'll miss this a lot. We all live in different parts of the world so all of us together at once just makes me the happiest.

"That outfit isn't even bad, Jayson I gotta give you props for that," Natalie says to Jayson.

"Of course I know it is good, I picked it." He smiles back at her. Natalie rolls her eyes playfully at him. They've always had a sister-brother type of bond and I find it adorable. After an hour our food finally arrives.

As soon as it arrives we all dig in. I begin to eat my mashed potatoes then Jayson looks at me, "You better eat your vegetables," He says then goes back to eating. I roll my eyes at him then he looks up at me. Damn it's like he could feel me doing stuff like that. "Sorry..." I mumble back at him and eat some of my vegetables.

We finish eating our main meal then we finally were able to get desserts. As we waited for our desserts to come I began to eavesdrop on Zane and Olivia's conversation with his parents. I didn't want to eavesdrop but they were a bit loud. They were loud enough for us to hear.

"I'm so happy you were able to join us today Olivia. It's been a long time since I've seen you." Zane's father said. I wanted to turn around a bit so I could see their facial expressions but they would see me if I did so I stayed facing forward.

Olivia giggles a bit before answering, "it has, hasn't it? But I'm so glad to see you both!"

"Lovely to see you too..." His mother says unenthusiastically towards her. Her tone sounded so bored as if she didn't want to be there. "Can we order now?" She asked.

"Darling we've only just got here," Zane's father said. "Yes, but I know what I want to eat, and the faster this is done the better." She responded back with a bit of spite in her voice. "Agreed," I heard Zane's voice mumble.

Zane's father called over a waiter to get their orders in. The rest of their dinner was talkative between Zane and his father. Olivia butting into the conversation every once in a while. And Zane's mother didn't talk much. And if she did she just responded with a simple yes, no, or okay.

We on the other hand we were kinda loud. Making a lot of conversation and laughter. The desserts came in a couple of minutes later. I ordered a simple double chocolate brownie and ice cream on top.

"Remember when Liam fell off a bike and broke his arm because he couldn't hold his balance but then blamed it on the wind that it blew him off," Jayson laughed saying. We all laugh along with him. "It was the wind!" Liam said.

"Dude you literally had training wheels on that bike but still managed to fall off," I told him. A couple of years back I went to go visit him in the U.K and he didn't know how to ride a bike so I bought him training wheels but he still managed to fall off. We were all there to witness it.

He scuffed but then started laughing too. We stayed there for another hour until we finally decided it was time to leave. "Wait...uh they're still there and I for sure don't want to be seen by them," I said. Jayson took off his coat and placed it over my head covering my face.

"This is literally going to ruin my hair," I said peeking my head out to face him. "Either that or I'll make a big scene and I know you won't like it. So take it or leave it." He said giving me a small grin. I mumble a fine and we walk out. The vale brings out Liam's car then we all pile up into it again.

We drove back to the house. When we got there Jayson, Nick, Natalie, and Rose wanted to go back to their hotel but their stuff was already at my house so I made them stay there. We all got ready to go to sleep.

In a couple of hours, everyone was knocked out. Me on the other hand I wasn't. I had random thoughts running through my head that wouldn't let me go to sleep. I look up at the ceiling biting the inside of my lip thinking about this whole week. I sigh quietly then bring the covers off of me. I get out of my bed and head downstairs.

The lights were all off and I saw Nick and Liam sound asleep on the sofa. Nick was cuddled up next to Liam. I laugh quietly at this then head to the backdoor. I open it and go outside closing it softly behind me so It wouldn't make a noise.

The only lighting outside was the moon and the LED lights in the pool. I walk past the pool and go sit in the grass. I stare up at the full moon. It looked beautiful and calming. There was no noise out here just a bit chirps from crickets.

I bring my knees up to my chest and rest my head on them for a bit until I go back to looking at the moon. These past couple of days honestly drained me. I didn't think I'd get this drained from this weekend.

I think seeing Zane and Olivia, no I do KNOW seeing those two together added to me being this drained. Seeing both of them happy and smiling and even laughing with each other just made me want to break down.

I let out a big sigh and picked at the grass. After a few minutes, I heard footsteps coming towards me. I turned around to see Jayson coming my way. He comes over and sits by me.

"What are you doing up this late especially out here alone?" He asks not giving me any eye contact. I shrug my shoulders even though I know he won't notice. "I just can't sleep I guess,".

"And why can't you sleep? And don't make up some bullshit excuse that you ate too many sweets at the restaurant," He tells me looking up at the moon.

"I've...been having some thoughts I guess..." I look down.

"Mind explaining? You know sharing these types of things can help," He says simply.

"I don't know, um...since seeing Zane and Olivia together It just had me thinking..." My tone was low. My voice cracked a little.

"I...I just want to know what does Olivia has that I don't. That he went running back to her as soon as he saw her," I tell him. I take in a deep breath then exhale.

"She has nothing compared to you, she's as average as someone gets. She's an average bimbo girl who will grow up using daddy's money to get whatever she wants," He says in a serious tone.

"Yes, but he ran to her not me. Do you think it's because she can go into little space and I can't? We both know why I can't. I haven't been able to regress since him..." I say tears coming down.

Jayson pulls me close to him. He wraps his arms around me. "Every time I try to regress his image comes to mind and I just want to forget him but I can't! He's stuck in my mind and as much as I try to forget the more he pops up." I feel the warm tears falling down my face and Jayson's embrace gets tighter on me.

"He was right I won't ever be able to forget him. And because of him, I can't regress, I haven't been able to since he left me. And maybe that's why Zane left...that's why he ran to her as soon as he got the chance...because I can't go into little space" I cry while saying that.

Jayson lets me cry into his chest until he finally speaks up, "If he left...if he left you because of that maybe he's not the one for you...and he's stupid for even leaving in the first place".

"He's so dumb, and if he left you just because of that then he doesn't deserve you and he will never deserve you," Jayson says with a calm voice.

"And...he's gone. He isn't here anymore Carmen. It's safe now and I know I don't know how you feel about him and I may never understand but just know we're all here for you. We will always all be here for you," He rubs my back calming me down.

"I know...but it just hurts. It hurts really badly Jayson." I say my voice all cracky.

"It probably does. But Carmen you have to remember..." He gently makes me face him and make eye contact with him. His hand was cupping my cheek while tears ran down my face.

"You are perfect...and you have to show them that them being together doesn't bother you. You have to be strong like you've always been. And I'm not saying to not show weakness because showing weakness sometimes is good,"

"I'm just saying, don't let them get under your skin. Because if they do it shows Olivia has won the battle" He says caressing my face.

He's right I can't let her get under my skin. And I have to be strong because if not that means that they all won the battle but, me...