Ever since the talk that Ashley and I had on Sunday, I admit that I have been in a much better mood. I’m not entirely sure if I should be, given that we are doing something that, by all accounts, seems extremely risky… But somehow, the knowledge that she is still there for me, and that we are officially together, no longer needing to filter ourselves, is very comforting. It’s like a warm bubble that I carry around with me in my heart… one that helps keep me going through all of my fears and anxieties… all of those are still there, lurking in the background, but…

“Hey Zoe! Can I ask you something?”

I jolt unconsciously. I had been so lost in thought as I made my way to band rehearsal that I had stopped paying attention to my surroundings.

I turn around, and see who it is who’s speaking to me; Mason Wallace. Mason is the best trombone player in our year, and one of the few freshmen to make Symphonic Band along with Ashley and I. I’m surprised that he’s talking to me, we do not have any particular relationship. He looks nervous about something; what’s going on?

“Hey… um…” he begins in a stutter. “How’d you like to go to Homecoming with me?”

I immediately am forced to process a complex web of different emotions.

The Homecoming Dance is not for another month. Asking me now is a very odd move, given that the Dance is not yet on the forefront of the collective consciousness of the school. No, no I don’t want to go with him. Like I said before, I do not have any particular friendship or anything with him, and in fact he can sometimes be kind of annoying. In addition, given that I am secretly in a relationship with Ashley, going to the Dance with anyone at all could be seen as a dishonest move by her. Especially if that someone was the boy which she has a notorious rivalry with. Still, though, it’s not as if I can just tell him any of this. How should I explain my answer? I need to think of some excuse, quickly now… Everyone is staring at both of us right now and I’m extremely embarrassed. I have to use the restroom.

“Oh… welll… um… I, uh… I’malreadygoingwithsomeone.”

Why did I say that? That’s a bad lie. As I previously mentioned, the dance is a month off. Who else would have already asked me?

Mason looks annoyed for a second, but then he recovers and looks at me curiously. “Oh really? Who is it?”

Uh-oh. He’s going to call my bluff.

“I, um, It’s a secret,” I say stupidly, that being all I can think of.

“It’s okay you can tell me,” Mason says slyly, moving slightly closer. “Are you hiding something?”

But then, I hear a different voice from down the hall, speaking softly, but scathing and clearly discernible: “She already said no, dipshit. Don’t you take a hint?”

I turn and am flooded with relief to see Ashley coming towards us. The students around us begin chattering at her appearance, but she pays no attention, and looks (as usual) as if she’s bored with the proceedings.

When Mason sees her, his expression turns into a sneer. “I’m allowed to ask someone a question, am I? Or is there a new royal proclamation against that?”

“You’re acting like an entitled little bitch, and you’re heckling her,” Ashley comments bluntly. Mason goes a bit red in the face, but doesn’t seem to be able to think of a comeback. Ashley lightly puts her hand on my shoulder and leads me away to the band hall.

I feel incredibly grateful for her. One of the things that I truly love about Ashley is that she’s just the kind of person who can get me out of awkward situations like that.

Still, there is one thing that troubles me. I can’t turn around and go to the restroom now, as that would make things even more awkward. So, I’m going to have to hold it throughout the whole period again.

Sitting down for lunch, it feels remarkably as though I have just sat down during the middle of a police ambush. Ashley and Anja both look unusually serious. Well, to be more accurate, Anja looks unusually serious, and Ashley looks the same as usual.

“Hi guys,” I say timidly, afraid of breaking the mood. “What’s up?”

“You’ll find out in a minute,” Ashley explains.

“You’re okay with letting her in on this?” Anja asks her, looking at me cautiously.

“We can trust her,” Ashley assures her.

I don’t have a clue what they are talking about. Maybe they’re talking about Ashley and I’s relationship? Somehow, I don’t think so. The way they’re wording it doesn’t make it sound like that.

When Nova comes over to the table, Ashley begins before he even has a chance to sit down.

“Nova. Before you pull out your DS, we need to discuss something important.”

“It’s a 3DS,” Nova replies, looking annoyed with her.

“Whatever,” Ashley says back. “Anja, do you want to do the honors?”

Anja looks down at the table solemnly. “Well… I’ve been talking with Ashley, and I think we’ve found a way to... fight back.”

“Fight back against what?”

“Against Pavia,” Anja explains.

I gasp. “You mean the Justice of the Peace?”

“Yeah, allegedly,” Ashley says.

Nova glares at her. “Did you… what did you tell her?”

“I know the basics,” Ashley interjects quickly. “But I wanted to hear most of it from you. I need an idea of how serious the situation is.”

“And why should I tell you anything?” Nova protests, shooting a betrayed look at Anja.

“Nova, you have to trust me,” Anja tells him, speaking as gingerly as she did when we talked in the practice room last week. “I wouldn’t have done what I did… except I really think we have a fighting chance here. We can change his heart.”

Change his heart? It’s really unclear what their plan is at this point. Perhaps they are going to send the Justice a strongly worded letter?

Nova looks despondent. He’s now just staring off into space, drumming his fingers on the table subconsciously. Something about the look in his eyes looks familiar to me… I’m not sure what moves me to do it, but I start talking.

“I know that we don’t know each other very well,” I begin, “but you can tell us whatever is going on with you. If there’s any way we can help... we will.”

For a moment, he doesn’t react to what I said in any way. However, after a few seconds, he begins talking.

“So, let me get this straight,” Ashley says after Nova is done explaining. “Pavia’s going to give custody of you and your sister back to your mom, because… why?”

“Because he’s a prick!” Nova spits, his face contorted with fury over the tale he just recounted. This whole time his eyes have been seemingly fixed down on the table, away from everyone’s.

“Ah. Well, thank you Nova, that clears up everything.”

“He must have some sort of legal argument,” Anja cuts in. “Didn’t you say something to me earlier about him not liking your dad?”

“He thinks that my mom would be a better caretaker because she has more money, ” Nova explains, sneering while saying those words. “My dad works two jobs to care for us and pay for our shitty apartment.”

I gasp subconsciously. I always thought that this town was a fairly wealthy one, so it never occurred to me that there were people here who struggled just to get by. Nova finally looks up from the table and momentarily makes eye contact with me, giving me an odd, blank look.

“It sounds like he might think he’s doing the right thing, then,” Ashley comments, almost more to herself than to anyone else.

Nova shook his head, his eyes returning downward. “We’ve told him about the way my mom acts; how she throws things at people when she gets back and insults us. My dad’s talked about it, I’ve talked about it, even Kat has come in to talk about it; but he believes my mom over all of us.”

Ashley looks deep in thought; it’s like she’s trying to solve a complicated math problem in her head.

“Well, we can’t talk about it much in here, because it’s top secret,” Anja explains, “but Ashley and I might just know a way to help you out of this.”

“Top secret?” I ask, perplexed. “You guys aren’t going to do something illegal, are you?”

“Hmm… actually, that’s a good point,” Anja admits, frowning. “Is this even technically legal?” Which is an answer I don’t find reassuring in the slightest.

“There’s no way the legal system would account for something like this,” Ashley reasons. “We just can’t talk about it at school because it’s kinda… out there.”

“Oh, you can say that again!” Anja agrees passionately.

At this point, I am very confused and also slightly concerned. I can’t think of anything that would warrant this kind of secrecy that they might do. We can change his heart… Change it how?

Nova doesn’t seem to be following the conversation; he’s just gone back to drumming his fingers on the table agitatedly.

After a few seconds of this, Ashley snaps, “Nova, would you cut that out?”

“Cut what out?” Nova replies, not looking at her.

“Well, you should explain what’s going on to Zoe too,” Anja comments absentmindedly, apparently oblivious to the exchange that just took place. “Now that she’s overheard our little talk, she’s in on all of this.”

“Yes, I realize that,” Ashley replies, looking at me. “I’ll fill you in on what’s going on whenever we get a chance to talk privately. But until then, just try and put it out of your mind.”

She must be able to tell how nervous I am about all of this. But how can I just put something like this out of my mind?

Apparently, I can’t at all, because it nags me throughout the entirety of World Geography. By the time I’m on my way to Biology, I’ve given up on trying to follow Ashley’s advice and am wildly speculating what the others are planning.

Ashley didn’t say it was legal , she said that there’s no way the legal system would account for something like this… what on earth could that be referring to? It sounds like something that has never been attempted before, or isn’t widely known about. Which means my chances of guessing what it is are pretty much zero. But that doesn’t stop me from trying. Maybe they’re going to do some sort of computer hacking job? I could see Ashley being smart enough to figure out something like that. Or maybe Anja knows some type of voodoo technique that can brainwash people? Oh goodness, I really hope it’s not that…

For the second time today, I’m so preoccupied with my private thoughts that I walk straight into an awkward situation. When I sit down at my table in Biology, Terra is smiling cooly and looking straight at me. Before I can begin mentally preparing myself for a conversation, she says “Hello Zoe. I wanted to check if you had any further thoughts on what we talked about before church.”

I sense that there’s something funny going on here, but I don’t have time to think about it. I instinctively look over at the others. Diana looks angry about something, and Yonca looks nervous. Neither of them seem to want to meet my eye. I wonder what they know about Terra’s suspicions.

“Oh. Well, uh…” To buy myself time to think, I lean over to ruffle through my backpack.

“I want to make sure you know that you can talk to me,” Terra says in what’s clearly supposed to be a soft, motherly voice. “If you’re being coerced, or… peer pressured, you can let me know.”

I guess there’s nothing to do except to tell the truth. Well, a part of it, anyway.

“Um… thanks, but no. I’m not being… pressured into anything.”

“Hmm. I see.” Terra replies, looking closely at me.

“If you’re… talking about Ashley, she would never… um, lead me onto any path that’s bad. Er, knowingly.”

“Are you sure?” Terra presses me. “Not even in a moment of weakness?”

“Uh… what?” I ask, not sure what she means.

“And what about that other girl?” Terra continues on. “Angie, I think her name was?”

“Her? Oh, uh, they’re just friends.”

The forced smile finally drops from Terra’s face. “That’s not what I meant. Although, that raises an interesting question: Why are they friends, anyway? What do they have in common?”

“Well, they’re both in band.”

“Yeah. I know that, thanks,” Terra says, clearly starting to get annoyed with me. “I mean, what do they talk about?”

I think back to all of the previous lunch periods we’ve had. “Um… Politics.”

“Politics,” Terra repeats flatly.

“Yeah, economics and stuff. You know like, how to get the… of course, it’s kind of over my head, it’s very…”

Terra is giving me an incredulous look, so I decide to drop the pretense. “Okay, look, they don’t have that much in common, but… Well, you know Anja’s not the most popular person around, so Ashley… is friends with her because she’s nice like that.”

I hear laughter to my side, and I turn to see that it’s Diana, who seems to be no longer able to resist joining in the conversation. “Because she’s nice like that. Are you kidding me? She may be nice to you , but, newsflash: she treats everyone else like garbage!”

“She’s right, Zoe; why the special treatment?” Terra asks me. “Are you sure you know her as well as you think you do?”

Thankfully, at this point I am once again saved by the beginning of class. I really wish that I hadn’t been so early to class today, as it resulted in my suffering being far more prolonged.

I have to admit, though, I have no clue how I would’ve responded to that last point. I always knew that Ashley can come off as a bit abrasive… why is she so nice to me?

Well, that’s obvious, isn’t it? She told me that she’s had a crush on me since we first met. And, looking back, it does seem like she’s never wanted much to do with my other friends. Back in early seventh grade when we were first becoming friends, she wouldn’t come up and talk to me unless I was by myself. I always assumed that she was being shy, but I guess she’s not quite the type for that. Was she jealous of them? Did she know something about them that I didn’t?

And then, there was the last thing she said… Are you sure you know her as well as you think you do?

Of course I know her. We’ve always had such a special connection… But then, I remember that there is at least one thing I don’t know about her: I still have no clue what they were talking about doing during lunch… which gets me stuck back onto that train of thought.

As a result, I once again walk out of the classroom having done very little learning. Between everything that’s been on my mind recently, it’ll be a miracle if I can pull good scores this grading period.

When I get to the band hall for jazz band, I almost walk straight into Ashley, who is closely examining a piece of paper that was taped to the wall near the door. She’s looking at it with a smug, satisfied expression.

“Results for our first chair test,” she explains, seeing my confused expression. “Surprise, you got first chair.”

I giggle weakly; of course, the joke is that I’m the only bassoon player. I briefly look at the sheet myself, and see that Ashley managed to get first in the horn section.

“Good job!” I tell her.

“Eh, it didn’t take much,” she replies casually, although I know her well enough to tell that she likes the attention. “Alright, we better get ready for rehearsal.”

“Wait!” I say. “What about…”

I don’t say anything else, but Ashley seems to already know what I’m thinking. “We’ll talk about it soon, I promise,” she assures me. “I would say this afternoon, if it weren’t for my lesson with Sarah…”

“It’s… not anything bad, is it?” I ask, not able to help myself.

“Well… I wouldn’t do anything immoral , if that’s what you mean. Of course, the situation is bad for Nova…”

However, at that point, we are interrupted by someone else walking through the doors; a tall, bespectacled, trumpet-playing junior named Lionel. He comes to a stop when he sees Ashley and I are blocking the path.

“So…” he comments dryly in his nasal voice, “are you guys going to just… stand there?”

“No, we’re not,” Ashley snaps back. “C’mon, let’s get going.”