The second night at Inparem’s place - our place now, I dreamt. It felt familiar, as though I had dreamt it before. I was standing next to the Dual River, with the trees of the Walker’s forest around. Walking towards me was a bear I knew.

“Here again?” She asked.

I looked around, disoriented. “Here again?” I repeated, unsure what she meant.

“Humans.” She said it as a snort. “If you are going to keep dropping in like this, you might as well introduce yourself.”

“Um, well I’m Marin.”

“An unusual name. Were you named after the bitter sea?”

“I wasn’t, Marin is a variation of Mary.” Although my name was French variation, it wasn’t that unusual. Feeling stupid, I elaborated. “You know, like the virgin Mary?”

“I don’t know. Humans have a strange fetishism with virginity.”

I nodded vehemently. “I agree”

“You can call me Ursula.”

“It’s nice to meet you.”

“Perhaps.”

With that cryptic statement, we fell into a silence. She ambled along the river and I followed, walking beside her. In the haziness of the dream, it seemed natural to do so, and the silence a comfortable one. After some time she spoke again.

“Stay in my dream too long and you won’t be able to leave anymore.”

I opened my mouth, to ask what she meant or how to leave, but before I could, she pushed me into the river. I was drowning again, trying to swim up, trying to catch a breath, but then a strong current turned me over and I couldn’t tell where was up and I was angry - no furious, that I was in this nightmare again. Nightmare? Was my last thought before I woke up flailing.

“Marin, stop! You’ll fall.” It was Inparem, we were sleeping high up the trees, and I was half out of the hammock. The rope I had tight earlier around my waist dug sharply under my armpits. Any more wriggling and I might have come free from it. Coming to my senses I stilled. I could see Inparem clearly, he was lit by the tentative rays of dawn.

“I had a nightmare. Well sort of a nightmare. Only some of it was.” The gut churning feeling I had from the dream had not passed yet. High up on the tree, we had a beautiful clear view. Everything looked normal. Except for a strange cloud far away, on one of the hills that were some distance from the forest.

“What was your nightmare?”

I smiled at him, “Of a spotted bear and drowning again, but it’s already passing. It was just a dream.”

“Oh, a spotted ursas? Those are rare.”

“Hm.” I answered noncommently. Pointing to the cloud, I asked, “what do you think that is?” It was black, and looked almost like a fog with how it covered the whole hill.

Inparem paled. “Smoke.” For us to have seen it from this distance, it must be a big fire.

“What? What do we do?”

“It is far away, it might not reach here. But we should head down and towards the river, to be safe.”

Climbing down was easier than it used to be. Although I wasn’t without fear, I had a confidence I didn’t have before. As we reached the river, Inparem turned to me. “Marin, I have to tell you something.” His hands reached out and rested on my arms. He was serious.

“It was the village burning.”

“Are you sure?” It was inane to ask. There was no way to double check, we had already climbed down, and there were no particularly tall trees around the river. He was rubbing my arms soothingly, up and down. He didn’t speak, but his eyes answered.

“Let’s head there.” I said. A panicky feeling was rising, the churning in my gut from the nightmare already coming back. It was no use rushing to put it out, we were three hours away. Either the villagers had made it out in time, or they were already dead.

“The fire might spread, we could get caught in it.”

“Do you not want to head there?”

“Yes I do, let’s walk along the river as far as we can.”

We walked quickly, at almost a run, with a sense of urgency at every step. We were both breathing heavily. We must have made it in half the time it usually took to reach the village. By now, the morning sunlight was covered by a sharp rain. I was thankful for it, for the sake of the villagers, not minding the stinging feeling on my skin. It felt like the touch of many little fingers, urging me on, to walk faster.

Before we arrived, we could see from afar that the ring of trees surrounding the crown of the hill were black husks, some had fallen while others stood folded in on themselves, in a sort of crouch. Naked of leaves and blackened of color, the trees looked unrecognizable from what I had known. Judging by the black areas, the fire had not spread far from the hill. As we reached the top, we could see that almost everything was burnt away. Only the parts that had been made out of stone remained. The fire had gone mostly out, although there were still some swirling clouds of smoke in some places, they were thin and with the rain, would likely go out on their own.

“Wait.” I said. Before we went deeper into the village, I wanted to take some precautions. It was hard to think of as the village I knew and was familiar with, in front of me was a desolate place of destruction. Black and gray, with lumps of stone and unrecognizable twisted objects around. There was silence, heavy and pervading against the sound of my heartbeat, that was uncharachterstic of the village I knew. “Take off your shirt.”

Inparem looked at me seriously, not understanding what I meant. The graveness of our surroundings pressing on us.

“Please.” I reached my hand out, and he took his shirt off to give to me. Using the water skin, I wetted it and gestured to him to tie it around his mouth. “That will protect you from breathing in smoke and residue poisons.”

I did the same for myself, taking off my smock and tying it around my mouth. With the loose shift underneath I made a knot on the bottom, so that there would be less of the hem fluttering about. It was woefully unprepared compared to the firemen suits of protection I had known, but this was what I could do. The makeshift breathing masks didn’t help with the smell. It was heavy, with a strong acrid taste. I was conscious of every breath, because of how pervading it was. I do not know whether it was him or I that reached out, but we entered the village holding hands.

We were too late. We had known we would be, we lived too far away for the outcome to be otherwise. It didn’t make it easier. There was nothing to do, some areas we couldn’t enter because it was too hot. If there was anything to be salvaged, it would not be much. As we walked further in, Inparem flinched and tugged at my arm.

“Marin, let’s go.”

I turned to him, “What do you mean, why?” And then I saw. The numbness that had been creeping in on me hit in full force, and I stared at an image that I knew I would never forget. True horror was in reality, more than any horror movie or ghost story I had seen or heard. It was seared in my mind. Seared black, reminiscent of burnt meat, was a lump. Recognizably human only by the burnt teeth and bones that peeked out from the patches of burnt flesh. A child, perhaps even one of Ava’s children.

***

The next I remembered, I was walking next to Inparem. Our hands tightly clenched together, a life line. We were heading home. It was only afterwards, in the evening, as we sat in our clearing with a fire, that I spoke again.

“What do you think happened?”

“The village has many enemies. It must have been one of them, otherwise the other villagers would have been around. There would have been survivors who made it out in time. Even if nothing could be salvaged, the survivors would have been there to bury the dead.”

His words planted a seed of fear in me. Fear of the unknown, and fear of the future. Who were these enemies? What was their aim? Did they know about Inparem and I?

“Who do you think it was?”

Frustrated, Inparem answered “I do not know, it could have been anybody. It could have been the Walkers as punishment for my hunting. Perhaps they were searching for me.” His eyes were fearful.

“We don’t know that, it might not have been.” I tried to be reassuring, but the fear of seed had been planted in both of us, and it was budding. “It could have been the newcomer to the village, who was supposed to come after I left. Do you know who it was?”

“No. But whoever is invited by the village is observed first, you would not be shown to it unless you have a reason to hide. You were an exception, because of my connection to Matre.”

Trying to think through the numbness I felt, I thought of the future, of our safety. “We should leave, without the village and Matre, there isn’t much reason to stay.”

“Yes.” Inparem seized on that idea. “We could head to the city of Lascus. We would be safe there, hidden among other people. But that would take money. The flock was my investment, and it is gone. I have not gathered enough furs to sell, together they would not earn one whole leera.”

Heading to the little lean-to where Inparem and I kept our things, I took out the necklace from Matre, hidden in my basket. Holding it out, I showed it to him. It glittered in the firelight.

“So she gave it to you. I was wondering what happened with it.”

“We could sell it.” I offered, carefully keeping my voice even. It was my connection to her. Even thinking about selling it, made me feel sick. But we needed to survive somehow.

His eyes were sad. “No. Not unless we absolutely must. It was Matre’s, and is forbidden to sell anyways.”

“Why?” I found his talk of the forbidden strange coming from him, he hunted furs in a forbidden area as a living.

“It is proof of nobility. They can only be inherited. To sell it would be to welcome the ire of the empire. It is a gruesome death. Only if we are truly destitute should we consider it. At least hunting only risks the ire of the Walkers. Besides, there are strange stories of what happens to those who sell the necklace.”

Something pierced through the numbness and clutched at my heart. In the short time we had known each other, she had become a second mother to me. Her death was still fresh. This gift was her love to me as a daughter. Our feelings for one another embodied into an object. I didn’t press the point about selling it, it might be our best option, but I didn’t want to. Even if we could find someone in the remote villages in the hilled outlands who would buy it, Inparem could be recognized.

“What about God’s Hospitality? Perhaps we could survive in the city relying on that?”

Inparem looked at me blankly, and then seemed to understand what I was talking about. A half smile tugged at his mouth as he remembered that I was referencing our first meeting, where he had given me food freely with that explanation.

“God’s Hospitality is an ancient tradition that is not practiced anymore. At least nowhere that I know. I said it back then as an excuse.” As an afterthought he added in almost a mutter, “Lascus holds too many dangers to enter relying on the kindness of others.”

We lapsed into a silence, both deep in our thoughts. Neither of us ate, I had no appetite and neither did Inparem. It was only once we climbed up the trees and settled into our hammocks to sleep, that a thought occurred to me. The hammocks had reminded me of something from this morning, a morning that seemed distant and far off.

“You said that spotted ursas’ are rare? What do they look like?”

“Yes, very. They have a light honey colored fur with dark spots.”

That was precisely how I would describe Ursula’s fur. “How valuable is their fur?”

“Extremely valuable, they can grow to be gigantic. The larger the fur, the more money it is worth.”

“I think I know where to find one.”

“Because of your dream?”

“Yes, I recognized the Dual River and the trees of the forest. If we head along the river, we might find the tracks.”

“Even if you had a true-dream. The rain would have washed any tracks away, and it could have been deeper in the forest than we could easily reach.” Wiggling his head out of the hammock, to get a better look at me, Inparem added, “but it might have worked, with just one fur like that, we could sell for enough money for us to start out. And we could claim to have hunted it outside of the forest.”

A true-dream was not a term I knew, but it was easy enough to understand. “How do I know if it was a true-dream?”

“I don’t know, I never had one. I suppose when you find out if what you dreamt was true.” Peering at me he added, “Matre had them sometimes, but I do not know how it works. Could you try dreaming of it again? This could be exactly the solution we need.”

There was something holding me back, from this plan. “It’s alright though right? They are only animals?” Ursula had only spoken to me when I dreamt, and those dreams might not have been real. Or this world. What once would have been an insidious thought, was comforting. If this wasn’t real, then neither would be the hunting of Ursula, whether or not she was sentient, or the many deaths of today and Matre.

He laughed unexpectedly, a croaking dry sound. “They are animals like any other.”

Slightly relieved, by his words and the barebones of a plan, I snuggled into the hammock, determined to dream. It took me a long time to fall asleep, determination not being conducive to sleeping. But eventually I did.

***

In a clearing, I ran. “Ursula!” I called out again, “Ursula!”

“No need to shout, I can hear just fine. Unlike humans.” She materialized in front of me.

“It worked! Is this a true-dream?”

“In a way, but this is a place of your own dreaming.” With those words, the clearing we were in sharpened, and it became the garden of my grandparents, where I had spent many a happy afternoon in my childhood.

“It’s home, my true home.” I flopped down in the grass. Touching it, feeling that I was truly here.

“Why did you call me?”

Turning my head sideways to look at her, I saw that her paw was almost the size of my head, she was huge.

“Where are you? Let’s meet again. In reality.”

She studied me with her gaze. For a moment, I thought she would refuse.

“I am in the forest.”

“Can we meet on the edge of the forest, where the Dual River is? On the same side where we once met before.”

“Very well. Bring me food, an offering worthy of my time.”

As I floated away in the grass of home, I felt content. Inparem and I would be fine. With the fur from the bear, we could start a new life. We wouldn’t even have to enter the forest.

***

“We have to plan this perfectly. This is dangerous.” Inparem said, as we headed towards the meeting place. We had packed everything we wanted to take with us to Lascus. After killing the bear, we would head there directly. I tried not to think of what would happen if we didn’t succeed. Awake, my dreams seemed distant. I was nervous that I was setting us up for failure. We needed this, after the murdering of the village. Perhaps there wouldn’t even be a bear. Or worse, what if there would be? That would mean that the dreams were true, and Ursula was sentient. I didn’t voice that aloud. It would be good if it worked, I reassured myself. It was a fast way to make money, without making contact with people until we sold the fur in Lascus. It was the best way. A bear is only an animal.

At least, that is what Inparem believed. The more time passed, the more doubts I was having. Especially when I saw the bunch of sharpened sticks and dagger he had. I almost asked if that was all he had, but caught myself and rephrased.

“Are those the weapons we will use?

He saw right through me. “Yes, it is not much. But I have hunted dangerous animals with them before.”

“Do you have a plan in mind?”

“Yes. Usually we would need a rope trap to keep the animal from running, and a place where we will be safe, like on a tree. But bears can climb too, and only chains would be strong enough to trap it. I think the best would be if I kill it in one blow.”

“How would you do that?”

“The most vulnerable spot is the neck, if I could stab it there. I would just need to jump away far and quickly enough until it bleeds out.”

I saw a million and one ways that could go wrong, and I knew Inparem did too. I tried to think of how it could be done in a safer way. “Maybe you could jump down from a tree to do that? That way you could catch it by surprise. With the momentum from your jump, you could probably stab deeper too.”

“That could work, but how would we maneuver the bear under the tree?”

“I could tempt it, with some food.”

“That is too dangerous.”

“It is no less dangerous than you jumping down a tree to stab a bear.” I was right and he knew it.

“What if you don’t succeed? What if the bear goes after you?”

“Then I climb up to you and we throw the sharpened sticks down at it.” If that would happen we would probably both die, unless the bear decided to leave. I had a bad feeling about this. “Are you sure about this?”

“No, but think of how much better our life could be with this. We could start a business, or if we are careful, we could live off the money for years. This could be our salvation.”

We stewed in silence after that, each with our doubts and hopes hanging over our heads, until we reached the edge of the forest, where the Dual River weaved its way in.

That night, there was no bear. The next day was full of nervous energy. Inparem was high up on a tree, makeshift spear in hand, while I paced back and forth under. In my basket was bread and an assortment of fruit as well as herbs.

Hour after hour passed. At first it was torturous. I paced back and forth, tension building up in me. But then as more time passed, the happier I was. The bear wasn’t coming. It had not been a true-dream. And I would not be killing Ursula.

We could sell the necklace. The time Matre and I spent together was the true testament to our relationship, not a material object. Besides, could it really be more dangerous to sell it than it was to attack a bear?

As I was formulating my thoughts, and thinking how I could phrase my arguments. I felt a shadow pass over me. Looking up, I saw her. There had been no need to show her the food or maneuver her under the tree. She had come to me of her own violation. I knew her eyes, I knew it was her. She was sentient. The dreams had been real. I opened my mouth to shout, to stop this before it was too late, but before I could, there was another shout. It was Inparem, striking down from above.

Blood sprayed on my face. He was crouching on her back. He had stabbed her, and taken the dagger back out. Ursula roared, with unexpected flexibility, her head turned and bit his shoulder, shaking him. I had not moved, frozen until the shaking started. I backed away, but her paw reached out and sliced at me. I felt a distant burning on my chest. Inparems head flopped back and forth, his body in her mouth. His neck was broken. The wide eyed stare of the dead that I had only seen before in movies, was staring at me.

A movie. Yesterday and today, that’s what it felt like, as his eyes stared at me and the same feeling of horror enveloped me. Like being in a movie. Inparem had loved me, he had risked his life for us, for a better life together. He was dead. Had I even loved him? I knew the answer to that now, I knew it by the pain in my heart. A pain so strong, it physically felt like my heart was being split. I vowed to treasure his memory as long as I lived. As Ursula turned towards me, throwing Inparem’s body to the ground, I knew it would not be very long. Her eyes spoke as clearly as if she had spoken with her voice. Betrayal they said. Humans. But when she did speak, that isn’t what she said.

“We could have been bonded. There was something special building between us.” She bowed her head. “A bond between us, bear and human, would have been something the world has not seen for centuries.” The blood from her neck wound was dripping slowly, starting to congeal on the top. “If we ever meet again, here or in dreams, I will kill you.”

She walked away, as regal as she had the first time we had met. Slowly, and without pause. At least she would survive, I thought, as she walked away. At least we hadn’t killed her. There is more to this world than we know, evident by my own mysterious arrival in it. Ursula was sentient. Animals could be sentient.

Through the blur of my tears, I could see Inparem’s body was splayed on the ground. I went to stand, to walk towards him, crying. When had I sat down? But as I made to get up I couldn’t. My knees buckled and the burning sensation on my chest that had been far off came back with a vengeance. Inparem, perhaps we would die together was my last thought, before I slipped into unconsciousness.