《Phenomena the Basic Witch and the Evil Book of Love》Chapter Six: The Nebulous Professor Nebula

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After tossing and turning all night, Mena woke up four hours later. She frowned as Janus called out lightly, “Wakey wakey! Gemini’s got a special announcement this morning.”

Mena sighed and pulled the pillow over her head. “Must the weekend be over already? I’m going to need a lot of therapy before I feel better.”

May and Janus gave her empathetic frowns, and May responded gently, “You can talk to the Lollypop Counseling Service lady, but her room always smells fruitcake and broken dreams.”

“Broken dreams actually smell like something?” Mena asked, before Janus added,

“In the Dream Castle, they do,” and she held up a brown, rotting dream and chucked it into the Dream Deposit. The sharp smell of diced onions lingered through the air, causing Mena’s eyes to water.

“I’ll pass,” Mena said, rubbing her eyes and getting up to face the day.

**

Mena dragged herself to the dining hall with her friends. The billowing grey clouds outside the arched glass window hadn’t ceased, and heavy winds buffeted the windows at great speed. Crackles and crashes of thunder and lightening echoed in the distance. It was the perfect tempest for Mena’s dour mood. Even the silver cloud machine was pumping out black stormy clouds, and a member of the Lollypop Maintenance was warning people to stand up if they hear a crackle beneath their rear.

“Your toast won’t be the only thing burning this morning,” he said with a high giggle.

“Great,” Mena said, as she hung her head low. “That won’t be the only thing to rain on my parade…Eek…”

She let out a high-pitched scream as a storm cloud zoomed above her and poured down on Mena and her friends.

“Now zat,” Laetitia, the silver haired Bourgelf cackled, along with her dark-haired sister Marie and more surprisingly, Ashlan. “Eez wat a truly wet parade of freaks looks like.”

Janus, looking like a wet gothic raccoon with her heavy eye makeup running, raised a fist at the snooty trio. “I foresee an unfortunate end for you three, and it will be of my own doing.”

She whipped out her pink scythe causing Mena and May to duck and the trio to zoom off laughing. “Wow,” May said, “I never see Janus angry, they really crossed her.”

“If I wore that much eyeliner,” Mena said with a tired smile. “I’d murder them too. But what gives? Why is Ashlan being mean to us?”

“Isn’t that her job?” May asked, and Mena put her hands in her pockets as she shivered. They had gone on an adventure together with Janus. Why was she being so fickle?

After the three had dried off, they took to the skies in a dark cloud of their own. Eating toast and sweetmeat, Mena tried to get her mind off the dreadful day.

“What’s Gemini going to talk to us about this time?” Mena asked, changing the subject. “Once he’s finished, I’m going to start writing my first chapter.”

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“You’re not even going to plan first?” May asked. “My mummy said, ‘a planned outing always prepares you for the unexpected surprises!’”

Mena held up her hand and let it drop forward. “Surprises are what readers like best in books. And I’m going to make sure my story is chock full of em…”

There was a loud throat clearing that echoed around the room, silencing nearly everyone in its wake.

“Students of Nightdream Academy,” Gemini proclaimed, his voice bouncing off the walls in a similar manner.

Much to Mena’s surprise, Gemini was dressed entirely in black as he stood on his towering throne cloud. His hair swooped over his eyes, and he wore a black and red velvet cap. The last time she had seem him like that was when he was in a brooding mood, unknowingly possessed by the Phantom Lord. But now, he seemed to be wearing it in honor of Deidre. “I hope a little rain isn’t bringing you kiddies down,” he said, and lifted both sides of his cape. “Because we’ve got several announcements that will brighten your miserable lives.”

“First up,” Gemini said with a swoosh revealed a mysteriously garbed figure sitting on the cloud beside him. “As you may have unfortunately learned, our Magic Home Ec. teacher turned out to be a witch. And you may ask yourself, what’s wrong with being a witch in a magic school? Well, this witch was a green and more importantly,”—Gemini held out hands twiddling them up and down—"EVAAALL.”

Gemini seemed to expect everyone to be horrified, but they sat in silence. This seemed to be business as usual in Nightdream Academy.

“Oh,” Gemini said quickly, “Also our P.E. teacher resigned. He cited a hostile work environment where some of our teachers turn out to be evil or something.”

“Good,” May said with a round smile. “All he did was float magically in the air while we ran laps around the gym.”

“And now,” Gemini said, and the garbed figure tossed off her robe. “We truly have someone who reaps the benefits of a good physical education.”

Everyone gasped at the hulking woman before them. Much to their surprise, she resembled Stellaris, but with much broader shoulders, enormous biceps, and a thick eight pack the size of Mena’s whole frame. The signature white-blond hair spiked up on the top of her head and her wide jaw grinned as everyone marveled at her bod, clad tightly in a green and blue skin-tight outfit.

“I present to you:” Gemini announced, “Princess Nebula of the Andromeda royal lineage and sister of our Dream Divination teacher, Stellaris.”

There was a bunch of wide-eyed stares followed by cheers of awe and applause. Everyone looked excited but Stellaris, who sat on her cloud with her legs and arms crossed.

“Let me ask you,” Nebula demanded, her voice deep, raspy yet boastful. “Have any of you squirts road bareback on Unicornea before? Have you sucked a raw liccan egg after a vigorous workout? Have any of you really worked it TO THE MAX AND A THREE QUARTERS?”

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There were a couple of confused head shakes.

“Well, get ready for it,” Nebula growled, “Because working it to the max and three quarters ain’t good enough for me. You’ll be working it so hard; it’ll feel like you aren’t doing anything at all because your legs are so numb—”—Nebula flexed her muscles, which shined like brown rotisserie lichen breasts—"You’ll all get mega-muscles in places you never thought you could grow em, baby.”

Mena nervously sweated, she looked at May, who laughed, “At least I’m out for this semester.”

“Even the headmaster here looks like he could use some push-ups,” Nebula took her hand and whacked Gemini so hard on the back, bits of his toast went flying out and hit a member of the Lollypop Clean-Up Crew in the head.

“Or throw-ups in this case,” Gemini said laughing nervously. “I bet you’re wondering what the other spicy and dramatic announcement we have is. Well, it’s a two-part announcement, and I’ll get the interesting part out of the way first.”

Gemini placed his hands on his sides and smiled.

“Groundborn Rescues is now an extra-curricular activity for all upperclassmen…”—Gemini added a wink. “Rainborns too!”

Mena nervously looked up at Gemini. Groundborn Rescues, she thought.

“All students in their second, third and fourth year at the Academy can use their advanced Dream Arts on the ground to help our less fortunate magical compatriots.”

A sense of urgency came over Gemini’s face, displacing his levity. “We’ve just received word that the bad king Budaludicus is doubling his effort to seek out those magic folks and imprison them.”

Professor Stellaris stood up, her blond spiked hair matching Gemini’s curly hair in height. “Our first mission starts today…Remember, it’s voluntary for everyone…” Stellaris pointed at Mena and winked—"Except Mena. Where it’s mandatory.”

“Oh no,” Mena thought, realizing her whole day was going to be used up. “Saving Groundborns is well and good, but May’s going to get the jump on me…”

The other students chatted with each other; many were not interested in risking their necks. This was especially apparent with the blue blooded Bougelves and Ashlan.

“Elp, the Groundborns?” Laetitia asked. “What ‘ave they done for us?”

“You can count us out,” Marie said, and she glanced at Aslan. “Right Ash?”

Ashlan put her lion nose up in the air… after glancing at the two elves for approval. Of course. “Those peasants would never help us…not in a million years.”

“Now, for the boring part,” Gemini said. “Otherwise known as the incentive.”

In the dullest tone he could muster Gemini droned on.

“Esteemed author Melina Penwell and other Wormwood elites are sponsoring these Groundborn Rescues with a program they call WCAL, We Care A Lot (About Groundborns). For the student who saves the most Groundborns, they will get an all-expense paid trip to Wormwood.”

Suddenly, the demeanor shifted in the room from hesitant to starstruck; everyone started talking excitedly to each other. Wouldn’t it be nice to have their names up in ever-lasting cauldron bubbles? Gemini grinned with amusement at his fellow teachers.

“I’m sure that I’ve cleverly involved celebrities and glamor,” Gemini announced, “You will all be lining up to do your good for magical humanity. We will be meeting at the Sun Tower after breakfast! Professors and soul sisters Stellaris and Nebula will be hosting the briefing.”

The room was bustling with conversation after Gemini gave a humble bow and returned to his purple kale breakfast.

Janus rested her head in her hands and gave a knowing smile. “Looks like you witches have a way of getting to Wormwood… if you win that is.”

Mena pumped both her fists in the air.

“I’ll do both. I’ll rescue those Groundborns and become the greatest magic romance author too...”—and Mena turned to May and Janus and gave a small smile”—“I’ll do it for Deidre too.”

**

Mena climbed the flight of stairs to the Sun Tower. Mena wasn’t surprised to find the outside of the room crowded with many students, but only one truly managed to surprise her.

A girl with a blond mane of hair and sun spangled robes stood with her back facing Mena.

“Ashlan!” Mena exclaimed; her eyes bugging out. “What are you doing here?”

Ashlan jumped from hearing Mena’s voice, but Mena continued to probe as her. “Why are you helping these ‘peasants?’”

Defensively, Ashlan raised her paws when, suddenly, a look of confidence overtook her. She spoke haughtily.

“Rainy, I’m not going to let the likes of you get all the glory. Gemini may favor you enough to make this mandatory for you, but I’m the future valor sorceress; and that means I’m going to do whatever it takes to maintain that position.”

Mena’s blood boiled. Even she knew the lives of Groundborns should never be trivialized. “I knew this was for some narcissistic reason,” Mena said, pointing at Ashlan. “You don’t actually care Groundborns and their plight.”

“I heard you, Rainy,” Ashlan said, her hands on her hips. “You want to meet that stupid romance novel author. I wouldn’t act so high and mighty when you’ve got an ulterior motive too.”

A blast of invisible electricity surged between the eyes of Mena and her ex-roommate. It wasn’t always like this, but now Mena loathed Ashlan and her prideful intentions. Not only was she going to better May at writing, Mena was going to save the most Groundborns and rub it in Ashlan’s triangular-lion nose.

When the door opened and Professor Stellaris allowed everyone inside, her time had come. Mena was ready to take on both her writing and fighting rivals at once.

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