Sometimes I wonder what my life would've been like. I would be in high school right now, wondering where I would be going to go to college, and hang out with my friends on the weekends.

What normal seventeen year olds would be doing.

What's it like going to see high school games I've overheard the other kids my age talk about? Why are people so excited to watch them? I've never really seen the sport myself except for when I've been cleaning and notice that some of the boys are watching the "games" on tv. I don't understand what's so amazing about it but they clearly love it seeing I have to clean up the mess they make from their snacks and drinks.

I want to experience those school dances or one that I hear a lot, prom.

I've seen different girls get ready for it. Sometimes I was made to help them get ready for it. As a way of saying that this will be as "close as I get to prom." Parents with their kids getting ready for one of the biggest moments in their high school loves and I had to watch silently from top of the staircase near my room. Wondering what it would feel like for my mom to take pictures of me and my prom date and my dad would warn him not to hurt me on my special night. Or even my mom helping me pick out a dress for me that would compliment my skin tone or whatever any girls reasons would be. Watching it just kept reminding me what my life could've been.

I want to know what fun is again. I know the fun I used to know is completely different then what it's supposed to be now. And hopefully I'll be able to leave this place. There just needs to be a right time right?

I need a right time.

I hated being treated like this. Like I'm nothing. Did I even deserve a place in this world if I was just going to be treated like this for the rest of my life.

Many of the girls in the pack would tell me I'm not pretty, that no guy would ever pick me over one of them. And they've been telling me this for so long I would start to believe them. I wasn't fed much at all. I was very skinny but you wouldn't be able to notice under all of the big clothes Sir gave me to wear. My brown hair was poofy and was supposed to be more kinkier curls that usually goes passed my shoulders, hasn't brushed in I don't know how long. I probably didn't smell the best considering I could only shower once every month or so. Sometimes not even that. I had plain dull brown eyes, that every time I looked in the small hand-held mirror I stole from the bathroom, they would have bags and looked lifeless most of the time. This life has taken a toll on me but I've never really know anything else.

I made my way back to the main part of the pack house,trying not to think so hard about mystery man. He couldn't leave my mind and it seemed like he wouldn't be leaving any time soon either. I cant get that distracted again I could get myself into trouble if I get that distracted.

Usually one thing helps me get things off my mind and it's the pack library .The only thing in the world that I look forward too everyday, is the library within the pack house. So many books, all a different story. I made my way to the further parts of the house. No one really uses the library anymore so it really benefits me not being seen when I get these books. I sneak some of the books that seem interesting in the baggy clothes I wear and slowly take them in my room, light the few candles I had along with the little ceiling light and get comfortable on my tiny mattress. I would get the books that teach you. Books that make you laugh. Anything that could take my mind off of everything going on in my life. It helps me escape my reality.

I'd like to think that I know basic learning due to the books I've found in that library. Simple math, language arts, science, and history. I wasn't allowed to go to school either and I wanted to learn as much as I could. I don't know if I've caught up with high school standards, but at least I know something right?

My first romance book left me wanting to read more. It reminded me of what I saw that my parents had. Someone that would love you no matter what was just everything to me. Would I ever have that? Will I be able to leave this place to go find someone?

I've heard members around the pack say they want or don't want "mates" and I have no idea what they are. No one talks about them that much. I tried looking them up in the books in the library but I could never find one single book in that library that talks about them. I've checked through half the romance books in that library and even more beyond that. I still can't find anything about the word "mate."

There was a small knock on my door. Did I miss anything of my chores today? I swear I've done everything.

I hid the books under my thin blanket and anxiously walked over to the door. I opened it expecting to see someone but I was not expecting to see a plate of food laying at my feet. It was grilled chicken with a side of mashed potatoes and peas. I looked down the hall and I saw a tuft of blonde hair ghostly turn around the corner.

Liam.

I picked up the plate and the food still seemed fairly warm. It's been so long since I've had food like this. He usually doesn't do these kinds of things. He sometimes would leave new candles for me or another shirt but nothing like a full meal.

But I wasn't complaining.

I uncovered the books and slowly savored the bite of seasoned grilled chicken in my mouth. Forever remembering the taste, knowing that I won't get to taste this again in a long time. Picking up one of the romance books I chose, I put another forkful of potatoes in my mouth.

I would never forget this peaceful moment.

•~~~~~~•

The next day, I woke up at 8:30 as usual. I had to be downstairs in 10 minutes to make breakfast for Sir and Liam.

I put on a thing long sleeve red shirt with sweatpants that were to small for me. I had no choice but to leave my frizzy curly hair down. Having no hair ties like the rest of the girls is such a struggle.

My stomach is still full from the food I ate last night. Just looking at the empty plate reminds me of the moment, but also how long it will be until I have it again.

Hiding the plates and books under my mattress, I made my way out of my attic room. It was sectioned off from everyone else so it took a little bit until I got to the kitchen.

When I arrived, Sir was already sitting at the table and Liam was no where to be seen yet. "Good morning Sir," I whispered as I made my way to the stove. He waved me off as usual but if I haven't said anything it would've been like all hell broke loose.

As I made my way to the fridge to get the eggs and bacon out, Liam walked into the kitchen and sat across from his father.

"Son, I was starting to worry about you. You left so suddenly at dinner last night with your food, What were you thinking taking your food to your room especially when we had company. Do you know how embarrassed I was ?" Sir said. The way he spoke made it look like he was just taunting him. He turned the next page of his newspaper.

"Maybe if you didn't try to set me up with every alphas daughter out there I wouldn't be as pissed of all the time," Liam said. You could tell that he was getting angry. He began to clench his fists, resting on top of the table. Sir noticed this," You need to find a luna Liam and soon. Your almost 18 years old and I'm getting closer and closer to retirement. I need to know that our pack is in good hands."

Like it was in good hands now.

"I'll find my mate when the time is right."

Theres that word again.

I finally was through making their breakfasts and laid their plates in front of them. I tried making eye contact with Liam but he wouldn't look at me.

I just went back in the kitchen and started to clean up everything I used.

A couple minutes later I hear ," Oh Kaylaaa."

No, please no.

I walked over to Sir.

"Do you notice anything particular with my eggs?" Sir asked. He was tapping the table.

I looked at them. They weren't burnt they must've tasted fine. Liam was eating them just fine.

"No sir. I can not see anything," I whispered quietly.

"Maybe you should look a little closer."

He lunged for my neck, bringing my head closer to his plate. I could barely breathe.

"Do you see anything now?!" he yelled at me. It was so, so loud.

My vision was starting to get blurrier. It was hard for me to distinguish what was wrong with his food. My vision was turning into black dots and I started to feel nauseous with my air supply almost gone.

I looked again at the eggs and notice that there was a little eggshell in it. One tiny eggshell.

"Y-yes sir," I choked out. I could barely breathe let alone talk.

"Dad-,"

He let me go. I started coughing uncontrollably. My eyes were watering. It felt like I was crying but i can never figure that out anymore.

"Next time be more careful or that won't be the worst that you get," he threatened. I nodded rubbing my neck.

"I'm finished anyways. Hopefully the next breakfast will be more exciting."

Sir got up and walked out of the room like he almost just didn't kill me. I was still shaking from when he had his hand around my throat. It would for sure leave some type of bruise.

Slowly recovering from my little panic attack, I picked up Sirs plate and was starting to make my way to the kitchen. Before I did though I looked over at Liam. His hand was balled up around his fork and he was staring at a blank spot on the table.

Maybe I could say something now.

"Um," I started out, " I knew it was you that left me your food last night."

He looked up at me a little, " I wanted to say thank you for-," he cut me off.

"You're trying to thank me after that?"

I nodded shyly. It's not like it was anything new.

"He almost killed you and that's what came up in your mind right after?"

There was an awkward silence. I didn't know what to say.

"Why do y-," he was cut off now.

The door opened to the kitchen and Sir pointed to me. I flinched.

"You feeding our special prisoner from now on none of us seem like they can handle him," he said it with a sadistic smirk on his face.

One that I knew so well.

I nodded, " Y-yes sir. I'll add it to my chores."

He walked out again. Leaving my and Liam alone again. That's the first time Liams ever said anything to me. Especially so much at one time.

We made eye contact until he left the room, leaving his plate on the table also. It seems like I always disappoint everyone and I don't even try. Even Liam who is the only one that is remotely nice to me.

I looked at the clock and it was about time out "prisoner" would get his food. I could only assume it was mystery man.

Even the prisoners got fed more than me, but there food wasn't the greatest either. It was something canned that Sir kept separated from the rest of the food. It didn't have a smell but didn't look the most appetizing.

I put the food on the tray along with a paper cup filled with water and made my way down to the prison ward outside of the house. The guards let me through seeing that I only came to feed the only prisoner that we had.

I soon was walking through the familiar hallway where I last saw mystery man. Just thinking about him was making me feel different.

I kept walking till I got to the far end and made a left. I opened the small door that led to the cells.

The stench was awful down here. It smelled of sweat, blood, and more of that stuff that Sir stuck into mystery man to calm him down. I don't know what it's called.

I could here heavy breathing and growling once he knew someone else was near him. I was so scared. Sir said no one else could handle him.

I kept walking closer. Be brave. Be brave. Be brave.

It seemed as the closer I got, his growling stopped. He started sniffing the air.

Why would you start sniffing. It smells so bad in here.

Mystery man came into my view. His head was still held down but he was still sniffing. I think he was trying to catch my scent? He had chains around his wrists and ankles and he had a torn black shirt on. He was also wearing gym shorts.

I crouched down to slide the food under the bars that allowed a bit of space for that reason. As I was sliding the tray , I could feel his stare on me. I slowly looked up, peeking up at him.

To say I was intimidated was an understatement.

I found myself looking into those deep blue eyes again. The ones I couldn't get out of my head ever since I first saw him.

"Hi."