The Queen selection passes by quickly. I contemplate killing the rest of the candidates to speed it up.

Dion talks me out of it, telling me they'd just start over and my mission would be over before it truly begins.

I oblige, but keep my knife on my person.

I'd been at the temple for 5 months. It took a month before Slade showed himself to me. And then...then I think I actually fell for him.

Thinking about the fact he's not here now clenched at my heart like a fist, trying to rip it out. I try to hug myself, but it's just not the same.

I try to keep his fur on, keep him close, but now it smells like me instead of him, and that hurts more. I clench my jaw and try to power through it.

He's not gone, I keep reminding myself.

You're going to bring him back, I keep chanting. It somehow doesn't feel possible. A Herculean task I'm not capable of.

I claim the title goddess but I'm just human. I sigh, looking up at the ceiling.

I wonder where he is? In limbo? In...heaven? Maybe he's right in front of me. I shiver, with a sigh, burying myself into the covers.

Sleep is scarce. I can't seem to get comfortable. The bed is soft. His chest is hard and I got used to sleeping on it. Cool. Silent. Not a heartbeat to be found.

Now my own is loud in my ears driving me crazy. I can't calm my thoughts. My choices seem all wrong and their alternatives worse.

What would I do? Am I wrong? Is why I'm trying to accomplish evil? If it is, does it matter?

I find myself wishing I'd never met him. It would've been simpler. If I had died in that temple wouldn't have to make these choices.

Brave these ills. Face myself. This pain, this gut-wrenching agony wouldn't belong to me. This pressure on my shoulders this lump in my throat.

Why can't the world just be kind to me?

Something smacks against the glass. I jump, getting up. I peer at the window seeing nothing but darkness for a moment.

And then I see it. Red eyes. Peering into me.

"Slade?" I whisper.

And then it's gone. I open my window, looking out, nearing breaking my neck to swivel my head looking around

.

"Slade!"

I look down feeling my wrist getting hot. The roses glow softly.

I smile. He's here. He...he had to be here because I'm on the right track. It's a sign he's trying to tell me to vanquish my doubts!

That's what I needed. I smile. Clarity. I am right. Destroying this world is my destiny. It's what I have to do. I must do it, by any means necessary.

I keep the window open as I fall asleep.

Just in case.

• • •

I head down to the Queen selection. It's the last day. The day the King inspects us. I dress in black, a red veil covering the lower half face.

Today is the day. The true journey begins. The mystery will draw him in. He's used to getting his way. The way I should play this to start is disinterested but sweet.

Maybe even a little dumb.

I head down, Dion following after me. "So wait do you plan to fuck this king cuz that seems counterproductive."

I narrow my eyes. "I will do what's necessary."

Dion winces. "I'm going to pretend I don't know about this when he comes back. He's very...well, you know?"

I frown. I don't. "Hush, Dion."

I take my place in the line of girls. There are recommendations by the teachers and scholars who interview us, but the king makes his decision.

He's a handsome man, it's just that compared with Slade everyone is average. His blonde hair and blue eyes are less striking to me, as stops in front of me, peering at me haughtily.

He's going to make this easy. I can tell.

"Why do you have a veil on?"

I cast my glance downward. "I'm not feeling well. I didn't want to make his majesty unwell."

"I think I'll live. Remove the veil."

I do so, keeping my eyes to the ground. "Raise your eyes?"

I look at him, keeping my gaze even. He's already talked to me longer than any girl here.

Catch his attention? Check.

"Where are you from? And what is your name?"

"I am Rose, from Florence."

He raised a brow. "Florence? I didn't think we selected a candidate from there."

I say nothing because he's correct any attempt to excuse will just draw attention to it.

"I see. Rose. It's a shame to keep such a pretty face covered up," he smiles, lifting my chin.

His dirty fingers. My stomach turns. I look away.

I force a smile on my face. I'm definitely going to kill him.