Ash's place wasn't that far from work, so we walked instead of taking the bus and as we headed down the road a strange, elated feeling filled me. I had taken one step into the unknown, dared to do something I had never done before. Going to someone else's place. When meeting people, whether it was a friend or a date, I had always made sure we meet up at my own place, just so I could control the environment. Making sure I was surrounded by safety. To enter someone's home, even just for a cup of coffee, was huge.

"Well, if we are to get to know each other, I can start by asking you some basics," I said, fueled by my new-found courage. "Start easy. How old are you and what are your hobbies?"

"Oh, we're doing twenty questions?" Ash enthusiastically. "I'm 28 years old, my zodiac sign is Capricorn and I like candle lit dinners and long walks on the beach."

"Uhm... ok?" I managed to say, before realizing that he was joking. "Hell, quit messing around."

He giggled but continued.

"Don't know if I have any real hobbies. I like Japanese comics and anime, got some stuff that I collect. And I like computer games of course, like any geek do."

He did? I couldn't curb my enthusiasm and fired away a stream of questions about what comics he liked most and what game he has playing. And just like that our conversation was flowing like a river. Ash had surprisingly much in common with my own interests and we even shared the same favorite Japanese comic. I had always thought I was alone in liking that as a grown man, but apparently not. He had studied media in high school but never attended university, a fact that he quickly breezed over. I chose not to ask why that was, and continued with other questions instead.

"Can I ask what you are? I mean, are you homosexual or bisexual?"

He shot me a crooked smile and shrugged.

"No idea," he answered. "I'm sexual, that's the only thing I'm sure about. And I don't care, really. You like what you like, I'm not that into labeling people, you know. Are you? I mean, would you like to be labeled as an introvert game nerd? You're more than that, right?"

We had arrived at his apartment building, and he pushed the elevator button. I was thinking about his question. I had never even thought about labels before, but it was true. If you put a label on someone you put them in a corner that they might never get out of.

"I'm more than a label," I said. "Smart thinking about the sexuality thing, by the way."

"I have my moments," Ash said, and we stepped into the elevator.

His apartment was a huge three-bedroom flat on the seventh floor, overlooking half of the inner city. This did not come cheap. How could he even afford this kind of place? My salary was good, but even I would struggle to be able to have a place like this. With him working in the kitchen, it would be damn near impossible.

"Who'd you have to kill to get this place?" I said impressed as I stepped into the hallway.

"My mom," Ash answered, a chilling tone in his voice. "Well, I didn't kill her, she left me the place in her will."

Oh. Something told me not to ask any further questions about that either, so I just let him show me around. The kitchen was large and looked newly renovated, but you could still tell that a somewhat messy guy lived here. Dishes were stacked all over the counters even though the dishwasher was empty. Ash walked down the hallway, pointing to where the bathroom was and then he just continued into a room that looked like a living room. But on the way there he failed to point to his bedroom. I couldn't miss it, though, because the door was wide open, and I peeked inside. 

The tapestry was dark and a huge bed with high bedframes was placed in the middle of the room. Above the bed was a large poster that I immediately recognized. It pictured two of the male characters from our mutual favorite comic, but the positioning of their bodies was not at all from the comic. That was straight from the erotic fantasies of the fans. I felt my cheeks flush. And when my gaze landed on the black ropes hanging on the bedframe my nervousness peaked even more. I didn't want to think about what he would do with those.

"You want coffee, or maybe whisky is better?" I heard him ask from the living room.

"Uhm, whisky I think," I croaked and quickly made my way out to him.

Ash placed two glasses on the table and poured us both a drink. I sat down in the couch and tried to look relaxed. The poster above the bed didn't leave me. Ash threw himself in the recliner and held up his glass to me.

"Cheers to us sitting here talking," he smiled.

I cheered back and gulped an extra-large sip of the strong liquid. I wasn't used to sitting in an unfamiliar environment that wasn't work related. All the new impressions made me overwhelmed and finally I ended up just gazing at the ceiling, so my brain wouldn't melt.

"Well, I guess it's my turn to ask the questions," Ash said and twirled his glass between his hands.

"Sure," I said. "But don't expect anything surprising."

"We'll see," he smirked. "You asked me about my age, so I'll ask you the same."

"I'm 24. Zodiac sign Aries, not that it matters."

His smile widened and I tried to understand why.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh, nothing, I just realized I have tasted my first boy-toy. I had no idea."

It took me a second to understand what he was saying. I was younger than him. My cheeks burned almost painfully. Jesus, why would he make such remarks?

"Sorry," he continued when he saw my violent reaction. "I was just surprised, that's all. Thought you were older. You seem older."

"Why?"

He looked at me intently.

"I think it's because you're so serious all the time. You seem to want to think things through before you do anything. Why is that?"

His question had me stunted. I had never once wondered why.

"I don't know. I like to know what's about to happen. It's like a security thing for me, to think about different scenarios. That way nothing comes as a surprise."

"I must have shaken you to your fucking core then," Ash grinned and poured us more whiskey.

I smiled and nodded.

"You could say that. I don't like surprises. It makes me uneasy, like I'm not in control."

"Is that why you're such a creature of habit? You go down to the cafeteria three times a day, at the same time every day, taking the same stuff every time."

How did he know that? He had just started working there a couple of days ago. Ash seemed to have picked up on what was bothering me and turned his palms up.

"Yeah, maybe I started working there three weeks ago and already noticed you back then. And maybe I requested to be put in the front of the cafeteria a couple of days ago. I can't help it, you intrigue me."

My eyes widened. Had he been spying on me? Followed my every move for three whole weeks? I should have been revolted by this, but I wasn't. I felt flattered. Somebody actually went to all that trouble just to see me.

"Stalker warning," I laughed and sipped my whisky.

"It's your own fault, you know," he defended himself. "If you weren't so fucking unaware of your own damn sexiness I might not have bothered. Why don't you think you're sexy?"

"Because I can't see it. I'm not doing anything to come off as sexy."

"Sexy isn't something you do, it's something you are."

Ash got up from the recliner.

"Do you want me to tell you what I think is sexy about you?" he said and stood in front of me.

My heart jumped at his gaze and the words slipped in my mouth.

"Yeah, well, like, if you want to..."

For no apparent reason he sat down next to me on the couch. He twirled his glass again, took a sip and then he looked out over the room.

"Your eyes. I've already said it but let me say it again. Your eyes are amazing. Especially when you think no-one's noticing and you sit there watching people. Your body language when you daydream while your co-worker sits there jabbering on about something you're not interested in. Your dimples when you smile. You really should smile more often. The way you try to hide your tattoos, like they are some kind of big secret."

I flinched in the middle of the flood of compliments, at the mention of my tattoos.

"How the hell do you know I have tattoos? I've never shown them to anybody at work."

"I saw a glimpse of the one on your right arm one time when you stretched to get food. And the one on your back when you bent down to pick up a fork you dropped. It was just glimpses, but I could tell they're not small stuff. I do have some experience in the matter, you know."

He held up his arms, where the black patterns winded together in intricate patterns. Then he emptied his glass and nodded for me to do the same. Without thinking, I obeyed.

"I wanna know more about your need for control," he said in a calm voice, but something else was simmering right below the surface. "Come sit here."

He pointed at his lap. I tensed up and looked at him. What was he after? Why did he want me to sit in his lap?

"Why?" I murmured and felt myself squirm a bit.

"Because I want your undivided attention. I told you I don't bite. Come on."

He patted his lap again. I was already in his flat, so why not do another first? I might as well try it, see how it felt. And just the notion of what I was about to do made my body tingle. Carefully I stood up and sat down sin his lap sideways, resting my legs on the couch. But he just laughed and shook his head.

"I'm not your damn grandmother, Jamie. Sit down facing me."

"How do you mean?"

"Fucking straddle me, stupid."