《Phenomena the Basic Witch and the Evil Book of Love》Epilogue: You Can Bet Your Zowie On It
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As cardboard cut-outs of Fabias, the mental notes, various stray pieces of paper and other sleazy Love Ink memorabilia got sucked through the Quantum Quandary, Bubbel merely laughed. She was on the verge of being beaten to a pulp by Stellaris, but when the void began to suck, she merely smiled and chanted.
“Magic won’t you be nice-ycle and give us a three-seater bicycle.”
A long black and green three-seater appeared and Bubbel, Toila and Karen all hopped on. As Stellaris reached them, they started peddling and the bike lifted miraculously into the sky. “So long dearies,” Bubbel cackled, “We’re finally going home to the Nightmare Void, which will soon be your home too.”
Bubbel turned to her cohorts. “On three girls…one…two…three…”
They all started singing “Tra-la-la-la-la…la la,” in mocking fashion as they peddled their way into the portal. They disappeared with a poof leaving everyone to run as hard as they could to escape the pull of the void.
“Gemini…” Caligari bemoaned as she wept over her love interest being devoured by the Quandary.
“Come on,” Nebula grunted and as she swept up the skinny professor. “He would not want you to be eaten too.”
“Sis,” Stellaris smiled as together they ran towards the door. “That’s the nicest thing you’ve ever told anyone.”
Nebula sobbed. “All this adrenaline is making me sentimental…”
Mena and her friends ran—or flew in May’s case—towards the exit too. Mena scooped up Penwell’s book. The author cried from her book cover, “My rough drafts. I should have stored them elsewhere!”
“Ah, the ultimate tragedy of being an author,” Janus winked as they hustled out.
Reached the lobby together, the professors and students slammed the door on the swirling vortex, but they didn’t have time to relax. The Quandary tore the door straight off and sucked it up. They charged through the lobby and leaped down the stairs of the buildings front entrance. The anchor of the Dream Castle awaited them on the side street, but they had to hurry. The red void had already devoured the entire building and only the stairs were left standing.
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“At least I don’t have to pay my mortgage,” Penwell said as everyone hopped onto the anchor.
“Wuh-what about me?” May cried from her magi-char.”
“Jump !” Mena and Janus shouted and extended their arms. The red void grew closer to swallowing them, but at the last second, May leaped and was caught by her friends. The magi-chair was sucked into oblivion. The students and teachers of Nightdream would have followed, but at the last second, Stellaris snapped and the anchor shot into the sky. Everyone watched om terror as the red void swelled, inhaling buildings like a hungry glutton.
“Wait a minute…”—May stifled a gasp—“My mummies down there.”
May sobbed loudly as she watched the whole building of her mom’s convenient store sucked into the ever expanding vortex. But there was nothing they could do.
They reached the courtyard of the Dream Castle and watched the Quantum Quandary eviscerate all of Wormwood. Caligari and May both cried in lament over the seemingly fallen.
“We can’t relax now,” Stellaris said and pointed at the Quandary. It had continued to expand, terrorizing the rest of the planet.
“Everyone inside!” she said, “We’re going to Dula before the Quandary takes over all of Autolycus.”
Everyone hustled to the ground entrance of Nightdream. Mena noticed the enormous doomsday clock chiming inside the castle. The hands had grown close to meeting—that would be the end of times, as Mena remembered Gemini telling her. Or more exactly, the end of the dream.
Mena ran to the windows, peering through them. The red void continued to give chase until they spiraled farther and farther from the planet. Clear blue sky gave way to a nightfall speckled with white diamonds. They were now up in space with the pink interplanetary system of Dula that governed Autolycus.
Mena returned to her friends. Everyone was too shocked or sobbing from what had transpired to speak. The weariness in their faces told Mena the sad truth—Anguish had won this round. She now had the whole planet in her grasp.
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May was the first to speak. “I miss my mummy already. I hope she’s alright….” She began to make gasping sounds before wailing loudly.
“Gemmy too,” Caligari said, inching the tears away from her eyes. “I will never forget the sacrifice he made for us.”
Mena held both her friends. She knew her touch could comfort them easier than words.
There was a high pitched static sound from the Ladybug Transistor embedded over the front stairwell. It sounded like the fine-tuned whistling of a bird. There was a puff of purple smoke and Gemini’s head appeared, broadcasted out of the transistor.
“This is the Clown Prince of Dreams broadcasting live from the deepest recesses of the Nightmare Void.”
“Gemini!” everyone exclaimed.
“But how…” Caligari murmured. “I thought you were eaten.”
“Nah,” Gemini’s head chuckled. “Nobody immediately dies in the Nightmare Void. Everyone who was sucked in will be forced to live out their worst nightmares, but like some bloody parasite, we won’t be killed at first.”
May let out a small sigh of relief.
Gemini gave a head nod. “I’m hiding out so I can inform cute little witchy poo on her mission from here on out.”
Mena made her way to the forefront.
Gemini looked at Mena earnestly. “If we are to stay one step A-HEAD of Anguish…”
Gemini paused waiting for laughs. Only Caligari chuckled weakly.
“Sorry,” Gemini said, “I must keep my head on my shoulders…Ahem, if we are to stay one step ahead of Anguish we need those Dream Heels. Mena if you will…”
Gemini gestured with his head over at the window. Mena stepped over to it and observed. The once blue and green planet of Autolycus had turned black and red with a demonic yellow eye gazing at the center of it.
“This dream has already become a nightmare,” the headmaster said. “And it’s heading for Dula next.”
Mena frowned as she looked over the fantasy world in the sky. She recognized several familiar locations, including New Brushwick, the Imagicnation Kingdom, the Pink Sea of Brain Stems, the Jungle of the Subconcious and the Mind Mountains. All places she had never ventured before, except for New Brushwick.
“If we are to prevent Anguish from corrupting those locations too,” Gemini said. “We need those Dream Heels. With them we can reverse what Anguish has done. This world will not truly end.”
“The heels,” Gemini continued, “are hidden someplace in Dula, and they can only be found with the help of three sages.”
Gemini’s head bobbed up and down. “Like most characters from low budget fairy tales, these sages are people of great virtue:
Someone brimming with courage…
Someone with a twenty-five-caret heart of gold
And someone with a bucketful of brains….”
But…” Mena squeaked. “Who are they?”
Gemini rolled his eyes. “Heck if I know. It’s not like my head’s got em on speed dial. But anyway…Mena”—Gemini made direct eye contact with the young witch—“Are you ready to complete your true task as Dream Ambassador and save all these worlds?”
Mena swallowed hard. Now knowing her true destiny and why she was selected was a heavy burden. But she looked around her. Gemini, May, Janus, Caligari, Stellaris and Nebula all beamed with reaffirming smiles. Even May rubbed the tears from her eyes and nodded. Mena knew she could do it.
She pumped her fist in the air. “You can bet your zowie on it!”
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