Julia is asleep in Zander’s arms. “We have to find a doctor,” he says.

Ria pants heavily, “That’s impossible.”

When we cross the boards Serafina carries Julia as a result of better balance than Zander. After leaving the construction site we all run, looking for a hospital with supplies or even a drugstore. The thing to stop us from running any further is a bullet, landed on the street in front of Ally’s foot. The shooter closes his window and steps outside in less than a minute, “Stay there. KENNA!” He yells. Exiting onto the porch, a black-haired teenager who must be his daughter, Kenna.

“Your friend doesn’t look too good.” He says.

“Can you help us? She’s bleeding internally.” Ally says.

“You kids are lucky my son’s a paramedic.”

“Can he please help us?” Ally asks.

“Come on in.” The man offers.

His house is clean. A blue sofa with flower designs facing a fireplace. A set dining table and a bowl of fresh fruit on the counter in the kitchen.

“My son, Dennis is shopping but he should be back very soon.”

“Shopping?” I ask.

“Yes. The people outside are too much for me to handle and I rather not get munched on. You can put her on the couch.”

The man looks at Kenna, she crouches beside the sofa and checks Julia’s pulse. “She is breathing.”

“Do you have the supplies?” Zander asks Kenna.

“I have a scalpel but when it comes to medical supplies all we have are two first aid kits and a box of kids bandages.”

***

A boy with bags of food walks in and asks, “What’s all this?!”

“They need your help with their friend, she’s bleeding internally.”

Dennis is quick to help as he checks her wound, “What happened to her?”

“She was shot,” I say.

“But she’s a kid?”

“Fix her,” April says.

“Uh, I- I’ll try. Go somewhere else please.”

Kenna leads us upstairs to her room, she has a big room with the largest bed I’ve seen, a box tv on a white nightstand, and a glass desk. “I’m so sorry.” She says.

“There’s no need to apologize,” Eli argues.

“My daddy doesn’t like the thought of… all this, in fact, he hates it so he rejects reality and acts like things are the way they used to be. Dennis is just a scaredy-cat but he’s the sweetest brother ever.

“How did she get shot?”

“Some people attacked us at a construction site,” Logan replies.

“Adults? That’s horrid. I have nothing against adults, I’ll be one soon, most have been through a lot and deserve respect but it absolutely sickens me how many of them are hurting children. I used to live with my girlfriend in her apartment and a man attacked her for no reason. She would’ve turned seventeen in autumn.”

“You had a girlfriend?” April asks.

“Yeah, because I loved her — so much. That was all that mattered.”

Dennis opens the door and says, “It’s her subclavian artery. Not looking too good.”

Julia was awake, smiling, something, not just anyone would be after getting shot nearly to death. She wouldn’t have made it without these people. Call it a miracle but Dennis was right, she does not look too good, her skin is pale and her lips are dry as she had been breathing through her mouth since she was shot. Her eyes are more closed than they are open, there’s blood splattered on the couch and floor which the old man does not seem the slightest unbothered by, he must be thinking this child’s life has been saved by my own son but at what cost? My poor couch.

Why is she fucking smiling? She must’ve lost so much blood.

“Hey, Ally.” She whispers.

Ally crouches beside Julia and rests her hand on the couch, “Yeah?”

“You better look after him. Please” -She coughs- “make sure that stupid boy doesn’t get hurt like this.”

“Why do you talk like that?” Ally has tears form in her eyes, they redden.

“We both know I won’t make it. Suck it up, not everything is fine.”

“I wish it was.”

“You and the rest of this planet.

Nitro.” she calls.

I sit on the sofa by her feet, “Hm?”

“You, you better take care of them.” She looks at Serafina and finishes, “Especially her.”

Before I fully stand up Julia’s eyes stick in place though she looks unconscious, she starts shaking, her body making sudden jerking movements. Dennis rushes over and pushes us out of the way. April comes to stand beside me and asks, “What’s happening.”

“I think it’s a seizure,” I say quietly.

After Julia stops her eyes don’t move, her chest doesn’t either.

Ally raises her voice, “Is she dead?”

Dennis checks her pulse then straightens his back, “I’m sorry.”

***

Kenna made dinner for us, salads with pieces of chicken that it looks like she grilled. It amazes me how her family is able to live like this but like Serafina said, Whatever keeps them sane.

“I don’t think I formally introduced myself.” The old man says, “Earl Halen.”

“Like Van Halen?” April asks.

“No, I am surprised you of all people would ask that. How old are you, kiddo?”

“I’m ten, my birthday’s April first.”

“Ah, April Fools Day.”

“My mom was really excited, I was born at ten pm so she thought wouldn’t have me in time for my birthday to be on a holiday.”

After dinner Dennis stitched the wound on my leg, that's the second time I've had to have stitches and all in one month – I assume.

Tonight we thankfully were able to stay the night, in the basement, but it’s better than nothing. Dennis put Julia in a big trash bag for him to bury tomorrow, he helped us a lot for nothing in return, maybe he expects something, or maybe he’s one of the few good people.

Candle’s are spread throughout the cold basement that smells like a damp towel from the bathroom, hours after your mother finished taking a shower. We have blankets and sleeping bags. It’s one in the morning, almost everyone is asleep, everyone is still devastated about what happened to Julia, especially a crying Zander only a foot or two away from me. He’s pretending to be asleep but I’ve seen that type of crying before, I’ve felt it. When you want to scream but know you can’t so you just open your silent mouth while your cheeks hurt. You grip at everything around you and scratch, even hit yourself. Your heart beats so fast and you clench your flooded eyes. It’s the worst feeling, a certain type of crying that isn’t a good sign. I lift up my body with my hands against the cold, dirty floor, toward Zander and ask the obvious, “Are you okay.”

He sits up but doesn’t look at me, “Out of all people I never expected something to happen to her. I loved her.”

“Enough to leave her?”

He smirks, “Yeah not one of my brightest moments. I loved Ally in a way I couldn’t even think about feeling with Julia, I had to leave her.”

“You think she likes you back?” I try to divert his thoughts.

“I wouldn’t know, she’s nice to everyone, with Julia it was… different.”

“You could tell?”

“Could I tell? She made all the classic moves girls make. The day we started dating was on our field trip to D.C, she sat next to me, my nose was bleeding and we had a long way ahead of us, she offered me her spare jacket. She did that hand trick, ‘Let's compare hands!’ He says in a mocking tone.

“Like hand sizes?”

“Yeah, it’s a way to, I don’t even know, hold hands? Hell.”

“It work?”

“Two days later we kissed, I’d say it did.”

“How did you know you even loved Ally?”

“What’s this all about?” He raises his eyebrows with a smile. “Nitro, you know you’re in love when you know, it’s not that complicated.”

“For you, it isn’t.”

“Sera-”

“No. I just… I don’t know if I like this person, it feels like I do but something is wrong, I’m not supposed to.”

“Why aren’t you supposed to?” His voice becomes calm and is more sympathetic.

I don’t respond.

“The world isn’t that big of a place anymore, one way or another I’m gonna know who this person is.”

“And if you do?”

“As long as it isn’t dead I’m cool with it.” He pats my back, his hands are oddly cold, and sweaty.

“She told Ally to look after you,” I say.

“I wish she was that nice when she wasn’t dying, she called kids the meanest things, teachers too. Every memory I look back on looks like a missed opportunity.”

“Fuck.” I whisper, slowly realizing.

“What?”

“She died, but we didn’t get her head.”

“Dennis put her in that bag though, it’ll be fine.”

***

I sit on the bloodstained couch beside April, inspecting the dagger in my hands, it’s silver with little gold designs, swirls, above the grip. On the blade a date is engraved, 1986. Dennis has been outside burying Julia for longer than he should be, maybe burying someone isn’t as easy as it sounds. I stand up and make my way to the door, April follows, “Where are you going?”

“I just wanna check on Dennis.”

“In case he died?”

“I don’t think he’s dead.”

“I’ll check with you.”

It looks like Dennis already buried Julia, he’s standing on the sidewalk, it looks like he has been for quite a long time. April and I stand, unnoticed, on the blue-grey porch. A man, scraggly looking, with a long, blonde beard approaches Dennis. “Help.”

“What’s wrong sir?”

“I need food.”

Their conversation drowns out when I notice a woman wearing a big, black jacket comes down the other end of the street, facing Dennis’ back. I nudge April behind me, out of sight. The woman raises a knife, by now I’m opening the door, instructing April to go inside. I pull out the dagger and run to the man, I hold it to his throat and yell, “Dennis!” before the woman gets closer. She grabs him and does the same threatening act, “You kill him, Dennis go bye-bye.”

I don’t move, neither does she. “Stop! April shouts, slamming the front door behind her, she holds her gun up and aims at the woman’s head.

“Fine.” The accent-ridden woman says. She slits Dennis’ throat. I jab the dagger into the man’s skull. The woman rushes to me, then blood flows out of her bullet wound to the head. I look at the porch in awe expecting it to be April when I see Eli behind her, with his rifle. April is frozen except for her shaky hands. Serafina quickly opens the door, alerted by the gunshot. I thought April was able to cause harm without hesitating, still, she's just a kid, maybe only four years younger than me but a scared, grieving, kid. I go inside with the others and sit beside April, “You alright?”

“I’m so sorry, I was going to pull the trigger, I swear.”

“I know you can, but ‘going to’ isn’t certain, death is, I could’ve died if it wasn’t for Eli.” I glance at him with assurance.

“I feel so bad, I never want you to die.” She wraps her arms around me despite me being splattered with blood, I hug her back. “Do you hate me now?” She asks.

“Of course not, I wouldn’t ever hate you. It’s not your fault that some people are bad. Although…” She looks up at me then I say, “you need to toughen up a little, I don’t want to and won’t force you to but sometimes hard decisions have to be made.”

“I can kill biters, just seeing you in danger was different, I could’ve shot you on accident too!”

“I doubt it.”

Kenna fumbles down the stairs, “What happened?” It looks like she just woke up.

“Kenna.” I approach her, “Two people attacked Dennis. He didn’t make it.”

“My dad’s gonna kill someone. You, you need to leave now, before he finds Dennis. Crap.” her voice breaks under her palm.

I turn to face Serafina. The road it is, again.

***

Ally, now in front of me but guarded by Zander after the scare at Earl’s house, has been checking out her finger, unwrapped, the entire time we’ve been walking down this street, she’s going to trip and fall.

“Dennis was nice,” Zander says.

A guilty look falls over April’s face, “He was.”

“Hey, this wasn’t your fault.” Zander looks back at April.

“Where are we going now? Since we left the school shit hasn’t worked.” Logan mentions, he ties his hair that’s grown to almost the same length as Serafina’s freshly cut, birchwood resembling, hair up with a rubber band. He isn’t all that wrong, since we left we haven’t had a safe, big place to stay, sleep and eat. Staying there forever though?

“Logan, don’t start now…” Eli’s cut off.

“No, Eli, I think it’s the perfect time to start. The night we took those two in you said to me ‘Oh I don’t trust these people, blah blah blah’. And look where trusting them has got us. They got Six killed, Alexa kidnapped, Sophie and noww,” —he looks to Zander— “Julia killed. Oh yeah, and we’re in the streets of fucking New York! Because some little bitch wanted to see his druggie mom.”

“This isn’t about them, we would’ve left either way.” Eli debates.

“Really?” Logan laughs, “Everything we did after meeting them was for their own good, not ours.” He tosses his hands up.

Ria’s eyes are watering, it’s easy to say no one likes what’s happening. Ria has known these two for years and she may be watching their friendship slowly fall apart, because of Serafina and I?

“Trying to kill someone isn’t going to fix anything!” Eli refers to the day, not even a week ago, when Logan locked me out of the RV.

“The only reason I did that was because in the woods you were too pussy to-”

Eli slams his hand on Logan’s mouth, “Just shut the fuck up.” The whole group stops moving. When Eli removes his hand they exchange glimpses and Logan looks down then back up, “Yeah, sorry man.” Eli gives him a look of disapproval.

***

We pass under a bridge by a green sign, ‘John St’, and turn when we reach a neighborhood. “Houses look empty,” I say.

“No harm in looking?” Ria says.

We walk up the driveway to a white house with a black pickup truck, only until I’m close enough to smell the exhaust, it’s on, and someone’s inside. I turn around and signal the others to leave when I’m knocked out by something.