My alarm woke me up the next morning, and with blurry eyes, I turned it off. I'd barely slept the whole night, and those times I did fall asleep, it was only for a moment. The last time I looked at the clock was an hour ago, and it felt like I'd only closed my eyes for a second before the alarm blared.

I knew part of the reason I'd slept poorly was because of nerves. Even when I'd already gone to NYU for two years and knew where everything was located, the first day of school was always nerve-racking. Another part was the emptiness beside me in bed. It was too cold beneath the covers and too quiet. I didn't have the heartbeat of another, or the sound of steady breathing, lulling me to sleep.

Yawning, I hauled my ass to the bathroom and jumped in the shower. God, I wished for one of those waterproof speakers so I could listen to music; it would've made the shower experience less tedious.

It took several minutes before I froze–not because the water grew icy cold, but because it didn't. It still held the perfect temperature I'd set before I got in under the stream.

Fuck me. Either this was a total coincidence, or it had gotten fixed. In my two years in this apartment, I'd never once showered without the water turning cold for split seconds at least a couple of times, so I was betting on the latter. Knowing my landlord would never use the money on his tenants when he could spend it on himself, I only knew one person, or three, out there who would. Of course, I'd showered a couple of times in my apartment after that time Callan stayed over, but it had only been quick ones before I'd hurried off to work.

Why I did what I did next, I had no idea. Call it intuition. I hurried out of the shower and wrapped myself in a towel before I went to the living room. Looking first at my ever-present bucket, which was still there, my eyes went to the ceiling–my perfectly none hole ceiling.

Holy shit.

I'd gotten too used to the bucket to not notice it wasn't being filled with more water. I usually only poured it out when it became so much water that it almost ran over, which I now realized hadn't happened in a long while.

It could've been either of the guys. Still, my money was on Callan, seeing as he was the one who knew about the temperature fluctuation in the shower.

How had he even managed to open my apartment door without me here? Stupid question, seeing as they knew who my landlord was and had probably gotten access to my apartment through him. I had a feeling my asshat of a landlord was scared of the guys after Mateo's visit, though I still didn't know what exactly had happened between them.

Grabbing my phone, I tried calling Callan but only got to his voicemail, and I remembered he mentioned he would be busy today with meetings. I would have to talk to him later about what he'd done to my apartment, though mainly, I just wanted to thank him. Accepting help didn't take away my independence, and I was starting to learn that.

Throughout my life, I'd been too proud for my own good. I'd seen people offering help as a dig to me like I couldn't do it myself. It took me twenty-two years to realize people could take care of me because they cared for me, and it didn't make me less than to accept what they were offering.

I still had twenty-five minutes until I had to leave for the bus, but I was too nervous to eat. If I felt like it, I could grab a sandwich or something at Peet's.

Seeing the warm weather outside, I chose a pair of shorts and a tank top, along with my favorite pair of sneakers. It was a chill look, but I didn't have anyone I wanted to dress up for. Not that women needed someone to dress up for, but...yeah.

For the millionth time, I checked my bag to make sure I had everything I might need for school. Some professors let us leave after the initial introduction to their class, but others started teaching right off the bat.

Unable to sit still and wait for time to pass, I decided to get to the coffee shop earlier. It might do me good to get some fresh air while I was at it.

Plugging in my headset, I found my favorite playlist on my phone and pressed play. There was nothing better than music to ease my nerves.

Malika was already at the Peet's when I got there, and I was only slightly surprised. She liked being early–or more correctly, she hated being late.

"Emma, hi," she squealed when she saw me. Before I knew it, I was in her arms as she gave me a quick hug. Only then did I realize I'd missed her. I needed to get my head out of my ass and start making an effort with my friends. Because of me, we never hung out after classes were over, and it was something I needed to fix. I knew they were done asking me to hang; they'd tried far too many times already.

"Hi," I smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear. "How are you?"

"So excited for school to start. What about you?" Malika was one of the most intelligent people I knew and probably one of the most beautiful people I'd ever met. Her sense of style couldn't be outmatched either. Compared to her, I looked like a girl playing dress-up. Right now, she was wearing a stunning white suit that contrasted perfectly with her gorgeous mahogany skin color.

Being friends with her was challenging in the beginning. With her beauty, attention followed, both at her and the ones around her. I didn't do well with spotlights, but I was getting better at handling it.

"Nervous for school to start."

She chuckled. "There's nothing to be nervous about. You know that. Come on, let's get us some coffee, and you can tell me all about your summer."

I bought a simple black coffee and decided at the last second to grab a frittata as well. The last thing I wanted was for my stomach to growl in class.

Since it was early still, there were several tables available.

"So, tell me, what have you been up to lately?" she asked when we sat down.

Forcing myself not to blush, I looked down at the food and picked at it, bringing a small piece to my mouth. "The usual. Work," I answered, but I already knew I was an awful liar, which Malika proved by calling me out on it.

"Bullshit."

My eyes widened, and I looked back up at her. "What?"

"I saw you getting picked up from work the other day, and he was hot. Who was he?"

Which one? "What were you doing in Queens?" Yeah, because deflecting definitely worked on a seriously smart person who was studying to become a lawyer, dumbass.

She shrugged, "I had some errands to run in the neighborhood. So, spit it out. Who was that hunk of a man, and does he have any brothers?" Malika wiggled her eyebrows suggestively, making me laugh.

"Eh...what did he look like? It might've been Kevin. I don't know if you've met before?" I tried to be clever, trying to find out who she'd seen me with. It could've been either of my men. All of them had picked me up at work on one occasion or another.

"Kevin is that friend you work with, right?"

I nodded.

"Then that was definitely not him unless you kiss all of your friends?" She quirked a brow.

"No, that I do not." I inwardly sighed, deciding to just come out with it. I realized I didn't want to hide the fact that I was with more than one man. If she couldn't be supportive of that, then I knew what kind of friend she was. And the truth was if I did want to make an effort with her, I needed to open myself up more.

"It might have been Callan," I finally said.

"Might have been?" She echoed.

"Or Mateo." My cheeks felt warm as I continued picking at my food. "Or Gideon."

"What now?" Malika gasped.

"I'm kind of seeing them all." I met her shocked stare.

"What do you mean, seeing all of them? Are you like in an open relationship with one of them or what?" I could tell that she was trying to understand, all the while completely stunned, but I couldn't see any judgment in her eyes or voice.

And, for a second time, I told another of my friends about my arrangement with the guys. I found that the more I talked about it, with Kevin and now with Malika, the calmer I became. Turned out, opening myself up made me more accepting of myself.

BDSM was taboo, but the only way to make it less so was by speaking about it. Those outside of this lifestyle knew next to nothing about what it actually was and what it entailed, which was also why some frowned upon it. They never had anyone tell them what it was really like, so they made a judgment based on the little they knew.

Malika asked questions. She was curious but never mean or thought less of me because I was a submissive. It actually felt pretty good, talking to another woman about it. Kevin was fantastic, no doubt about it, but he wasn't a woman.

We talked for so long that I damn near jumped out of my seat when I saw what time it was. I'd completely forgotten for a second that my classes started today, and soon too.

For once, I asked Malika if we could hang out sometime, and the smile she gave me made me guilty for all the times she'd asked me.

Hurrying to school, we said a quick goodbye, and I moved to the building where my first class would be held.

Holy crap, I was nervous, even more than I had been earlier. First-day jitters were the worst.