I almost felt guilty for how exuberantly happy I was when we stepped inside the doors of Cupid's Den. On the way there, I had suddenly remembered Nathan and that the problem hadn't been solved yet, but no matter how I tried, I couldn't quite let go of my own good mood. When I apologized for it to Ash, a little embarrassed, he just snorted and said that I was actually allowed to be selfish sometimes.

"And I like to see you happy," he smiled, squeezing my hand as we walked past the guard into the club.

You could clearly see which part of the club Florian had claimed. Ash groaned loudly when he saw the garlands and glitter strewn across the tables and muttered under his breath that he was going to strangle Florian after tonight, but I thought it just added to the atmosphere. Nathan was sitting with some people I didn't recognize at one of the tables, most likely his friends, and he looked up briefly and nodded at us. Ash nodded back.

It would be a long time before they were friends again, I thought. If they ever would be. But I didn't want their resentment towards each other to ruin my mood, so I looked around and spotted Chris sitting alone at another table. Holy shit, he'd actually braved coming here. Chris looked like a lost puppy, glancing around anxiously before spotting me and Ash and the relief was so obvious on his face that I almost felt sorry for him.

"Jack!" he exclaimed and stood up. "Damn, I thought you'd never get here."

We sat down at his table and he immediately looked calmer. Florian materialized almost magically at the table a minute later, wearing some sort of purple sequin jacket, and set down three umbrella drinks on the table.

"At this table, the booze is free all night," he smiled exuberantly and gave me an extra-long look. "You look absolutely adorable tonight, by the way, Jamie."

Then he made a subtle gesture to his neck and smiled even more, then disappeared off towards the bar. I automatically reached for my neck and suddenly remembered both the collar and the cat ears. And my skin was stinging at the spot where Ash had bitten me. Ash gave me a sly smirk as he watched me wince in pain. Chris squinted at me and took a deep sip of his drink.

"I guess you know it's still not Halloween?" he said vaguely. "Are you a closet goth or something, it looks like one of those necklaces?"

I instantly made up my mind. Why should I go around being ashamed of who I was? If Chris wanted to think I was a sick son of a bitch, then let him. I was tired of trying to explain it all away all the time. I quickly looked at Ash.

"It's not a necklace, it's a collar," I said calmly. "It symbolizes that I belong to Ash."

Chris looked confusedly at Ash, who met his gaze with a raised eyebrow and a smile.

"It means that I'm the one in control," he said, hooking his index finger into the ring on my collar. "Don't think you need any more explanation than that, do you?"

To my delight, I watched Chris turn red all the way up to his hairline, shake his head and take another big gulp of his drink. For once, he was the one in uncharted territory and not me. It was almost absurd how much I enjoyed that feeling. I was interrupted, however, when an all-too-familiar squeal was heard right behind me and I was swept up from my chair by my sister, who gave me a heartfelt hug.

"I didn't know my brother had such a kinky side," Zoey whispered giggling in my ear and then sat down next to Chris, who greeted her, seemingly relieved. "You'll have to settle for me, Daniel's working."

Zoey also got a drink after Florian came up and introduced himself and then we just sat and talked. Ash declared our table a Keith-free zone, when he thought speculation was starting to get too heated over what had happened. He felt that we would find out soon enough anyway, and he had no desire to sit and rehash what was already over. I could understand him, but since I had kept my thoughts at bay for so long, I couldn't stop them any longer.

I was convinced it was Brady. It couldn't be anyone else, no matter how much Ash insisted he was a rabid fundamentalist who didn't care about anything but doing what he thought was right. After all, he was a cop. A pretty high-ranking one, at that, from what I'd gathered from Ash's tirades. Was it so impossible that he had somehow taken advantage of his position? But Ash refused to talk about it and instead steered the subject to embarrassing stories about me as a child. To which Zoey was all too happy to contribute. And I let her, only because Ash seemed so happy to be off the subject.

It was almost like seeing him for the first time again. If I took away all those uncertain feelings and panicky actions I had the first time. Come to think of it, I barely recognized myself as I was then. If someone had told me back then that I would be sitting here in a gay bar with my boyfriend, wearing cat ears and a collar and not even be ashamed of it, I would have thought they were completely insane. The same with the fact that I would have someone temporarily living with me and like it.

That notion made me stop in my tracks. I liked it. Why the hell hadn't I asked if he wanted to live with me for real? I didn't have a clue, but the thought stuck with me right away. It felt so natural. So right, somehow. But he would never ask me, so I just had to pop the question myself. At the right time.

"Jack, I'd give you a thousand bucks if you wear that t-shirt to work," Chris grinned, seeming to have relaxed considerably after practically finishing his drink in four gulps.

I shook my head vehemently and Zoey laughed so hard she almost spilled out her drink.

"Why are you calling Jamie Jack?" Ash asked.

"Isn't that your name then?" said Chris to me in surprise. "Have I been calling you the wrong name for two years?"

I sighed. How many times had I tried to get him to not call me Jack? There was no way in hell he was going to learn correctly now.

"My name is James, go by Jamie or Jay," I said with a tired smile. "But you call me Jack if you want to. I've kind of gotten used to it by now."

Ash suddenly stood up and grinned, holding out a hand to me.

"Jack, dance with me," he said teasingly.

I narrowed my eyes at him but took his hand and he pulled me away to the packed dance floor. There he hugged me close, and I put my arms around his neck.

"You start calling me Jack and you can kiss that thanks tonight goodbye," I hissed in his ear.

"Not a chance, it's such a fucking turn-off," he smiled and started planting little nibbling kisses along my neckline as he continued. "But Jamie... or kitten... or pet... that suits you..."

I closed my eyes and gave myself over completely to the tingling, delicious feel of him. His soft lips, the pulse in his palms as he gripped my neck and kissed me. It didn't matter that the dance floor was full of people, I didn't feel them anymore. There was only the music and his touch, the closeness to him.

After an all too short time, the calm song was over and something much livelier started to play. I looked at Ash and we didn't even have to say anything to each other to know that neither of us wanted to be on the dance floor anymore. We walked towards our table again and I saw that Simon was now also sitting there. He had been erased from my mind for days, but now what Ash and I had been talking about was coming to the surface again. Ash wanted to keep things as they were. Maybe it was for the best after all? After all, he had more experience than me, maybe that was the way to do it? And I didn't want to scare Simon off.

The discussion was in full swing when we got to the table and I suspected it must have been Zoey who started it, probably by telling them about something stupid Daniel had done. She proclaimed that the best thing to do was to stay single, so you didn't run into any trouble.

"Or you have a girlfriend who's okay with you having fun elsewhere sometimes," Simon grinned triumphantly.

My brain stopped.

"You have a girlfriend?" came out of my mouth automatically before I could stop myself.

"But we don't really share all... interests," he smiled, looking at me meaningfully.

Suddenly I felt incredibly stupid. Even though Simon had said that this girlfriend was okay with him seeing other people, I felt like I had contributed to some kind of infidelity. The news perplexed me more than I'd thought, and Ash seemed to see it in me, picking his cigarette packet out of his jacket pocket.

"Keep me company while I have a smoke," he asked, resolutely taking my hand.

We walked out of the club and into the small alley next to it, which seemed to serve as some sort of unofficial smoking area. Ash leaned against the wall and lit a cigarette, one hand cupped against the wind. Then he looked at me and his sapphire eyes glittered.

"Aren't you glad we didn't say anything to him like you wanted us to?" he said calmly, slowly blowing smoke out of his mouth.

I nodded. I was deeply relieved. Obviously, he had some sort of agreement with his girlfriend and if we had started talking about feelings, even though neither Ash nor I were really clear on what those feelings were, he probably would have cut us off immediately. Now we could just carry on as Ash had said before, as usual.

"I should stop thinking so damn much," I smiled sheepishly.

"No, that's what I like about you," Ash said, pulling me into a hug. "But the best part is when you think out loud, so I can stop you when you twist things too far."

He stroked a hand down my back, tossed the cigarette on the ground, and kissed me softly.

"Have I told you I love you?" I murmured, letting my fingers slide through the hair on the back of his neck.

I could feel his smile against my lips, and he pressed me closer to him.

"You've mentioned it yes."

He made the kiss deeper, and his hands wandered down to my ass where they slid into the back pockets of my pants and I savored every second. Now was just the right time to ask him. Then I felt someone grab the neckline of my t-shirt roughly and I was brutally wrenched from Ash's arms and at the same time I heard Ash snarl in annoyance. Furious, I turned around and at the same moment dread seized me completely. Without even looking at me, Keith stepped forward and pushed Ash against the wall.

"Are you the one who got me banned from Cupid's, you fucking bastard?"