The girl and her friends brought us to their camp, they have an RV and tent. We all sit down inside the RV. The girl with the purple bandanna says, “I’m Roxanne, that’s my twin sister, Taylor and her boyfriend, Sam. You can help us by scavenging, protecting us, and keeping watch, in return we’ll take you wherever you want and let you keep most of what you find.”

“Can you take us to New York.”

“Of course. However, this isn’t our camp, we stay at a restaurant a couple miles from here but we move a lot.”

Taylor speaks, “Kid, you’re from Red Easton?”

April nods her head, “My mom’s there.”

“You left your mom?” Roxanne giggles.

“We don’t know her situation.” Taylor mutters.

“It’s all good.” April says.

“Take my crossbow, go hunting and don’t waste arrows. I’ll tell you how Red Easton is holding up. The rest of you can scavenge and help out with the hunting.”

Just like that Roxanne and Taylor are gone, they left Sam to ‘Watch over us.’

“What are your ages? You look young.” He says.

"It's weird to see that around here."

“April’s ten, the rest of us are fourteen.” Serafina replies.

“I’m seventeen, the girls are sixteen. Don’t waste your lives, childhood or whatever.” His voice gets quieter as he walks away.

***

"Can you not fucking aim?!" Julia shouts at Zander.

We've been shooting at animals, rabbits and turkey mostly (which isn't the best idea), for almost an hour and we only have two rabbits, one of which I shot.

"You know what, maybe we should've gone ice fishing." Logan sighs.

April says, "Like we have the supplies for that. These kids are gonna kick us out if we don't catch some real food."

"Should we spread out more? It doesn't seem like there's a lot of animals right here." I say.

"Yeah, good idea. Just – no one go too far, it's starting to snow worse and worse." April says.

Logan trails off, "The more snow, the less food." Is heard through the trees.

I go further into the woods as well and start hunting. Hunting is a weird thing, it's just a part of survival that almost all living things do but it's weirder to humans than it is to other animals because it's killing, and before the world got like this, even now the sane people hate killing animals. I haven't hunted before around six months ago so I'm still shitty at not scaring away the animals and killing them the right way. Until Serafina told me I had no idea that you can kill someone or something slowly or quickly depending on where you hurt them, I thought it was just a matter of speed. I'd much rather go out quickly though, that's why mercy kills exist. When you catch a fish the wrong way and kill it quickly so it doesn't die painfully, or snap a puppy or kitten's neck when it's born with an agonizing disability that'll cause it to slowly, then surely die before it turns a year. Serafina watched her mom do that to a kitten in her cat's litter when she was younger, her mom was on the phone with her dad, sobbing, saying something was severely wrong with it.

I caught two rabbits and chased after a turkey I didn't end up catching long enough to have my fingers turn purple. All we have are rabbits, too many animals hibernate or hide in the winter, rabbits won't keep us going.

I'm lucky to still have my watch but it has a crack on it - not a big deal. It's already five which means we've been at this for, what, three hours?

The snow got so bad in the last few hours, I can't feel my hands or face and my eyes are so dry it burns.

I make my way back to the RV when I stop as I see Logan yelling at Ria, Julia's inside the RV, she can be seen through the window, watching the fight, no one else is around, or maybe they're already inside. Ria slams a department store bucket with animals, rodents at that, to the ground. She walks away towards the tent, out of my field of vision.

Logan notices me and he's clearly angry. I saunter towards him, knowing he's going to either nag or shout at me too.

"Why did you yell at her?" I ask.

"It's you. Sure she trusted you like most people here but entirely this is all your fault."

"Did something happen?"

"Eli might be dead."

"The fuck?"

"He left because of you! He was supposed to be with me and he was for a while until he took off, far into the woods while I wasn't looking. With the rate this storm is at, I'd bet he's well gone by now."

"How is this my fault?" My voice is barely heard over the loud wind.

"Who else could've made him so upset, angry or tempted to venture off in something like this? You two got way too close since you've been here. You got Sophie killed, you shouldn't have brought her back, nonetheless try to befriend us. You and Serafina are bad people that'll just drag us down."

"What?!" I can't think of anything else to say. Logan never struck me as the type of person to say something like that, he knows Sophie's death wasn't my fault. Why would he blame me like this?

It's so cold that I'm slowed down as I try to walk towards the RV to get inside and not freeze to death. Logan blocks the doorway but doesn't go inside, I scrunch my eyebrows at him in confusion and try to maneuver around him to get in. He pushes me back into the snow at full force and slams the door. I stand up and through the window see Logan arguing with others, still blocking the door. If I want to not get hypothermia then I need to go somewhere warmer, fast. I turn and make my way to the tent but it's gone, someone must've picked it up so it wouldn't fly away or get buried. There's no shelter to be seen so with the little strength I still have I run into the forest. Panting loudly, looking left, right, up and down, trying to find somewhere. After I've made it past the trees, through all the white I can see something dark, like a house. My legs are so weak I could fall down at any given moment. I try running but only jog, it's a cabin, I reach for the doorknob but with my luck the door won't open. I see a window and pull out my gun to smash it but I'm not strong enough, risking the noise, I shoot the window and climb through, landing on a shaky workbench. Just being inside already, I'm starting to warm up and feel so much better than I would have waiting for someone to let me in that RV with a guy who wants to beat the shit out of me for practically killing his best friend. Eli. There's no way he's dead. Thinking it through, how it could've been my fault, how he could be yearning for human flesh at this very moment I start crying, which on the bright side moisturizes my eyes. I feel like I can't breathe. This is my fault, he could be dead, he was such a good person and there was so much more I wish I could learn about him, so many things run through my head. I deserve to die. Something I did made him run away, Logan may be an asshole but he's Eli's best friend and knows him well. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. I throw my head backward against the wall and grip at the splintered floor. I'm such a bad person. I wanted to be nicer to Eli, protect him even, and what did I do, ended up killing him?

I crawl onto my side and bring my knees up, wrap my arms around them, like a girl or baby would. It's still so cold but I can feel my eyes closing and my thoughts drowning out.

Half asleep I jerk up and grip my gun. Someone or something bangs on the door. Instead of backing into the corner, I move closer to the door to avoid being seen.

"Come on!" A boy shouts.

Out of instinct I run to the door and push the wood, blocking it, out of the way. To my surprise, Eli barges inside and widens his eyes at me, "What are you doing?" He asks, breathing heavily. I wrap my arms around him promptly, "I thought you were dead, you asshole."

"So you ran into a shed?" He laughs.

In a more serious tone he asks, "What are you doing in here?"

Logan is a son of a bitch, I'll give him that but Eli's alive, I didn’t freeze, would ratting him out for going batshit on everyone and hurting their friendship be worth it?

"I just got into a fight with someone and I couldn't get into the RV."

"Who?"

I ignore him and ask, "Why did you run away in the middle of this?"

"I guess I got into a fight with someone too."

"Who?" I ask, immediately realizing that was a stupid question as Eli silently smirks at me.

"It was a stupid thing to run away over."

"You warm enough to go back?" I ask.

"Nah." He says leaning against the wall with a sarcastic look on his face.

"Come on." I pull his arm and reach for the door.

***

I knock on the door and still, faint arguing can be heard. After almost a minute, Logan opens the door angrily, his expression changes the moment he glances at Eli. Once we step inside Eli gives me a look, like he's asking a question, like he knows Logan was the one to kick me out. I walk to the back of the RV, inside a small bedroom and sit down next to Serafina. "I'm so sorry, I tried to open the door and calm Logan down and everything but he was being so vicious." She rubs her thumb across my forehead.

"It's not your fault, thank you."

She reaches into her pocket and pulls out a pair of neon green scissors, "Look what I found."

"They don't look sharp enough to defend yourself." I reply.

"Not as a weapon."

"You're going to cut your hair?"

"I was hoping you could help me."

"Yeah, sure."

The door opens, Taylor and Roxanne enter. "Kid." Taylor says.

April gives them her attention.

"Sorry but some shit is going down over there. Like a revolution of sorts. Not a bad one though. It's good people are finally standing up to those dickheads."

"Can you bring me there?" April asks.

Everyone looks shocked, April wanted to leave that place, but now she wants to go there at the worst possible time.

"You coming back?" Taylor asks.

"Maybe."

Roxanne crosses her arms, "Bring you there now?"

"Yes."

No one tries to stop her or interject. It seems like people are still shaken up about what Logan did earlier.

Serafina glances at me.

“There a bathroom in here?” I ask.

“Yeah, a small one.” She guides me to the bathroom and hands me the scissors, then stands in front of the mirror.

“I have no idea what I’m doing.” I say.

“Just make it like shoulder length, I don’t care how messy it is.”

As I start to chop off strands of her hair I ask, “What made you wanna do this?”

“It’s safer I guess, and I’ve had my hair this long for ages. In that house I asked April why her hair was shaved and she practically gave me an essay.”

“We’re gonna need new clothes, it’s getting really cold.” I say.

“The further down we move, the warmer it’ll get.”

“Then we should get going fast.”

Once I finish cutting her hair she says, “It looks pretty good. You know, your hair is getting long, want me to cut it?”

“It’s not that long.”

“You can’t even see, with it all in your face like that!”

“I can do it myself.”

“So you don’t trust me enough?” She inquires.

“No, I” I sigh, “Fine, you can do it.”

A couple of minutes later she sets the scissors down on the sink. She didn’t cut it much, it looks the same, just less overgrown. “Wow, you did way better than I expected.”

“I used to cut my doll’s hair.” She opens the door and we leave the bathroom. Everyone is sitting down talking about something. People turn and look surprised at the sight of Serafina with short hair. “We’re leaving or taking you back to Easton, your choice.” Sam declares.

“Woah, we’re leaving now?” I ask.

“Tomorrow.” Roxanne says, “Some of your groupmates feel indifferent since April left.”

“She’s already gone?”

“We just got back less than a minute ago.” Roxanne leans up against the door, “Alright, if you wanna go to New York then we’re going tomorrow, I am not driving through a storm worse than this one. If your friend comes back before we leave then great, if not then too bad. Then it’s your decision whether you leave or stay. We have some business down south either way, so it’s for our benefit as well.”

Once the storm calmed down Zander went outside to cook food, that was the first food any of us had in a long time. Only a few of us slept, I wasn’t one of those who did, not that we needed to sleep that badly. The entirety of this morning we prepared to leave. I cleared the area of monsters while the others hunted, I heard someone was going to try ice fishing back at that lake. The snow and cold definitely slowed down the zombies, which is one upside to living in the North. I killed the ones closer to the RV then eventually went inside to rest, alone. I sat at the table beside the window and drank the melted snow Ria gave me earlier, after I woke up.

Someone outside is screaming loudly, which is never good. I run outside and April is standing there, a few feet away from the RV, she’s gasping for air and bawling her eyes out, when she sees me she runs towards me and hugs me, leaving snot and tears all over my clothes. I hug her back and move my hand up and down her back to comfort her.

“Come on inside.” I say, walking her inside. She sits down at the table, I set down a bag of chips in front of her that we received from the vending machine and sit beside her. I’ll let her tell me what’s wrong when she’s ready, I don’t want to make it worse by asking.

She catches her breath and admits, “My mom died. There were fires everywhere and she got trapped. I tried saving her and it burned my leg. It hurts so bad, I hate it.”

“Just go rest. Also… we’ll be leaving soon.”

“I’m fine with that.”

“And rinse your leg with water, there’s a bucket in the bathroom.”

I go back outside into the cold and towards the edge of the woods, Serafina approaches me, who’s been hunting with Ally, from what I can see it looks like she’s having a hard time doing so.

“April’s back.” I say.

“How is she?”

“Her mom died.”

“Wow. That’s really shitty.”

Ally turns around, “Poor kid, I’m glad I never had to go through that.”

“Losing your mom sucks.” Serafina says.

“Not always.” I reply.

Seraafina playfully pushes me.

“When are they coming back? We should get going.” Ally says.

“Who?” I ask.

“Sam and the twins. They went scavenging or something.”

***

Everyone waits in the RV until the twins and Sam come in with bags full of supplies.

“Elmira it is.” Roxanne says.

More and more hours pass of us laying around, sleeping, eating, talking. Then in the middle of nowhere in New York, not Elmira, the RV stops.

“It’s outta gas.” Taylor says.

Sam opens the door, “You guys aren’t that far, take the map and a bag. Looks like we’re in Sidney.”

Just like that we’re back on the road. Those people were good to us, which makes me wish they’d stay.

There’s a salvo of gunshots and screaming. We run to the nearest building and duck down. Loads of zombies start swarming the area. Serafina squeezes my hand as she starts hyperventilating, she’s having a panic attack. Julia is the first one to stand up and scope out somewhere safe, she points to the left, an alleyway. We use it to escape and keep running straight, the zombies still chase us. Ally falls behind and as Zander runs back to get her a zombie gets a hold of her and bites her. Zander takes out the zombie. Ally raises up her hand and tears stream down her face.

“Cut it off.” Zander says.

“What?!” Ally shrieks.

“Cut off her finger!” He insists. “It might be the only way she’ll make it.”

Julia grabs Ally and pins her to the side of a building, the others hold off the zombies when Julia shouts, “Nitro, help me!” Ally is squirming and crying. We have to do this fast although it’s something I really don’t want to do. I pull out my knife and take Ally’s hand. Her middle finger on her right hand. I raise the blade and blood squirts all over. Ally’s still crying and screaming, drawing the zombies closer. Julia rips a piece of her shirt off and wraps it around Ally’s finger, what’s left of it. We keep running, passing road signs and bodies.

“New York’s a dump huh?” Eli says.

“It’s worse in the big cities.” I reply.

Ally’s calmed down but she’s still shaking, most of us are, from the cold.

“We won’t make it all the way there on foot.” Serafina says.

“It’s a few hours away.”

“Fifty maybe.” She mumbles.

“Stop whining. At least we made it here, we could’ve still been in New Hampshire.”

From the corner of my eye I can see a group of people arguing, “Looks more populated here.” I say.

“Could be a good thing, probably a bad thing.” Julia replies.

***

It’s seven pm and we’re still walking. I notice a man sitting on a bench with a bottle of alcohol in one hand and a rifle in the other. Actually I don’t think that’s just any man, he looks like someone I’ve met before, someone who was really aggressive.

“I think I know that guy.” I whisper.

“You wanna talk to him?” Ally asks.

Serafina raises her head, “Whoever he is, he doesn’t look happy, I say we avoid him.”

“Just wait here.” I say before walking up to the man, he interjects before I can even spit out a sentence, “Oh, hey! If it isn’t Marissa’s boy. I remember you.”

He’s obviously drunk, I ignore him then he slurs, “Rude of you to disrespect your mom’s old friend, hah I guess you coulddd say we were a little more than that once.”

I turn swiftly, “Do you know where she is.”

“Do I know- You know what, you’re just like that bitch, only caring about yourself then leaving when you get your wish.” He laughs.

“Fuck you.” I mumble.

“She’d be proud of you kid, first the attitude, next you’ll be jacking off men like me for wh-”

I strike his face then immediately back away, realising his anger. The man grabs a hold of me and spits in my eyes.

“Fuck!” I scream.

Serafina runs out of hiding and aims her gun at the man. He pushes me aside and picks up his rifle. He notices the others not far behind Serafina when April shouts, “What’s your problem?!”

The man stumbles and lifts his rifle to his head, smiling.

Don’t!’s and Stop!’s can be heard among us that are briskly silenced by the loud gunshot from the gun that caused the man’s brain matter to fly out before his thin body hits the ground along with his bottle, smashed on the pavement.

No one speaks, no one moves. Lots look away, others can’t help but to stare. I’ve seen lots of bodies, gore, and death, but I have never, ever seen something as scary as that. Suicide didn’t seem as bad before, but now it’s so terrible, much worse than how the inspirational people describe it. And I had to stand only a foot away from the man who now looks like thrown-up dog food. That’s when I realize, April, a little girl who just lost her mom had to witness that. Her hands are covering her face and she’s trembling. I start towards and hug her. She’s shaking a lot and whimpering like a wounded puppy. “It’s okay.” I say quietly.

“At least he won’t have to come back.” She mutters.

“Yeah.”

The man was a stupid fucker and I have very little sympathy for him but what he did was beyond terrifying, something anyone would feel ‘bad’ over.

We walk away, I let go of April once we’re half a block away and she’s visibly better.

“We should find somewhere to stay until it gets light.” Logan says. He hasn’t looked at me in so long, and is still being petty.

“What about that place?” I ask.

“That thing, is it even a house?” He retorts.

“It’s better than out here.” Serafina says.

The inside is rundown but it was either here or the bakery further down the street.

Inside, April asks, “What time is it?”

“We should just sleep until it gets light out. I can watch.” I say.

“Sleeping in here? This place is covered in roaches and trash.” Logan says.

“It’s not that bad. If you can’t handle it then stay somewhere else.”

“Sure.” He slams the door behind him and travels down the street.

Eli’s standing with his feet planted to the ground, “You aren’t gonna chase after him?” I ask.

“Why would I? He’ll be back.”

“He’s your friend.”

“Logan can take care of himself for one night.”

“Can I talk to you?”

We stand in the hallway when he asks, “It was Logan that kicked you out wasn’t it?”

“It’s fine, I made it.”

“But you also couldn’t have, and he knew that.”

“I’m sure he didn’t want me dead.”

“In the woods we got into a fight.”

“That’s why you ran away?” Logan told me it was my fault, but he was there and watched it happen. Why would he blame me?

“I didn’t plan on going far but the snow got bad.” He quickly changes the subject, “Are you okay?”

“What do you mean?”

“You seem kinda out of it.”

“Sorry, that man messed with my head a little.”

“A boy in our group did that, he was looking down the barrel of his gun, such a dumb thing to do.”

“Did you get over it?”

“Some people do, others don’t.” He hugs me, “You’ll be fine though.”