Leaving home and going off to college is usually scary and nerve-wracking but for Berkley, the fact that Boston University was only 20 minutes from her house and the fact that her best friend Dean was going there with her made it not so scary, which was a good thing considering everything she had already been through in the last 6 months. The less stress the better.

Berkley sat cross legged on her bedroom floor with the entire contents of her closet spread out in front of her because she needed to start deciding what she was going to take with her when she left for college in a week, what was going to Goodwill and what was going in the trash.

She never realized how many clothes she had that she never wore until now. There was a pretty large pile of dresses with the tags still on them that her Mom had bought her, because she had been in complete denial that Berkley was a tomboy and not a girly girl.

The memories of the arguments she had with her Mom every time she bought a new dress went through her mind and she couldn't help but feel nostalgic, tears burning at her eyes as she picked up the pile of dresses and squeezed them to her chest. She would give anything to have her Mom back, to see her just one more time, to give her a hug and tell her how much she loved her.

She regretted every stupid argument, every wasted minute, because she had taken for granted that she'd always be there. Unfortunately she wouldn't. If she could only go back in time, it would have been so different. It's true what they say, you never know what you've got til it's gone. She wished she could go back and just wear those stupid dresses and see her Mom smile with pride. She took a deep breath in and sighed, knowing it was too late for that.

"Hey you alright?" she heard a deep voice ask and she raised her head and opened her eyes to see her best friend Dean Bradshaw standing there, wearing his black leather jacket, his tall dominating frame taking up most of her doorway, running a hand through the dark brown hair that covered his forehead, looking at her with those midnight blue eyes that held so many memories for her.

"Yeah," she said, taking a deep breath in and letting it out. "Just got hit with the feels. Mom bought me these dresses," she said quietly.

Dean came in and sat down beside her, rubbing her back and then pulling her closer so she'd lay her head on his shoulder, giving her a look of sympathy. She got that look from people a lot these days.

"Please don't look at me like that," she sighed.

"Like what?" he asked, looking confused.

"Like everybody else does, with pity and sympathy. They can look at me like that but not you Dean. That look doesn't make me feel better. It makes me feel like shit and just reminds me that she's gone and probably never coming back. I swear if one more person asks me if I'm alright or how I'm feeling, I'm gonna scream."

"Did you make an appointment with that therapist my Mom recommended?"

She rolled her eyes and lifted her head off his shoulder. "No. I'm tough enough to get through this without a freakin' shrink. I'm not crazy. I'm just going through a hard time right now."

"I never said you were crazy Berk. What you witnessed would be hard for anybody to have to deal with on their own. You're still having nightmares almost every night where you wake up screaming, you're not getting enough sleep and I can already see it taking a toll on you. You look tired. You know asking for help doesn't mean you're not tough right?"

She thought back to the three times she woke up last night screaming and covered in sweat, gasping like she just ran a marathon. She took a deep breath in and let it out, hanging her head.

"Maybe the therapist will know how to make the nightmares stop," he offered. He was always worrying and being protective and trying to fix everything for her. Sometimes it was sweet and sometimes it was annoying.

"Sometimes it helps to just have somebody to talk to," he said.

"Well isn't that why you decided at the last minute to go to Boston University with me instead of going to college out in California? So you could be there for me if I needed you? I have you to talk to so I don't need a therapist," she said firmly.

Then she picked up the pile of dresses and tossed them all into the box marked for Goodwill.

She looked over into Dean's dark blue eyes and he was giving her a look like he wasn't convinced so she ran her fingers through his brown hair, ruffling it up and crossing her eyes and sticking out her tongue at him to lighten the mood.

That made his bright, white smile return and the little dimple show up on his tanned cheek.

Dean scooted closer and pulled her into a cuddle and she laid her head against his chest and took a deep breath in and let it out. Dean always gave the best hugs and being wrapped up in his strong arms was always comforting and took her stress and sadness away.

"I can't even tell you how happy I am that you decided to go to college with me," she said, exhaling and snuggling deeper into him. "Thank you," she whispered.

"Of course. What are best friends for? You know I'll always be here for you Berk," he said, kissing the top of her head.

"I hope so," she said softly.

"Dad, you're crushing me," Berkley groaned, from inside his back breaking hug.

He laughed and stepped back, wiping his tears. "Sorry Peanut. I can't help it. I can't believe my little girl is actually going off to college. It seems like just yesterday I was changing your diapers."

"Dad, please don't talk about changing my diapers," she cringed.

It was weird seeing her Dad, a 6'3 burly man's man, co-CEO of a fishing boat company, crying like a little girl. The last time she saw him cry was 6 months ago, when the thing with her Mom happened. He was a rare crier which made this whole interaction that much more awkward.

Her Dad pulled her into another hug and kissed the top of her head with tears in his eyes.

"Dad I'm not even leaving town," she laughed. "You do realize I'm still gonna be here in Boston right? I'll come home on the weekends to visit. Not every weekend but sometimes and then we have breaks too."

"Are you sure you and Dean want to live at the dorms? You could just live at home and commute since it's so close."

"No. I want to get the full college experience. Just be glad I'm not going to school all the way across the country like Keagan did."

He smiled. "Yeah. I'm definitely thankful for that. Man it's gonna be weird being in this big house all alone now," he said sadly and seeing the pain in his eyes made her heart break for him. She knew how much he missed her Mom. They all did.

"I love you Dad. I might not be living here any more but any time you need to talk just call me," she said, giving him one more hug and a kiss on the cheek before heading out to the front yard where Dean was finishing loading all of her stuff into the trunk and backseat of his car. With his stuff too it was completely full where you couldn't see out the back window.

She slid into the passenger seat of his completely blacked out Chevy SS Camaro and a couple minutes later he slid into the driver's seat.

"Hey slut," she said to him with a smile.

"Hey prude," he said, smiling back, as he started up the car with a rumble and they headed down the road.

She liked to tease him about what a man whore he was and he teased her about being a virgin. That's just how they had always talked to each other and neither of them got offended.

"Are you excited about college?" she asked.

"Am I excited?" he scoffed. "Dude. There's gonna be a party practically every night with tons of hot, horny college chicks. What do you think?"

"Of course. I should've known that's what you were excited about. Trying to live up to your nickname huh?" Berkley laughed.

"No one else calls me slut but you, so it's hardly my nickname," he laughed

"Well, give it time. I'm sure it will be," she laughed. "I bet those hot college chicks will be excited when you step foot on campus. It'll probably be just like high school all over again where they just swoon and fall at your feet. Oh Dean!" she said dramatically, pretending to faint over onto him.

"A man can hope," he smirked, pushing her away, "I sure wouldn't be complaining."

Berkley sat up and punched his arm. "You're such a dog Bradshaw."

He looked over at her with a smirk before barking a couple times and making her laugh and roll her eyes.

Dean was one of those guys that was extremely hot but he knew it and he was a huge player. He didn't even bother to hide it around Berkley because he treated her just like one of the guys, because she had always been a tomboy and his best friend since they were babies. He was only 3 months older than her.

Her Dad and Dean's Dad were best friends growing up and they started a really successful fishing boat company together before Dean and Berkley were born. Their Dads were Co-CEO's of it so her and Dean were always together growing up. Him and his family were like part of her family.

"So you're going to be at parties picking up chicks and I'm going to be at the library. College will be like high school all over again," she laughed.

"Nope. I'm dragging you out with me whether you like it or not. I'm not letting you waste your college years in a library loser," he laughed.

"Oh no. I will not be an accomplice to your crimes against women's hearts sir."

"Hey. I don't lead them on. They know I'm not interested in anything serious right from the start but they seem to forget that part after we've had sex. They become all clingy and emotional. They break their own hearts," he said defensively.

"Yeah, maybe or maybe they're just naive and optimistic. Being with you will cure them of that real quick. Eventually they'll learn that all men are pigs and can't be trusted."

"Wow. That sounds very bitter Berk. So I'm guessing you and loverboy are over?"

"Yeah. I went to pay Blake a surprise visit yesterday to say goodbye before he left for college. I caught that asshole making out with Skye Evans in his car."

"What?!" he asked in shock. "Seriously? Skye Evans is a total whore and you're way hotter than she is. He's an idiot."

Berkley sat there for a second dumbfounded. She couldn't believe that Dean really just said she was hotter than Skye Evans. Skye was gorgeous.

"Hey, look at the bright side," he told her. "At least you found out now what a cheating, lying, no good piece of shit he really is. You would've been up here waiting around, being faithful to some long distance boyfriend you never see while he would've been down at Florida State hooking up with randoms. Now you get to start your freshman year of college completely free."

She looked at him for a second before she laughed and shook her head. "How do you always know exactly the right thing to say to cheer me up?"

"I don't know. Maybe it's my superpower," he shrugged, shooting her a smile as he gripped the top of the steering wheel with one hand.