My eyes open to the sound of the car horn blaring. It takes a moment for me to realize what happened. My mind flashes back to my last memory before passing out. A huge truck was swerving into our lane, almost ready to hit us head-on. I screamed at Tiff and she tried to get out of the way, but the truck was barreling at us and we couldn’t get out of the way completely.

The impact was mostly on the front driver’s side, but it was enough to run us off the road and go rolling down into the ditch. I don’t remember how many times we flipped, I hit my head hard and blacked out before we stopped at the bottom of the ditch.

My eyesight is blurry, but I can see that we’re at least not upside down, just tilted to the side a little bit. As the blaring at the horn and the ringing in my ears dies down I can hear the screeching cry of Annabelle in the backseat. My first thought was thank god she’s crying, it means she isn’t dead. Morbid, perhaps, but it was one fear crossed off my list.

I look over at Tiff and she’s hunched over the steering wheel with blood dripping from her head. I can hear her moans, so once again thank god she’s not dead. I unbuckle myself and lean over to her. “Tiff, Tiff can you open your eyes for me?”

Tiff’s eyes shoot open and she tries to sit up abruptly, but I hold her down for safety. “Don’t do too quickly, you don’t know what might be broken or injured.”

“Annabelle...oh god Annabelle!” Tiff begins to shout and tries to move again, but I continue to hold her down.

“Hey, I need you to look at me. Are you okay, Tiff?”

Tiff reaches up and touches her forehead, “Fuck my head and rubs hurt.” She tries to unbuckle her seatbelt, only to find out that it is jammed. She keeps yanking at it, but it isn’t giving at all. “Fuck, I’m stuck. Oh god. Annabelle, it’s going to be okay baby. Auntie Tiff is here!”

“Auntieeeee!!!” Her painful cries from the back seat break my heart.

“I got her.” I start to move into the backseat when Tiff’s hand grabs my wrist.

“Oh, Holly! Press the emergency button!” Tiff points to the dash where one of those assist buttons are. I press it before grabbing my purse and crawling into the back seat.

Annabelle is still strapped into her car seat, facing backward still, but she’s in a lot of pain. She’s strapped in tightly and I don’t see any scratches on her head or face, but I can tell that her leg is bent the wrong way and that is probably the source of her pain.

“Hey sweetie, I know it hurts and it is scary, but I’m here, okay?” 

“Holly, I’m cold” She says to me through her sobs.

“I know sweetie, me too.” I grab my scarf and use it to wrap around her leg. I’m not sure I’m doing much good, but I’m hoping it’ll secure her leg in place and not move as much. I go back and forth between getting her out of her seat or not, but she’s so scared and I just need to wrap her in my arms.

“Hello, Roadside Assistance,” a voice comes through the car speakers.

“Hello! Can you hear us?” Tiff yells back at the operator.

“Yes ma’am. What can we help you with?”

“We were in an accident on the 46, about, oh god where do you think we were, Holly?” She glances into the rearview mirror at me. I try to think of the last signs that I saw, but nothing is coming to mind.

“Ma’am, I can see your coordinates on my screen. You said you were in an accident? Are there any injuries?”

“Yes, lots. We also have a three-year-old in the car.”

At this time I start to move Annabelle out of her car seat and carefully place her in my lap. I am pretty confident that she doesn’t have any neck injuries. The temperature in the vehicle is dropping steadily and I only have one coat to cover us both. Once I have her positioned securely in my lap, I drape my coat over us like a blanket. Our combined body heat should help keep up warm under the coat.

Tiff has been talking to the operator, she’s doing her best to get information to call for safety. “My co-worker is sending your information to emergency services right now. Can you tell me what happened?”

“There was a truck.”

“It was red,” I add the additional detail in case it is needed.

“A red truck was in my lane. I tried to get out, but they still hit us.” Tiff chokes up recounting the incident.

“Did any of you lose consciousness?” the operator asks.

“I know I did, Holly, what about you?”

“Yeah, I know we both did. I don’t know about Annabelle. She was crying when I came to.”

“Are you able to call my husband? We don’t have service out here and I don’t see my phone anywhere.”

“Yes ma’am. Is your husband Jimmy Brown?”

“Yes, that is him.”

“Okay once we get off the phone with the emergency services we will give him a call. I know this is scary, but I just need you both to stay calm and help keep our little friend calm as well.”

I’m trying my best to calm Annabelle down, but her painful sobs continue. Her small body is tucked against my chest and I can feel her tears soaking my shirt. “Hey princess, this is going to be okay. They already called the firefighters for us.”

“I hurt, Holly. I want my daddy.”

“I know princess, I want him too,” I honestly answer her.

The operator from the roadside service company does a great job of keeping us up to date, but it feels like we are stuck in that car in the ditch forever. I tried to wrap Tiff up in her coat too, but it was hard to do with just one arm free and Annabelle on my lap. I keep asking Annabelle questions to make sure she doesn’t fall asleep in case she has a head injury. Tiff keeps talking to the operator, so I know that she’s still conscious up there.

Finally, we hear the sirens approaching, but they still don’t come fast enough. Due to the angle of the ditch, they can’t just walk down to us, the firefighters have to use rope and climb down in a safer way. It feels like a lifetime from when we get verbal confirmation that they can see is to when they finally make it down. We both insisted that they take Annabelle first. She was crying and clinging to my body, not wanting to let me go, it was one of the most painful things I’ve dealt with in a very long time, but I knew that it was better for her to go right away and get in a warm vehicle.

Next, they focused on Tiff. With concerns of a neck injury, they had to put a brace around her neck. Then, they had to use to jaws of life to open up the door to get her out. Her jammed seatbelt was cut with an industrial size pair of scissors. Carefully they loaded her onto a backboard and pulled her out of the vehicle. Once she was on her way up to the hill, they worked on getting me out of the car.

I also had to put on a neck brace for safety reasons, but they felt comfortable in allowing me to walk without having to go on a backboard. A harness was strapped around my body and I was hooked to a tether like we were going rock climbing. One step at a time, the firefighters walked side by side with me as we walked up the steep hill.

When we get to the top of the hill, I see Tiff being loaded into an ambulance and it pulls off. I don’t even get a chance to see her or check up on her again. The paramedics take over, helping me climb up into the ambulance where Annabelle was buckled into the stretcher. I sat next to her and held her hand as they took a look at me to assess my injuries.

“It is going to be okay, princess. You are so brave,” I continue to soothe her, even though I can no longer hold her in my arms.

“We’re going to give her a small dosage of pain meds to help her not only calm down but not be in so much.” The second paramedic explains to me. “We’ll be taking her to the children’s hospital in Fargo before we take you to General.

I know that it is going to be at least four hours before anybody from the family will be able to make it to Fargo and that is much too long for her to go without having somebody close, so I lie. I shouldn’t say it, but the words roll off my tongue before I get a chance to fully think it through.

“I’m not leaving my daughter. I’m staying with her.”