☁︎︎

Happy.

I'm a little happy that I'm going to be seeing Laila today in the hospital.

I've been really tired and when I haven't been sleeping I've been taking care of Levi.

Kai tries to help but I just want to be with my baby boy so I don't take the help.

He sits on the couch most times and just stares into space.

Were both hurt.

I look down to my baby boy and he looks up at me as he lays in my arms.

He makes the cutest noises ever and it makes my heart melt into pieces.

I think that Kai has only held him once since he was born and he has been here for 2 days.

I brush his little hair out of his face as I look at him and his cute face.

The door opens and Laila comes running in along with Charlotte.

Laila runs up to my bed as Kai looks up and walks quickly to his mother and hugs her tightly.

I see his body shake with sobs as I turn to Laila.

"Mommy, is that my brother?," she asks me and I nod my head at her.

"Yes, his name is Levi," I say, she stares at him curiously before she kisses his face.

"He's tute," she mumbles as she plays with his little baby hand.

A big part of my grief is feeling like I need to be with Levi at all times or he's going to go with his sister.

I think it's my anxiety or just a fear but I always check if he's breathing and need to be around him.

I want to comfort Kai but how do I comfort him when I am not even well myself.

He just stares there all day and doesn't sleep.

If he sees that I saw him crying he wipes his face and just holds it in so I don't see it.

Laila starts to move his arm around as she looks at him and he just stares at her.

"He mean, why tute but mean?," she says.

"He's not mean he just can't really smile yet or laugh," I say to her and she nods her head.

"I go see daddy," Laila runs and slams into his legs as he pulls himself away from his mom.

He picks Laila up and hugs her as he kisses all over her face making her laugh.

I watch them interact and it's the sweetest thing I've ever seen.

It's time to feed Levi so I pick him up and put him under my shirt as I let him latch onto me.

He starts to eat happily as I look up at everyone.

Charlotte grabs a chair and sits next to me.

"So, how are you feeling after giving birth?," she asks me and I lightly smile.

"I'm just sore, and tired. But, I'm very grateful for my little boy and being able to be his mom," I mumble as I look at him under my shirt.

Kai is sitting on the couch with Laila on his lap.

She's talking so quickly to him and he just listens to her speak and nods along.

"That's good! How are you doing with the loss of baby Luna?," she asks me and I exhale a shaky breath.

"I get upset about it at times, and I've shut kai out. I don't let him help with the baby and I think he's only held him once. I feel guilty but I don't know how to let him in," I say to her and she smiles sadly.

"Even if you don't need help Kai deserves to be able to take care of his baby. You have to understand that he's going through exactly what you're going through. Just lean on eachother," she mumbles and I nod my head at her.

I need to be better to Kai and maybe it will help me too.

I pat Levi's little butt as he eats in hopes that he will fall asleep right now.

Laila comes running back to me and smiles.

"Mommy I see my tute brother?," she says and I smile before lifting up my shirt to show his head on my left boob but covering my right one.

"So tute," she yells as she claps her hands.

"Mommy I used to eat you?," she asks me as she stares at him eating his milk.

"Mhm when you were so little," I say to her and she nods her head.

"But I big now. Only eat big girl food," she shrugs before running back to Kai and jumping onto his lap aggressively.

"I'm going to the cafeteria do you guys need anything," Kai says standing by the door with Laila holding his hand.

"A coffee please and Aulora will have a some food and water," Charlotte says looking at me with a look that screams 'don't you dare disagree with me' and I just nod.

He nods before walking out of the room.

Even if I haven't let him near me a lot he still always did anything I asked him too.

I'm very grateful for him.

It takes a few minutes before Laila comes back holding a tray of food.

Kai bends down and whispers in her ear.

"Go give the food to mommy," he says to her and she smiles before walking to me and giving me the food.

She runs back and grabs charlottes coffee and then gives it to her.

"I do good, daddy?," she asks him and he nods his head at her before sitting back on the couch with her.

He hands her his phone so she can play games on it as she sits there.

I start to eat my food as Levi nurses.

I eat a bite of my food before I check inside my shirt to see what Levi is doing and he's dead asleep.

I unlatch him and cradle him to me as I take him out of my shirt and wipe his mouth.

"Baby, can you hold him so I can finish eating?," I ask kai and he looks kind of shocked that I asked him and I feel so bad.

He nods his head rapidly.

He gets up and walks to me as he slowly picks up a sleeping Levi from my arms.

He takes him and cradles him against his chest before going to sit back in the couch.

"Baby," I whisper and he turns around.

"Sit with me," I say as I scoot over on the bed and give him some room to sit next to me.

He sits and cradles Levi as I put my hand on his thigh and use my other hand to eat.

Charlotte sits in her chair as Laila lays in between my legs with her head rested on my belly.

I am eating a burger and fries.

I grab a fry and put it to Kai's mouth as he opens it and eats the fry out of my hand.

I start to eat my burger as Laila looks at me.

"Me have bite of your Sammy?," she asks as she stares at me.

I nod my head and put the sandwich up to her mouth and let her take a bite of it.

Charlotte has gathered her things to leave now so it's just us.

"Mmm so yummy," Laila laugh and baby Levi wakes up even thought he only slept for a few minutes.

Kai smiles at him and kisses his face.

Levi starts to lick his lips over and over as he looks at kai and I laugh because what is he doing.

After I finish eating and sharing with my family I decide it's time to go to sleep as we all cuddle in the bed.

"I love you," I mumble to Kai and he pecks my lips.

"I love you more," he says and we all fall asleep.

☁︎︎☁︎︎☁︎︎

It's time to go home and I can't be more excited to get back inside of my big bed and be at my house with my family.

Levi doesn't have a nursery, he has a crib in our room.

Laila never had a nursery and just slept with me and Kai so that's what we're doing with baby Levi.

Then he can pick out how to decorate his room when he gets a bit older.

We gather all our things from the hospital room as I strap Levi to his car seat.

I'm still limping from pushing to babies out of my poor vagina but I'll get better.

He starts to cry in the car seat because someone isn't holding him.

He loves to be held just like Laila did but he's worse you can't put him down for anything.

Kai grabs all our stuff and the car seat as I limp out of the room holding Lailas small hand.

We make it to our car as Kai straps Laila in and I sit in the front.

Once we start driving Levi starts to cry so loudly I swear my ear is going to burst.

"Mommy Lee is cry," Laila states the obvious and i cackle.

"I know baby, can you get his Paci and put it in his mouth," I ask her and she nods her head at me.

She grabs it and pops it into his mouth as he slowly quiets down.

We make our way to the house as we unstrap everyone and carry Levi's car seat inside.

We unlock the door and get inside.

Finally home...

☁︎︎

Here's chapter 57.

Everyone says that their attached to this book and it's their comfort book but after this is over I'm gonna publish a new book and you can get attached to that. (PS no one dies in it)

Not eating or drinking anything and then going swimming is not for the weak I tell you that.

I HIT 2K FOLLOWERS AND ALMOST 700K READS AND ALMOST 3.5K ON TIK TOK IM LITERALLY CRYING ILY GUYS SO MUCH.

The book is happy from here on out okay so don't worry.

Sorry for late upload I was busy.

I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thank you for reading see you next time! I love you -addyson <333