《Phenomena the Basic Witch and the Evil Book of Love》Chapter Twenty-Two: The Sky Train
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The following weeks, indeed, dragged on for Mena. Everything dragged, from Nebula’s grueling gym experience where no one was guaranteed to come back alive, to Stellaris, who was stilling giving everyone the cold shoulder to the fact that Caligari was out-of-action due to her incident in the stables. They had hired a substitute teacher--chosen from the Lollypop Teacher’s Union--but while everyone else was relieved to have a less intense teacher than Caligari, Mena still missed the unibrowed phantom professor who had really made a sacrifice for her.
All the while, Mena was still recuperating from her terrible experience. There were many opportunities in her life where she wished she could write something different about herself, like that she would survive Nebula’s class and become a star athlete, or that Stellaris would automatically like her again, but she couldn’t. And though the Mal-Essence was pumped out of her body, her fingers still twitched like she wanted to write something in the Marisou again.
Still, the weeks fell, one by one, and one dull morning in the dining hall, a member of the Lollypop Delivery Service arrived at Mena and her friends’ cloud table. Sporting a pair of fluffy tiny wings, a scarlet post-man’s hat and a chain-smoker’s voice, the postman grunted, “Letter for Maylene Cumberson.”
May frowned. “Oh, how I hope it’s not my mummy reminding me about my fall eczema.”
As May ran her fingers through the top of the envelop, Janus gave a dreamy smile and sang, “I don’t need my seer powers to know what’s in there. I don’t think we’re going to be hearing about May’s dermal problems, that’s for sure.”
May read the letter, first timidly but soon with great excitement when she realized what it was, “We, on the behalf of Book Of Love Publishing Co. hereby accept Maylene Cumberson into Melina Penwell’s Young Romantics of the Future Society. Please travel to Wormwood in the coming days for your all expense paid seminars from Melina Penwell. Soon you will be able to pen as well as her namesake, and with her proper guidance, one lucky writer will be chosen to imprint their own dreams into their own romantic fiction.”
As if overcome by an inopportune asthma attack, May started breathing heavily and her glasses fogged up. “Oh mummy, somebody pinch me…OWCH!” May cried as Janus pulled her fingers away from May’s arm.
Mena smiled at May’s newfound success, even if deep down she wished she was chosen, despite everything that had happened. Regardless, she patted her hyperventilating friend on the back. Janus added, “Now all we need to do is find a way to go to…Speak of the reaper!”
Stellaris, Gemini, and Nebula all stood high on their clouds. Gemini unleashed a hail of rainbow sparks from his sleeves that exploded into a neon banner. It read: “We Care A Lot About Groundborns.”
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“Attention all teenyboppers,” Gemini announced as he surveyed the many cloud tables floating in the dining hall. “As Septober break begins--turning the planet’s leaves to orange and making girls your age drink spice lattes for whatever reason--we would like to announce the winner of the WCAL Groundborn Assistance program.”
“Normally,” Gemini said, casually tossing his hands. “We’d have a grand old time tallying up the highest points, but one of you eggs was so unbelievably good at rescuing Groundborns that we didn’t even have to bother. So, thank you, Ashlan O’Ryan for freeing up my time so I can go to the spa after this.”
Stellaris smiled brightly and produced a golden slip of paper. “Come on up, Ashlan and accept your golden ticket to the celebrity sky train.”
Ashlan immediately floated up on her cloud, her face beaming and glowing at the same time. “Usually,” Ashlan said, her eyes closed as she accepted the golden ticket. “People thank the academy. But I’d like to thank myself for my intelligence, compassion, strength, and… modesty.”
“Where?” Janus peeped up with her usual sarcasm.
Ashlan ignored her. “I’ve asked the headmaster if I could prepare an acceptance speech for when I embark to Wormwood and engage with the fine hoi polloi.”
Gemini put his gloved hand around Ashlan and Stellaris’ shoulders. “Students are welcome to join us as we send Ms. O’Ryan off to indeed engage with the hoi polloi, whatever that means.”
“And yes,” Ashlan glowered. “Everyone is welcome. Even frienememies, cadavers and cumquats.”
Mena shrugged her shoulders and gave a futile glance to her friends. “Well, there’s no stopping her. What do we have to lose?”
***
Since there was no rainborn teacher, the Rainbow Tower of the Dream Castle was used like a docking bay. There were two towering, arch-way entrances carved into both sides of the tower to allow for flying horse-crawn carriages to fly inside. A rainbow road traveled through it—the trestles for the sky train. Everyone gathered on the platform, excitedly waiting for it to pass through. The autumn wind blew in the high altitude, bristling everyone’s one’s robes, and with a loud toot-toot, Mena witnessed one of the most fantastical sights she had ever seen. And it even stood up to the incredulous sights of a towering, posh golem, a floating sky-castle and Caligari’s nice side.
Traveling across the rainbow track was a sleek bullet shaped train. It was glossy and neon, framed with golden and blasting out multi-colored fumes from its interior engine. “Apparently, this train runs on imagicnation,” Mena heard one of the girls mutter to her friend.
“Wowie zowie!” Mena exclaimed, doing a twirl from sheer excitement. “This really is a real Train-bow.”
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Suddenly, it hit Mena and she looked away. “A shame I didn’t win. I really would love to be on it.”
A daffy and lisping old man’s voice filled the air. “Everyone is a winner and a trainbow in my world!”
A short wizardly, old man with rainbow swirling glasses did cartwheels out of the train, a colorful cape trailing behind him. He pointed directly at Ashlan. “And a winner is you!”
Ashlan took a step back over this strange man, but Gemini walked over to greet him. “Well, hey there,” Archibald said, laughing at the man and his perpetually changing glasses. “It’s the previous headmaster, Roy G. Bivion. What brings you back to this plane of existence?”
The short man gave a toothy grin, “That’s head-trippin-masta. And I’ve been moon-shinin’ a gig on the this side of the realm: I’m a sky train conductor.”
“Going by the number of pharmaceuticals he’s probably on,” Janus said, giggling. “Not sure if that’s legal.”
Roy G Bivion lowered his spiraling rainbow glasses to reveal squinty but equally shining eyes. “Normally, I’d be taking this train journey to the center of my mind, but for this winner, we are going straight to the lap of luxury in West Wormwood.”
Ashlan looked speechless, before Roy G. Bivion added, “And that’s not all. The winner that is you will be waited on hand and foot by my handsome cabin boys.”
Roy raised his hand to call them in his lisping voice. “Oh boyth.”
Two tall young men with clean cut faces and broad shoulders stood at Roy G. Bivion’s side. Dressed in tuxedo vests, they cracked their strong, pliable but smooth hands. Mena’s heart entered her mouth and her sight. “Hubba hubba,” she said, clamoring over them, “They can massage my ego any day, even if it’s not as big as it used to be.”
Ashlan didn’t look impressed, instead she turned to Gemini. “My acceptance speech if you please.”
“Oh right,” Gemini said, clapping his hands. “But cut it quick so I can get some spa action myself.”
“It will be…” Ashlan said and pointed a hand to her head. “I’ve already committed my speech to heart with my finest dream memory techniques.”
Ashlan cleared her throat and opened her mouth lined with teeth and fangs. She closed her eyes and began to speak in a stuffy, and somewhat pompous voice. “In this truly momentous opportunity, we, the folk who reside in a floating castle, were allowed to witness the true plight of the magic users on the ground. We watched as young girls and boys were captured by a magic fearing king and not only did we watch”—Ashlan opened her eyes of brilliant emerald green—“We had the chance to do something about it.”
There were hoots and cheers from the crowd, though Mena realized the Tessellation Twins were looking away and making raspberries.
“That is why,” Ashlan said, with a self-confident smirk spurred on by the cheering crowd. “I’ve decided that, rather than accept this golden ticket and spend some time in the gilded lap of luxury, I would rather donate my ticket to a less fortunate soul—a groundborn.”
Mena did a double gulp like there was a loogie jammed in her throat. A groundborn? But who?
Ashlan, with a wiggle of her bushy eyebrows and a smile began to parade through the crowd, and where she stopped, even Mena was amazed. Ashlan gallantly handed her ticket to May in her magi-chair. “This rather sad specimen looks like she could use a Septober vacation, the brisk wind of autumn in her hair and two handsome men massaging her feet.”
May snorted loudly. “Would I ever!”
“Then go,” Ashlan said, and dramatically directed her hand towards the train. “Go, you tormented soul. Head to the land of bliss and backrubs.”
Mena thought the Tessellation Twins would have to pick their jaws off the ground in case any bugs crawled in.
As May gleefully floated in her magi-chair up towards the platform, Ashlan coyly winked at Mena. “Don’t claim I don’t do anything for ya, Rainy.”
As May boarded the train and everyone screamed and stomped their feet over Ashlan. She bowed. “What can I do?” Ashlan said, relaxing her eyes with her hands on her hips. “I’m such a noble beast.”
“All aboard… for complete ecstasy?” Roy G. Bivion asked and flipped into the conductor’s cockpit. He blew the horn and everyone waved as May departed along the rainbow road, heading off to the magical city in the sky.
As the train faded into the deep blue of the sky, Janus rested her head in her hands dreamily. “How lovely,” she sighed. “I hope May sends us a postcard.”
Mena’s mouth spread into an uneven but shiny grin. “Don’t worry about that, Janus,” she said, with a wink. “We’re going too.”
Janus’ eyes widened in her skull. “We are? But how.”
Mena rubbed her hands together. “I know someone who’d take us… for a few rainbow sugar cubes.”
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