It turns out skipping school for three days wasn't hard when no one cared about you.

Besides Zane, who texted me once every day to make sure I hadn't taken the dark dive of no return.

Zane had tried to convince me to go back to school. I couldn't tell him why I just simply wouldn't. Or couldn't. I was scared.

I was scared of Jax. I was scared of his eyes, that had clearly been watching me in a way I had never imagined. Not only had he robbed me of the peace in my own body but now he had robbed me of the peace in my mind.

My mind had been actively trying to persuade me that everything was okay but Jax was actively trying to persuade me that everything was not okay.

Which was probably the reason I had burned through all of the weed I had already bought.

Literally.

"Here." Austin passed me the joint, nodding at me as I took it. We were in the empty parking lot again, after I had called him to buy more.

"Lorazepam not working anymore?" He asked as I inhaled the smoke.

I sighed as I exhaled, shaking my head.

"Oh. I get it. Who cut you off? Doctor?" Austin continued. "Parents? Boyfriend?"

I rolled my eyes, shaking my head again. "I don't date."

Austin laughed, taking the joint from my hands. "Nah. I knew that."

"So why did you ask?" I asked him, giggling.

"Just wanted to see your reaction. You know my friends used to think you were into girls." Austin told me. "Since you never have a boyfriend."

"You have friends?" I asked him, ignoring the rest. For some reason I couldn't picture Austin as anything other than what I had known him as, singular and curious.

"I do, Seren. You should try it sometime." He said as he passed the joint back. I would have thought he was teasing, but his tone made it known he was serious. "Why don't you?"

"Why don't I have friends?" I asked him incredulously. Even for Austin, that was blunt.

Austin laughed, shaking his head. "Date. Why don't you date?"

"You weren't joking about being a therapist." I said blankly.

"You're lucky I don't charge you by the hour." Austin tossed the end of the joint out the window, pulling a pack of cigarettes out and offering one to me. I took one, leaning in and allowing him to light it for me.

"Come on. I'm dying to know." Austin continued, once he had lit his own cigarette.

I sighed again, glancing over at him. There was something about Austin that didn't make me feel like lying. Maybe because he seemed as fucked up as I was. Maybe because I was always high when I was around him.

"I used to. Back in middle school." I started, watching the smoke of our combined cigarettes dance around the car, kissing the windshield and leaving the same residue that I'm sure coated our lungs. "I realized sooner than later that guys didn't actually like me. They liked the way I look. They liked the way I made them look. They liked me on their arm."

I glanced at Austin, and he wasn't watching me with pity, so I continued. "They all found out pretty soon that being beautiful is my only personality trait."

Austin nodded, flicking the butt of his cigarette through the crack in the window. "Maybe you should work on that then."

"Work on what?" I had forgotten what we were talking about.

Austin laughed at me. "Getting a personality."

"Sounds like a lot of work." I titled my head, before rubbing my nose and blinking rapidly. "You have any food?"

"Does it look like I have food?" Austin replied, gesturing around the empty car.

"Some stoner you are." What kind of stoner doesn't have snacks?

"What made your friends change their minds?" My curiosity took the better of me.

"You hooked up with one of them. Last year." Austin said casually.

Ah. Well that will do it.

"What are you doing tonight?" Austin asked me.

"This was the extent of my plans." I muttered. I hadn't thought past this, anyways. Olivia and Trinity had been blowing up my phone all night, talking about some party the football team was throwing. Which meant Jax would be there, so I wouldn't be.

"How the mighty have fallen." Austin laughed out. I wanted to stick my tongue out at him, but he was right. Oh, how I have fallen.

"I'm going to a party tonight, right about now actually. You wanna come?" He continued.

"What, at Brett's?" I asked.

"Nah. Some kid from another school, should be okay." Austin explained, his eyes pointing to my cigarette. I glanced at it, remembering it. I had forgotten I was holding it. I quickly flicked it out the window.

"Sure." I said. I could get my hands on some vodka.

"You want to change, or get ready?" Austin asked as he glanced towards my body. I was wearing only a pair of bikers shorts and a black crop top.

"No." I didn't really care.

Austin looked at me like I was crazy. "Alright then. Let's get going."

I didn't pay attention to where we were going, as Austin drove down the dark streets. I was too interested in the way that he was driving. His seat was leaned so far back from the steering wheel, I was surprised his feet could reach the pedals. He had one elbow propped up on the centre console, the other stretched out and gripping the underside of the steering wheel. He reminded me of Zane in the way he seemed so carefree.

"Stop staring at me." Austin said suddenly, causing me to jump.

"Sorry." I said robotically, turning my head to look out the window instead.

As we approached a mediocre house, with the driveway full of cars, he pulled over haphazardly, throwing the car into park. "Let's go then."

Austin didn't wait for me as he strode towards the house. He glanced back occasionally, to make sure I was still following him. He nodded and bumped fists with the stragglers outside the house, all who looked too drunk for their own good. I wasn't nervous the way I had been when going into Cassidy's party. I was sober Seren then.

High Seren didn't care. She didn't care at all.

"Come on." Austin said as he held open the door. He looked down at me hesitantly as I got closer to him. "Stay close to me, alright?"

I felt a sense of sentimentality as I entered the house. The loud music, the bodies all close together, the smell of alcohol and weed. I remembered this. I used to love this. Used to. Maybe I still do.

Austin pulled me by the elbow, dragging me into an open kitchen. It was small, and crowded with people. There were bottles of alcohol placed all over the counter, every kind you could imagine.

"Let me guess..." Austin said as he picked through them. "Whisky? No. Vodka?"

"Vodka." I confirmed. I was about to reach out and grab the bottle of said vodka in front of me, when Austin swatted my hand away.

"That one is open." He said as he tested each of the caps.

"So?" I asked.

"So? So? Are you serious?" Austin shot me a dirty look, which I responded to with a giggle. His face was funny when he looked at me like that.

"This one." He said as one of the caps resisted. He leaned his ear towards it, smiling when he heard the seal break. "You should know better than to drink out of an open bottle."

Yeah. I probably should.

"Here." He passed me a shot, which I eagerly downed before handing the plastic cup back to him.

"More?"

"Please." More, a lot more.

Soon I was back to the Seren I used to know. I used to know her and I used to love her. Drunk, careless, fun. Feeling.

I was sitting on the counter, rolling my body to the loud music that was coursing through the air and through my veins. Austin was beside me, close enough that his elbow was touching mine.

"Seren?" Said a voice I knew. Well, at least I think I did.