That night, as I was curled up in bed, my chest wound ached. Not the itching ache of healing, but that of a phantom pain. A reminder of the past. I wondered, do we leave something of ourselves behind with the people we meet? What had I left behind? My blood, sweat and tears were with Inparem, mixed into his grave. Ursula had my betrayal. The remnants of a broken bond. I could still feel it, a certainty that if I tried, I could reach out to her. I didn’t dare. Not until I was worthy of it.

After spending the day reading, I felt satiated. In a way a meal couldn’t fulfill. Food for thought indeed. Some of the stories from the book, I had known different iterations of from Inparem. One of the legends had mentioned a dream traveler, someone who could walk through different dreams, not of his own. His talent had been celebrated, through his dream traveling he had spied for his kingdom, found his greatest love and greatest enemy. Until one day, when he never woke up again.

I had traveled to a dream before. Ursula’s dream, as we walked together in the forest. She had pushed me away, saying I should stay too long. I wanted to try it again, to try and share a dream with my mother, a world away. To tell her that I am alive. Are dreams bound to their world? Or with a frisson of excitement I wondered, are they bound between the living? If anything could cross the line easily between dimensions, I imagined it could be something elusive, such as a dream. My sister and I had been close, if dream traveling used love as a connection, ours would be strong. Relaxing enough after that thought until I fell asleep took many hours.

***

An especially loud twitter through the window, started me awake early the next morning. A bitter feeling pooled in my stomach. It did not succeed. I would try again tonight, I promised myself that today would be a good day despite my failure. I entered the kitchens to talk to Lila. I hadn’t appreciated the hazing yesterday, at least that’s what I thought it was. It couldn’t be normal for a kitchen of this kind of household to be empty. She wasn’t there when I came in, but Aemilia was. I was starting to wonder if she lived in that chair. Her head was leaning on the side, from the angle of the door, I couldn’t be sure but I thought she was sleeping.

As I silently started to close the door, a squeak gave me away.

“Come in.” Aemilia croaked.

“Are you feeling alright?” I asked.

“A throat-sore. It will pass.”

“Let me make you something.” I knew that the pantry was empty, but perhaps there would be some tea somewhere else.

“There is nothing here.” She waved her hand dismissively. “It will pass, it always does.”

I heated up some water, hot water to drink might soothe her throat.

“I was hoping to talk to Lila about the food shopping, to avoid the complaints of last night.”

“Didna like it did they? I knew they wouldna. Lord Ibis lightens the market moneybag to that of a feather, but expects to eat like a king. You did good.”

“Where is the moneybag? Perhaps I can go shopping myself.”

“With Dominic.”

Hunting Dominic down was easy, convincing him to give me the moneybag, was not. Finally, with a mighty glare, he passed it to me.

“There are exactly four leera and a quarter there. This is meant to last for the next week. Do not go thinking you can skim off the top, I know the market costs.”

With that and directions to the market, I left. It was close by, a cleaner and more open place then the market I had slept in, the first night I had been here. The stalls were all well spaced, with wide shade brims. Each a colorful color.

I hurried past the start of the market, I saw displays of jewelry and cloth. One had a display of weapons, gleaming with oil. Another had an empty table, with a plain tablecloth. The seller was sitting and meditating. Everyone gave that table a wide berth. When I reached the food part of the market I enjoyed the sight in front of me. I haven’t seen such a big concentration of food anywhere, since I had visited a supermarket. Walking around one staring at the different food stuff sounded like a pleasant daydream to me now. But even better, was walking around in this market and exploring the alien food. On one display of vegetables, I saw a tied pile of greens, reminiscent of celery. It had a smell I couldn’t place, until I realized that must have been what gave the soup a minty taste, that I had eaten in the luncheon. I remembered it well, because it had been the only pleasant dish then.

“How much for that bundle?” I asked the saleswoman. She had a likable visage. Her hair was swept up tied on the back of her head, with a blend of white and black curls exploding out of the tie. Her face was open and relaxed, although I felt that she had kept a close eye on me as I had wandered over.

“A quarter.”

Internally, my jaw dropped. A quarter for a bundle of greens? I may not have had a complete grasp on this currency, but I knew that was way too expensive.

“Can you give me a better price if I buy more?”

Her face soured, the open and friendly looked dropping like a mask. “No haggling. This is the Noble Market. If you canna afford it, go somewhere else.”

Good advice, I agreed with her silently. Outwardly, I wished her a good day and hurried away. I would try to find a cheaper market. I could take a look at the one I had slept in.

Before I left, a screaming shrill caught my attention. A swift chopping sound followed, one that would have been inaudible against the noise of the market without the quiet sobbing that followed it.

Heading towards where the sound had been, I felt sick at the sight before me. A vaguely humanoid figure was on a large chopping board, beheaded. It was a small size, perhaps standing it would have reached a little bit above my knee. The head lolling lifeless on the table was bald, with gills. It’s eyes wide and lidless, it had a protective bubble around them instead. The whole of the body was blue, with green tones around the three fingered hands and webbed feet. Strangely, I couldn’t help noticing that it was sexless, there was no genitalia. The strange mewling sound I had recognized as crying, came from a caged child on the table. The body on the table was swiftly packed in a fancy cloth, and handed to the customer across the table.

The eyes of the seller turned to me, his next prospective customer.

“Hello miss, new around here? Havna seen you around before.”

The butcher was friendly. Friendlier than the vegetable saleswoman. I wasn’t falling for that again, I wondered what it would take for him to drop that mask.

“Yes, I started to work at the Ibis household a few days ago.”

“Ah, send Aemilia my regards. She used to be a frequent customer of the Lamellae. A product for only the most distinguished of palettes, such as for Lord Ibis.” Gesturing to the caged child he added, “we had a lucky catch this morning. The younger, the better is what they say.”

“Do you catch and sell many of them?” I asked faintly.

He smiled. “There are many a traditional Imperial Lascan dishes made from their meat. Overfishing for generations has taken its toll. Today they are a rare catch, and treat.” He winked at the last word.

“But aren’t they…” I searched for the right word, “alive?”

“Feeling squeamish are you? My daughter doesna like them as well. They are just animals, I assure you. Can not even talk.” Casually he poked his cleaver through the bars of the cage. The cage was too small for the child to budge away, it shrieked. “See? That and crying are the only noises they make.”

Every fiber of my being disagreed with what he said. My experience with Ursula and the eyes of the child were proof of it. They were intelligent, and had ping ponged back and forth between us as we spoke. I wondered how not everybody in the market could see that. Those eyes pierced my heart, and I knew I couldn't leave it here, to be chopped on a board still wet with its parents' blood.

“How much?”

“Well, you being new and from the Ibis household... Three leera.”

“Three leera?!”

“Consider it a one time welcome price.” He was obviously pleased by my exclamation, misunderstanding me. The crying sounds from the cage had stopped. The child had gone silent. The silence of defeat, of giving up. My heart went out to it. It was more than half the market allowance but I paid it, carrying the caged child home. I sneaked in behind the mansion, hoping to get in from the back entrance. I wanted to avoid Dominic. It was late morning by now.

Swinging the door open, I came face to face with Solum, General perched on her shoulder. She was probably on her way to the family study. It was too late to hide the cage behind my back, that would have brought more notice to it than keeping it still. I smiled as though I had nothing to hide, and said good morning. Ignoring my good morning, she asked directly.

“Is that for lunch?”

“No!” I denied fiercely. “It’s a pet.”

“You bought a Lamellae as a pet?”

“Yes. Cute isn’t it?” I held the cage up. General swayed his head closer, right outside the bars, the child bared a row of sharp needle-like teeth at him, in a mockery of a smile. I hadn’t seen those before.

“Cute.” Solum suspiciously agreed. “But forbidden. Why would you want it as a pet?”

I felt as though we were in a strange reversal of our roles. In which Solum played the older, sensible woman and I the impulsive young one.

“Let’s go to the family study and I will explain there.” Dominic probably wouldn’t bother us there, or at least nobody had come by there yesterday.

We walked in silence until the door of the study closed. I placed the caged child on the table I had claimed as my own yesterday. I crossed my arms, prepared to defend myself. Unconsciously mirroring me, Solum did so too.

“Why is it forbidden to have them as pets?” I asked. Here in the safety of the study, I felt control again of the situation.

“I do not know. It has been that way for generations though. Why do you want to keep it as a pet?” She questioned back.

I sighed, uncrossing my arms. An idea forming, although I would need her help with it. “I think it is a conscious being.”

“If Lamellae were sentient, then we would not eat them.”

“Are you sure about that?”

“Lamellae have been eaten for generations.”

I picked up on her uncertainty. “Yes, there is the weight of generations of actions telling us that it is fine to eat them. But if there was nothing wrong with eating them, why would it be forbidden to keep them as pets?”

“For some reason, I never asked myself such a boring question.” She arched her perfectly formed eyebrows. There was the disagreeable reaction I had expected. It hadn’t taken long.

“Well, now that you are being asked, what do you think?”

“I do not know. Perhaps because they can be aggressive?”

“Does that justify a law, forbidding them as pets?”

“No, it does not.”

I sat at the table I had used yesterday, Solum followed my actions and sat at hers. I knew then, that I had her attention. In my best teacher voice I asked. “Can you think of examples of where ancestors were wrong?”

In a voice that said she was stating the obvious, she answered. “Lascan ancestors fought against the empire.”

Not exactly the kind of example I had been expecting, but I rolled with it. “If they were wrong about one thing, is it not possible they were wrong about eating Lamellae?”

Dubiously staring at the child, she answered. “I suppose?”

“What makes it okay for you to eat this child, but not General?”

“General’s species have been eaten in the past. However they do not yield much meat, and are more valued for their looks.” Upon hearing his name, General’s head rubbed against Solum’s arm, unaware of the morbidity of our conversation. She continued, “for a species to be considered sentient, they must have the capability of language. Lamellae don’t speak, have delicious meat and are ugly.”

The hope that I had been building up, came crashing down. Until she frowned and added, “Although it is strange that keeping them as pets is forbidden.”

Grasping at straws, I challenged her. “Let’s research why it was forbidden to keep them as pets.”

“Yes. And afterwards as a reward, we eat the child.” She smiled sweetly. I had asked myself why she had acquiesced easily. She must have realized that I cared, and was using this to hurt me.

I gave a jerk of my head, not willing to truly agree.

“If this is a concoction to enter the private collection it will not work.” Solum suddenly said.

“The private collection?” I was genuinely confused by the sudden change in the conversation.

“Where we keep books from before Lascus joined the Empire, when the discovery of the Lamellae and laws concerning them would have been written.”

“This isn’t a concoction to enter there, I didn’t even know you have books from before the Empire.”

“Good.” Standing up, she took out a key from a hidden waist pocket. “I will bring books up from the collection, and we will look through them together.” Turning around before she went down, she smiled cruelly, “the younger, the better right? I look forward to dinner.”