As soon as I heard the back door open, I slid my glasses back onto my face.

"Here." Zane said as he approached me, holding his hand out and gently placing the bikini I was wearing last night in my hands. I had asked him to grab it from the floor of my room where I left it. I nodded in response, grabbing the bottle of vodka and heading over to the metal fire pit that was inlaid into the stone courtyard.

"What are you doing?" Zane asked me from where I had left him.

I didn't answer him. Instead, I tossed the bikini into the fire pit. I unscrewed the lid of the vodka, taking a quick drink before I poured it on the white material. Before Zane could protest any further, I flicked my lighter and held the flame to the now alcohol soaked bathing suit, praying it would be enough to light it.

Thankfully, it caught on fire quickly, and I yanked my hand away as fast as I could, not wanting my skin to burn in the process.

I felt a brief sense of satisfaction as I watched it burn. It had once been my favourite, my go to swim wear. I can't count the number of times that it's been in this very hot tub standing only 10 feet away from us. Now, however, it was only proof of what happened last night.

It was the weak, last defence between myself and Jax. It was the only thing that was contaminated. Well, besides me.

And now, I was watching as the blue flames devoured it, turning it char black as the plastic material melted and burned.

"Why did you do that?" Zane asked me, his voice calm and calculated. He had walked over to join me, not that I had noticed until I heard him speak.

I didn't look way from the flames to answer him. "I didn't want it anymore."

"I can see that. I'm wondering why your first instinct was to set it on fire." He mused, a mix of concern and humour barely peaking through his voice.

I simply hummed in response, taking a seat on the small bench that was beside the fire pit. My concentration remained on the now diminishing flames. How easy it had been to erase the suit from existence. If only I could do the same to my memory.

I felt Zane lower his body to the bench, so he was sitting beside me. He was close enough now that I began to feel uncomfortable, so I slid away. Just a few inches. He wouldn't notice.

I began flicking the lighter in my hand again, holding the flame for a couple seconds at a time before letting go. Such a powerful thing, fire. It only takes a second before it latches on to whatever it can find. Once it gets started, there's not much you can do to stop it. My hand acted of it's own will, bringing a small curl of my hair towards the flame. Teasingly, I brought it closer and closer, imagining the reaction between the flame and the strands of hair if the two ever met.

It was like a spasm, a muscle jerk, like when you're dreaming of falling and you wake up before you hit the ground, the way my brain told my hand to bring my hair into the flame completely. I watched with distant intrigue as the strands briefly held on to the flame in place before growing larger and quickly climbing upwards. I just stared at it, noticing the smell of burnt hair infiltrate my nose.

A gust of breath from Zane's mouth suddenly pushed the flames off my hair, the ends of which shivered up into small balls.

"What the fuck are you doing?" Zane barked out in a panicked voice. I turned my head to look at him, and flinched slightly when I realized his face was right beside mine. I had forgotten he was there. I had forgotten he existed, frankly. I could tell he was trying to keep a calm face, but the tensing of his forehead gave away his level of slight panic.

"What? It's just hair." I said flatly, bending down to pick up the lighter that I had dropped on the ground. Zane eyed the lighter like he wanted to grab it from my hands, so I raised the cigarette I had grabbed with my other hand, as if to show him that my science experiment was over. I rolled my eyes as I lit it, and took a deep inhale.

"You smoke a lot." Zane muttered, eyeing the cigarette in my hand. It was quiet, almost like he was making a notation to himself.

"You've known me for a year and haven't noticed that yet?" I answered. Everyone knows I smoke.

"You're smoking more today than you usually do." He said as he stroked his chin.

Was I? How would he know?

"A year and a half, by the way." Zane added. "I've known you a year and a half."

Who cares? I couldn't say that though. I think that might be mean.

I frowned as my cigarette burnt down to the filter. Normally, I wouldn't chain smoke, but right now I was struggling to find a reason why that mattered. So I fished another cigarette out of the box, and held the tip up to the now burning butt. I didn't know why Zane was still here. I had made it pretty clear I didn't want to talk to him. I didn't want to talk to anyone.

"Why didn't you go on the boat?" Zane asked, seemingly unaffected by my cold demeanour.

"Why didn't you?" I fired back, and he seemed almost surprised that I answered him.

"Cain told me that you weren't going, and he didn't want you to have to stay by yourself. He wanted to stay back himself, but he was worried you wouldn't want him here." He explained.

"I wouldn't have." I said coldly.

Zane frowned at my response, probably feeling wounded in defence of his friend. "Why not?"

I didn't have any particular reason, so I didn't answer.

"Did he do something to you?" Zane asked quietly, like he didn't want to hear the answer.

I looked at him in surprise, wondering why he would jump to that conclusion. "No. Cain is fine."

Zane looked even more confused, but he simply nodded.

"So why did you stay back? You didn't care that I wouldn't want you here?" I asked Zane, and I was surprised that I cared enough to ask.

He was about to answer as we heard the roaring engine of Carter's boat. I turned my head towards the sound, watching as the boat full of laughing teenagers approached the dock. Making it look easy, Carter jumped off the hull of the boat, grabbing the rope that was attached to the side and expertly tying it to the dock, holding it into place.

Everyone had smiles on their faces. They looked exactly how I expected myself to look this weekend. Sun kissed, glowing, happy.

Okay, maybe I didn't expect myself to be happy. That might have been a stretch. Content, at the least. I hadn't expected to feel this empty.

As the group unloaded from the boat and made their way towards us, my mind gave my body a gentle nudge to remain impassive. No one can suspect anything. No one can notice. Nothing happened. Nothing.

"Seren! You missed a good time." Carter called out, he was trailing behind the group, but started into a jog, in attempt to reach them. I tried to shoot him a smile, but I don't think it worked.

"We missed you out there, S!" Benji said as he approached us. "You would have looked laid out on the boat, especially in that bikini." He trailed his eyes down my body, pausing as he reached my breasts. Normally, I'd cringe, at least inwardly. I had gotten pretty good at ignoring him, and all the other guys who felt like they could look at me whenever they wanted.

I didn't piss me off like it used to. It's like I'd lost any sense of dignity I'd once held. I simply stared back at Benji, waiting until his eyes travelled up to mine again. When they did, he sent me a wink.

"Seren, can we talk now?" Carter asked me, once he had caught up with the group. He seemed excited. I noticed Jax looking at me expectantly from behind him, no trace of the smile I would normally get when he saw me. Instead, he was looking at me like you would look at a dog while waiting for them to obey your command to roll over. It's like this was a test, and he was waiting for me to pass.

So, I didn't.

"Sure."